Another month of 2016 almost is going to say goodbye tomorrow and sooner a new month with a new hope and beginning. To stand for what truly within me not someone else. To see true me without make up or graphic enhancement. To say it loud to myself this is me accept her , forgive her and reconcile with her. Yes, if you wait for everything to change around you, you are wasting your life , time and the most precious gift is given to you from heaven that 's your breath, your beingness , to be who you truly are, like a weed, yes you stand , like a black sheep, yes, you can survive, yet, not to be compromised. Being the way I am doesn't allow me to throw myself into the deep ditch of life that brings nothing but hurt and emptiness. My silence has been translated into weaknesses and helplessness and is easy to get hurt. Walking in silence sometimes it hurts itself as it may be lack of understanding your true-self.
And when the cycle repeats itself, don't blame anyone else. Who deserves all the blame is myself so,I have to go back to myself, and forcing myself to delayer the hurt that occurred , to face my weakness and brokenness without shame or being guilty for all the past. If Iam judged with my past life, then what Jesus had done on the cross for me is no use or meaningless. And this is a lie I don't have to listen to it or believe it. He paid a heavy price to set me free and washes me away from sin,so why allowing the false voices to cut me off and dwell in the darkness and that where my warfare is taking place. Sabotaging each hope can spring from the least expected places or face I've ever met. To shut the door in front of these lies took so many years out of my life to be able to see them as they truly are , lies and not the truth.
All the transformation that is happening, doesn't happen in a simple action of a day, it happens like a roller coaster takes me in a very high wave of conflict, struggle confusion and unrest. As if all the lies are focused on me not someone else. The attack is sever emotionally and mentally that affected me now and my health and that what any scheme wants from anyone who seeks to know God on the purest and clear foundation to believe in His written word ,to listen to His whispers in the midst of each storm . I heard and read alot about the spiritual warfare, can not imagine one day that I'll go through it. And what is funny that you don't know what it is till you reach you weakest point of strength, when there is no strength to fight back, depending on my own understanding that leads to more downfalls and thirst , tiredness to see anymore or even being able to listen to any other voice or be present in the moment. The spiritual warfare takes you to a spot when you stop to believe whether what you see or hear is true or not. Unable to distinguish between the light and the dim light that exhaust your vision to see clearly what is upfront or behind or what to do next. When all voices around sound alike, with a fainted body to lay all the peaks and mountains before you at the cross, where is everything is done and finished, you collect your sorrows, burdens, tiredness and confusion at the cross where you meet with Him and He is waiting for you to come back to him to remind you over and over what he truly is and what you truly mean to him. He did what he did because he loves you so much, so why I keep forgetting each time I face a storm . Not remembering who is greater than any storm and who I belong to and who has the power to forgive, heal and gives you rest. His rest may mean you have to lay everything at the cross and trusting in him that he will take care of. Maybe it is to see your mistakes and why you did them so you can repent and allow him to wash you over and over again to renew you mind and soul to see through his light what he wants you to do or not to do.Rest may mean there is a part you have to make as it is life that is given to us through him and for him so what do want to do with this precious gift for you? Rest may be mean shutting down all negative voices and listen to his true voice and see your true self.
It is a journey that through it I saw alot, I did alot and learnt alot. It is a journey of a child of God who do believe that she has her life for him and this is not being understood for so many reason and being unable to see the true me and allowing the storms to shuffle my days into a waste . living like an empty paper, nothing is marked on it. Living as tree , fruitful and yet these fruits doesn't make a common sense at the end, scattered into million of pieces once trying to collect them together , so easy the storm blow and scatter each piece as far from others as it could. Trying to understand and nothing to be said but I myself who open the door for the storm to blow and make my life a waste and senseless. Building walls of fears and lack of trust and seeing the world as unreal and the dark side is gaining and reaping each fruit with nonstop actions and Iam drowning in the ocean as a gold fish. After many year I know now my true self, a gold fish, she can be crushed so easily and breaks whenever any storm comes. So it is me who is refusing to live like a shark and not to blame nayone but herself, taking responsibility of being fragile not strong, easy to be broken and nothing left, shadows of old self that no more make sense.
