What makes us humans are our feelings and emotions. They make us stand out of any other creature. Yet, they control everything going around our life. It is not easy to find a goal focused life without the interruptions of daily communications based on our loads of feelings and emotions either by us or who ever we meet.
So interesting to experience how our feelings and emotions direct the day who we can go along with, who we can fight, who we can invite in and who we can kick out. Yes, this is how I see the daily operations within many businesses running around. It is more who I want to be in the place and who I can't stand till they are out of the door. So interesting to see humans are being moved through the cube of the business as a chess ornaments. Each player is used to stand a certain step towards the end of the game" Check mate ".So, what makes the pieces to be used over and over? It is the love of the game, seeing humans as ornaments not valuable assets, each of them is walking into the place to represent a different piece of work. Turning the place into a symphony of high performance . A performance that will lead to more creativity and productivity, by means bringing the game of win-lose into a game of bringing people into life. A life they are created for. A life will serve the noble goal of God's creation to us. We are again created in His image. No one is useless once their are no longer serve the game, or they fall short in their walk within the game.
Looking at all of this you see certain patterns are repeating themselves. The Market has no time to invest in building up true functional humans to infuse within the business. The market is looking for who is already ready, who understands the game of the bucks and how to get them into place.The market is looking for the fast rhythm of the moment, more extroverts than introverts. So it is not about empowering people for the purpose they are meant for as this cost alot of expenses. Mentor ship is another a big business game, it is a career, who couldn't afford it ,they have to go through the rough waves of school of life. Getting into the fire and see if you dare to be in the middle of this fire to exist, survive and be what you meant to be.
My experience does not say that there is no learning through the way or no one will look at you and see your potentials, nope God is good within the fire, there are angle hands throw you pieces of love and mercy to let you say Aha, Thank you God. At the main time you have to face the other side, the mean side of life. With no other thinking whoever is so aggressive and abusive to you they are both ways: first, either they are hurt alot and when I say alot that means alot that what they grasp in life that being mean and abusive is the only way to feel you exist ,you have control over situation you are the boss, you made it and now it is your turn to hurt others as much as you got hurt till you got your way at the place where you are. Especially when you meet someone that reminding you of something in your past. Your work like becomes the field of paying back the hurt have done to you in others who represent thing you hate and you don't want to see or please you when you do this to others. So hurting others or abusing them become the source of your joy, so sad to meet someone like this. The unspoken hurt has been done to them is projecting itself in their attitude and behavior with others, so bias and discrimination become your philosophy in dealing with others. Your narcissistic level increases each time you find in hurting others is a source of pleasure and satisfaction to your soul. Sorry you are a burning fire that consumes any joy exists around you. You won't be in peace even with yourself. And sorry you are not the type I like to be around as your emotions and feelings are controlling your life so no true good thing i can learn from this type of personality. When you decide that your nasty behavior with others will prove your authority and existence ,sorry I am not your victim and I won't be in this arena that you are trying to drag me to.
If rudeness, aggression, abuse are your approach to do business, let me tell you something, you will never be thankful or grateful for anything in your life, all you will live for is fighting and fighting till the end of your life race, no peace ever exist within you mind, heart and soul and by the end will be read all over your face, the most stressful impression you could ever read on the face of a person which is not healthy or inviting environment to people to stay. You are looking at people as chess ornaments and this is not what God made us for.
Oh! Jesus have you ever thought how much heavy emotions and feelings can ruin the most beautiful gift we have given freely from heaven that is called life? A life filled with so many miraculous wonderful things that reflect His beauty within us. How come we allow the rusty hurt and pain to destroy such holy beauty? How come we become a tool in the devil's hand to rob us of the peace that can exist within us? And why are you allowing this consuming fire to eat you and anyone comes near to you? Why this deep hunger to feel your authority and power over whoever you find as a potential victim to grow your narcissistic desire to be at the top of the world around you? Sorry my friend I don't find joy in this. This is tormenting life for the most precious creation made by God we as humans not ornaments.
With all this tense presence of negative energy, here comes another side of how all these diversities well managed in the place? Can an objective communication pattern of communication exist? Can be there a clear strategy toward handling difficult people at work? Not only as professional development yet are a therapeutic approach to take part in the process of helping direct this negative energy into a more productive objective approach. Instead of focusing on people, focus on the task, the goal, the outcomes and feedback and future plans? Can we have a tolerance spirit with mistakes as learning opportunities to add or modify our plans. Can we be clear about our objectives from hiring people. We are not illiterate , somehow somewhere everyone got a fair amount of education that means there is a base and this base needs to be built on in a good shape not destructive shape? As we can we put aside our mental battles with differences among us and see the person for the real he/she not as you want them to be? have you though of people mining as you search for gold and silver in the mountains buried deep in the dirt and rocks can you consider the people as your treasure that needs to be refined to let them shine not putting their shine to death? If it is all about the money and who deserve it and who don't who is in and who is out so the point here is not the person him/her self. The point here is like a father who chooses to bless one of his sons and kick out the other son and God never does this to us He blesses us all , so it is all human-made- laws, so please don't anticipate God in your own thinking and choices you make and the game you want to play.
Social Justice is an ancient case, yet we haven't learnt the lesson yet. Looking forward to straight clear objective way of communication. Communication that respect the person in front of you. Communication that presents the best in you. Communication that is telling the truth not manipulating the situations. Communication that clarify the way that you want to head to. The far end goal. Communication that is filled with clarity, accountability, transparency and justice.
