Blissful Living.... the walk and realization of inner core of living

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     Witnessing the changes in life around you, you remember the smile of a child, the shout of adolescence, the running of a youthful life through the open nature, creating the sense of owning a million lives, a realization of the beauty naturally created within the drops of water, the running streams of pure water, the growing greens in the valleys and they shape a tapestry like no other, the sensation of the endless beauty of the natural world, all you want to do is to connect to the natural world around, forgetting all the chaos, and the conflicting message keeps throwing the shadow of the human suffering. That is not my world, where many things do not create life. The senseless judgments, the endless nonsense within the conflicting messages, and you do not want any more of that that takes away the beauty freely created from heaven, the inner voice of wonderful rhythm, the shout of a blissful living within the inner rhythms within, and anything do not align, you have to turn around, no place or room for more conflicting, chaotic messages and moving away from the natural beauty freely given from heaven. The mind creates lovely, blissful worlds within a world that refuses to listen to the rhythms of life; everything occurs, attuning to the rhythms of the heavenly voice. Gradually, you feel and hear what is not welcomed in the blissful world. You become so much aware of the disharmony within the tuning in GOD's greatest gift to see through humans and understand the limitations of their minds. 

     You see a different world no one else can see, you understand messages no one else can fathom as you work with the synchronicity of endless blissful living, drawing worlds of beauty no one else can see. A blissful life is happy with the simplest joy in the world, the breeze of fresh water, the sun's rays, the chirping of birds, and the running water of heavenly streams; what else can be blissful than a sense of oneness with GOD. There is a constant prayer in His creation, a constant holy hymn. Nothing else can attract the mind within the conflicting, chaotic world. The chanting nature of holy words and the heavenly voices rejecting all that does not belong to blissful living. Breaking free from a chaotic, conflicting world can happen when you believe you have to stand your ground. You must know your value; you must resist all the waves trying to put you down, control, and block your way to life. You have to stand your ground. You have to walk the walk of a blissful life. It is not an easy way where everyone wants the best for one another, but the opposite waves try to put you down. You can see, hear, and understand it, yet holding on to GOD's promises is all you have. 

       The blissful life is your right; GOD has put it within your soul. No matter what, fear not, for He is with you. Listening to His endless calling to stand your ground, chaos, and conflict are here to teach you lessons about what is valued, what is important, and what is essential with a synchronized blissful life. No matter the heavy waves that come your way know that GOD is greater than any other. He is assuring you to keep moving in His light, for He is worthy, and He is able like no other to guide you through no matter the chaos and conflict around you, so do not hold on to the world's bitterness and embrace His bliss and protection over your life. Peace!!! By: ME," The old ancient woman." 

Stillness..... despite the noise......

 

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       When the noise becomes overwhelming, and the deception of modern life continues to play an old scenario and never realize that it repeats itself, stillness is the action that has to take place. When opposition and accumulated waves of unwanted scenarios occur, stillness is the action that has to take place. Wherever you live, work, or relate, if it doesn't care for your being, stillness is the action that has to take place. When the land has been given freely from GOD to dwell, is being abused, and humans are denied the right to life with dignity and integrity, stillness is the action that has to take place. Taking life for granted and people for granted is the evolution of the absence of fairness, justice, and reliance on temporary gains, ignoring human value and existence in a world that seeks ongoing conflicting scenarios to exist. There is no peace in life like that. The days when peace, safety, and walking around the world with a sense of security and stability come to a shaky time when ambiguity reigns the common sense. Displaying images and schemas that are far away from the truth. Images are only images. Fakeness surmounts the truth of having a safe life within a world full of contradicting messages and separation from the self, which are the core beliefs of one nation under GOD. The actual human is lost within an unfair equation of existence. If the person plays by the rules, there is no guarantee of having a life of dignity and integrity. There will be sizing up at each step of the way; humans are not seen as humans anymore. Disruption in everything used to be once familiar. 