It is better to understand your true self hence you can understand why things happen this way because of you , you never changed. facing the world with the same old mentality that breaks me down and it became like a code about myself. Manual so easy to be read and prepare the right attack or action and the result is guaranteed, so no solid foundation like building a house on sinking sand, will be washed away whenever storms or flood occurred. No solid foundation on who you truly are and why you are here on earth. No blaming shifting game the whole responsibility is me and overcoming such painful truth that is the true freedom that i could ever achieve on this earth to be on a solid foundation on a rock , hard to be shaken or token down .
The way to freedom is so painful as it melts you down when you come to nothing and allowing the holy spirit to bring you back to life and to feel His presence in each step of the journey without fears or shame and to surrender to His will. To exist and find your humanness when it was lost. By: Manal Eweis
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Saturday, September 24, 2016
Way To Freedom (4)
Almost a month now since my shakiness after the multiple accidents occur, trying to get myself together, spending more time with myself, listening to the inner voice within me, giving myself a chance to hear God's voice to guide me and give me clarity. He called us to come to Him and He will give us rest,yes, LORD Iam collecting my stones through my journey of faith, endurance, perseverance, patience, thankfulness, and righteousness, and understanding to your endless grace, love and mercy, to your endless blessings into our lives.
When I got the call that my car is ready to be picked, You taught me LORD You are in control. Iam trying to control everything in my life, to do it right, and here LORD I am in situations that I ca not control or resolve, acknowledging me of my limitations and shortcomings, I am not super woman, Iam an ordinary person who seek you LORD, to honor You and to give You all the glory in each thing happen and surround me here on earth. I declare Your control over my life and everything around. I declare Your Mighty protection over my life as YOU are the One who created it. Called me from the farthest corner of earth. Put on my heart Your love and faithfulness forever and ever I live.
It is you only LORD who understands what Iam seeking, to know the purpose and meaning of being here on earth, not in the flesh nor the anxious desires of the world to get more and more as this is not my battle. I don't feel my peace when Iam surrounded by the obnoxious desires of the world of never been satisfied, this do troubles me, I seek to drink from Your endless knowledge and peace, I seek to explore what You have created within me to make a true impact within the mind, soul and spirit not the flesh. Jesus I can relate to you when the pharisees were trying to find fault in you , how that is a life consuming bad spirit to exist even thousands years of your ascending , how you felt exhausted, sought rest going to the mountain to recharge your spirit from our heavenly father who comforted you and gave you the strength to come back to the world and face its troubles that brought then and still the world is the same, no rest promised. Jesus I know each time Iam facing a trial , how you felt at that time and how you came in the flesh to show us how we would be received within the world where flesh controls all actions ,feelings and desires, you will never feel satisfied and this hunger for more brings hurt, destruction into the lives of others as this hunger blinds and blocks the work of the spirit withing the souls that many transform lives.
I learn how difficult the mission is to work with humans who are made of multi layers of complex feelings and emotions that control their actions into the world. It is easy to work on desert reclamation , digging well, or discovering new lands, the hardest part in life here on earth is working on souls reclamation . What a task!!!!!!!!!!! The break the siege of the enemy fake and false promises, their promises never been delivered, their soft voices work like magic to lead humans to self destruction and more innocent lives are being affected, wounded and being taken and here come their joy and the battle is to reign over God, which won't happen ever, even we still walk in a dark tunnel, not sure of what what is going on or unable to trust or believe as the bitterness takes part of our hearts. No peace there, here comes the earnest need to cry out loud to God to armor our selves with His word , to declare His control over the situations and rebuke this dark spirit to continue to keep us captive to its wicked scheme to take us away from God. Jesus you knew what the world promise , you said it and warned us, yet it is our humanness that manifest its limitations and inability to control it all .
