Walking with a questioning mind , may allow unwanted and undesirable things . Remembering how naive I was and still that I allowed lots of hurt to come into my life .Year after year I realize that nothing will be so dramatic unless I allowed that to happen .Being angry or upset or frustrated that what the enemy wants from you .He won't launch his attack unless he knows that you are vulnerable to that . with all the set backs ,we sent a message to the wrong to happen when we give the impression that we are ignorant and unaware of the world around .
Despite all the scientific advancement and the technology , there is that dangerous deep darkness , lives within the humans especially those who are willing to corporate with the devil .Many of hard crimes are done by the most vulnerable persons around us . So scary that it is hard to identify the truth . A question aroused to my mind and always came to those who wonder and had no clue why bad things happen to good people ? or why someone you don't know , would become the one who will end your life and why this happens and why always a certain race or color that has the majority of harming others ? Are we living in a jungle or money , power ,authority and fake promises , blinded those who are hungry for getting something that they think it will fulfill their hunger ? No wonder that all this harm and hurt is happening all around ? Wondering , is this the will of God ? and when we give our life to God what this means ? And if the harm will continue to come to us from those we hardly know and why it keeps going even when we trust ?
Choosing to walk my journey with God , allowed me to regret many things that had been done . Listing them may help me not to forget and keep going no matter what. Among these things I remember , I regret not believing in myself since I was 17 years old.I regret surrendering to the abuse and misuse since I was 20 years old. I regret not following God's way since I was 25 years old . I regret not believing there is hope in life and I can be the change that God wants since I was 25 years old . I regret allowing so many in my life who took advantage of me of being vulnerable and naive and allowing myself to be sold several times. I regret not believing my gut when God open the door for me to be free and have the freedom to choose my life not to be abused or misused again. I regret opening the door for the wickedness to eat my soul and shake me till I am no longer know myself . I regret trusting others for all my inner feelings which allowed so many hurt . Putting all this down allows me not to forget to stand for myself and defend that human that once was exist .
witnessing so many scenarios and attacks , made me aware how true life could be tricky and harmful for those who allow those hurts to come into their lives. So the responsibility is mine , not anybody else . There are two parts in our everyday life ,those who don't want conflicts to end and creating it all the time as this is how they choose to run the world around them and here always there is food for the fire to keep going , no matter how good you are , you are going to pass this party and it is only by God's Grace that you may over come . They know each detail about you , even if they don't know they farm someone to get into you to keep this fire going and you become another piece of business that want the best out of it and then it is done . So sad to know how many fall into such net .
Another party that want to throw away anything can hinder their success or getting what they want . They throw away any bond or anything can hinder them . And you will experience that as well . Two mountains of flames, rocks and walls . Obstacles that you have to over come .Life is not what you think anymore and here you come to a point who you are and which party that you are around and if you are a lab rat not a human being or your are being considered an enemy that has to be fought by all psychological fierce strategies that can bring you down .
All that brings you to the same point that you are wondering about which is from God and which is not ? with all this mountain of events and emotions ,you start to question is there areal peaceful life with God ? or life became one piece of unpredictable hard times , humans track humans, humans harm humans , humans live on other humans , humans finish other humans . Is this our way with God? You are unable to know anything for sure anymore, what is being said in your face , is completely different from what is being said behind you . So , no guarantee for anything . Fear surrounded us more than belief, peace , honesty , clarity and truth.
Where are we heading with humanity if we are not true to ourselves. Knowing who we are and what really God created us for and have the willingness to respect that ,to redirect the fire into a breeze to open doors before the desperate and helpless and those who are hungry to see something good in their lives . They lost the way as the fire left no other choice for them , surrounding them with all hindrances they could create within a human being life . Looking for hope even in the grass that covers any area around ,there is life , there is hope ,Not Death , Stop making your life at the expense of another human life and value this creature that was created in His image .
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