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Each child's existence on earth was once a moment of two adults, and this moment is determinantal to last many years once the child exists in the world. Some came as a lust for a lavish life, some as a normal design of society, some by accident, and others intentionally. While intentionality has its own spiral as well, some come to be used as a tool of living, some come as revenge for being on their own, others come for having life around two first who intentionally want to have life together and understand what life means for themselves and to the children they love to bring to life, and these are the scarcity of modern life. As I grow older, life becomes something different from what I thought I knew, was taught, or experienced. Walking the path of rough pathways, witnessing the calamity of humanity losing the essence of what life means, what a human means, and what being alive means. From the dysfunctional of the roots to more complex relationships and structuring damaging life, where understanding the value of self was lost within the spiral of doing like millions are doing, behaving like everyone behaving, pretending so you can survive, do what they ask you do or the punishment will follow, the life of fear, expectations, and self-denial dissolving within the spiral of delusional thoughts, dreams, and perception of what may sound or seem as a reality forgetting the core of yourself, and gradually falling under the influence of every wave comes your way.
Dysfunctional becomes the norm; healthy is a foreign word. Saying yes to humiliation and abuse or punishment will follow. The reptilian brain takes over each action, decision, or step in the animal brain. It is tiring when humans forget to dissolve within the dysfunction and harm. A lot of questions on the way of the wilderness of life, primarily girls and women, fall short of the abuse of the world to their existence, body, and soul, and influencing how they think, act, behave, and relate. It is sad to see how adults play a critical role in the lives of the young; whatever is perceived as the norm will be repeated and expand into good, bad, or ugly. It is interesting to understand that even if a child has a certain predisposition for the bad, the environment plays a critical role in suppressing these bad characteristics or traits or facilitating their manifestation. Suppressing the voice of the choice of what you want and honoring that whatever has been planted across the way finds its way through adulthood won't give you any chance to act upon what has been lost. The moment the child feels abandonment, disassociation, avoidance, and detachment, it changes the world around them.
As I grow older, I understand what I allow to happen and that life mainly does not reflect my true self, sticking in the cycle that dysfunction is the norm. What has been planted from generation to generation without giving yourself a chance to think, is this what I want? If the overwhelming state of fear that when you choose what is best for you, you will be punished, and here shrinking, alienation, and maladaptive behaviors become the norm, follow each choice a human will make and influences the damage that takes place, and it is hard to replace. Even societies rarely consider that change could occur. In boxing humans in the same pathway that harmed them and repeating patterns of dysfunctional spiral events of daily life, the perception of time and space brings the human to the moment of fear, punishment, and denying themselves to meet the expectation of whatever control the moment, moments of unease, and discomfort. Moments of hardships, taking a breath, and all the escape toward everything can numb this overwhelming state, being stuck, not finding a way out, and going into void spirals within the fear and the dysfunctional norm.
When the dysfunctional perception about life and the world, everything the human is attracted to is dysfunctional, increasing the spiral of harm and loss of life, as the human forgets they are humans or even they have the right to be human controlled by the desires, the flesh, and how everything looks like from the outside, the delusion and the bait of the world and ignoring to make a reality check. As dysfunction is the norm, it is easy to deceive and play around without honoring human life. It is sad to witness the oppression of adults to adults and children who have no fault in the dysfunctional world around them. It is a choice to reverse the cycle, and few are intentionally dedicating their lives to reverse the dysfunction; however, the work is hard, and it is only their responsibility to make a choice or keep going through the spiral of deceit and oppression of the voice, the being, the right of life.
The older I get, the more I understand how the choice can be the point of turning around or turning toward the same dysfunctional life that misshaped their realities, distorted their identity, separated the self from what they have to accept and dwell in fear of constant punishment, stress, control, and lack of choice, there is no way out, breathing tightly and walking with a burden of nonexistence, and have no right. This brokenness alienates humans away from life. It is not a good place to dwell in or be misshaped by it; it takes decades of life, where few escape the cage of human suppression of others' voices. To every child misshaped by the dysfunctional life of adults, I apologize. I hope you will one day be able to stand up for yourself and declare your right to have a life of your choice. Don't expect the dysfunctional life will ever change, it is a loop feeds on other dysfunction, It is up to you to understand that unhealthy dynamic, and saying a loud NO for keeping yourself in a spiral will never change. Find your inner voice, and never undermine the small steps you take toward a healthy life and your chosen life. Peace!!!, By: Me, "The old ancient woman."
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