The battle lies in our believe to say it out loud that God you are there, and we trust in you even I couldn't see the light,I know you are there, Jesus you carried it all of the cross to set me free, pray out loudto Him declare His presence with you , ask Him to truly set you free from the lies of the enemy .. you are His and He knows you by name, His creation to you won't go vain. There is a message is being written in the lines of your story , keep fight for your freedom and the captivity for the enemy within your mind. The battle is not mine, it is THe LORD , He will be exalted, never give up, keep moving don't stop, the enemy scheme is to try to stop you from doing God's will by any means, he never promise you any good, his promises is to bring destruction to our relation ship with our creator and shaken our believes and yet behold for who dwells in you in Mightier than any enemy on earth. Declare His presence in your life and trust He is in control .By: Manal Eweis
When I got the call that my car is ready to be picked, You taught me LORD You are in control. Iam trying to control everything in my life, to do it right, and here LORD I am in situations that I ca not control or resolve, acknowledging me of my limitations and shortcomings, I am not super woman, Iam an ordinary person who seek you LORD, to honor You and to give You all the glory in each thing happen and surround me here on earth. I declare Your control over my life and everything around. I declare Your Mighty protection over my life as YOU are the One who created it. Called me from the farthest corner of earth. Put on my heart Your love and faithfulness forever and ever I live.
It is you only LORD who understands what Iam seeking, to know the purpose and meaning of being here on earth, not in the flesh nor the anxious desires of the world to get more and more as this is not my battle. I don't feel my peace when Iam surrounded by the obnoxious desires of the world of never been satisfied, this do troubles me, I seek to drink from Your endless knowledge and peace, I seek to explore what You have created within me to make a true impact within the mind, soul and spirit not the flesh. Jesus I can relate to you when the pharisees were trying to find fault in you , how that is a life consuming bad spirit to exist even thousands years of your ascending , how you felt exhausted, sought rest going to the mountain to recharge your spirit from our heavenly father who comforted you and gave you the strength to come back to the world and face its troubles that brought then and still the world is the same, no rest promised. Jesus I know each time Iam facing a trial , how you felt at that time and how you came in the flesh to show us how we would be received within the world where flesh controls all actions ,feelings and desires, you will never feel satisfied and this hunger for more brings hurt, destruction into the lives of others as this hunger blinds and blocks the work of the spirit withing the souls that many transform lives.
I learn how difficult the mission is to work with humans who are made of multi layers of complex feelings and emotions that control their actions into the world. It is easy to work on desert reclamation , digging well, or discovering new lands, the hardest part in life here on earth is working on souls reclamation . What a task!!!!!!!!!!! The break the siege of the enemy fake and false promises, their promises never been delivered, their soft voices work like magic to lead humans to self destruction and more innocent lives are being affected, wounded and being taken and here come their joy and the battle is to reign over God, which won't happen ever, even we still walk in a dark tunnel, not sure of what what is going on or unable to trust or believe as the bitterness takes part of our hearts. No peace there, here comes the earnest need to cry out loud to God to armor our selves with His word , to declare His control over the situations and rebuke this dark spirit to continue to keep us captive to its wicked scheme to take us away from God. Jesus you knew what the world promise , you said it and warned us, yet it is our humanness that manifest its limitations and inability to control it all .
The battle lies in our believe to say it out loud that God you are there, and we trust in you even I couldn't see the light,I know you are there, Jesus you carried it all of the cross to set me free, pray out loudto Him declare His presence with you , ask Him to truly set you free from the lies of the enemy .. you are His and He knows you by name, His creation to you won't go vain. There is a message is being written in the lines of your story , keep fight for your freedom and the captivity for the enemy within your mind. The battle is not mine, it is THe LORD , He will be exalted, never give up, keep moving don't stop, the enemy scheme is to try to stop you from doing God's will by any means, he never promise you any good, his promises is to bring destruction to our relation ship with our creator and shaken our believes and yet behold for who dwells in you in Mightier than any enemy on earth. Declare His presence in your life and trust He is in control .By: Manal Eweis
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Way To Freedom(3)
August 31, 2016 a very crucial date in my journey. When you feel that you are doing what has to be done, to do your part of responsibility and give back to the place the open its door to you when you had no door open. The land that open its door not only for me but for the whole world. So, I was so pleased of what I have realized and Iam being part of this whole entire principal for a nation to stand for and here I was hit by my car accident that switched my thinking to a million of thoughts , bringing up old trauma's and fears. What is going on??? what wrong had happened and once again the feeling life/death chances stirred itself once again. Taking me to love/hate equation and feeling disconnected and a huge desire to seek justice and something is going to be ok.
