Social Safety and how it is linked directly to life stress, health and disease?

 

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32141764/#&gid=article-figures&pid=figure-2-uid-1

Hello there, 

   Can you imagine only one more day in 2024? A year that loaded the world with heavy lessons, making the need for deeper reflection a must. This time I want to reflect on the layers the human mind is impacted with and bidirectionally, human- systems taking us in different directions. In human ecology, you are not separated from these systems that shape your perspectives, beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, relationships, wins, gains, losses, health, and disease. It all starts with the day you have a name, age, gender, sex, family, and community. Let's ask some questions: Have you ever had the choice to select where you were born, your biological parents, the neighborhood, or the people who will enter your life at an early age? I bit, the answer is simply "No" none of us did either. Therefore, the early foundation of social safety or lack of social safety was provided to us. The formula that forms the early foundation of stress response, increased sense of fear, or being nurtured, supported, and made you full of life. Yet, as you grow this formula gets complex through complex inputs shaking the foundation whether safe or unsafe. The complexity is embedded within the systems humans interact, communicate, relate, and behave.

      For example, once you become ten years of age, sixteen, nineteen, twenty-five, thirty, and thirty-five, your environment has the most critical changes in your brain, behavior, and perceptions of others. The complex hierarchy of personality traits, and types, and how much racial injustices have been experienced promote the tendency of antisocial, narcissistic, victimhood, disturbed, or well-balanced with whatever has been experienced. Experiencing poverty, domestic violence, and dysfunctional relationships enables antisocial behavior when chemistry and brain structures are predisposed. Caring for the well-being was not a Western culture language that witnessed wars for centuries. From all over the world, humans seek the West to continue the fight. Human existence is not established on peace, you have to fight, from individual to state, and country level increasing the probability of millions predisposed to have antisocial behaviors promoted by violence against one another even in the form of cutting off the line a cup of coffee as the hustle of the day allowed for this behavior to emerge. Even romantic relationships become a source of feeding antisocial behavior by disturbing those who reject such behaviors disturbing their lives. At an early age, projection, and rejection are based on disorganized attachment patterns of relationships that disturb the body-mind-spirit homeostasis. Relationships at an early age become a survival tool begging to be fit or belong to someone even if it is not healthy, even the grown-never thought of emotional well-being as a sort of self-respect. 

   

     Even grown-ups have pleasure in watching someone struggle to fight for their lives. The sense of social safety has been torn apart a long time ago. Females become the vulnerable ticket for any antisocial behavior. Millions of lives have been disrupted due to the complex human systems of survival. Millions of females were forced to follow the dysfunction or when they decided to step out of the dysfunction antisocial war continues to break the person down, with all tools or means even practicing spill work, plotted crises, stirring tens of conflicts around them only because the ego control, the obsession of control drives the antisocial behavior seeking fleshly desires only for the sake of control. In modern times, females have no social safety within their communities, or whoever is around them seeking control, mere control over their lives. When it is asked, do you feel safe? The answer comes right away"No". I miss walking across the street without fear, I miss communicating with others without my conversation being safe, I miss walking within the community to be, and have a normal day. I miss speaking out without being judged, and million labels added to me. I miss the ability to dream and imagine the life that will give GOD all the glory without being tormented mentally, and psychologically, and harm is being done. 2024 brought the lack of social safety for a female like me who dreamed one day of a world that respects humans for who they are. I am shocked by the continuation of the natural selection rule and survival of the fittest still in action. No differentiation between gender, age, sex, or beliefs. I noticed the most successful persons understand the dysfunctional systems, yet choose to watch from far away and mind their own business, while those who are selected to be the game of the antisocial behavior have to keep standing up for themselves despite all the hurt done, it is their own responsibility, and no one else. If you think the world will defend the injustice, you will wait for your entire life, till more hundred years to come. It is the time when you can see how antisocial impacting many vulnerable around, and all you do is understand how to maintain a sense of safety when lack of social safety becomes a norm for millions of cases around. 

  

    Misunderstanding of freedom and misuse of freedom doesn't have to be your responsibility. When the environment embeds antisocial behavior as the norm, it is not your responsibility to take it upon yourself. Lacking a sense of well-being, and respect around is not your responsibility. It is a complex outcome of the generational racial structured system when not accepting the social norm of social dysfunction has to be addressed, and taught to each female on earth. When you have the right to say "No" to anything or anyone that does not align with your life, and principles of life, and let live, here the truth is revealed that respect for your wish is not in place, this is a red flag you have to be aware of. When a female has a voice, that will be a sign of civilized community and respect for human life, live and let live. It is a sign of emotional maturity that every person has the respect they owe to themselves, and that should be the norm. Maintaining the dysfunctional dynamics of not respecting a female voice, and choice is a red flag to be aware of. When we live in the West, does not mean we will forget how to elvate our life, mind, and contributions with good deeds into the world we live in. The underlying causation and correlation of disease are socioeconomic, cultural, and environmental, you are not your genes, and you are not what the world says who you are, or what you should do in life, when control becomes the goal, this is a red flag of dysfunctional dynamics, and lack of social safety. We live in tough times when trust is not in place, and fear becomes an integral part of human behaviors, decisions, and choices leading to disease manifestation and weakening the human existence for the benefit of antisocial behaviors, and egoism for the love of control. 

     The absence of well-being concepts, what does it mean? How it could be established, and how to embed it into everyday life, is not a Western principle which affected for generations millions of lives. Can the times change this gap? Can humans realize their value, and give themselves the respect they deserve? Can we stand for the good life with dignity and respect? Can we empower the vulnerable, the weak, and the young how to evolve and use their life to serve the world by doing good things, changing the world, starting with yourself first, being the change you want to see in the world, knowing that structured racism allowed for the forty, or their millions of antisocial brains to exist around us, and we have to struggle to balance their heavy attitudes toward humans, seek enlightenment, learning, and hoping for change to take place. Give yourself a chance to evaluate the level of social safety around you? How does it impact your life? What steps you would like to take to evaluate, and be a detector of the social imbalances and their impact on health and well-being, everyone's challenges are different based on their life story. Therefore, everyone has their own red flags, warnings, patterns, and outcomes that affect them so deeply that they lose the sense of social safety, and their peace is disrupted differently. Take your time, GOD is with you. He is never against you, be aware of Cain's seeds, and understand that when hurt people, hurt people. Remember, healed people, heal people. Peace!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

Why many lessons hard to be learned?- How humans reconcile to the presence of the free blessings all around?

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/or77o6/image_lessons_in_life_will_be_repeated_until_they/#lightbox

Hello there, 

   

        Have you ever noticed that days go by so fast, even many are caught in the inability to acknowledge the free blessings everywhere humans listen to the voice of the heavenly father from above, from the rising sun to the dawn of the newborn day? However, the narrative of Able and Cain took humans into the unresolved narrative of jealousy, competition, dissatisfaction, and hate for anything they can not have or get not considering what they already have. Year after year the lesson is repeated and human behavior mostly represents the same patterns of too much negativity, and drama, letting the ill-fruit of the spirit spread through the day. Strangely, jealousy is a creeping sickness even from those you don't know or hardly know you, however, jealousy spreads through even close relationships that becomes an excuse to push misbehaviors into someone's life. It is easy to spot when someone's accomplishment doesn't matter to them, when hard work is belittled when questioning goals and doing whatever it takes to hold you captive, outdoing you, everything about them, and you are their last priority. When your vision is pushed down, and every opportunity heading your way has been taken away from you. That is the Cain seeds in generation after generation presenting itself in many shapes and behaviors. Even the plain bread you eat becomes the source of jealousy in those who adopt Cain's jealousy and dissatisfaction with what they have and seek whatever the other has. 

