It has been a while since I shared my reflections in such open window of virtual world. An open window to reflect on my journey in a foreign land and how we receive and be received through our everyday life. Another awakening to realize that I was still living in the Utopia mindset, that everything is going to be o.k and planning for the next day, using my right of freedom and do take action to live the freedom I am fighting for, yet, I am still have different perspective about how freedom could be in the 21st century and with all this advancement of technology and science. A huge gap still exist, the smart wheel blind many from seeing the bottom side of regular everyday life of a stranger like me. At her age choose to walk on her own, trusting God with all her life as it is His and when she took this decision she wasn't fully aware of the law of the land and she will be received by so many that think I am stubborn, prideful and argumentative.
And here the labeling zone goes from one year to another and all I have to do is to live the consequences out of that frame. The stories never stop, and the patterns of consequences are getting harder to comprehend if I got it wrong from the beginning. Nevertheless, Iam not qualified enough, not talented enough, take everything personally, being offended easily and the list goes on without even a hint to stop and asking me a question, " Do you agree with all of that when we slice you into pieces and in boxing you personality and character?" Are you ok with that? this is the typical reaction of wondering mind like me as questioning sometimes is not supposed to be.
In my way of freedom I do believe, each one of us is created differently and we haven't to be formed the way others ask us to be. In my way of freedom, knowing your true self is more important than being sliced by views that want to see you that way not another. Freedom means you are adult and responsible and went through so many experiences that formed you the person you are right now.
In the way to freedom I embrace individuality within the group, being different does not mean you are a threat or an enemy to someone else. Getting to know who you are and what you are equipped for with complete faith and assurance that is how God created you and yet sometimes some don't like that as this is how the human nature works within us, when we don't like someone in particular and trying to get rid of him/her , her lies the deep sin of the first sons of Adam , the serpent reigns the scene and the harm is done and here comes the question why when you live to be a reflection of God's image on earth this is not welcomed by everyone and they judge only the flesh.
Why is the main question to ask when hurt happens and in the middle of the hurt God covers you with His grace and love. His angels guard you and lead you through the valley of the shadow of death. Why is the exclamation to the deep pain when you witness the flames of jealousy and prejudice still find its way in the 21st century.
Few weeks ago there were shewing gum spread on my car , then almost 11 days a car hit me and scooped the entire side of my car, the passenger side, I called the two event the spirit of 9/11 when others still carry hate and anger from people like me came from the Arabic world. Individual hard reactions to express the anger for something they only heard about it , they were not part of it. So judging one person with someone's else crime and both are crimes against humanity. I can not consider there are far away from reflecting this hidden hate and anger toward us Arab people .
As a stranger in a foreign land i have been met with both angels and the normal typical world who is blinded with false Media and feeding of bad thinking toward others. That is a whole world change game when someone believe blindly of what has been told to them and they love to see someone get hurt if they are not bad people .
At this time of the year yes, the flame of anger about 9/11 do strive inside many around , just like many other stories in different parts of the world where wars and conflicts strive. The question that presented itself why there is no openness about such deep hate/ anger feelings openly and having interfaith dialogue instead of expressing them aggressively in the ways that hust someone like me seeking her freedom of faith and choice here on US Soil. The land that is founded on the word of God, the land that is calling the whole world to free their people and granting equal rights for their own people, the land that welcomes everybody from all over the world no matter their color is or what they believe, the land that has the heart of God to love one another and serve one another and see the human not the blindness of the darkness that destroys the peace and the beauty that once was exist.
Why always expressing hate/anger in a very harmful physical ways that harm innocents around them only judging them by race/color and faith? why setting ourselves as the evil tool to destroy the justice that can exist through embracing one another and not be that way of destructing lives without establishing them ?
With all my heart I lift the nation to God to work on each one's heart , to allow them to get rid of their hate/anger scheme and admit God's control over everything. We are not meant to seek justice through harming one another , this is not the way of Jesus. I lift the days and everything in this land to be restored by the grace of God . Still along way to see the freedom I once imagined that is exist, having hope and I'll never give up ..................
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