If we take 10 minutes out of our day to write down : Why am I in this place? What is my role here? Does it go with the common goal of the place? if yes, how if not why? and how does this difference and be added to the place and what challenges may occur out of that? How am I going to deal with these challenges? Give it a try, Give it time, collect your resources, analyse them , draw your recent situation conclusions, bring out the results , feedback what works what does not wok and then come to final conclusion lessons learnt, lessons needs to be learnt, what skills do I need to reach this level of performance and above all is this what i meant to be? Do I find myself in this work or I lost myself and do not see a taste of life out of it. Do not over burden yourself,keep trying you will know it when you reach it. The true you all goes to your 10 minutes daily reflection. No matter the type of work you do, it will build up itself one day, keep exploring yourself and never be a victim of your circumstance, by: Manal Eweis" The Old Ancient Woman"
Monday, July 31, 2017
Sunday, July 30, 2017
It was the time
Sometimes you do your best to stand strong in the face of the storm. Hurting tunes and words penetrate through your heart like poisonous swords. As I mentioned before Christians are persecuted in so many areas of the world and this pain every christian carries especially the devoted ones. The ones not only seeing it as a historical time line but as a way of life to live for. Eye for eye, life for life. It is that deep bitterness, anger and unending line of tears.
The pain is deep, the hurt is ongoing and persecution became a daily routine that may occur even without thinking about it or planning for it, it becomes as a second nature to live. When this pain become a second nature, some start to see any person related to these hot spots as a chance to take revenge of what has been heard, read or watched through the Media. So as a new born Christian it is hard for them to accept me as Iam . No, their mind is set up on the pain and the hurt. Not fully accepted, welcomed or there is a true open heart for a person like me. Wherever I go everybody is stressed around me. You don't feel the peace or the smoothness of any routine around. So you start to carry your pain with you wherever you go.This the price you pay over and over and did you plan this one day? did you envision it? or anybody told you about the price you have to pay when you say Iam a christian and here my story? Nope, it is my journey through the valley of the shadow of death. I can't see the light yet.
You walk through your day, carrying your hurt and pain. Carrying the mark that you are Arab person, not trusted or fully accepted. Walking as a stranger among faces.. Walking with heavy steps that you know what the eyes, faces, minds and hearts say" You are a red spot" be careful, stranger danger and the joy of life is lost. Nothing to say but to walk with your pain and hurt even when hurtful conversations are directed to you. The price of being a different identity and life style. Carrying your pain and closing yourself in a dark place, everything you try to do, there is a slap in the face and doors are closed. As if the message is sent"Go away, we do not want you here?" No matter you do, what has been drawn about you, they do not want to change it. No matter what you say is ridiculed or being ignored.
Is this what I gave my life for? Is this how we plant an inviting approach for others to love who they are and be who they are without questioning or doubting or throwing swords into their hearts? Anger, bitterness are growing day by day. Less conversations as you no longer feel your existence around, people become like shadows for you. You don't want more talking. Machines come back to be your friend not humans as you are not a human anymore. You are unwanted creature wherever you go. What makes you keep moving and day after day the message is repeating itself, "Go away, we do not want you here." Storms never stop. It was the time when I detached myself from any feelings could exist. It was the time to walk without a hint to do what you have to do even the message is clear telling you" Go away........" That is the reality we live in when no direct communication or acceptance to people who exist on earth, people like me. Or maybe Iam totally wrong and there is something I don't understand or maybe Iam stubborn to insist that one day, one time one moment there will be a hope for a change.
I don't want to keep going battling the same old patterns of pain and detours even I don't understand lots of things around me. I am trying to get up and stand and walk the day that is given freely from heaven to do something. Even washing dirty dishes or doing the stinky job as a friend said before. If this is all what is offered by the world, take it and keep moving. Pain won't end, hurt won't end this is the history and the history is repeating itself over and over, no light till the sun rises.By: Manal Eweis The old ancient woman
The pain is deep, the hurt is ongoing and persecution became a daily routine that may occur even without thinking about it or planning for it, it becomes as a second nature to live. When this pain become a second nature, some start to see any person related to these hot spots as a chance to take revenge of what has been heard, read or watched through the Media. So as a new born Christian it is hard for them to accept me as Iam . No, their mind is set up on the pain and the hurt. Not fully accepted, welcomed or there is a true open heart for a person like me. Wherever I go everybody is stressed around me. You don't feel the peace or the smoothness of any routine around. So you start to carry your pain with you wherever you go.This the price you pay over and over and did you plan this one day? did you envision it? or anybody told you about the price you have to pay when you say Iam a christian and here my story? Nope, it is my journey through the valley of the shadow of death. I can't see the light yet.
You walk through your day, carrying your hurt and pain. Carrying the mark that you are Arab person, not trusted or fully accepted. Walking as a stranger among faces.. Walking with heavy steps that you know what the eyes, faces, minds and hearts say" You are a red spot" be careful, stranger danger and the joy of life is lost. Nothing to say but to walk with your pain and hurt even when hurtful conversations are directed to you. The price of being a different identity and life style. Carrying your pain and closing yourself in a dark place, everything you try to do, there is a slap in the face and doors are closed. As if the message is sent"Go away, we do not want you here?" No matter you do, what has been drawn about you, they do not want to change it. No matter what you say is ridiculed or being ignored.