     When we ask why some of their dreams are accomplished while others' dreams have been stolen, taken away from them, and found insurmountable hardships, one of the significant answers that those who attained their dreams were and are surrounded by the right group of people who lift them up, support, and applaud their accomplishment, while those whose dreams were, and are taken from them were and are surrounded by the wrong group of people who are in competition with the dreamer, who seek their own interests, and have joy in harming the other. Do not question when you notice your success upsets some, and they looking for any opportunity to upset, and belittle you, break your confidence, and install self-doubt, weaknesses, and question your goals instead. They don't rise up to your standard, yet want to drag you down to an unGodly route only to see you fail. The right group of people will celebrate your success, and wish you well in everything you do, knowing that you work hard, and you deserve something good. The wrong group with seek every opportunity to hinder your success, and put blockages in your way for you to be challenged through the years. Some smile on your face, yet working behind the scenes to get any opportunity out of your journey through expressing negative views on your attitude, behavior, and identity. They love to isolate you and keep being around you to make sure that you are under control. Your idea becomes theirs, your goals become theirs, your traits become theirs and here your way of life becomes theirs yet you are not worthy. You will become like the golden egg for them to take away anything they can and leave you doubting yourself, isolated, and undermining any compliment that comes from others. You may not be related to or know each other closely, yet they are interested in everything you do, stalk you on social media, know your weaknesses to use them against you, and know your problems to increase them, they love to keep you struggling, and your energy is depleted. It is hard to be in an environment to be seen as a rival, it is not a Godly life, it is all Cain seeds in a world striving for competition and dissatisfaction. 

       

       Unfortunately, millions are vulnerable to such harmful environments when their life has completely shattered, and fallen into the trap of Cain's tribes of jealousy, competition, and dissatisfaction by seeking whatever they could manipulate to feel their strive for more through the exploitation of millions of vulnerable humans who want to have life and do something good with their life. Teaching about Cain's seeds is critical for our current times as the lesson hasn't been learned, and many fall into this trap, suffering for being good, and wanting to do good in their lives. They suffer the trap of wolves in sheep's clothing. it is hard to witness that Cain's seeds are more common, and spreading the pain into the world without mercy or being aware of the free blessing has been given freely from above. Teaching about wolves in sheep's clothing is critical for everyone who is not aware of their schemas, and the well-designed scenarios to get what they want. They understand that those who ever have a good spirit are too weak to fight or stand their ground, therefore, they are easy targets for every wolf in sheep's clothing, serving only their interests, don't care for others only when it will serve a goal in their agenda, their steps are calculated and they are far smart than you could ever think, charismatic, charming in their look, mimic humbleness when needed, and strike by surprise. We are living in times when many pretend to be humans, yet they are not humans they strive on Cain's seeds. Try to make self-check how your day goes when you are surrounded by certain group of people, are you left drained, fatigue, tired, confused, lack clarity, and down on yourself? These are all red flags require your attention that you want to acknowledge ask ask what could drive these attitudes all around, are they maladaptive intergenerational trauma where everyone around came from unstable, unhealthy interpersonal relationships affect how they relate or communicate to others? stress what causes the stress? lack of sleep, majority of the modern world suffer from sleep deprivation due to the work-life style. However, all these red flags if left unaddressed will affect health span overtime and leading humans to the vicious cycle of social diseases such as hypertension, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease including depression, anxiety, and paranoia  Peace!!! By: ME, "the old ancient woman." 

Despite all the contradictory and how it seems---- ---- --- Have faith & take courage

https://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images;_ylt=AwrhR3X4KmNno0YCDqxXNyoA;_ylu=Y29sbwNiZjEEcG

 Hello there, 

     The new year is almost there. Even if it is 365 days, many go through it without considering there are limited windows for change. Many dwell in the past without learning from it or allowing it to be where it belongs. As it is said, "the past is the past," which means it has already happened, and nothing can be done about it, or the clock or the time can be reversed to bring different outcomes other than what has already happened. Living in the past will freeze life, and maybe those who want to hold each other in place make the past their game for holding each other back by swelling in the past or what happened there, and it becomes a broken record that does not make any sense anymore while the nature of life is change. Nothing remains the same; thoughts, emotions, feelings, and actions bring a sense of contradiction to the light. Whoever wants to keep you captive to the past will keep repeating the same actions and words that remind you of the stage you were in the past to keep you captive, frozen when all the past flashes back and has power over you to repeat the same behaviors that hold you back from change and this is the codependency dynamics, narcissistic dynamic, and antagonist, agonistic paradigm when the past is the context in which someone will be held captive. 

     Unfortunately, the manipulator won't see the game taking place as it brings the desired outcomes to keep the other captive, prisoner to the past self where they haven't been validated or accepted in some way or form. They perceive everything as their fault, and they deserve where they are. Manipulators feed on this game of shame, guilt, and fear, belittling and ripping the confidence out of the victim or the naive self by allowing all types of psychological wounding to keep emerging, influencing the social-emotional state. As long as the naive self is unaware that what is happening is wrong and nothing of their fault, the game of manipulation leads to the breaking down of the person who depends on validation, acceptance, belonging, and getting fit in whatever dynamic brought into their life. It is a slow wipeout of human value, dignity, and integrity. Many artistic powers utilize manipulation techniques to maintain their status, power, and authority and gain out of the game. It will always be the weak side of the co-dependent personality at fault, and what happens to them is what they deserve, bringing this state of questioning their self-worth and why they have to go through all that they went through? 

     Unfortunately, the game of power and control is a choice. A celebrity has been selected to have dominance over anyone or anything that will feed the sense of control and grandiosity. It doesn't put a window of age, it is early childhood decision by imitating an adult model who control, and get what they want the way they want, even if they follow dark rituals to have influence on the other. It is a contract between the controller and the dark energies to maintain control and gain power over the other who feeds their energy. It heavily affects individuals, societies, and even nations, working with master teachers for dark rituals, taking even from the holy book,"The Jezebel Spirit." master teachers cause chaos and damage to whatever energies feed the hunger for power and authority over the other. Unfortunately, through ages, these teachers mastered their work by negatively impacting the lives of others. The question is,"if God exist, why HE allowed such demonic works to keep on going and harming human life, and their existence, and function?"

     Why there is no end to it? Why is their partnership successful? Why is bringing nothing but a contradiction between truth and faith? When the co-dependent realizes that they are under the influence of Jezebel Spirit, it shakes their trust in the world and whether they are surrounded by a friend or foe? There is no trust in anything or anyone. Nothing makes sense like before; the Jezebel spirit wants to have control over materialistic entities and the body, the flesh, the sexual lust or bring down the spirit, and the dignity of human beings. It is the demonic desire to see the other in pain, struggle, suffering, and even humiliation of their existence. It is the devil's contract as it is absorbed into the body and mind of Jezebel's spirit. The main goal is to have control over the body, separate people meant to be together and cause chaos in the life of the physical, beautiful, successful, wealthy, and rich entity or even a whole race, religion, or color.  Many gain millions of dollars in this trade, and unfortunately, GOD still sees it all; however, the works are deeply rooted in the rituals being done during the new moon and full moon when the control over the body takes place, yet GOD sees it all year after year, decade after decade, and brings this sense of contradiction, if GOD is good why HE is allowing these demonic works to take place and cause harm to human lives? And do we really live in a humanistic world, or is it controlled by JEZEBEL SPIRIT?...... Peace!!! By: ME, "the old ancient woman" 

Why context matter?

