Swinging

You may unable to see the little boy in the picture , he is almost 5 years old or maybe older, I don't know all I know is to share the moment I opened the curtains to see how the world look outside my closed windows. Living many years of isolation absolutely leaves its effect on you no matter you will try to ignore it. It is time of holidays, the following day after thanksgiving gatherings, after all the happy moments to embrace those who value you in their lives. To witness God's love and grace in the moment that make a difference upon you and recharge you with the warmth of its authenticity... after shared cool stories, laughs, quick chats and games you are trying to keep pace with them to understand, since i am not a game person, my life is a huge game itself, unconnected piece, shadows of hopes and dreams.

Looking at the world from my window my eyes captured this little boy swinging outside, it is cloudy, and the quietness after the party shows itself , looking at him and at a sudden I went in a moment I don't know how to describe it  , the sky covered everything and all I can see is this little boy swinging in the middle of the blue skies, everything around disappeared from the picture and here Iam recalling the status of my true life, swinging between the world of isolation that shaped its way through the years and coming back into the world with full presence to accept what had happened and accept who I am right now. scared of confronting the realities I escape everything into my own world and being ok that my world is virtual and that what I decided years ago, no true life within the world.

Then things happen and I say to myself no more separation and be present, be who you are without any expectations for anything to happen or even listening to the wild negative comments around that forced me to accept to dwell within my fears.

Swinging won't take you to any stable status, like floating nothing authentic or unique about this. A child is doing everything spontaneously, happy with his limitations according to his age, surroundings and the laws that are formed to him.  Yet what about you as an adult who passed many phases of lives many types , standards and experiences why you are putting everything behind and getting down with the voices that are calling to tear you apart to break you down as one person told me, I have to be broken down so others can rise and to be the lamb, this is not what God meant for us. He said in the scripture" You are wonderfully and fearfully made" "You are created in my image" That means alot, we are not in a status of swinging according to His word. We are factors that witness His greatness, and His amazing design within us, that is huge, that fact or that truth is a source of humongous energy that is put within us. We belong to Him , we are His marvelous creation, beautiful creation away from the physical desires that destroyed many nations and many souls. We are pure source of creating, inspiring, living a life on His standard of creating us all, no inferiors no superiors but His wonderful breath within each soul on earth, Try not to swing and live a life to witness His glorified work within you, That's my prayers In Jesus name,Manal Eweis