All anger controlled my actions and feelings of rejection , no acceptance to people like me. Is this a moment of declaration that no place for me on earth? Is this them what is wrong with me and why all this is going on , trying to do my best working two jobs only to be able to do my part. I was blessed with plenty, a roof above my head, a job, the privilege to be able to drive after a struggle of 5 years among friends taking me around , driving schools and taxis. Iam trying to do my part so what wrong I did? what am I not paying attention to? God are you angry with me so you are punishing me? Or a stranger like me has no place on earth? what do you want to tell me God??
Posting the accident pics on social Media and going into the journey of seeking resolutions for the situation after back and forth with the insurances I understood that Iam covered with uninsured Vehicle and the ray of hope started to happen. God has another surprise for me in the situation when they offered me a standard rental car smart engine car. So God is turning everything around and Iam being treated royalty and with full respect and dignity. I was honored to be treated like that. So grateful and thankful , yet, when you give a diamond to a dummy here all the issue . Having the car for almost a week and here I had to attend an event and here the hidden trauma is manifesting itself when I choose to park down a hill and when I was asked to come at the front that requested to reverse so I can come out , here the wrong decision take place first I didn't ask for help to allow the receptionist or the host to help me bring the car out, second I had two parking options other than that and I didn't make smart choice by then. Thirdly, instead of steering the wheel to the right, I did it to the left that resulted in hitting the wall , injured the car badly, broke the light and the wheel got scratched. Another horrible choice I admit Iam completely responsible for it. So Iam not a good steward for others property , reporting the second accident on a row on 9/17/2016 . Later after that after finishing along work day, driving hoe back here no headlights , so dark so I hit a median and went to the wrong lane , a miracle from heaven happened when the coming car right away changed the lane , I decided not to continue driving and parked at a shopping center, decided to spend the night in the car till the morning so I can take the rental car back and I don't forgive myself at all for my lack of responsibility and uncontrolled nerves .
All my body is shaken and all I want to get myself together again a question rises again what is going on? Something wrong with me. I decided to text my friend to let them know where I am if something happen to me through the night. Right away they decided to drive and get to help me and not to spend the night at the car. They did come to where I am and again Jesus is saving my life , turning the head lights on for me, again I learnt when you are not yourself and being in panic, thinking is blocked to do the right action.
They lead me to where I live, make sure I am ok and yet no one knows how I feel but God and me, I am all shaken , fast heart beat and feeling falling deep deep down, yes, Iam ignorant , yes, there is alot to learn and be aware of, to be mindful to open your eyes for the right action at the right time and be prepared, all this take me to a spot of paralyzing and fears fill my inner soul, wondering why I am this way and why I am not able to help myself the right way? Everyone is helping me to move forward in my life and Iam not helping myself so what can i expect more?I do believe prayers work and make a difference in our lives. so what iam praying for avoiding trials or overcoming trials? what are you praying for? and if you are doing what is right why the outcomes don't reflect that??
The hurt now is coming from me, the hurt now is affecting others around me. I lost my control over my day as I don't trust myself anymore in doing the right action each time i face trial or struggle, my body is speaking another language now, the language of fire nervous and anxiety and stress, all trauma post effects are coming to the surface, pain in my arms, shaken and pressure on my left eye and left side of the brain , and when your body is trying to warn you , you have to listen. you have to pause and think what I have to do to know what is going on within me right now? Talked with my friend , my fellow in the journey of faith who opened her doors for me when i have no place o go, going together to the doctor and after all the talk ,I was diagnosed with Stress , the modern age illness , hardly to escape it , yet i didn't like the medicine that has been prescribed to me (Valium) as I do believe through the word of God He will heal you, through surrender to His voice within you ,He will heal you, giving up control and meditate, do natural remedies and activities as I used to do at the time of the high peaks of trials, I wonder where that person? I can not see her anymore, i see a defeated body and this is not of Jesus, with the power of prayers I declare that the battle is not mine, it is the LORD and He is in control. In the power of the name of Jesus I declare His presence in the mildest of my trial. it is a warfare to keep me in my captivity to the evil. In the power of the name of Jesus I give it back all to Him to lead me and guide me through the path of His righteousness.