         Installing the sense of an unsafe world to exist. Looking from the outside, watching conflicting messages, words, and images, unable to understand all this. It is exhausting to think about. Therefore, stillness is the action that has to take place. Forcing humans to think in a specific way to be accepted or included. Avoiding the hard conversations and pushing everyone in the way they relate. Isolation, fear, and lack of safety are the goals of the world that strive for conflict, confusion, and isolating those who seek a life that nurtures their soul and honors GOD at each step of the way. When isolation becomes a designed strategy, stillness is the action that has to take place. Humans become a rat lab in a natural setting. Are we any more humans, or are we returning to the animal world where survival of the fittest and natural selection are the core of modern life? 

      

      Despite the advances in technology, medicine, knowledge, and the world of artificial intelligence, humans are using them to do their natural setting experiments against the existence of those who present unwanted formulas within the grand equation of selection and survival of the fittest. Can many adults think without judgment, labeling, and isolation? Can many walk freely in life without putting rules that will break them down? Can many adults believe that if they take responsibility for their lives, they will be honored and respected without mocking and ridiculing them? We live in a world where dysfunction is the norm, and human life is in question; why have we reached this state of isolation and segregation in the artificial world. The fear is overwhelming, and lack of safety becomes the norm. Harming others left unnoticed and ignoring all the blessings given freely from GOD. When everything is overwhelming, stillness is the action that must occur. When safety is a question, stillness is the action that must occur. When nothing makes sense, stillness is the action that has to take place. As we approach another year, humans must ask themselves why they are here on Earth? Who do you seek or pursue to have an authentic life? Will conflict, chaos, and ambiguity be your goal? So, that is not the world GOD has made from the beginning. I am exhausted of the fakeness and exhausted of hoping that the world will change, as there is a question now that has to be answered about what humans mean. And why are they here on Earth? I started to question everything and wondered when fakeness reigns? Do humans truly exist, or do other concepts of living exist? 

    When the morning comes, I ask myself what it means to be a human? And what are they supposed to do in a life freely given by GOD? What is the most appropriate action in times of chaos, conflict, unrest, and ambiguity? The only word that came to my mind is stillness, like a breeze of refreshing air, reminding me of the presence of GOD and that He will always be there for me. Peace!!!!

As the spirals differentiate...... the perception of the time and space present new horizons

 

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  Each child's existence on earth was once a moment of two adults, and this moment is determinantal to last many years once the child exists in the world. Some came as a lust for a lavish life, some as a normal design of society, some by accident, and others intentionally. While intentionality has its own spiral as well, some come to be used as a tool of living, some come as revenge for being on their own, others come for having life around two first who intentionally want to have life together and understand what life means for themselves and to the children they love to bring to life, and these are the scarcity of modern life. As I grow older, life becomes something different from what I thought I knew, was taught, or experienced. Walking the path of rough pathways, witnessing the calamity of humanity losing the essence of what life means, what a human means, and what being alive means. From the dysfunctional of the roots to more complex relationships and structuring damaging life, where understanding the value of self was lost within the spiral of doing like millions are doing, behaving like everyone behaving, pretending so you can survive, do what they ask you do or the punishment will follow, the life of fear, expectations, and self-denial dissolving within the spiral of delusional thoughts, dreams, and perception of what may sound or seem as a reality forgetting the core of yourself, and gradually falling under the influence of every wave comes your way. 

      Dysfunctional becomes the norm; healthy is a foreign word. Saying yes to humiliation and abuse or punishment will follow. The reptilian brain takes over each action, decision, or step in the animal brain. It is tiring when humans forget to dissolve within the dysfunction and harm. A lot of questions on the way of the wilderness of life, primarily girls and women, fall short of the abuse of the world to their existence, body, and soul, and influencing how they think, act, behave, and relate. It is sad to see how adults play a critical role in the lives of the young; whatever is perceived as the norm will be repeated and expand into good, bad, or ugly. It is interesting to understand that even if a child has a certain predisposition for the bad, the environment plays a critical role in suppressing these bad characteristics or traits or facilitating their manifestation. Suppressing the voice of the choice of what you want and honoring that whatever has been planted across the way finds its way through adulthood won't give you any chance to act upon what has been lost. The moment the child feels abandonment, disassociation, avoidance, and detachment, it changes the world around them. 