 

https://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images?p=Why+context+matter+images&fr=mcafee&type=E210U

     Hello, There. 

    Days pass by, and the world around us still changing dramatically even if it is hard to notice. Change occurs with the season, and regrouping occurs in the silence, the masking of surrendering. The uncertainty, ambiguity, and the camouflage of identities, the copycat behaviors, the provocative statements, and variation of postings, and images, and yet the change is inevitable. Many proclaim that the cold season makes people hibernate, and unmotivated, however, don't underestimate the quietness, and stillness of the wolf waiting for the moment to strike. The human-animal mammalian reptilian brain is the core driver of the behavior, and it is hard to faint. 

   

   My fascination with the mammalian reptilian brain started more than a decade ago, trying to grasp why? and how for better understanding it is the survival brain, competition brain, the in-group driver of behaviors, beliefs, attitudes, and recoup. The smoother the tone, the sharper the bite emotionally, and psychologically. In a competitive world rivalry, opponent, or opposition takes many shapes and forms, and here is why context matters? From the Ecological human model, context is critical in shaping the human beliefs, attitudes, and perceptions about the world they are supposed to belong to. Forming the first belief models about intrapersonal, and interpersonal relationships. However, in the world of hierarchy, individuals have to be shaped in specific order, liability, and usage. It is a complex dynamic controlled by socioeconomic, political, religious, environmental, family history, medical history, social class, demographic, and geographic factors specifically age, gender, race, and ethnicity. Complex algorithms may shape double-edged weapons either for good or not good. The algorithms are run by many sophisticated software or artificial intelligence models that are highly complex, not the ones offered to the public to provide basic information. It is a highly sophisticated algorithm. 

  

    The old nomadic, original, genuine model of human interaction and communication is not the model in high operative dynamics that looks for big figures and goals beyond what the average person could think about. Here, humans turn to a formula or algorithms to function according to the purpose of the grand goals based on the tribal algorithms. The likelihood of the context in which information is provided is critical to shaping human perception, choices, and decision-making. Therefore the altruistic approach is a mask for the real goal of motive to take place utilizing the right context to attain the goal. Hence, the goal is the main schema, not the person. The philosophical framework about deceit and perception is complex as it requires developing a high degree of observation of changes around you within the given context. Who is delivering the message, when and the medium used in delivering the message tell a lot of sensory input to the brain to process comparing it with previous programming and a change in perception occurs. The hardest point to fathom in human behavior is perception change and whether you are being lied to or deceived to bring specific outcomes or attain the goal. 

     Individuals with adverse life experiences (ALE), early childhood experiences (ACEs) coming from neglect, abuse, abandonment, violence, high rate crime, dark triad, socioeconomic status, and low level of education are highly susceptible to being used in these algorisms each according to the goal designed by the grand schema of socio-economic, political, religious, and demographic changes based on age, gender, race, and ethnicity. The modification within the ecological human model when presents perceptual outcomes, not truth or realities. Hence, do you think you have been in these situations or experienced a context to change your perception? if yes, was it a change for good, or were you left with the sense of shame and guilt that you are deceived which will break your confidence, self-esteem, and self-efficacy or autonomy that you are free? 

   Perceptual outcomes have no authentic relationships, true bonding, or empathy. They are behavioral models for temporary goal-attaining and task accomplishments. Those are come from trauma backgrounds and have this deeper longing to belong, be accepted, and be welcomed into a community. However, these are the contexts that are being used to attain goals away from their own being. They are left confused, questioning whether what they experienced is real, or whether they are being rejected over and over adding to their sense of shame, guilt, and fear when it can turn into the lowest point in their life to be victimized again through either another traumatized person who sought risky behaviors for adaptation or maladaptive behaviors including co-dependency from one relationship to the other including substance use, or controlled by dark triad to harm themselves or others, or being used by Alpha charismatic persona to be used as a tool toward the grandiose of plans to satisfy the ego, and sense of power and control infusing control and fear to drive the dopamine spike, and sense of superiority. The dynamic outcome one is exhausted and depleted, and the other is feeling the grandiosity and the dopamine spike in their muscles. The context resembles the trainer and the exotic animal to tame to get the sense of power and control, and dopamine spikes into their muscles which are their sense of pride the physical strength over the other by the end of each exercise, or experience. 

   However, you start to feel confused, question yourself, and your realities, feel depleted, and exhausted, and don't feel joy from the things you do, think about what contexts are provided to you throughout the day. Am I in a position of giving only, never been enough, or there are always defeating messages from the environment, groups around, lack of support, lack of empowerment, and development, being lost in the drama, anxiety, suppression of your emotions, offered unhealthy options, and choices, being trapped in vicious cycle of what happened to you, and your emotional symptoms turn into physical symptoms, congratulations your trauma is being used, and you are one of the algorisms in the grand schema of perceptual outcomes. Probably you are isolated, many stories are spread about you, and you walk from one hardship to another, congratulations you are a lab rat in the new grad schema of human algorisms especially when the alphas understand you are well caged, and they are in control and no way you will be set free as it is all mental game, and you are the only one who will be labeled, accused, and coded mentally ill and many other perceptual schemas will be used to confirm the hypothesis in a new world fake altruism with open experimentations on humans. 

     The true connection will leave you content, connected, with more serotonin and oxytocin, giving you a sense of purpose, and a well-lived life. You won't feel fear, shame, guilt, or low self-esteem when you experience true connection and authentic relationships. Reread how fake altruism makes you feel, and the opposite occurs with the true authentic relationship. They won't put you in hardships or laugh at you when you are tired or distressed. They won't label you or spread rumors or stories about you to put you in bondage, and caged in the perceptual outcomes. They wish you well in life, and support when needed, and you feel natural joy when you see each other even if you haven't seen each other for long, that is the true authentic connection and it is hard to find within the overwhelming of masking fake altruistic relationships. it is not too late to take inventory of the contexts you have experienced and exposed to, and filter the ones that sound healthy, authentic, and bring joy into your life, as you are consumed enough and that is against GOD's will. Whoever used or abused your trauma GOD is not in their mind or ever been in their lives they are so busy by control than GOD... Peace!!! by: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

 

Fighting the shadow self-------------

 

https://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images;_ylt=AwrFAJCUkEJnjwIA1IxXNyoA;_ylu=Y29sbwNiZjEEcG9zAzEEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3Nj?p=fighting+the+shadow+self

Hello, There, 

    

     It is me again, the time of reflection still going on. It is when humans can face to face with complex realities to accept. It is time to admit what had left; the wishes, dreams, hopes, and longing to exist never came to reality. Yet, why do humans have to walk this road of fighting with their shadow selves? The other version of you may not be the decent, welcoming one. The beast within is driven by the limbic, autonomic response, filled with anger and hatred, even to the self. It is a phase of the human-animal that keeps its survival mechanism to navigate the wilderness of the journey called life. What life you have been chasing and allowed the space and the seeds of anger, frustration, and hatred to self grow year after year, programming the body action like a wild wandering beast within the wilderness where there is no peace or even a meaning of life. It is an exhausting and undesirable outcome of fighting the shadow self. The projected anger and frustration reflect self-rejection while trying to assume it is someone else. What type of life made you the version of a restless mind chasing the shadows, getting nothing but tiredness and loss of life. 