To break free from all these strongholds that keep me captive and easy material for the enemy. The battle is God , He is in control in the mighty name of Jesus,Amen
All anger controlled my actions and feelings of rejection , no acceptance to people like me. Is this a moment of declaration that no place for me on earth? Is this them what is wrong with me and why all this is going on , trying to do my best working two jobs only to be able to do my part. I was blessed with plenty, a roof above my head, a job, the privilege to be able to drive after a struggle of 5 years among friends taking me around , driving schools and taxis. Iam trying to do my part so what wrong I did? what am I not paying attention to? God are you angry with me so you are punishing me? Or a stranger like me has no place on earth? what do you want to tell me God??
Posting the accident pics on social Media and going into the journey of seeking resolutions for the situation after back and forth with the insurances I understood that Iam covered with uninsured Vehicle and the ray of hope started to happen. God has another surprise for me in the situation when they offered me a standard rental car smart engine car. So God is turning everything around and Iam being treated royalty and with full respect and dignity. I was honored to be treated like that. So grateful and thankful , yet, when you give a diamond to a dummy here all the issue . Having the car for almost a week and here I had to attend an event and here the hidden trauma is manifesting itself when I choose to park down a hill and when I was asked to come at the front that requested to reverse so I can come out , here the wrong decision take place first I didn't ask for help to allow the receptionist or the host to help me bring the car out, second I had two parking options other than that and I didn't make smart choice by then. Thirdly, instead of steering the wheel to the right, I did it to the left that resulted in hitting the wall , injured the car badly, broke the light and the wheel got scratched. Another horrible choice I admit Iam completely responsible for it. So Iam not a good steward for others property , reporting the second accident on a row on 9/17/2016 . Later after that after finishing along work day, driving hoe back here no headlights , so dark so I hit a median and went to the wrong lane , a miracle from heaven happened when the coming car right away changed the lane , I decided not to continue driving and parked at a shopping center, decided to spend the night in the car till the morning so I can take the rental car back and I don't forgive myself at all for my lack of responsibility and uncontrolled nerves .
All my body is shaken and all I want to get myself together again a question rises again what is going on? Something wrong with me. I decided to text my friend to let them know where I am if something happen to me through the night. Right away they decided to drive and get to help me and not to spend the night at the car. They did come to where I am and again Jesus is saving my life , turning the head lights on for me, again I learnt when you are not yourself and being in panic, thinking is blocked to do the right action.
They lead me to where I live, make sure I am ok and yet no one knows how I feel but God and me, I am all shaken , fast heart beat and feeling falling deep deep down, yes, Iam ignorant , yes, there is alot to learn and be aware of, to be mindful to open your eyes for the right action at the right time and be prepared, all this take me to a spot of paralyzing and fears fill my inner soul, wondering why I am this way and why I am not able to help myself the right way? Everyone is helping me to move forward in my life and Iam not helping myself so what can i expect more?I do believe prayers work and make a difference in our lives. so what iam praying for avoiding trials or overcoming trials? what are you praying for? and if you are doing what is right why the outcomes don't reflect that??
The hurt now is coming from me, the hurt now is affecting others around me. I lost my control over my day as I don't trust myself anymore in doing the right action each time i face trial or struggle, my body is speaking another language now, the language of fire nervous and anxiety and stress, all trauma post effects are coming to the surface, pain in my arms, shaken and pressure on my left eye and left side of the brain , and when your body is trying to warn you , you have to listen. you have to pause and think what I have to do to know what is going on within me right now? Talked with my friend , my fellow in the journey of faith who opened her doors for me when i have no place o go, going together to the doctor and after all the talk ,I was diagnosed with Stress , the modern age illness , hardly to escape it , yet i didn't like the medicine that has been prescribed to me (Valium) as I do believe through the word of God He will heal you, through surrender to His voice within you ,He will heal you, giving up control and meditate, do natural remedies and activities as I used to do at the time of the high peaks of trials, I wonder where that person? I can not see her anymore, i see a defeated body and this is not of Jesus, with the power of prayers I declare that the battle is not mine, it is the LORD and He is in control. In the power of the name of Jesus I declare His presence in the mildest of my trial. it is a warfare to keep me in my captivity to the evil. In the power of the name of Jesus I give it back all to Him to lead me and guide me through the path of His righteousness.