Is this what I gave my life for? Is this how we plant an inviting approach for others to love who they are and be who they are without questioning or doubting or throwing swords into their hearts? Anger, bitterness are growing day by day. Less conversations as you no longer feel your existence around, people become like shadows for you. You don't want more talking. Machines come back to be your friend not humans as you are not a human anymore. You are unwanted creature wherever you go. What makes you keep moving and day after day the message is repeating itself, "Go away, we do not want you here." Storms never stop. It was the time when I detached myself from any feelings could exist. It was the time to walk without a hint to do what you have to do even the message is clear telling you" Go away........" That is the reality we live in when no direct communication or acceptance to people who exist on earth, people like me. Or maybe Iam totally wrong and there is something I don't understand or maybe Iam stubborn to insist that one day, one time one moment there will be a hope for a change.
I don't want to keep going battling the same old patterns of pain and detours even I don't understand lots of things around me. I am trying to get up and stand and walk the day that is given freely from heaven to do something. Even washing dirty dishes or doing the stinky job as a friend said before. If this is all what is offered by the world, take it and keep moving. Pain won't end, hurt won't end this is the history and the history is repeating itself over and over, no light till the sun rises.By: Manal Eweis The old ancient woman
Friday, July 28, 2017
It Is Not A Rocket Science
For the years I have been trailed and still, life comes with the hardest lesson you could ever face. Smiley faces with spikes. Masks cover a whole different identity of what is seen or pretended to be. Wondering where can you find a true face of life not fake ones. Wearing a mask became the true identity of the 21st century delusional realities we live in. The core point is which mask are you wearing and why? From the deep bottom of my heart I come to believe what I see is not the whole truth. What I hear is not the whole truth and sometimes things are twisted. Repetitive patterns of breaking trust so you keep your authority and control over the place you are in.The game of life sharks against gold fishes. And Man can't you stand this rough wave of sharks ? Can't you survive the whip of their tail? Can't you look normal around? Really, you want to survive? and why you want to survive if you are looked at as a good bait? Oh! Jesus, never imagined one day that me will be looked at a bait to fish more sharks in the ocean so my existence or survival doesn't matter for the sharks that control the situation and have authority to do whatever they want to do with people like me.
And here comes the question mark do we really believe that humans have value to have life of their own choice? Can they have their dignity and self respect as humans without being misused or not considered as full humans are able to understand and do what is best for their own? or Do they have to fall as victims of their circumstances? What represent life in the world of sharks? Choosing to say No to anything depreciate your value as a human worthy of life, life filled with respect- trust and dignity, sometimes is not the right solutions for the sharks who see you as a good bait for a complex agenda and more blood shedding in a message of wrong doing or condemnation , tracing you like shadows, make sure that you fell into the trap and no way out. Make your world so tight that you hardly can see a ray of hope, again power and authority are playing their double edged game, smile with a sword in hand . You know this route and what it leads to, using you as a no value sacrifice , as a front line to vicious agendas .Another question is rising itself why are we here on earth? Why are we giving minds and life? Why are we shaped this way not another? There is a reason for this. You are not given a mind and life to be smashed like a hot potato or being isolated from what is called real life. So hard to absorb tens and tens of negative messages on daily basis and you can not argue with each one of them. You do not want to give it a chance to think about it twice as this is not what I was made for. God made me for me. God made me to be His servant to sow a seed of kindness through the way I go. There is alot of hurt in this life, unspoken hurt. Abusive people, you can not change them they love the way they are, this is how they get their way in life to be at the top of their abused person. It is not their fault to abuse you. It is your fault that you gave them the chance to do this to you.
Abusing is a sickness, a person who tends to abuse or hurt others is sick . His/her sickness is incurable so why you choose a lost battle and hoping they will change. What made them like this either they were abused till the death or this is how they learnt to get their way. All their behaviors always justified and because of your silence their voice is louder than you. They win , you lose. They have control you lose control.They understand what they are doing, you are clueless. You are the one who takes all responsibility for any hurt comes into your life. You are giving the chance to be hurt over and over so no matter how angry you could be.No matter how sad you could ever be, no matter how hurt you have or bitterness in your heart.You have to fix yourself. It is not a rocket science ,it is simple and clear , the main focus is on you to fix yourself. To identify the red flags and the repetitive patterns that keep repeating themselves. Something in you is representing a message to others that you are ok with hurt and abuse. Not everyone you meet has a noble heart. Admit it you are presenting a message to the world that you have been victimized and it is ok to be done again , so shame on you not anyone else. Shame on you not to stand out as a full creation of The ONE and The ONLY God. Shame on you that you believe the false messages again and again. Shame on you that you think that you are in a different world and everything is perfect. Shame on you that you listen to the words and you fall asleep and not be awake. Shame on you no to save your self-respect and walk freely within the spirit ,Trusting God and why He made you the way you are. No one has authority over you but God. You have freewill to choose and live the life that you believe in. If there is no clear messages so it is no no. It s no if what is said not honoring Him. It is no if what is said break your dignity and self worth. It is no if what is being done by demolishing your existence within the universe. It is no if there is no clear boundaries for your self-respect.