   

    Navigating through the world of lost chances or lost self within the shadow overwhelms the way of thinking, doing, and behaving; it is the world of undesirable life outcomes. Fighting with the shadow of self-made you far from yourself and even feeling the sense of life within. It is a wasteful energy to waste life on chasing, racing, and fighting the shadow self within anything or anyone that brings the sense of regret, guilt, and sadness of the lost self through phases of wishing, dreaming, and hoping that something will change. However, you are fighting a lost battle, allowing the seep of sickness to find its way through your ignored life and loading your mind and body with undesirable outcomes within something called life. Inviting unhealthy seeds to accumulate through the days, years, and even nights where you lose the sense of self. Why did all this about, or did the desire to bring the same unto others become an obsession that generically comes through each breath you take. I am sorry you got it all wrong; you allowed seeds of doubt, neglect, and sadness to seep through your beliefs, letting you forget everything about the sun and its phases, yet never lost its essence of being the source of warmth, light, and joy even in a rainy day. The wonders of life, the air, sun, and light, walk through every breath you take and provide hope after the night. I am sorry that you deny all these blessings and hold onto limited desires that won't be the same every day, won't exist through the ups and downs, and only for those who can afford them. Life turned out to be like a commodity that expires with the season it is made in. 

       Even as I grow older, I still wonder why humans persist in losing themselves? Why easily give up on the free gift of life? Why do they hate? Why do they fight? Witnessing both kingdoms of humans and animals, the wild beast in the human still shows up to exhaust everyone and everything around. I no longer care when I see it as an easy waste of life. I will not shout out loud every time I witness the fight of the shadow self taking away any chance of a peaceful life. Life comes with a huge responsibility toward ourselves and others, yet the human beast made enough harm to become a game of life. Fighting the shadow self won't get anything but exhaustion and missing out on life. Many are so smart yet can't see themselves. Others see them yet allow the beast to destroy, harm, and hurt whoever they encounter.

I don't care what language you speak, color, race, ethnicity, or social status unless we understand the value of life. The human-human hasn't existed yet.  Hence, the law that rules the animal kingdom will be ok in the human-animal world. Hence, nothing is guaranteed, safe, or can be trusted. In each of us, there's the part that reflects the shadow self, which can be uncontrollable with pressure, stress, comparison self-rejection, or self-hate. Here, it is up to you to look within to understand which side of the shadow self you want to tame and bring the higher order of thinking when life challenges are meant to make you strong and show you a better you who can do wonderful things. Looking to own the whole world quickly at any cost will eventually cost you yourself. 

    Many are blessed and can't see their blessings; many are surrounded by care, love, and attention and can't see it or take it for granted, allowing the shadow self to control every aspect of their mind, life, and how they see the world. Many have abilities and do not want to grow or use them for good. Many are gifted with the life that many wish to have, yet undermine whatever they have by seeking wasteful habits, relationships, and behaviors that alienate them from themselves. Your shadow self is lying to you, taking you on the road of many regrets when there is no time to undo what has been done. Human thinking, false beliefs, and perceptions can contribute to many undesirable life outcomes. Each day is an opportunity to understand why you allow your shadow self to take more space in your life and waste it in nothing but exhausted trails of nothingness. All bad energies are loud voices of the shadow self.....acknowledge and invite the better version of you to tame the beast that takes nothing but wasting lives. Peace!!!! BY: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

Abandonment--- self- abandonment.... co-dependency and the attachment style in association with Early life adversity

 

https://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images?p=self+abondement+images&fr=mcafee&type=E210US143

    Hello, There, 

          How far have you been in the time of reflection, recalling events, memories, and incidents that shaped your moment perception of the world around you? Let's return to the moments of learning and realizing early life events when the child within hasn't felt being seen, heard, or attuned to. The inner child wonders what fault you have done? How many times was your voice suppressed and ignored? How often have you tried to please others, adult, young, or in between, to feel seen and heard or to please them due to fear, intimidation, or the cold shoulders you get, raising the sense of early life abandonment? You learned your voice doesn't matter, your emotions and feelings don't matter, and everything has to be about that other than you gradually groomed into self-abandonment, ignoring the inner piece of yourself and who you once felt are you, no one else. You started pretending, saying yes when you should say no, accepting the dysfunction, and allowing your boundaries to be pushed away. 

         The development of disorganized boundaries, non-rigid boundaries, and seeking survival increase the psychological burden of promoting diseases as you walk through life seeking survival, pleasing others, suppressing how you feel, how you want things to be, and denying your wishes and dreams, shadowing the absence other, and gradually you become absent too. Many people haven't grown up in a family aware of healthy relationships, healthy boundaries, respect for the other, and self-respect. They grew up repeating the same unhealthy patterns of abandoning themselves for the sake of pleasing others and survival mode. Many women fall prey to this pattern of disoriented cultural, socioeconomic, and ethical structures as the social norm activating their gene predisposition to disease and having a high prevalence in many chronic illnesses as if women and girls are predisposed to self-abandonment when society denies their voice, emotions, feelings, wished and dreams. Some say it is not only the interpersonal toxic load. There are many other factors associated with the prevalence of the disease. I responded YES, foods, air pollution, medications, lead, mercury, fluoride, contraception bills, injuries, low-grade inflammation, sleep, age, gender, zip code, socioeconomic status, lifestyle, substance use, tobacco, smoking, alcohol, and many other factors in interactions with the environment and changes in cell function, and never underestimate self-abandonment, trauma, stress, and ignoring the self either due to fear, intimidation, limitations, isolation, and unhealthy relations dynamics at all levels internal and external. When women and girls deny who they are and allow the world to shape them. At the same time, their emotional well-being is manipulated, abused, and misused; we are facing a social justice phenomenon that run through cultures and socioeconomic, political, and religious classes for decades. 

     

     When you realize that emotional well-being has never been part of social awareness, we go back to the human nature of controlling human beings and suppressing their emotional well-being, leading to chronic illness and more and more self-abandonment. It is never too late for girls and young women to educate themselves on emotional well-being and its effect on the cellular level. And how you should start with trusted resources and not fall again into the trap of emotional manipulation. Unfortunately, for centuries, women and girls have been the primary targets of societal agenda through emotional manipulation to be used and abused. Many lost their existence in the world, lost their respect and identity, and contributed to self-abandonment. While some chose to be the manipulators and make up for their early abandonment to suppress others even if they are the same gender, they learned the controller and the abuser game. Hence, the mixed perception made the truth complex: who is the abused, and who is the controller? It becomes vague and unclear what is what and how to differentiate. However, if it doesn't feel right? It is not right. If it doesn't feel authentic, it is not authentic. If it causes stress and discomfort, it is unsafe to be.

     

     The toxic inherited load over centuries shaped communities, institutions, and individuals. It is deeply rooted in many cultures, socioeconomic classes, and group dynamics. The animal, reptilian, and mammalian brains require decades to unwind, rewire, and reconsider what is healthy when everything unhealthy makes humans sick. We live in an age when unhealthy behaviors and relationships are the norm, and that is unsafe, leading to more self-abandonment. It takes courage for humans to stop this unhealthy self-abandonment dynamic and rewind and rewire healthy patterns, habits, and mindsets. It takes courage to understand that human life is precious in GOD's eyes and everything good is from GOD---- Peace!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

The periodic conflict with the self

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 Hello There, 

  It is a good time to continue to reflect. As the year comes to a close and a new one is approaching, I wonder if humans will keep ruminating about the old past, keep repeating the same pattern of inner conflict within the self, and projecting the world around them, losing their sense of life and their existance. Patterns keep repeating themselves; welcome to the world of default mode network, feeling comfortable with repeating the same pattern of rumination and crying over the spilled milk, or nothing is going to change, the negative thinking embedded from ancestral trauma and the fear response, the high active insula cortex, anterior cingulate cortex, amygdala, medial prefrontal cortex, the pons, the medulla oblongata among others for the threat, arousal response increasing the sympathetic response, fight-flight-freeze. It is already built within all mammals for survival. However, life experiences, interpersonal relationships, and inner and outside conflicts heightened the threat response over time to become neuroadaptive, automatically occurring once the brain's computational highspeed process compares the stimuli with old patterns embedded in the basal ganglia, hippocampus and occipital lobe, olfactory system,  and the transduction in the skin your one of the major brains in your biological systems. You function in the world; hyperarousal is the normal response, and the body survives on alerts  24/7, gradually compromising human health. 