To break free from all these strongholds that keep me captive and easy material for the enemy. The battle is God , He is in control in the mighty name of Jesus,Amen
Saturday, September 10, 2016
The Way To Freedom (2)
It has been a while since I shared my reflections in such open window of virtual world. An open window to reflect on my journey in a foreign land and how we receive and be received through our everyday life. Another awakening to realize that I was still living in the Utopia mindset, that everything is going to be o.k and planning for the next day, using my right of freedom and do take action to live the freedom I am fighting for, yet, I am still have different perspective about how freedom could be in the 21st century and with all this advancement of technology and science. A huge gap still exist, the smart wheel blind many from seeing the bottom side of regular everyday life of a stranger like me. At her age choose to walk on her own, trusting God with all her life as it is His and when she took this decision she wasn't fully aware of the law of the land and she will be received by so many that think I am stubborn, prideful and argumentative.
And here the labeling zone goes from one year to another and all I have to do is to live the consequences out of that frame. The stories never stop, and the patterns of consequences are getting harder to comprehend if I got it wrong from the beginning. Nevertheless, Iam not qualified enough, not talented enough, take everything personally, being offended easily and the list goes on without even a hint to stop and asking me a question, " Do you agree with all of that when we slice you into pieces and in boxing you personality and character?" Are you ok with that? this is the typical reaction of wondering mind like me as questioning sometimes is not supposed to be.
In my way of freedom I do believe, each one of us is created differently and we haven't to be formed the way others ask us to be. In my way of freedom, knowing your true self is more important than being sliced by views that want to see you that way not another. Freedom means you are adult and responsible and went through so many experiences that formed you the person you are right now.
In the way to freedom I embrace individuality within the group, being different does not mean you are a threat or an enemy to someone else. Getting to know who you are and what you are equipped for with complete faith and assurance that is how God created you and yet sometimes some don't like that as this is how the human nature works within us, when we don't like someone in particular and trying to get rid of him/her , her lies the deep sin of the first sons of Adam , the serpent reigns the scene and the harm is done and here comes the question why when you live to be a reflection of God's image on earth this is not welcomed by everyone and they judge only the flesh.
Why is the main question to ask when hurt happens and in the middle of the hurt God covers you with His grace and love. His angels guard you and lead you through the valley of the shadow of death. Why is the exclamation to the deep pain when you witness the flames of jealousy and prejudice still find its way in the 21st century.
Few weeks ago there were shewing gum spread on my car , then almost 11 days a car hit me and scooped the entire side of my car, the passenger side, I called the two event the spirit of 9/11 when others still carry hate and anger from people like me came from the Arabic world. Individual hard reactions to express the anger for something they only heard about it , they were not part of it. So judging one person with someone's else crime and both are crimes against humanity. I can not consider there are far away from reflecting this hidden hate and anger toward us Arab people .
As a stranger in a foreign land i have been met with both angels and the normal typical world who is blinded with false Media and feeding of bad thinking toward others. That is a whole world change game when someone believe blindly of what has been told to them and they love to see someone get hurt if they are not bad people .
At this time of the year yes, the flame of anger about 9/11 do strive inside many around , just like many other stories in different parts of the world where wars and conflicts strive. The question that presented itself why there is no openness about such deep hate/ anger feelings openly and having interfaith dialogue instead of expressing them aggressively in the ways that hust someone like me seeking her freedom of faith and choice here on US Soil. The land that is founded on the word of God, the land that is calling the whole world to free their people and granting equal rights for their own people, the land that welcomes everybody from all over the world no matter their color is or what they believe, the land that has the heart of God to love one another and serve one another and see the human not the blindness of the darkness that destroys the peace and the beauty that once was exist.
Why always expressing hate/anger in a very harmful physical ways that harm innocents around them only judging them by race/color and faith? why setting ourselves as the evil tool to destroy the justice that can exist through embracing one another and not be that way of destructing lives without establishing them ?
With all my heart I lift the nation to God to work on each one's heart , to allow them to get rid of their hate/anger scheme and admit God's control over everything. We are not meant to seek justice through harming one another , this is not the way of Jesus. I lift the days and everything in this land to be restored by the grace of God . Still along way to see the freedom I once imagined that is exist, having hope and I'll never give up ..................
And here the labeling zone goes from one year to another and all I have to do is to live the consequences out of that frame. The stories never stop, and the patterns of consequences are getting harder to comprehend if I got it wrong from the beginning. Nevertheless, Iam not qualified enough, not talented enough, take everything personally, being offended easily and the list goes on without even a hint to stop and asking me a question, " Do you agree with all of that when we slice you into pieces and in boxing you personality and character?" Are you ok with that? this is the typical reaction of wondering mind like me as questioning sometimes is not supposed to be.
In my way of freedom I do believe, each one of us is created differently and we haven't to be formed the way others ask us to be. In my way of freedom, knowing your true self is more important than being sliced by views that want to see you that way not another. Freedom means you are adult and responsible and went through so many experiences that formed you the person you are right now.
In the way to freedom I embrace individuality within the group, being different does not mean you are a threat or an enemy to someone else. Getting to know who you are and what you are equipped for with complete faith and assurance that is how God created you and yet sometimes some don't like that as this is how the human nature works within us, when we don't like someone in particular and trying to get rid of him/her , her lies the deep sin of the first sons of Adam , the serpent reigns the scene and the harm is done and here comes the question why when you live to be a reflection of God's image on earth this is not welcomed by everyone and they judge only the flesh.
Why is the main question to ask when hurt happens and in the middle of the hurt God covers you with His grace and love. His angels guard you and lead you through the valley of the shadow of death. Why is the exclamation to the deep pain when you witness the flames of jealousy and prejudice still find its way in the 21st century.
Few weeks ago there were shewing gum spread on my car , then almost 11 days a car hit me and scooped the entire side of my car, the passenger side, I called the two event the spirit of 9/11 when others still carry hate and anger from people like me came from the Arabic world. Individual hard reactions to express the anger for something they only heard about it , they were not part of it. So judging one person with someone's else crime and both are crimes against humanity. I can not consider there are far away from reflecting this hidden hate and anger toward us Arab people .
As a stranger in a foreign land i have been met with both angels and the normal typical world who is blinded with false Media and feeding of bad thinking toward others. That is a whole world change game when someone believe blindly of what has been told to them and they love to see someone get hurt if they are not bad people .
At this time of the year yes, the flame of anger about 9/11 do strive inside many around , just like many other stories in different parts of the world where wars and conflicts strive. The question that presented itself why there is no openness about such deep hate/ anger feelings openly and having interfaith dialogue instead of expressing them aggressively in the ways that hust someone like me seeking her freedom of faith and choice here on US Soil. The land that is founded on the word of God, the land that is calling the whole world to free their people and granting equal rights for their own people, the land that welcomes everybody from all over the world no matter their color is or what they believe, the land that has the heart of God to love one another and serve one another and see the human not the blindness of the darkness that destroys the peace and the beauty that once was exist.
Why always expressing hate/anger in a very harmful physical ways that harm innocents around them only judging them by race/color and faith? why setting ourselves as the evil tool to destroy the justice that can exist through embracing one another and not be that way of destructing lives without establishing them ?
With all my heart I lift the nation to God to work on each one's heart , to allow them to get rid of their hate/anger scheme and admit God's control over everything. We are not meant to seek justice through harming one another , this is not the way of Jesus. I lift the days and everything in this land to be restored by the grace of God . Still along way to see the freedom I once imagined that is exist, having hope and I'll never give up ..................
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