     As I grow older, I understand what I allow to happen and that life mainly does not reflect my true self, sticking in the cycle that dysfunction is the norm. What has been planted from generation to generation without giving yourself a chance to think, is this what I want? If the overwhelming state of fear that when you choose what is best for you, you will be punished, and here shrinking, alienation, and maladaptive behaviors become the norm, follow each choice a human will make and influences the damage that takes place, and it is hard to replace. Even societies rarely consider that change could occur. In boxing humans in the same pathway that harmed them and repeating patterns of dysfunctional spiral events of daily life, the perception of time and space brings the human to the moment of fear, punishment, and denying themselves to meet the expectation of whatever control the moment, moments of unease, and discomfort. Moments of hardships, taking a breath, and all the escape toward everything can numb this overwhelming state, being stuck, not finding a way out, and going into void spirals within the fear and the dysfunctional norm. 

      When the dysfunctional perception about life and the world, everything the human is attracted to is dysfunctional, increasing the spiral of harm and loss of life, as the human forgets they are humans or even they have the right to be human controlled by the desires, the flesh, and how everything looks like from the outside, the delusion and the bait of the world and ignoring to make a reality check. As dysfunction is the norm, it is easy to deceive and play around without honoring human life. It is sad to witness the oppression of adults to adults and children who have no fault in the dysfunctional world around them. It is a choice to reverse the cycle, and few are intentionally dedicating their lives to reverse the dysfunction; however, the work is hard, and it is only their responsibility to make a choice or keep going through the spiral of deceit and oppression of the voice, the being, the right of life. 

     The older I get, the more I understand how the choice can be the point of turning around or turning toward the same dysfunctional life that misshaped their realities, distorted their identity, separated the self from what they have to accept and dwell in fear of constant punishment, stress, control, and lack of choice, there is no way out, breathing tightly and walking with a burden of nonexistence, and have no right. This brokenness alienates humans away from life. It is not a good place to dwell in or be misshaped by it; it takes decades of life, where few escape the cage of human suppression of others' voices. To every child misshaped by the dysfunctional life of adults, I apologize. I hope you will one day be able to stand up for yourself and declare your right to have a life of your choice. Don't expect the dysfunctional life will ever change, it is a loop feeds on other dysfunction, It is up to you to understand that unhealthy dynamic, and saying a loud NO for keeping yourself in a spiral will never change. Find your inner voice, and never undermine the small steps you take toward a healthy life and your chosen life. Peace!!!, By: Me, "The old ancient woman." 

Undecided..... Confused...... and the Perception of the world around

 

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         Hello there; it is the time of the year for more self-reflection and re-evaluation. Have you given yourself permission to do so? Or are you still distracted by the input from the world around you that primarily doesn't represent you or relate, or do you have to take it in? How many thought that they could understand everything and everyone around them, yet years prove something totally different when layers of onions peeled year after year, and you may grow older and older when returning to the point of security, safety, and trust once was. I call it the stage of purity and being surrounded by those who care about your being and are happy to have you as part of their life, or you walk in a community where you feel the sense of bliss and joy that gradually this sense has been taken away. Perception and reality collapse through experiences, and a pattern is shaped as you walk in life, thinking that you are part of the world around you and that you are all the same. You had the perception that the world around you is what it seems, sounds, says, feels, and perceives. You remember one day you were able to be yourself and walk with confidence that you can be. Yet, this world was protective and structured where once you grow as a child. Teen, and going to college for the first time. Your classmates were what they say and live, and you shaped some conditioned perceptions of what it means to be a boy or a girl. However, you have an open mind for the world around you. Creating ideas and things and enjoying the process of creating new things that were once you when it mostly wasn't known or existed till you made a form to it. That was once you. 