    The heightened threat response developed with early adverse life events, including trauma, abuse, maltreatment, witnessing domestic violence, unhealthy relationships, discrimination, segregation, exclusion, and all other negative actions that compromise the human perception of the world around them. They perceive the world as unsafe; they don't belong, and no one wants them. This is happening to them because they deserve it and are bad, false beliefs". As humans, families, communities, and societies use maladaptive behavior as the norm, everyone around will perceive it as normal. The abusive pattern continues, getting unnoticed and leading to more maladaptive behaviors and mental conflicts within the vulnerable ones that shape 20% of any community, taking into account that humans inherited the survival mechanisms from ancestors and developed into a complex trauma response over time with repeated abusive pattern from humans to humans regardless their age or status. 

    Unfortunately, the internal maladaptive patterns of interpersonal relationship dynamics expand to work, communities projecting the unresolved or self-hate unto others who may seem they got it right while they are not. Some are good at masking their own trauma as if they got it all together within hidden turmoil of shame, fear, and guilt. Some do not know how to keep unhealthy ways with their fear, guilt, and shame. They seek numbness through whatever is around them, thinking they will escape this state of shame, and guild with increased internal pain, which gradually changes the neurophysiology and how the cell function and their biological systems become a fertile land for all the unwanted cytokines, chemokines, and complement cascade. Human brains are wired differently. Some get rewarded by helping others and doing something good, some seek tangible incentives to feel good about themselves, and some feel good when they hurt, harm, abuse, cause pain, or struggle in others' lives. And we can not know which brain is in front of us. However, there are red flags to watch when there is interpersonal communication, relationship, or collaboration with a dysfunctional dynamic. First, when they deny acknowledging how you feel or want to express your voice. When they groom you until they get what they want, they give you the silent treatment. They make you feel bad about yourself and what you do. They like your co-dependency and limit your freedom of choice or decision-making. They ridicule your sense of self, independence, and how you think. Portray the image among others that you are not mentally ok, and they are worried about you. They love to put you down, belittle, gaslight, and ignore your boundaries. They grow up in a dysfunctional dynamic; therefore, they don't see it as dysfunctional, and it gives them power and control over the target or the vulnerable one. They see themselves as the smartest person on earth as they normally get what they want. They love to intimidate you alone and humiliate you in public when it is safe for them to do so. They like to corner you. You feel helpless and intimidated; no one can believe you if you speak up. When you speak up, they plan their attack when you are alone; they deplete your resources, ensuring your codependency will continue. They are not happy when you are happy. They are not happy with any accomplishment you do. You will never be enough, and you will never measure up. They don't like you to succeed; they love your challenges and struggles as that is their reward or drive for happiness. Hurt people hurt people. I repeat it: hurt people hurt people unless someone understands the red flags and starts learning their value in GOD. Unfortunately, maltreatment, abuse, and unhealthy relationships leave their permanent markers on the neurophysiology at an early age; unspecified injuries change the function and structure of the brain, the world perception, and the sense of self-acting from the threat response "the world is a not safe place to be." 

    The psychosocial, socioeconomic, emotional, and maladaptive behaviors are collective injuries caused by humans toward humans, forgetting the right to live in freedom and choose who you want to be. The modern world has turned to an open sanctuary arena for self-imprisonment in the vicious cycle of maladaptive patterns, with the inability to acknowledge, address, and heal the inner self. The vulnerable will continue to be the victims as they don't have a sense of self, are controlled by co-dependency, and inability to learn how to value themselves. Modern life slavery of abandonment, neglect, control, and manipulation of resources and humans. Life is tough, and it gets tougher when those we should trust and feel safe around don't happen anymore in most situations. Accumulating a toxic load of relationships, dynamics, and functions leads to diseases that become the norm of modern society, ignoring the value of human existence and the right to live with respect and dignity. It becomes a toxic load that hinders the presence of hope to spread around. We must acknowledge human life without labels, affiliations to specific groups of beliefs, or ways of life. It becomes a personal responsibility if the person wants to believe that GOD is for them, that He will never forsake them, and that His promises are true. His promises never fail. The captivity of humans to humans is nothing but a dysfunctional dynamic left ignored for decades. The malfunction in human life is built upon the survival mode of our ancestors, and we had it as part of our human life inheritance, yet you have the right to reject it and start a whole new inheritance in partnership with GOD, for He is good. He is faithful, and He will never leave you or forsake you. He is the greatest thinker, engineer, scientist, and all the world is His own.. Try to see your value in His gracious, loving, kind eyes... Peace!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

Blissful Living.... the walk and realization of inner core of living

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     Witnessing the changes in life around you, you remember the smile of a child, the shout of adolescence, the running of a youthful life through the open nature, creating the sense of owning a million lives, a realization of the beauty naturally created within the drops of water, the running streams of pure water, the growing greens in the valleys and they shape a tapestry like no other, the sensation of the endless beauty of the natural world, all you want to do is to connect to the natural world around, forgetting all the chaos, and the conflicting message keeps throwing the shadow of the human suffering. That is not my world, where many things do not create life. The senseless judgments, the endless nonsense within the conflicting messages, and you do not want any more of that that takes away the beauty freely created from heaven, the inner voice of wonderful rhythm, the shout of a blissful living within the inner rhythms within, and anything do not align, you have to turn around, no place or room for more conflicting, chaotic messages and moving away from the natural beauty freely given from heaven. The mind creates lovely, blissful worlds within a world that refuses to listen to the rhythms of life; everything occurs, attuning to the rhythms of the heavenly voice. Gradually, you feel and hear what is not welcomed in the blissful world. You become so much aware of the disharmony within the tuning in GOD's greatest gift to see through humans and understand the limitations of their minds. 

     You see a different world no one else can see, you understand messages no one else can fathom as you work with the synchronicity of endless blissful living, drawing worlds of beauty no one else can see. A blissful life is happy with the simplest joy in the world, the breeze of fresh water, the sun's rays, the chirping of birds, and the running water of heavenly streams; what else can be blissful than a sense of oneness with GOD. There is a constant prayer in His creation, a constant holy hymn. Nothing else can attract the mind within the conflicting, chaotic world. The chanting nature of holy words and the heavenly voices rejecting all that does not belong to blissful living. Breaking free from a chaotic, conflicting world can happen when you believe you have to stand your ground. You must know your value; you must resist all the waves trying to put you down, control, and block your way to life. You have to stand your ground. You have to walk the walk of a blissful life. It is not an easy way where everyone wants the best for one another, but the opposite waves try to put you down. You can see, hear, and understand it, yet holding on to GOD's promises is all you have. 

       The blissful life is your right; GOD has put it within your soul. No matter what, fear not, for He is with you. Listening to His endless calling to stand your ground, chaos, and conflict are here to teach you lessons about what is valued, what is important, and what is essential with a synchronized blissful life. No matter the heavy waves that come your way know that GOD is greater than any other. He is assuring you to keep moving in His light, for He is worthy, and He is able like no other to guide you through no matter the chaos and conflict around you, so do not hold on to the world's bitterness and embrace His bliss and protection over your life. Peace!!! By: ME," The old ancient woman." 

Stillness..... despite the noise......

 

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       When the noise becomes overwhelming, and the deception of modern life continues to play an old scenario and never realize that it repeats itself, stillness is the action that has to take place. When opposition and accumulated waves of unwanted scenarios occur, stillness is the action that has to take place. Wherever you live, work, or relate, if it doesn't care for your being, stillness is the action that has to take place. When the land has been given freely from GOD to dwell, is being abused, and humans are denied the right to life with dignity and integrity, stillness is the action that has to take place. Taking life for granted and people for granted is the evolution of the absence of fairness, justice, and reliance on temporary gains, ignoring human value and existence in a world that seeks ongoing conflicting scenarios to exist. There is no peace in life like that. The days when peace, safety, and walking around the world with a sense of security and stability come to a shaky time when ambiguity reigns the common sense. Displaying images and schemas that are far away from the truth. Images are only images. Fakeness surmounts the truth of having a safe life within a world full of contradicting messages and separation from the self, which are the core beliefs of one nation under GOD. The actual human is lost within an unfair equation of existence. If the person plays by the rules, there is no guarantee of having a life of dignity and integrity. There will be sizing up at each step of the way; humans are not seen as humans anymore. Disruption in everything used to be once familiar. 

         Installing the sense of an unsafe world to exist. Looking from the outside, watching conflicting messages, words, and images, unable to understand all this. It is exhausting to think about. Therefore, stillness is the action that has to take place. Forcing humans to think in a specific way to be accepted or included. Avoiding the hard conversations and pushing everyone in the way they relate. Isolation, fear, and lack of safety are the goals of the world that strive for conflict, confusion, and isolating those who seek a life that nurtures their soul and honors GOD at each step of the way. When isolation becomes a designed strategy, stillness is the action that has to take place. Humans become a rat lab in a natural setting. Are we any more humans, or are we returning to the animal world where survival of the fittest and natural selection are the core of modern life? 

      

      Despite the advances in technology, medicine, knowledge, and the world of artificial intelligence, humans are using them to do their natural setting experiments against the existence of those who present unwanted formulas within the grand equation of selection and survival of the fittest. Can many adults think without judgment, labeling, and isolation? Can many walk freely in life without putting rules that will break them down? Can many adults believe that if they take responsibility for their lives, they will be honored and respected without mocking and ridiculing them? We live in a world where dysfunction is the norm, and human life is in question; why have we reached this state of isolation and segregation in the artificial world. The fear is overwhelming, and lack of safety becomes the norm. Harming others left unnoticed and ignoring all the blessings given freely from GOD. When everything is overwhelming, stillness is the action that must occur. When safety is a question, stillness is the action that must occur. When nothing makes sense, stillness is the action that has to take place. As we approach another year, humans must ask themselves why they are here on Earth? Who do you seek or pursue to have an authentic life? Will conflict, chaos, and ambiguity be your goal? So, that is not the world GOD has made from the beginning. I am exhausted of the fakeness and exhausted of hoping that the world will change, as there is a question now that has to be answered about what humans mean. And why are they here on Earth? I started to question everything and wondered when fakeness reigns? Do humans truly exist, or do other concepts of living exist? 

    When the morning comes, I ask myself what it means to be a human? And what are they supposed to do in a life freely given by GOD? What is the most appropriate action in times of chaos, conflict, unrest, and ambiguity? The only word that came to my mind is stillness, like a breeze of refreshing air, reminding me of the presence of GOD and that He will always be there for me. Peace!!!!

As the spirals differentiate...... the perception of the time and space present new horizons

 

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  Each child's existence on earth was once a moment of two adults, and this moment is determinantal to last many years once the child exists in the world. Some came as a lust for a lavish life, some as a normal design of society, some by accident, and others intentionally. While intentionality has its own spiral as well, some come to be used as a tool of living, some come as revenge for being on their own, others come for having life around two first who intentionally want to have life together and understand what life means for themselves and to the children they love to bring to life, and these are the scarcity of modern life. As I grow older, life becomes something different from what I thought I knew, was taught, or experienced. Walking the path of rough pathways, witnessing the calamity of humanity losing the essence of what life means, what a human means, and what being alive means. From the dysfunctional of the roots to more complex relationships and structuring damaging life, where understanding the value of self was lost within the spiral of doing like millions are doing, behaving like everyone behaving, pretending so you can survive, do what they ask you do or the punishment will follow, the life of fear, expectations, and self-denial dissolving within the spiral of delusional thoughts, dreams, and perception of what may sound or seem as a reality forgetting the core of yourself, and gradually falling under the influence of every wave comes your way. 

      Dysfunctional becomes the norm; healthy is a foreign word. Saying yes to humiliation and abuse or punishment will follow. The reptilian brain takes over each action, decision, or step in the animal brain. It is tiring when humans forget to dissolve within the dysfunction and harm. A lot of questions on the way of the wilderness of life, primarily girls and women, fall short of the abuse of the world to their existence, body, and soul, and influencing how they think, act, behave, and relate. It is sad to see how adults play a critical role in the lives of the young; whatever is perceived as the norm will be repeated and expand into good, bad, or ugly. It is interesting to understand that even if a child has a certain predisposition for the bad, the environment plays a critical role in suppressing these bad characteristics or traits or facilitating their manifestation. Suppressing the voice of the choice of what you want and honoring that whatever has been planted across the way finds its way through adulthood won't give you any chance to act upon what has been lost. The moment the child feels abandonment, disassociation, avoidance, and detachment, it changes the world around them. 

     As I grow older, I understand what I allow to happen and that life mainly does not reflect my true self, sticking in the cycle that dysfunction is the norm. What has been planted from generation to generation without giving yourself a chance to think, is this what I want? If the overwhelming state of fear that when you choose what is best for you, you will be punished, and here shrinking, alienation, and maladaptive behaviors become the norm, follow each choice a human will make and influences the damage that takes place, and it is hard to replace. Even societies rarely consider that change could occur. In boxing humans in the same pathway that harmed them and repeating patterns of dysfunctional spiral events of daily life, the perception of time and space brings the human to the moment of fear, punishment, and denying themselves to meet the expectation of whatever control the moment, moments of unease, and discomfort. Moments of hardships, taking a breath, and all the escape toward everything can numb this overwhelming state, being stuck, not finding a way out, and going into void spirals within the fear and the dysfunctional norm. 

      When the dysfunctional perception about life and the world, everything the human is attracted to is dysfunctional, increasing the spiral of harm and loss of life, as the human forgets they are humans or even they have the right to be human controlled by the desires, the flesh, and how everything looks like from the outside, the delusion and the bait of the world and ignoring to make a reality check. As dysfunction is the norm, it is easy to deceive and play around without honoring human life. It is sad to witness the oppression of adults to adults and children who have no fault in the dysfunctional world around them. It is a choice to reverse the cycle, and few are intentionally dedicating their lives to reverse the dysfunction; however, the work is hard, and it is only their responsibility to make a choice or keep going through the spiral of deceit and oppression of the voice, the being, the right of life. 

     The older I get, the more I understand how the choice can be the point of turning around or turning toward the same dysfunctional life that misshaped their realities, distorted their identity, separated the self from what they have to accept and dwell in fear of constant punishment, stress, control, and lack of choice, there is no way out, breathing tightly and walking with a burden of nonexistence, and have no right. This brokenness alienates humans away from life. It is not a good place to dwell in or be misshaped by it; it takes decades of life, where few escape the cage of human suppression of others' voices. To every child misshaped by the dysfunctional life of adults, I apologize. I hope you will one day be able to stand up for yourself and declare your right to have a life of your choice. Don't expect the dysfunctional life will ever change, it is a loop feeds on other dysfunction, It is up to you to understand that unhealthy dynamic, and saying a loud NO for keeping yourself in a spiral will never change. Find your inner voice, and never undermine the small steps you take toward a healthy life and your chosen life. Peace!!!, By: Me, "The old ancient woman." 

Undecided..... Confused...... and the Perception of the world around

 

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         Hello there; it is the time of the year for more self-reflection and re-evaluation. Have you given yourself permission to do so? Or are you still distracted by the input from the world around you that primarily doesn't represent you or relate, or do you have to take it in? How many thought that they could understand everything and everyone around them, yet years prove something totally different when layers of onions peeled year after year, and you may grow older and older when returning to the point of security, safety, and trust once was. I call it the stage of purity and being surrounded by those who care about your being and are happy to have you as part of their life, or you walk in a community where you feel the sense of bliss and joy that gradually this sense has been taken away. Perception and reality collapse through experiences, and a pattern is shaped as you walk in life, thinking that you are part of the world around you and that you are all the same. You had the perception that the world around you is what it seems, sounds, says, feels, and perceives. You remember one day you were able to be yourself and walk with confidence that you can be. Yet, this world was protective and structured where once you grow as a child. Teen, and going to college for the first time. Your classmates were what they say and live, and you shaped some conditioned perceptions of what it means to be a boy or a girl. However, you have an open mind for the world around you. Creating ideas and things and enjoying the process of creating new things that were once you when it mostly wasn't known or existed till you made a form to it. That was once you. 

       The joy to see a new world, a positively changing world. However, the adult world differs from this naive, pure filter of the world and its meaning. Adults have a different perception of the world as they understand the power of grouping and alignment with what provides the chance to attain their goals regardless of how, when, who, and what can occur in between. It is not milestones anymore, blocks of development, the joy of curiosity and discovery. Finally, you realize other determinants in the adult world based on where you are, who you surround yourself with, socioeconomic class, political, religious affiliation, and racial advantage. Interesting, isn't it. The pattern gets more interesting with gender, age, sex, language, culture, and ethnicity. Also, it is tight within the same sociocultural groups and gender parameters when the first perception contradicts current experiences, and humans love to shape familiarity with situations, people, and places to access directly when needed heuristically. Many adults think they got it right. They are the winners, and we go further down the road; a collapse between the heuristic knowledge and newly presented, unfamiliar information or scenario occurs. The world, for the first time, looks unfamiliar and brings confusion, questions, stress, anxiety, and even anger. Let me repeat the last word, "ANGER," with capital letters as something more interesting occurs. 

       It is based on how the person used to experience their anger, where they are, who they are surrounded with, the function of anger, and the purpose sought at that time or even brewing for a long time. The behavior manifests, bringing all negative trapped thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions, with all the categories defining the world around them: gender, sex, age, race, etc. The behavior reflects these heuristic patterns to get frustration and unwanted emotions or cause harmful effects on those who happened to be in place and who have never been in the first negative or bottled anger shape. Yet they represent the opposition group, unwelcomed group, or targeted group. In adult age reflexive behaviors, a person, one person, represents the culture, background, country, socioeconomic class, gender, race, sex, and color, and this only one person is punished on behalf of who they once happened to be part of this sector of representation of the population. The pure, naive image of the world suddenly has gone from the present world. It turned to the adult formula about the world and life, where they are, who they are surrounded with, and defined inner-group agendas, ignoring the choice of individuals who only live seeking to do good in the world, keeping the pure picture, curious about making positive change and are surprised they are judged by their background, the country they came from, and find themselves in scenarios are foreigners from what they belief, or perceive. 

             Confusion in adult life results in an undecided and unwillingness to put effort into anything, as the equation of human life was deleted based on the chaos the world is going through year after year, forgetting GOD in the image. When you are in a state of confusion and uncertainty, give yourself the permission to be undecided and unwilling to engage or respond to anything around you that carries terrible intentions toward the human being. It is a sign of self-respect to be undecided. When realities, perceptions, beliefs, and real intentions contradict one another, stay neutral and undecided and give yourself a chance to process all these chaotic messages that keep sending their way unto you. Remember, everything that comes from GOD is good; only humans harm humans. When you lack sincerity in words, actions, or perceptions, give yourself permission to stay neutral as you deserve GOD's lovingkindness. When actions are meant nothing but to belittle you, remember who is greater than the whole world.

      We live in challenging times; wars never end, human greed never stops, and the value of humans is still in question. It is never about the land that GOD once gave freely to subdue and prosper; it is more about who is in and who is out. It is never about inclusion; that won't be the reality of lives for more than seven thousand years. It is about selection and seclusion. Groups rise, and groups go down, and change is the dynamic parameter in human life. It is becoming clear that humans will remain in conflict battles and not see GOD's creation in others or live and let live; many will remain in their resettlement, unrest, conflicting mind and soul as long as it serves a goal and an intention they want to achieve. We come to an age where peace is a foreign word; living and letting live is another struggle. Whether neutral or not, remember you are being perceived by the people you came from. The theory of individualism does not exist anymore. Give a chance to reflect, re-evaluate, and rethink what the value of life is, how you honor God in this creation as HE created man in HIS image, what this means to you, and be courageous enough to invite HIM to be your guidance and protector in a chaotic life, and remember GOD is good. Peace!!!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

It is time to reset your mind..... reflect, rethink and re-evaluate. It is worth it

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         It is the season to reflect, re-evaluate, and re-think how the months and days of the year allowed us to experience. Is there something new, or did your year go through the same old you? Have you seen yourself growing older, and you have left way long years behind. Some were good, some were shaky, and others in between, like dancing on the stairs, one step forward, ten steps back. That's life. However, there are moments that we hope to relive and make different choices. It is said that childhood trauma is a neurological injury that sets your systems on the fight-flight-freeze, fawn response. It shapes a pattern of shaky relationships, many has taught us hard lessons, yet we go back to wishful state, with hopes and dreams thinking that by changing places faces something is different, forgetting the real thing that is you. Places, times, and faces may trigger an old pattern that disrupts the biological systems running on the fight-flight-freeze and fawn response. Thinking that your trauma is known only by you, thinking that it is your load, you have to carry it through. You think as you grow older, everything will faint and become a turning sheet to write a new one of your own that only fits with you, not taking others' stories with you. 

     Your immersion in your story means that you become unaware of the places, time, and faces that will seize the opportunity and misuse your trauma to shake your grounds and write a different story from the one you once thought you had the right to do. You missed the point that some strive on others' wounds, pain, and aches and manipulate the situations to get what they want only because your trauma feeds their pride and ego, and they strive for more. You open your life to waves of ups and downs, like racing in the shaky valley without guidance or understanding what all this is about. Once you think you can dream and make your dream come true, you are unaware that your dream will be taken away and become someone else's reality. You are kept in the corner of nowhere as you are an easy target, and you are nobody, no one cares about your dream, or you don't have the right to have one as if you are fading into nowhere, no faith, no belief. It is a tough place, the hardest place for anyone to ever be. 

       

     Growing older allows you to see more than you can ever imagine. You can see the same games of delusion, the same manipulation at different times, and different faces, yet the pattern is the same. Your dreams, hopes, and wishes are someone else's reality. And walking the route a million times, different places, times, and faces, yet the pattern is the same, and you become the audience to watch everything flee in the space of nowhere. The delusion of having a world that believes in your dream and makes it your own without the fear it will be taken away again and again. The pain and the separation from the world is the way to go without voice, without the desire to keep pursuing what you thought once was yours. The flow of ideas, actions, and conversations without a meaning or purpose to catch. It is a tough place to remain in it for a long time. However, it wasn't your choice. The trauma drove the schema, the scenarios, and the gain of who wants to win, and the other is always a winner who makes others' dreams theirs, and no one cares. It is life when trauma is misused and abused, ignoring the human in you and making an object out of you, like the dry waters in a shallow lake thinking that there was water one day, dwelling on this past image, forgetting the present as it makes you remember your pain. 

  

     Be aware that taking you out of your dreams and hopes is the only game everyone wants; you played a role in this as you haven't believed that you have a right to think, dream, and pursue your dreams as GOD's creation and will for you. It is you who gave up on yourself, allowing everything around you to control you and keep you in a corner of the unknown. Not everyone wishes you well or wants the best for your life. Life is a battlefield where plants and weeds have to fight battles without a specific goal when chaos, struggle, and walking on shaky grounds become the norm. Things happen, yet you are the only one who has to wake up and understand that once you give a chance for your dreams to be others' reality, you give up on yourself, so don't blame anyone but yourself. You put yourself down and ignored to true self, you neglected your value and your right to make your dream come true, do not expect everyone will push you toward your dream. It is only you who has to take responsibility and walk it through. Maybe it is a wake-up call to see GOD's creation within you. Maybe it is time to silence all the attempts to take everything out of you and leave you void and trapped in the unknown. Maybe it is a wake-up call to understand that rules are made to make some reign and others prisoners in a world that once thought stands for the free. To break your mind chains, alleviate your pain, don't wait on anyone to do it for you, take your responsibility and trust GOD in the unknown, keep moving, keep walking, and it is time to reset your mind on GOD's creation within you. HE knows you more than anyone else as HE made you the way you are, your are not your trauma, your are not what happened to you, you are you, simple as that. Put down all the burdens you carried through the years, and know that whoever wounded you, they were wounded first. Hurt people hurt people, yet healed people heal people as they know it is worth it. Opening your mind to GOD's healing and care for you is a blessing. He made you the way you are, so once again, it is time to reset your mind and let the healing begin. Peace!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

Stories Untold, and the space between

 

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     One day, she looked at the world from a joyful place where all the good was around. Something was installed in her that keeps showing up in all the chapters of her life. She thought trust could easily exist and everything was exactly as it was. It was a fairy tale that only lived within her mind. Her smile, love for the world, and life were not something she could ever think would bring her to the darkest routs, trials, and tribulations, pushing her for who she is, and challenges and struggles start to roll through her life. The shock was heavy as every time she forgot, the challenges brought her to the place of punishment and happiness to see her struggle and doing nothing but going from one valley to another valley with all the scars leaving their print on her life. Trying to stand still, the reality brought her to the repeated scenario of running for over a decade. Only how she looks, talks, and does life does not please hundreds around. 

     Once, she thought there was something called freedom and that she had a right to have a life. Yet, there are hundreds whom she had no idea about their lives making the decisions of how her life has to be, and she found herself like a shadow, moving without a life inside. She became a shadow in the peaks of racial hate and trials. The thing she tried to bring to life is the same thing that used to break her down. She allowed many to step over her life without doing anything. Decades and years passed, and the moment when she was shattered, she came to meet herself in the dark shadow of human hate, jealousy, and betrayal of her life. Her scars are not enough, her challenges are not enough, and her slight thought of freedom is not her right. Finally, realizing that we are still in the world of slavery within different colors and backgrounds. Life is like a shadow in her mind; nothing is real or true, and the main thing is to keep walking in the shadow. The trials are meaningless as they reflect the weakness of the human flesh; if they can't control and own the life of someone, bring tribulations into their life so they will live in the shadow of life, afraid to speak or be seen as they are sure their presence is not pleasant for somebody. 

   She became afraid that her smile would trigger another peak of jealousy around her and the deliberate trials to bring her down. She realized there is nothing called human or respect for human life. She realized that as a woman, it has allowed many weak souls to tear her down and leave nothing but questioning: do we truly believe in the presence of God? Do we see humans in HIS image? Or do you see the human in me as an opportunity to take advantage of and break me down? The question is why some women are destined for hate from others and make their lives like a nightmare while others can have a normal life? Are we created to have a voice despite age, gender, race, culture, beliefs, language, ethnicity, sociopolitical, or socioeconomic status? Can we find a world where we can be without fear that someone at the corner somewhere keeping an eye on us to isolate and break us down? Many things don't make sense when life becomes a thing that has no taste or meaning. It is useless to think about, and we blame others for being in a complicated space, ignoring that we live in a world where freedom is a foreign word. Other terminologies took place where taking away the dreams of others is beneficial for some, as it allows them to enjoy the labor of those who believed once there was freedom in this world. It is another lesson to learn the realities around us. It is tough to believe or trust anything. Bringing struggle into the lives of those you can not control is your optimal joy. And that is not from GOD. Man-made laws and rules to bring struggle into humanity are not from GOD. She walks in a world where nothing can be believed. She walks on the thorny, unknown surface, trying to figure it out. There are many voices and silences, many stories untold, and many shared struggles that are kept inside the fears projected in life. What is true and what is not is a question left to the days that requested her to move on and know that there is GOD. Peace!!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

The separation among worlds, and the SELF...

 

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     Within a highly polarized tribal world, humans become driven by the state of separation and denial of the self at a deep level of dichotomy and multi-dichotomy as the pieces do not click together. The overwhelming race among social classes and the floating promises with so many conflicting voices. It is the state of running history in reverse. Maybe how people wear, live, or consume is up-to-date, yet the crisis is the same. The conflicting state of safety and sense of being become a foreign ideology in an unsure state of conflicting voices and promises where the true individual is still struggling to figure things out or reach a state of stability that gives respect to the creation within.  Does history repeat itself, and the restless state of living is running the universe, children are being traumatized, women are trying to find their tribe to survive while the man who is supposed to secure life is running the show of distraction, conflict, and striving in isolated islands. The state of depleting the human soul with hopelessness, helplessness, and negative messages 42/7. 

     It is a global war on the human mind when peace has no place within the grand scheme of delusion and lack of truth. It is exhausting to live in a state of hopelessness and helplessness while GOD has created the universe with all its loving kindness and care for humans. Yet humans are not satisfied and strive to deplete one another with the absence of GOD in the picture. Passing the intergenerational trauma to the new generation who will keep the vicious cycle of conflicting worlds and unresolved past. Those who can not see how their actions impact the lives of the vulnerable can not value the creation freely given to us by GOD. Those who worship chariots, gold, and men won't ever be able to see GOD's creation with all its blessings, and their strive for more will never be enough. That is our reality when knowledge is being used against human life.  

     The tribal competition puts the regular person at a disadvantage, where they are not part of this endless striving for more. How can a child find a safe place around? How can regular people live their day without being targeted either to be used, abused, or misused for the strive of others' agenda who see humans as objects? How can you feel safe around when your existence is seen in the eyes of GOD? It is challenging to witness that history running in reverse, and the same stories of injustice are repeating themselves with the highest level of technology use and abuse, the ignorance of the regular person who has no idea that they are being used. Their lives mean nothing within the tribal race of strive. It is time to think that doing your day is like getting by and maintaining your simple life. Expecting the world to change is like expecting the ocean water to turn into sweet water for everyone to flourish, prosper, and multiply. It is a matter of survival in a world hungry for conflict and unsettlement. Maintain your simple life in the eyes of the Creator, and seek HIS guidance, wisdom, and protection. And let HIM hear your voice in seeking HIS guidance in a world where you can live and let live. The simple principle of human life is to live and let live. Peace !!! BY: ME, "The old ancient woman."