It Has Been A Journey

" By the grace of God I am what I am , and His grace toward me did not prove vain."
 1 Corinthians 15:10

So true , leaving my home country walking in the unknown .Not sure if I am going to live or not .Who I'll be with or where I could live .Yes , for six years now , it has been a journey .Journey of wonders and so many things happened and still happening . Why me and where Iam going , it is  the question that keeps revealing itself with each storm I go through . Living in reality and witnessing God's grace , love and mercy in the hearts and minds for those who love Him.

As a stranger in a stranger land , I have been carried into so many adventures and discoveries . Non of them was thought of or planned as I didn't have any plan for how my life is going to be once I walked away from my old life . In the Journey , in each moment of our lives we witness either a cry , a loss or confusion or being lost in so many directions around . Holding up on temporary solutions or believing whatever we meet in our way and here our grounds may be shaken . Detours happen , frustration and disappointments take place that lead to blindness and unrest which is not the way of Jesus.


We hurt one another with over looking on each other. Indignation , labeling , judgement , criticizing and putting one another in hard places ....... the ownership of man to man , by means , alot forget who we all belong to and they appoint themselves as owners of those who have no way out in life. I call it modern slavery , once you lost your life and being kicked out into the unknown , not everyone you will meet through your journey represent Our Creator , not everyone is real ambassador for the body of Christ .So , it is common to happen as a sinking person that hope exists in everything you meet in your journey ,so you are too much trusty and open . And here among the good ones lie the ones who by nature seeking a situation to control and be part of wicked plot . As a blind , confused person , you give this permission so willingly and here comes the trauma of being too much trusty . Here the shift of your boat on top of hot lava and burning fire  comes out of such hard situation , you put yourself in .

It has not been an easy journey , as through trials I lost my confidence and trust . Living 5 years in isolation as finger pointing is now everywhere, the crazy , the untrusted person and the weirdo who has been walking with this labeling for the third year . Taking advantage of my panic attacks , ignorance and fears , brought me down to a spot that when I am alone ,Iam safe . The theory of conspiracy and labeling affected how I look at the world around me .The more Iam isolated , the more ,Iam calm and safe. Scared to initiate a conversation with a stranger or walk around a crowd .Scared to sit among huge gathering of people as I don't belong , I don't fit and I am labeled . Afraid to ask each question comes to my mind .Walking like a turtle as I don't know from where the next strike into my life will come. Imagining everyone around with a sword at the back and getting it ready to stab me over and over and this is not the way of Jesus .

Trying to convince myself that when you don't understand , ask. When you are confused , seek guidance. When you are in doubt confront . When you are desperate , turn it all to Jesus . put your burden , your load before Him and seek His clarity to you. Allow the Holy spirit to work on you . Then , see what God wants you to do.... Following God's directions is the purist way of living , hence comes peace and acceptance .Also , co-existence


Learning to understand God's grace and hope and how it could be , that is my life journey learning process . So thankful for all His loyal servants who are teaching me ,what having a life of grace means . Where acceptance and belonging can be witnessed through the years . And for all those who have been hard on me ,thank you as you are showing me what not to be . In Him we overcome . He knows me and sees me .He walks before me ,even in tribulations ,He is always proving He is a Mighty God . Thank you Jesus .