       The joy to see a new world, a positively changing world. However, the adult world differs from this naive, pure filter of the world and its meaning. Adults have a different perception of the world as they understand the power of grouping and alignment with what provides the chance to attain their goals regardless of how, when, who, and what can occur in between. It is not milestones anymore, blocks of development, the joy of curiosity and discovery. Finally, you realize other determinants in the adult world based on where you are, who you surround yourself with, socioeconomic class, political, religious affiliation, and racial advantage. Interesting, isn't it. The pattern gets more interesting with gender, age, sex, language, culture, and ethnicity. Also, it is tight within the same sociocultural groups and gender parameters when the first perception contradicts current experiences, and humans love to shape familiarity with situations, people, and places to access directly when needed heuristically. Many adults think they got it right. They are the winners, and we go further down the road; a collapse between the heuristic knowledge and newly presented, unfamiliar information or scenario occurs. The world, for the first time, looks unfamiliar and brings confusion, questions, stress, anxiety, and even anger. Let me repeat the last word, "ANGER," with capital letters as something more interesting occurs. 

       It is based on how the person used to experience their anger, where they are, who they are surrounded with, the function of anger, and the purpose sought at that time or even brewing for a long time. The behavior manifests, bringing all negative trapped thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and emotions, with all the categories defining the world around them: gender, sex, age, race, etc. The behavior reflects these heuristic patterns to get frustration and unwanted emotions or cause harmful effects on those who happened to be in place and who have never been in the first negative or bottled anger shape. Yet they represent the opposition group, unwelcomed group, or targeted group. In adult age reflexive behaviors, a person, one person, represents the culture, background, country, socioeconomic class, gender, race, sex, and color, and this only one person is punished on behalf of who they once happened to be part of this sector of representation of the population. The pure, naive image of the world suddenly has gone from the present world. It turned to the adult formula about the world and life, where they are, who they are surrounded with, and defined inner-group agendas, ignoring the choice of individuals who only live seeking to do good in the world, keeping the pure picture, curious about making positive change and are surprised they are judged by their background, the country they came from, and find themselves in scenarios are foreigners from what they belief, or perceive. 

             Confusion in adult life results in an undecided and unwillingness to put effort into anything, as the equation of human life was deleted based on the chaos the world is going through year after year, forgetting GOD in the image. When you are in a state of confusion and uncertainty, give yourself the permission to be undecided and unwilling to engage or respond to anything around you that carries terrible intentions toward the human being. It is a sign of self-respect to be undecided. When realities, perceptions, beliefs, and real intentions contradict one another, stay neutral and undecided and give yourself a chance to process all these chaotic messages that keep sending their way unto you. Remember, everything that comes from GOD is good; only humans harm humans. When you lack sincerity in words, actions, or perceptions, give yourself permission to stay neutral as you deserve GOD's lovingkindness. When actions are meant nothing but to belittle you, remember who is greater than the whole world.

      We live in challenging times; wars never end, human greed never stops, and the value of humans is still in question. It is never about the land that GOD once gave freely to subdue and prosper; it is more about who is in and who is out. It is never about inclusion; that won't be the reality of lives for more than seven thousand years. It is about selection and seclusion. Groups rise, and groups go down, and change is the dynamic parameter in human life. It is becoming clear that humans will remain in conflict battles and not see GOD's creation in others or live and let live; many will remain in their resettlement, unrest, conflicting mind and soul as long as it serves a goal and an intention they want to achieve. We come to an age where peace is a foreign word; living and letting live is another struggle. Whether neutral or not, remember you are being perceived by the people you came from. The theory of individualism does not exist anymore. Give a chance to reflect, re-evaluate, and rethink what the value of life is, how you honor God in this creation as HE created man in HIS image, what this means to you, and be courageous enough to invite HIM to be your guidance and protector in a chaotic life, and remember GOD is good. Peace!!!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

