The Way To Freedom

 Almost 6 years in a foreign land that open its doors to a stranger like me. It had been crazy to find yourself at a moment that you don't feel anything around you. Even the voices are meaningless. You are in another sphere of life when you almost was about to lose for your life and vanish in a very cold way.It is not a good spot for anyone to be there and yet it happened to many of us around this world and many stories are unheard as they die in a cold battle of pride. Leaving everything behind with one suite case and work visa that was the gate , the light at the end of the tunnel at that time. At that time I had no consciousness exactly what life is all about. with big question inside " Is this real life? When you have a choice and there is a heavy price has to be paid for this choice . " Is this life?

Deep down in my soul I know this is not the answer and there is another another is waiting for me to explore. Since I was little child I am connected with heavenly thread that is is hardly to explain in few words. I know I am His and my walk is with Him and He owns me and knows me better than anyone else. I had to step out in the journey of my freedom of faith and choice and that was and still is not easy to imagine. Landing in a whole different world, carrying your burdens and loads and walking through the valleys and climbing mountains to discover what life is.


In each phase of the journey you meet with obstacles, snakes, temptations, manipulations ,and so many challenges that drain you to cry out loud again to Him LORD is this what life is about? It is simple and clear that I want to have life in You for You and I don't understand how will lead me and guide me? Year after year the road comes so unclear and many good things happen in between next to many hardships as well. I come to understand how materialistic life made us to lose each other. How many are obsessed with material life not able to see the true human in you. How the race of power , authority and money can be so tricky exactly like the other side. When it comes to power and authority , humans are humans no matter where they are and what tongue they speak. I am tired of this vain race. I am out of it by choice not force. The race of owning more at the expense of others. Using people like lab rats to get the best out of them then throw them away, some were trapped in their mental tiredness of being used by others, either giving their lives , become addicts or wandering aimlessly in life depressed , paranoid and lose the complete sense of life. This is the battle that they name it success, a bloody road, rising stars line never ends, using minds for targeted purposes and then get rid of them so hard and harshly as each lab rat has to leave the lab with so many sicknesses and labels, yes this is part of the journey when you understand that there is now inevitable truth, no straight forward policy for human rights. It is the survival game, who lasts , the strongest. who is able to suck the best of others and leave them under the bus.


That is not a good vision of a healthy life and yet ,the lifestyle that forces humans to make such choices. Many rising stars want to be successful , rich , controlling and no end for this journey as there is always who will be in desperate need and no where else to go but to be used. Again the game of survival,  Coming back to the question " What is life?"  Distractions will be in your way and being busy what are these distractions could mean will lead you to another desperate status. No healthy life there. Be aware of you , be aware of what you want. Listen to His voice when He wants to redirect you and yet the battle of life won't end always there someone is awaiting to take a piece of you. If you are not aware of your life that is the outcome of your life, being used and you will lose yourself along the time. The patterns are repeated with different faces and places, yet you come to know them and say hello " Will you stop please and be aware of the human that is called me?"

Wasting time and wasting years, it is all coming back to you. You allowed the voice of false teachers and snakes to tear you apart and you here come to a stop," Excuse me, No more labeling , walking away, carrying your load and turning over and over to Him." Believe in Him and trust in Him is the ultimate goal for something you are deeply asking about," What is life?" Life is Him being your number one calling and living. Life is to be free to be without shackles from humans that couldn't see who you are, a precious creation in Him. Life is everything He has created for each one of us and no one else can create such beautiful grace within the whole universe but Him. He is Mighty , Powerful and has all the authority so what else can be like that. Life is the breath He is giving you you each single day and waiting for you to receive His gift for you and breathe gratefulness and thankfulness in each step He walks you through the road of life. Life is our daily bread is given to us by Him.  Life is the many wonders He put inside of you and asking you to look at them, bring them out to the world to see and hear to know who is the owner of all of this. Life is you so come to know who you are that what pleases Him.

Life is to be free to choose , to praise, to walk with no fears or condemnations from whoever wants. Walk in His grace, walk in His abundant love as He is with you . Walk in His kindness that surrounds you, He is carrying you and put you where you could experience His presence. The Way to freedom is not rosy. it is filled with thorns,trials and tears.he sees all of that, He knows all of that so give it all back to Him for He cares for you. He watches over you.Be aware of His presence into your life. Be His servant that gave Her life as paying forward of thankfulness for being His. Stand your ground, He sees your heart, he is giving you , your own special conversation, a tone that only both of you could understand, a father and daughter rhythm. Father and daughter connection, heavenly connection. His voice is echoing in my soul that Iam not what had happened to me, Iam His and He put life in me.

Walking my way into the true meaning of being free and having life in the name of Jesus Christ. My lord and savior who carries me in the storms and turns them into very unique songs. To Him goes all The honor and glory. To Him all the praise.   By " Manal Eweis , The old ancient woman"  

Keep Moving ,Never Give Up Which Are True And Which sometimes Not

As any new believer in Jesus Christ , when you think that you found the truth and nothing else is around . You see the world with an eye of a child , trusting in anyone mention the name of Jesus , you pour yourself to them . You think that you reached the unreachable truth and here you understand everything and you are happy that Jesus rescued you and you are living in the angelic world where everybody is happy because they know Jesus or let me be correct they say the name Jesus . That is huge difference , knowing Jesus and getting used to mention the name Jesus in your every day dialogue , two different worlds .....


What made you be like that , at the beginning of our faith Journey , when we are rejected , wounded and thrown out in the open , your wounds don't allow you to see the reality and to understand what is going on as the pain is deeper than you can fathom . Once you were on a trip , on a plane knowing where are you going and who you are and at a sudden the unwanted happened , the plane crashed , you are not dead , you found yourself alive ,covered in the wounds and the panic after the crash , the good Samaritan shown up , showed God's mercy and care for you ,agreed to take you in , unknowing what next could be .... moving from one place into the other , telling your story even when you don't understand what is going on , all you know that you are alive , yet you don't know what to do , hide in a church or live in a church and not being seen again and even though what do you mean by living in a church . God brought you so far , different nation , tongue , culture and the way of living , who are you in the new land is blank , no identity , no real life can be lived . flying like a blank paper trying to know who you are .... a grown up woman with zero knowledge of who is she anymore , the journey is not clear before her eyes , tears , meltdowns and trying to survive , take the moment that is before her hand and only be open , telling her story even it is one million pieces scattered all over the place .


The way I keep remembering these moments after the plane had crashed , that they never leave your memory , they are flashed back each time you are faced of old patterns from the past that at the time you are experiencing them again ,you couldn't remember till the hurt happen again and you , yourself allowed the snares of the serpent to eat another piece of you , not learning from your past when you lost everything and being out in the open , don't know where you are or what is going to happen next . The smack happens over and over when we forget the ones from the past and believing that we are all the same . Good Samaritans do exist and they are in our lives to prove God's gracious goodness , love and mercy around us , when we fall ,He carries us and allowing us to pick ourselves and keep moving on . When you forget about who is the only one to trust , the serpent finds her way to sting you over and over and rob you of all blessings you are blessed with as she walk with envy , jealousy , covetousness and boiling hate of what God had blessed you with . Her voice is so soft even using bible verses and Jesus name so when you are alone , and weary here she comes to take away what you have got . She is there not to help you or carry you at the time of your need , she is there to rob you of what is left in you . Take it for her own ,getting more fatter and sparkling before the world .

The smack is really hard each time , the more you grow older , weaker and helpless , the more she is getting strong . So ,  giving up is the only way you can find to survive , no way out as the reputation already weaved around you , leaving you tangled with so many hurt , bleeding and stumbling in each lie has been weaved around you . Moving on is like curving in the mountain with one hand .Hard to speak out and hard to bring justice into your life . It is you who believed and invited the serpent to dwell in your life , the smooth voice and skin that took hold of you at the time of your brokenness . Standing alone , stranger , facing each storm with the word of God , your only salvation and in who I can only trust .

Good Samaritans do exist and yet they are not for you 24/7 , God put them into your life for a specific time till you get your strenght back and you have to go back into the world again as this is the real world and as an adult you have to take responsibility of your own life and accountable for each thing goes wrong into your life due to your choices and even when you invite the serpent into your life , it is your choice and you have to take responsibility of this choice . Knowing to who you belong . God gives you a whole new life for a reason . A new breath and new mind to see and understand His will for you on earth . You are not meant to be eaten alive , you are not meant to be a victim and allow with your own choices the serpent to rob you out of your life , don't be deceived over and over , it is like addiction to be used and abused by wrong people in our lives , pick yourself up , know your worth and keep your self alert of the deceit of the serpent around you . She won't stop her plot against you , as this is how her heart is shaped not leaving its prey till the last breath is out of her flesh , her she goes away looking for more and more preys to kill , destroy and all she promise is the end of life while Jesus promised us of a whole new life, a life in him , for him with him and His promises are true , he never breaks a promise , so sad to understand that not everyone is mentioning the name of Jesus , do know Jesus personally , like any other religion in the world using the name of God to get what they want out of life and this is not the way of Jesus . We are meant one body , one spirit , one church , one baptism , one faith , one hope in our calling , One Lord , One God ,One Father of all who is above all , and through all and all    . Be aware of the voice of the serpent , false teachers and the snares of the enemy . Pick yourself up , move on and know who you are partner with , The Only One who created you in His image , be one in Jesus Christ , Move on knowing that you are climbing the mountain of faith and to be united with Him through the holy spirit that is given to us in Jesus Christ . That is my heart that is for Jesus and my life that he has given to me for Jesus .    

A Story On The Road Of Faith

Remembering all those who walked with me in my desperate times .Remembering those who stretched their hands to help me without knowing me . Remembering all the students and kids that loved me unconditionally , that is a huge blessings .  How remembering all  the good things that happen along the road can help you to carry yourself in the time of confusion and wondering . When you find yourself doing what you think is right , do what you say , fulfilling what you promised to do or offer . In times , when you know deep that your are the outsider not the insider , yet keeping going , never stop that what give the journey a meaning and a sense .