Take your time, to understand who you truly are ,and as long as you are convinced with what is right for you. No one else will have authority over your life but God and you. It is your identity within Him not in the world By: Manal Eweis" The Old Ancient Woman"
And here comes the question mark do we really believe that humans have value to have life of their own choice? Can they have their dignity and self respect as humans without being misused or not considered as full humans are able to understand and do what is best for their own? or Do they have to fall as victims of their circumstances? What represent life in the world of sharks? Choosing to say No to anything depreciate your value as a human worthy of life, life filled with respect- trust and dignity, sometimes is not the right solutions for the sharks who see you as a good bait for a complex agenda and more blood shedding in a message of wrong doing or condemnation , tracing you like shadows, make sure that you fell into the trap and no way out. Make your world so tight that you hardly can see a ray of hope, again power and authority are playing their double edged game, smile with a sword in hand . You know this route and what it leads to, using you as a no value sacrifice , as a front line to vicious agendas .Another question is rising itself why are we here on earth? Why are we giving minds and life? Why are we shaped this way not another? There is a reason for this. You are not given a mind and life to be smashed like a hot potato or being isolated from what is called real life. So hard to absorb tens and tens of negative messages on daily basis and you can not argue with each one of them. You do not want to give it a chance to think about it twice as this is not what I was made for. God made me for me. God made me to be His servant to sow a seed of kindness through the way I go. There is alot of hurt in this life, unspoken hurt. Abusive people, you can not change them they love the way they are, this is how they get their way in life to be at the top of their abused person. It is not their fault to abuse you. It is your fault that you gave them the chance to do this to you.
Abusing is a sickness, a person who tends to abuse or hurt others is sick . His/her sickness is incurable so why you choose a lost battle and hoping they will change. What made them like this either they were abused till the death or this is how they learnt to get their way. All their behaviors always justified and because of your silence their voice is louder than you. They win , you lose. They have control you lose control.They understand what they are doing, you are clueless. You are the one who takes all responsibility for any hurt comes into your life. You are giving the chance to be hurt over and over so no matter how angry you could be.No matter how sad you could ever be, no matter how hurt you have or bitterness in your heart.You have to fix yourself. It is not a rocket science ,it is simple and clear , the main focus is on you to fix yourself. To identify the red flags and the repetitive patterns that keep repeating themselves. Something in you is representing a message to others that you are ok with hurt and abuse. Not everyone you meet has a noble heart. Admit it you are presenting a message to the world that you have been victimized and it is ok to be done again , so shame on you not anyone else. Shame on you not to stand out as a full creation of The ONE and The ONLY God. Shame on you that you believe the false messages again and again. Shame on you that you think that you are in a different world and everything is perfect. Shame on you that you listen to the words and you fall asleep and not be awake. Shame on you no to save your self-respect and walk freely within the spirit ,Trusting God and why He made you the way you are. No one has authority over you but God. You have freewill to choose and live the life that you believe in. If there is no clear messages so it is no no. It s no if what is said not honoring Him. It is no if what is said break your dignity and self worth. It is no if what is being done by demolishing your existence within the universe. It is no if there is no clear boundaries for your self-respect.
Take your time, to understand who you truly are ,and as long as you are convinced with what is right for you. No one else will have authority over your life but God and you. It is your identity within Him not in the world By: Manal Eweis" The Old Ancient Woman"
Tuesday, July 18, 2017
It is not A Common Sense
It is a big deep sigh coming from my hurting heart. Yes. I admit it. Witnessing on daily basis how hurt can shape a big angle of its expansion to the world. It came to my mind here in the world we hear and see what is called bias, prejudice, discrimination, hatred, persecution, segregation, terms that are created by humans from one generation to another and are being taught from one generation to another.Yet, another term that we are not focused on so much due to speed wheel of responsibilities, and the fear of not surviving the race and status of life.
It is a fierce undeclared battle run on daily basis especially at small business, in each story you can see the hurt that had been done to a person and how it affect their perception of everyone around them . You come to know those who are attempting to hurt you, already had been hurt. Looking for someone weaker to through their hurt upon either physically, verbally, or mentally. All ache is arousing when situations occurred. The most powerful among them is the most hurt person over the years of their lives.
Anger projects itself, stress, negativity all are energy suckers, all they think of at this point is to get the anger out, unconsciously hurting another, someone has to take the burning fire within on. Thinking of what we always be reminded at the church wherever I am , I am a child of God. In reality it is a marathon of survival,God is not the core, sometimes you hear the word God or Jesus being said like fashion to show off. You don't feel the sincerity in proclaiming it, as action are the true reflection of our thoughts and feelings which are shown in our actions. So, I come to convince myself that not everything I hear or see is true. Actions speak louder than words. No one will walk life for you, it is your responsibility to walk your life, your own journey. Don't count on others' promises or praise or complements, be aware of who you are and who you belong to and How He made you this way .It is not anymore about common sense ,it is about common fulfillment within of who you are in God's eyes.
If we see most of the conflicts around the world, it is all about the fore teachings that had been established and structured within building communities. You see in Sunni countries , Shiite are not allowed in religious jobs or politics or congress. So they focus on Science and Mathematics and do the religious matters and politics in Shiite countries. So in Shiite countries all other religions are minorities Sunni and Jews and Christians . Also in Sunni countries, Christians , Jews are minorities they do not have the full freedom to hold certain position due to the common sense of the country. In Buddhist countries , it is hard to declare different religions to have authority as well. and the list goes on even in Western Culture minorities have to shape their own rules and laws that guarantee the authority of the group and eliminate anyone else don't belong to the group and this shapes a hierarchy of polices and certain structures hard to break.
This hierarchy decides who is in and who is out. How the shape of the community has to be. So minorities do shape great shifting power in economics, politics, and wealth. I call them the life ahead concentrations. To play by their rules it is a challenging game especially to a disarmed person like me. So what disarmed here means" You are one person, no family, no connections, no authority . no influence by any status you are none, literally non if you are give a sort of life, you have to be grateful, to have a point of view or a dream who are you, you are old, out of fashion, you have acne, spots, all over your face, bad foot, missing two teeth, wearing glasses, out of the world, not professional , living day by day wage" So who you are and what do you want? These are the messages that are delivered by the world around. Messages do not give you hope of a better life or future, messages may break your heart and let you think, do hurtful people are mostly hurt from the first place? and this hurt left untreated and so no one paid their attention to so they are walking in life to hurt hurt others, without realizing what they are truly doing? They never ask themselves how despite all these negative messages you continue to show up? I have no answer to that but Iam a child of God, Iam a servant of the ONE Mighty GOD. He sees me and knows me by name. He is nourishing my soul by His word which is the only truth here on earth . It is hard for me to believe something else. Walking with my creator seeking His guidance no matter how much I got hurt or being persecuted even on the land of the free as it is all about the person and where they came from, from a place of hurt or a place of God's love, that is what makes the difference not your common sense. When you deal with a person remember they carry the structured rules and laws that they vowed to obey.
The more you question any existence, the more you come to know, nothing is worthy. Forgive me to say it again nothing is worthy away from God. We came empty handed and will be back to Him empty handed so instead of putting all your dirty energy in my life, throw it away in a void place where you may meet Him the ONE who will wash all this away. Give respect to His creation not humiliation . Treat people as they like to be treated, with respect, dignity and God's love which is given to us freely. Keep moving His voice is leading you so never look back for even a second as what is past is passed already, you couldn't turn it back. If you really know who you truly belong to , treat each other with respect, enough hurt. Walls already exist so try not to build more walls and show respect, even they don't want to give it back .By: Manal Eweis " The Old Ancient Woman"
It is a fierce undeclared battle run on daily basis especially at small business, in each story you can see the hurt that had been done to a person and how it affect their perception of everyone around them . You come to know those who are attempting to hurt you, already had been hurt. Looking for someone weaker to through their hurt upon either physically, verbally, or mentally. All ache is arousing when situations occurred. The most powerful among them is the most hurt person over the years of their lives.
Anger projects itself, stress, negativity all are energy suckers, all they think of at this point is to get the anger out, unconsciously hurting another, someone has to take the burning fire within on. Thinking of what we always be reminded at the church wherever I am , I am a child of God. In reality it is a marathon of survival,God is not the core, sometimes you hear the word God or Jesus being said like fashion to show off. You don't feel the sincerity in proclaiming it, as action are the true reflection of our thoughts and feelings which are shown in our actions. So, I come to convince myself that not everything I hear or see is true. Actions speak louder than words. No one will walk life for you, it is your responsibility to walk your life, your own journey. Don't count on others' promises or praise or complements, be aware of who you are and who you belong to and How He made you this way .It is not anymore about common sense ,it is about common fulfillment within of who you are in God's eyes.
If we see most of the conflicts around the world, it is all about the fore teachings that had been established and structured within building communities. You see in Sunni countries , Shiite are not allowed in religious jobs or politics or congress. So they focus on Science and Mathematics and do the religious matters and politics in Shiite countries. So in Shiite countries all other religions are minorities Sunni and Jews and Christians . Also in Sunni countries, Christians , Jews are minorities they do not have the full freedom to hold certain position due to the common sense of the country. In Buddhist countries , it is hard to declare different religions to have authority as well. and the list goes on even in Western Culture minorities have to shape their own rules and laws that guarantee the authority of the group and eliminate anyone else don't belong to the group and this shapes a hierarchy of polices and certain structures hard to break.
This hierarchy decides who is in and who is out. How the shape of the community has to be. So minorities do shape great shifting power in economics, politics, and wealth. I call them the life ahead concentrations. To play by their rules it is a challenging game especially to a disarmed person like me. So what disarmed here means" You are one person, no family, no connections, no authority . no influence by any status you are none, literally non if you are give a sort of life, you have to be grateful, to have a point of view or a dream who are you, you are old, out of fashion, you have acne, spots, all over your face, bad foot, missing two teeth, wearing glasses, out of the world, not professional , living day by day wage" So who you are and what do you want? These are the messages that are delivered by the world around. Messages do not give you hope of a better life or future, messages may break your heart and let you think, do hurtful people are mostly hurt from the first place? and this hurt left untreated and so no one paid their attention to so they are walking in life to hurt hurt others, without realizing what they are truly doing? They never ask themselves how despite all these negative messages you continue to show up? I have no answer to that but Iam a child of God, Iam a servant of the ONE Mighty GOD. He sees me and knows me by name. He is nourishing my soul by His word which is the only truth here on earth . It is hard for me to believe something else. Walking with my creator seeking His guidance no matter how much I got hurt or being persecuted even on the land of the free as it is all about the person and where they came from, from a place of hurt or a place of God's love, that is what makes the difference not your common sense. When you deal with a person remember they carry the structured rules and laws that they vowed to obey.
The more you question any existence, the more you come to know, nothing is worthy. Forgive me to say it again nothing is worthy away from God. We came empty handed and will be back to Him empty handed so instead of putting all your dirty energy in my life, throw it away in a void place where you may meet Him the ONE who will wash all this away. Give respect to His creation not humiliation . Treat people as they like to be treated, with respect, dignity and God's love which is given to us freely. Keep moving His voice is leading you so never look back for even a second as what is past is passed already, you couldn't turn it back. If you really know who you truly belong to , treat each other with respect, enough hurt. Walls already exist so try not to build more walls and show respect, even they don't want to give it back .By: Manal Eweis " The Old Ancient Woman"
Saturday, July 8, 2017
Going Through The Mystery
Ok, for the seventh year Iam walking through the journey of the unknown. As a refugee was my start, with one suite case, moving from one place to another, carried by the grace of God, not understanding lots and lots of things around me, a very primitive approach shaped within an adult. A woman figure, by herself knocking doors , lost in her trauma , unaware of many things she explains. It is a world looks like being lost in a far end of a world of the unknown. Words can not express how it feels or how the world receives you, you go from mountain to mountain from time to time there are key words are given for you to walk through a new mystery to be solved.
The whole truth or facts won't be given to you, you have to explore and experience on your own. A world filled with suspicions, phobia, illusions from what is going on around the world. You may be stigmatized in a different way due to your ethnicity or status. We live in a world of too much negative around as if our value does not exist. Unfortunately if you are trying to present a new story a way of millions of stereotyped you will be marked " high risk" or" a house on fire" " watch out" " pay attention" or " red flag" or " High potential threat" so many labels can be put on you if you choose a different way of living as many stories through the history the worrier has to face the giants, giants of authorities, power and influence. It does not matter if you are a man or a woman, your destiny brings you to deep valleys some to knock you down, some to allow you to see life in a different way. All what matters is what is behind all of this. Sometimes I tell myself why the world even exist?
Like in ancients myths you have to fight with Gods of the world it is all about the upper hand over anything else. To see your self as a tiny grand of sand trying to find her way in such very mysterious world around her. Thinking of the multidimensional of a thing. Each network has vertices, edges and faces. Most of the journey you are dealing with faces, hardly to be in direct contact with edges that connect all the dimensions together to lead to the vertices, the top planner or checkmate. Each face either to bring you down, teach you a lesson or be a friend to walk with you no matter who you are. Yet, some faces do show up for specific task is meant either for good or bad. That is how you find yourself in the new world.
Counting your blessings in the midst of the journey, collecting stones from all shapes and sizes, stones of the lessons are being taught to you all the way. Nothing happen by accident. Racing within the unknown is not an easy journey. Can a woman survive trauma ? Can the world be part of healing or destruction? Can the mystery be solved and make life easier for her? by the end what is all of this about?
In the midst of each storm ray of hope shows up, something delightful happens, bringing you to be connected to the land that open its doors for me a a refugee to say you have a home now you are a citizen. Welcome home, you made it . having a home a land to belong to that is a new start of what you want to be within your new home, the breath of freedom of choice and face. Yet it is not only me my land open its door to, they open their doors for everyone even those who reminds me of my hurt and pain. Once I see anyone belongs to the past, the other side I lived in, I feel it all over my body. The pain , hurt and anger arouse to the surface again to remind me why I came here to this land at the first place. Flashbacks and a change of my state of mind occurs, trying to hold myself together and realize, Healing didn't happen yet, Iam not there yet, I say I forgive alot yet when it comes to real life, I realize I am not.
Day after dayIam telling myself Iam here now, Iam safe, no more fears, Iam no longer a personal property to anyone, Iam free Iam not afraid. Daily confirmation to stand on my solid ground Jesus Christ, giving myself as his servant and a daughter of the king of kings. Do words only sufficient or I want to do something more. The way I breathe, think and see the world around me. May when they come my way, God wants to tell me something , look at you, you made it so far a whole new person in Jesus Christ so don't be afraid , walk tall and strong even many things do not sound or look right.
Another question so why certain people come my way in the same same pattern and trying to constrain me, limit my life and why they act like that? Or think like that or do this or that ? They do not own me? Or because there are millions of Christians overseas being persecuted, am I being persecuted in a different way? This type of victimized mindset I don't want it. Even there is something does not feel right, I have to walk in the truth that Jesus set me free and not to destroy myself by thinking in this direction. Who accept me as I am, do not need and permission from anyone to accept me the way Iam. Who don't accept me, no matter who Iam or I do they won't accept me and I have no control over that. Who wants to see me in a certain way they will do whatever they could to confirm to the rest of the world this picture and I have no control over that either. Yes, there is good and bad in the world.Yes, there is always stereotyped of actions, stories, and behaviors. Yes there is a masking world what is seen is not the truth. Yes, we many times tend to be not honest toward each other due to different agendas and interests. Yet,I don't have to be part of all of that ,Iam who I am ,I get lost in my thoughts, I question everything.I analyse everything, I don't get anything in my life unless it is true, and proved its honesty. Yes I love to predict and do lots of psychs that is how my brain was created or I inherited this type of mind from my ancestors .Yes, I love exploring, experimenting and reading people and all this is a gift from God. He is showing me lots of great things how Mighty He is in creating us the way we are, Walking through His mysterious creation of making us all the way we are , is my greatest lesson to learn and be thankful for, diving within the deep of our complex mentalities even in the simplest things we do, Lord break me free to say it out and loud I am YOURS, by: Manal Eweis" The old Ancient Woman"
The whole truth or facts won't be given to you, you have to explore and experience on your own. A world filled with suspicions, phobia, illusions from what is going on around the world. You may be stigmatized in a different way due to your ethnicity or status. We live in a world of too much negative around as if our value does not exist. Unfortunately if you are trying to present a new story a way of millions of stereotyped you will be marked " high risk" or" a house on fire" " watch out" " pay attention" or " red flag" or " High potential threat" so many labels can be put on you if you choose a different way of living as many stories through the history the worrier has to face the giants, giants of authorities, power and influence. It does not matter if you are a man or a woman, your destiny brings you to deep valleys some to knock you down, some to allow you to see life in a different way. All what matters is what is behind all of this. Sometimes I tell myself why the world even exist?
Like in ancients myths you have to fight with Gods of the world it is all about the upper hand over anything else. To see your self as a tiny grand of sand trying to find her way in such very mysterious world around her. Thinking of the multidimensional of a thing. Each network has vertices, edges and faces. Most of the journey you are dealing with faces, hardly to be in direct contact with edges that connect all the dimensions together to lead to the vertices, the top planner or checkmate. Each face either to bring you down, teach you a lesson or be a friend to walk with you no matter who you are. Yet, some faces do show up for specific task is meant either for good or bad. That is how you find yourself in the new world.
Counting your blessings in the midst of the journey, collecting stones from all shapes and sizes, stones of the lessons are being taught to you all the way. Nothing happen by accident. Racing within the unknown is not an easy journey. Can a woman survive trauma ? Can the world be part of healing or destruction? Can the mystery be solved and make life easier for her? by the end what is all of this about?
In the midst of each storm ray of hope shows up, something delightful happens, bringing you to be connected to the land that open its doors for me a a refugee to say you have a home now you are a citizen. Welcome home, you made it . having a home a land to belong to that is a new start of what you want to be within your new home, the breath of freedom of choice and face. Yet it is not only me my land open its door to, they open their doors for everyone even those who reminds me of my hurt and pain. Once I see anyone belongs to the past, the other side I lived in, I feel it all over my body. The pain , hurt and anger arouse to the surface again to remind me why I came here to this land at the first place. Flashbacks and a change of my state of mind occurs, trying to hold myself together and realize, Healing didn't happen yet, Iam not there yet, I say I forgive alot yet when it comes to real life, I realize I am not.
Day after dayIam telling myself Iam here now, Iam safe, no more fears, Iam no longer a personal property to anyone, Iam free Iam not afraid. Daily confirmation to stand on my solid ground Jesus Christ, giving myself as his servant and a daughter of the king of kings. Do words only sufficient or I want to do something more. The way I breathe, think and see the world around me. May when they come my way, God wants to tell me something , look at you, you made it so far a whole new person in Jesus Christ so don't be afraid , walk tall and strong even many things do not sound or look right.
Another question so why certain people come my way in the same same pattern and trying to constrain me, limit my life and why they act like that? Or think like that or do this or that ? They do not own me? Or because there are millions of Christians overseas being persecuted, am I being persecuted in a different way? This type of victimized mindset I don't want it. Even there is something does not feel right, I have to walk in the truth that Jesus set me free and not to destroy myself by thinking in this direction. Who accept me as I am, do not need and permission from anyone to accept me the way Iam. Who don't accept me, no matter who Iam or I do they won't accept me and I have no control over that. Who wants to see me in a certain way they will do whatever they could to confirm to the rest of the world this picture and I have no control over that either. Yes, there is good and bad in the world.Yes, there is always stereotyped of actions, stories, and behaviors. Yes there is a masking world what is seen is not the truth. Yes, we many times tend to be not honest toward each other due to different agendas and interests. Yet,I don't have to be part of all of that ,Iam who I am ,I get lost in my thoughts, I question everything.I analyse everything, I don't get anything in my life unless it is true, and proved its honesty. Yes I love to predict and do lots of psychs that is how my brain was created or I inherited this type of mind from my ancestors .Yes, I love exploring, experimenting and reading people and all this is a gift from God. He is showing me lots of great things how Mighty He is in creating us the way we are, Walking through His mysterious creation of making us all the way we are , is my greatest lesson to learn and be thankful for, diving within the deep of our complex mentalities even in the simplest things we do, Lord break me free to say it out and loud I am YOURS, by: Manal Eweis" The old Ancient Woman"
Tuesday, July 4, 2017
A new Story to be Told
Writing a story in a new perspective is not an easy task to be done in one of ten steps as it is now available on the internet. Some stories needs time and patience to be weaved in the right direction of life. Either it is your story or my story,God has the final word. Trust God with all your heart ,soul and mind.
Looking back seeing how far I walked and how far I have learnt on the other side of the world. Reaching a point don't tell me a story, walk me through it , by means let me live it. Introducing the shiny phase of a culture is not fair to make conclusions. Yes, this shiny part does exist , and shaping a huge part of laws, protocols and huge broad road map that will continue till our lord and savior comes back again, and yet that shiny phase forms only 1% of the whole world which relies on the 99% to keep them on top of the world.
Money births money it never dries out once you come to make that stone and brand ,the market operates itself . The older you get, the more money comes in, consumers put it in the front line of their daily life consumption. The Name markets itself. In between you have this ladder of personnel that have to keep this system running and here comes the contradiction of stories. Your position within this ladder that what makes sense to everything. The money does exist, the distribution process that what makes the socioeconomic gap exists all over the world. So it is not one nation philosophy or strategy. It all comes to the links in between the lines. Don't ask why this person get accepted or promoted and you are not. it all goes back to the inner dynamics within the association or corporate office who fits in most and who align with the vision of the organization and the system running the business. It is all a matter of fitting in . Blocks within the system not welcomed to misfits.
We live in a very competitive world, requires your readiness to go further than your limits, higher skills and preparedness. No second thought and keep the wheel running and if you don't fit in , you have to accept what has been offered to you as priority comes to who fits within the organization first then we don't know exactly about you ,sorry.......
Being highly educated is an old fashion as knowledge is changeable as well with the market. What you have may not fit in the today requirements of the market. Listening to many stories about fighting for lives, never give up difficulty and don't surrender. I found myself many times giving up, surrender and don't fight. Iam not a fighter Iam a human God made me the way Iam .Iam a thinker and seeking peace around me which has been received as a defeated spirit and in boxed in this frame and built a reputation of a whiny woman who is not standing strong to get what she wants .
When a picture is drawn about you, it won't change that is the reputation that walks with you wherever you go. That draws my attention about how we present ourselves into live and how others receive us can affect the path of your life and build this person you are not aware if she does exist or not.
So interesting that my quietness not to fight back and trying to keep my peace is received as an ignorance and inability to cope up with the world around me. Many indicators to tell me watch out you are being outcast, you are being in boxed in the frame of inability to perform in a high standard, inability to be treated equal or getting the job that may match the true you? Watch out for the alarms that as keeping sending their way to you, sorry you are not qualified. Sorry you are not fitting in the position that is posted, sorry we have priority to so and so, sorry you are not supposed to be here. All recommendations is to inbox me within a certain community not being free to choose what I want be within the new life God has given to me freely.
There is a voice that telling me, my story is a new version of me, giving away all the old and what has done is done and walking with God in a whole complete journey trusting Him with the out come, saying sorry fro each one wanted to take a piece of me and leaving me like a rag on the high way of homelessness and not being valued as a child of God. Sorry for each one who wanted me as a personal property not equally created and equally valued. Sorry for each one who abused and misused me not considering God's justice and fairness on earth as it is in heaven. Sorry for each one bullied me, called me names and hold me back and undermined my ability to be what God wants me to be. Iam not alone Iam walking with a Mighty God who reigns the earth and the heavens. I am a daughter of a living king who shows mercy upon my mistakes who forgives me unconditionally without blame. His breath is within me I am breathing His gracious goodness so don't judge me . I walk each step knowing that He is carrying me, watches over me and Iam His loyal servant wherever I go. All earthly things are a filthy rag for me, we make things, things don't make us and in all what we do we give Him all the glory .
Even I walk in the middle of the shadow of death, I know His is with me, He will never leave me nor forsaken me. He will allow me to tell a new version of a story to show His awesome power in creating a misfit like me. In God we trust. By : Manal Eweis" The Old Ancient Woman"
Looking back seeing how far I walked and how far I have learnt on the other side of the world. Reaching a point don't tell me a story, walk me through it , by means let me live it. Introducing the shiny phase of a culture is not fair to make conclusions. Yes, this shiny part does exist , and shaping a huge part of laws, protocols and huge broad road map that will continue till our lord and savior comes back again, and yet that shiny phase forms only 1% of the whole world which relies on the 99% to keep them on top of the world.
Money births money it never dries out once you come to make that stone and brand ,the market operates itself . The older you get, the more money comes in, consumers put it in the front line of their daily life consumption. The Name markets itself. In between you have this ladder of personnel that have to keep this system running and here comes the contradiction of stories. Your position within this ladder that what makes sense to everything. The money does exist, the distribution process that what makes the socioeconomic gap exists all over the world. So it is not one nation philosophy or strategy. It all comes to the links in between the lines. Don't ask why this person get accepted or promoted and you are not. it all goes back to the inner dynamics within the association or corporate office who fits in most and who align with the vision of the organization and the system running the business. It is all a matter of fitting in . Blocks within the system not welcomed to misfits.
We live in a very competitive world, requires your readiness to go further than your limits, higher skills and preparedness. No second thought and keep the wheel running and if you don't fit in , you have to accept what has been offered to you as priority comes to who fits within the organization first then we don't know exactly about you ,sorry.......
Being highly educated is an old fashion as knowledge is changeable as well with the market. What you have may not fit in the today requirements of the market. Listening to many stories about fighting for lives, never give up difficulty and don't surrender. I found myself many times giving up, surrender and don't fight. Iam not a fighter Iam a human God made me the way Iam .Iam a thinker and seeking peace around me which has been received as a defeated spirit and in boxed in this frame and built a reputation of a whiny woman who is not standing strong to get what she wants .
When a picture is drawn about you, it won't change that is the reputation that walks with you wherever you go. That draws my attention about how we present ourselves into live and how others receive us can affect the path of your life and build this person you are not aware if she does exist or not.
So interesting that my quietness not to fight back and trying to keep my peace is received as an ignorance and inability to cope up with the world around me. Many indicators to tell me watch out you are being outcast, you are being in boxed in the frame of inability to perform in a high standard, inability to be treated equal or getting the job that may match the true you? Watch out for the alarms that as keeping sending their way to you, sorry you are not qualified. Sorry you are not fitting in the position that is posted, sorry we have priority to so and so, sorry you are not supposed to be here. All recommendations is to inbox me within a certain community not being free to choose what I want be within the new life God has given to me freely.
There is a voice that telling me, my story is a new version of me, giving away all the old and what has done is done and walking with God in a whole complete journey trusting Him with the out come, saying sorry fro each one wanted to take a piece of me and leaving me like a rag on the high way of homelessness and not being valued as a child of God. Sorry for each one who wanted me as a personal property not equally created and equally valued. Sorry for each one who abused and misused me not considering God's justice and fairness on earth as it is in heaven. Sorry for each one bullied me, called me names and hold me back and undermined my ability to be what God wants me to be. Iam not alone Iam walking with a Mighty God who reigns the earth and the heavens. I am a daughter of a living king who shows mercy upon my mistakes who forgives me unconditionally without blame. His breath is within me I am breathing His gracious goodness so don't judge me . I walk each step knowing that He is carrying me, watches over me and Iam His loyal servant wherever I go. All earthly things are a filthy rag for me, we make things, things don't make us and in all what we do we give Him all the glory .
Even I walk in the middle of the shadow of death, I know His is with me, He will never leave me nor forsaken me. He will allow me to tell a new version of a story to show His awesome power in creating a misfit like me. In God we trust. By : Manal Eweis" The Old Ancient Woman"
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)