It is time to reset your mind..... reflect, rethink and re-evaluate. It is worth it

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         It is the season to reflect, re-evaluate, and re-think how the months and days of the year allowed us to experience. Is there something new, or did your year go through the same old you? Have you seen yourself growing older, and you have left way long years behind. Some were good, some were shaky, and others in between, like dancing on the stairs, one step forward, ten steps back. That's life. However, there are moments that we hope to relive and make different choices. It is said that childhood trauma is a neurological injury that sets your systems on the fight-flight-freeze, fawn response. It shapes a pattern of shaky relationships, many has taught us hard lessons, yet we go back to wishful state, with hopes and dreams thinking that by changing places faces something is different, forgetting the real thing that is you. Places, times, and faces may trigger an old pattern that disrupts the biological systems running on the fight-flight-freeze and fawn response. Thinking that your trauma is known only by you, thinking that it is your load, you have to carry it through. You think as you grow older, everything will faint and become a turning sheet to write a new one of your own that only fits with you, not taking others' stories with you. 

     Your immersion in your story means that you become unaware of the places, time, and faces that will seize the opportunity and misuse your trauma to shake your grounds and write a different story from the one you once thought you had the right to do. You missed the point that some strive on others' wounds, pain, and aches and manipulate the situations to get what they want only because your trauma feeds their pride and ego, and they strive for more. You open your life to waves of ups and downs, like racing in the shaky valley without guidance or understanding what all this is about. Once you think you can dream and make your dream come true, you are unaware that your dream will be taken away and become someone else's reality. You are kept in the corner of nowhere as you are an easy target, and you are nobody, no one cares about your dream, or you don't have the right to have one as if you are fading into nowhere, no faith, no belief. It is a tough place, the hardest place for anyone to ever be. 

       

     Growing older allows you to see more than you can ever imagine. You can see the same games of delusion, the same manipulation at different times, and different faces, yet the pattern is the same. Your dreams, hopes, and wishes are someone else's reality. And walking the route a million times, different places, times, and faces, yet the pattern is the same, and you become the audience to watch everything flee in the space of nowhere. The delusion of having a world that believes in your dream and makes it your own without the fear it will be taken away again and again. The pain and the separation from the world is the way to go without voice, without the desire to keep pursuing what you thought once was yours. The flow of ideas, actions, and conversations without a meaning or purpose to catch. It is a tough place to remain in it for a long time. However, it wasn't your choice. The trauma drove the schema, the scenarios, and the gain of who wants to win, and the other is always a winner who makes others' dreams theirs, and no one cares. It is life when trauma is misused and abused, ignoring the human in you and making an object out of you, like the dry waters in a shallow lake thinking that there was water one day, dwelling on this past image, forgetting the present as it makes you remember your pain. 

  

     Be aware that taking you out of your dreams and hopes is the only game everyone wants; you played a role in this as you haven't believed that you have a right to think, dream, and pursue your dreams as GOD's creation and will for you. It is you who gave up on yourself, allowing everything around you to control you and keep you in a corner of the unknown. Not everyone wishes you well or wants the best for your life. Life is a battlefield where plants and weeds have to fight battles without a specific goal when chaos, struggle, and walking on shaky grounds become the norm. Things happen, yet you are the only one who has to wake up and understand that once you give a chance for your dreams to be others' reality, you give up on yourself, so don't blame anyone but yourself. You put yourself down and ignored to true self, you neglected your value and your right to make your dream come true, do not expect everyone will push you toward your dream. It is only you who has to take responsibility and walk it through. Maybe it is a wake-up call to see GOD's creation within you. Maybe it is time to silence all the attempts to take everything out of you and leave you void and trapped in the unknown. Maybe it is a wake-up call to understand that rules are made to make some reign and others prisoners in a world that once thought stands for the free. To break your mind chains, alleviate your pain, don't wait on anyone to do it for you, take your responsibility and trust GOD in the unknown, keep moving, keep walking, and it is time to reset your mind on GOD's creation within you. HE knows you more than anyone else as HE made you the way you are, your are not your trauma, your are not what happened to you, you are you, simple as that. Put down all the burdens you carried through the years, and know that whoever wounded you, they were wounded first. Hurt people hurt people, yet healed people heal people as they know it is worth it. Opening your mind to GOD's healing and care for you is a blessing. He made you the way you are, so once again, it is time to reset your mind and let the healing begin. Peace!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