The more you push yourself forward to overcome fears , pain and breaking the image of stereotypes that have to be . Each story has to follow the same line of events , results and the way they have to be . This is not the goal of God creating us here on earth , to be one type or follow one pattern of life , in order to be , or accepted or belong . Being aware of how others think or feel about you and ,you keep pushing yourself not to believe any of the enemy's lies  in your head . Reading faces , eyes is a gift from God . All the looks that stabbing you in the heart are telling me one thing , keep moving never stop. My journey is deep than any one else . A voice reminding me of God's promise " Fear Not for I am with you . I will never leave you nor forsake you ." A wonderful assurance to call back when you feel that judgement can   tear you down . When you read all the false lies and refuse to believe them or act up on them . it is always about the controlling theory , if you couldn't control someone , you can control them by how others can see them and here lies the destruction of human souls . How many would like to believe the bad and act up on it not the good ? How many failed to let others to love them and started to be the one not letting others be loved . The sin of jealousy , authority , power and money , allow us to put each other down , not lifting each other up . No one feels your pain but God as He sees you and knows you by name , your journey is with Him .


Walking on the high road not the easy one , teaches you how to hold on His promises . Witnessing His goodness in everything around , nothing but the good you want to let it in into your system , refusing to go through and drama around . Walking in His peace and love , knowing that He cares for you no matter how others let you down . Taking your load and burden to Jesus , He carried it for you , so you don't have to carry it over and over , He knows what you suffer from and what you long to ,so keep your eye on Him , He is making all things new . Taking you step after step up to the mountain to overcome as He did . This won't happen unless you surrender all yourself to him and dwell in His promises , peace and love . Stop getting angry of others actions and attitude towards you .He sees you differently as he knows who you are and what you do, so surrender to his guidance and listen to His voice who is calling you .


Wasting my time on negative things that happen , takes me down , not lifting me up so why allowing the defeat to break you down again , I know there is no good there as I have been there before years and years till He open my eyes to see him , my mighty God and my creator , who shall not want . Nothing keeps alive than doing his will . He put a seed in your hand and waiting for you to sow it ,care for it and nourish it with His word , that is your soul . Never underestimate His creation for you, lift yourself up when the world puts you down , there is so much good in the universe to see to explore and learn from ,so why allowing yourself to the wrong direction and you know how and where to get to the right road trip that has your name on it , made only for you and it is a master piece of His creation to me on earth . Breaking all the stereotypes that occur before , leaving each one wondering , For heavens sake , what she thinks she is or what is doing nothing but crazy and make no sense and yet God sees me and knows me and He understands what I did , do and will do as it is all written even I am in my mom's womb so it is all about Him .My story , my journey and all routes He will call me for .  

Undiscovered Soul

It is more than 9 years now since the journey of discovering my existence and the meaning of it . A very unique and strange journey , taking me into the deep waters of life . Like a dream of fairy tales where many things doesn't make any sense and reveals that undiscovered world within us first .

Each year of this journey provided a lesson to learn and acknowledged a world  that already exists and I had no idea about it . Like the process of hard labor , very smoky cloudy blockage before you . Pieces of unexplained puzzles , scenes of intimidation where giants won and you are the little guy that is diminished under the pressing hands and hard hearts for your fragile structure , no foundation to settle in . Imagine a person who can't breathe or speak out as the blockage of streams and outlets to let the air in . Heavy to move , paralyzed to make a decision or taking a step a head . Can you imagine a person like this?  Remembering that stone in one stag of my life , I know how far I walked and crossed , heavy dust storms and winds.

Taking a step out of such under the remains of a demolished life was step of faith and allowing His spirit to carry you away , to walk another step with the unknown . Getting out of the gated walls and being in the open wide world . Wandering with astonishment and unaware of so much things what do they mean and why they happen . Yet , no way , unable to choose or make a decision as you can't . Truly you can .So as a blind kitty has to follow the smell of her mother to help her to see the world , the new world she is in till the time comes and the kitty is able to open her eyes to see the world around and for sure imagine what the natural thing everybody notice ? The kitty is running all over the place and all she knows at this point that she wants to know the whole world in a short time as now she can see .

This uncontrolled behavior of the kitty started to be irritable for the grown up around and her her joy turned into a very deep dark trial that she wasn't ready for or knew about . The joy turned into shattering herself and drawing herself from the arena as she wants to understand what wrong she did and how to make it right . The isolation became her close friend towards another step in the journey to discover herself ,her soul and her existence within the universe around . Sorry universe for being an unwanted noise or company to be around . Sometimes being the black sheep in the middle of semi-groups of people ,really does not sound good . So, you have to carry your differences and disconnected to understand yourself first and to belong to yourself first so you will reach this point of soul connection within you .  

What a step to take and learning in the open big world about your true self and to enjoy this journey and how far it will take you and accept your conclusions and take responsibilities of them that means alot .   You deserve this journey as you don't want to lose yourself once again . Picking up your brokenness no matter happened before ,it is going to to make sense one day . Never forgetting who carried you till now and even then . It is a journey to unfold the mystery of such complicated life that is crazy and sound weird for the peaks and mountains within . Keep going , never stop as you are worthy of existence

and you are made for something .   he created you , be united with your mind , body and soul .