Stories Untold, and the space between

 

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     One day, she looked at the world from a joyful place where all the good was around. Something was installed in her that keeps showing up in all the chapters of her life. She thought trust could easily exist and everything was exactly as it was. It was a fairy tale that only lived within her mind. Her smile, love for the world, and life were not something she could ever think would bring her to the darkest routs, trials, and tribulations, pushing her for who she is, and challenges and struggles start to roll through her life. The shock was heavy as every time she forgot, the challenges brought her to the place of punishment and happiness to see her struggle and doing nothing but going from one valley to another valley with all the scars leaving their print on her life. Trying to stand still, the reality brought her to the repeated scenario of running for over a decade. Only how she looks, talks, and does life does not please hundreds around. 

     Once, she thought there was something called freedom and that she had a right to have a life. Yet, there are hundreds whom she had no idea about their lives making the decisions of how her life has to be, and she found herself like a shadow, moving without a life inside. She became a shadow in the peaks of racial hate and trials. The thing she tried to bring to life is the same thing that used to break her down. She allowed many to step over her life without doing anything. Decades and years passed, and the moment when she was shattered, she came to meet herself in the dark shadow of human hate, jealousy, and betrayal of her life. Her scars are not enough, her challenges are not enough, and her slight thought of freedom is not her right. Finally, realizing that we are still in the world of slavery within different colors and backgrounds. Life is like a shadow in her mind; nothing is real or true, and the main thing is to keep walking in the shadow. The trials are meaningless as they reflect the weakness of the human flesh; if they can't control and own the life of someone, bring tribulations into their life so they will live in the shadow of life, afraid to speak or be seen as they are sure their presence is not pleasant for somebody. 

   She became afraid that her smile would trigger another peak of jealousy around her and the deliberate trials to bring her down. She realized there is nothing called human or respect for human life. She realized that as a woman, it has allowed many weak souls to tear her down and leave nothing but questioning: do we truly believe in the presence of God? Do we see humans in HIS image? Or do you see the human in me as an opportunity to take advantage of and break me down? The question is why some women are destined for hate from others and make their lives like a nightmare while others can have a normal life? Are we created to have a voice despite age, gender, race, culture, beliefs, language, ethnicity, sociopolitical, or socioeconomic status? Can we find a world where we can be without fear that someone at the corner somewhere keeping an eye on us to isolate and break us down? Many things don't make sense when life becomes a thing that has no taste or meaning. It is useless to think about, and we blame others for being in a complicated space, ignoring that we live in a world where freedom is a foreign word. Other terminologies took place where taking away the dreams of others is beneficial for some, as it allows them to enjoy the labor of those who believed once there was freedom in this world. It is another lesson to learn the realities around us. It is tough to believe or trust anything. Bringing struggle into the lives of those you can not control is your optimal joy. And that is not from GOD. Man-made laws and rules to bring struggle into humanity are not from GOD. She walks in a world where nothing can be believed. She walks on the thorny, unknown surface, trying to figure it out. There are many voices and silences, many stories untold, and many shared struggles that are kept inside the fears projected in life. What is true and what is not is a question left to the days that requested her to move on and know that there is GOD. Peace!!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman."