Unbiased mind and the flow of life.....

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      Can you imagine another year will almost be behind the world's actions, thoughts, feelings, initiatives, or stagnation? No matter where you are now, you are still hopeful of change. Change in politics, change in socio-economic inflation, change in relationships, jobs, careers, or even change in how you perceived life before and now. It can be an exhausting chapter in your life, or there could be some mixed changes, positive and negative ones. It can be a painful season for one and a blessed one for others. Life has not been one slice or one phenomenon. It is a matrix of mixed ups and downs, depending on where you are in the journey and who is around you; outcomes can be confusing sometimes. It can be overwhelming as you do not know what, who, how, why, where, and when. The keystone of each mile you walk in life. Or even if you do not have the transcript that facilitates the process. Sometimes, images can confuse the mind a lot. Therefore, a transcript everyone can relate to to be read, understood, and shared. However, what kind of transcript will be in your hands for the mind-brain to comprehend is the scariest part of many lives. The generational gap started to disappear as generations began to experience part of each other dynamics. 

      Remember the first years of your life when you have a radically simplified transcript from those around you and the environment. The more you grow, the more the transcript expands, and keeping the beat with it is hard. The physical and emotional response turns out to be either or. The perceived message is categorized according to race, ethnicity, religion, color, gender, sex, zip code, country, state, city, or district, language, education, lifestyle, work, and many other classifications that enabled the gap between the self and the other more comprehensive. The communication was disrupted by competition and a biased state of mind. I accept you, and what you do only if... the conditioning state of the mind anon- flexible equation if A matches B then C can happen to take place. Limited constructs with limited output and limited perception about life. Every decision is made based on biased inputs. The simple transcript was thrown away, and humans got lost in the maze of all the world constructs designed to segregate, divide, and alienate. 

      The spoken words do not match the motives, intentions, and actions. Contradictions and conflicts take place within and within the world wherever the person will go. They take the accumulated biased beliefs wherever they go, live, work, learn, play, socialize, or worship. The existence of those who do not match the limited equation brings discomfort within, accumulative desires to hurt and harm by words or actions. The biased beliefs are channeled through biased choices, decisions, and actions. The fire within created this envious soul, hate, and unrest toward everyone, which do not match the limited equation. Forgetting this was why God created all these differentiations in humans due to his frustration with humans after sending a prophet and a prophet. Still, they sought wars, conflicts, hate, and unrest among tribes and nations. GOD created this unsolvable matrix to test whether we will seek HIM or the world's ways and keep on fighting. GOD has created confusion to redirect us toward HIM after passing the test. 

     While GOD created confusion among us and differentiation in race, ethnicity, gender, color, religion, and beliefs, humans created laws based on the progression of human incivility toward one another. However, neither GOD's nor man-made laws have achieved repentance and reconciliation to the self and the other. The seeds of unrest, conflict, and frustration have been planted. Creating these two worlds, the world of peace and confusion and pain. Both exist with humans throughout their life journey. It is the passage humans have to walk. It is not a UTOPIA but a journey through the wilderness until GOD's mercy prevails. However, the confusion, conflict, unrest, and all aggregated negative emotions are within our DNA and predispose us to illness and disease. Humans inherit generational trauma within their DNA, and the environment activates these predispositions, alienating humans from being humans, living with the survival brain, animal brain, and sympathetic response. Once you interact with a person, all your past trauma is projected on that person, even if you do not belong to one another. However, the limited equation that builds the maladaptive belief system embedded in the sympathetic response is tangled in how the person thinks, behaves, and acts. People need to be put in place randomly. It is the evolution of confusion and frustration passed from generation to generation. Avoiding a conflict to find yourself in a larger row and complex to solve. The year before is like the year now. The most challenging equation is how to promote the human- human brain and act with civility toward other humans, untangle the accumulated biases, and see the true life within. 

       Conditioning primed the human world to be alert and fearful; therefore, their defense mechanisms toward one another project themselves naturally. I challenge you to find an example of non-conflict groups in the world. Could you name some groups, whether inner or outer groups, living their day without a conflict, whether declared or undeclared? A common phenomenon is self-conflicting beliefs that set the stage for conflict with others. Therefore, a state of projection leads to more maladaptive defense mechanisms. Racial conflict, cultural conflict, community conflict, workplace conflict, gender conflict, age conflict, socio-economic conflict, political conflict, religious conflict, or even brand conflict. The conflict between consumption and unmet wants and needs, between isolation and being there in the world, and conflict with choice, selection, and decision-making, hence, welcome to the human-animal brain world, the instinctive, primitive, innate world which can change how they look. However, the conflict keeps brewing from the inside, ready to hurt whenever the chance comes. 

        Hence, 2023 brings some growth into your life to help you understand the inner dynamic of the world around you. May you have some awakening to consider the human-human brain to take place into your day and promote civility among humans wherever you are. Our time on earth is limited, yet each year, you are presented with a chance to put GOD as your inner compass to promote peace, healing, and reconciliation with the self first. May conflicts stop at you and invite GOD's peace into your life and others. Peace!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

       

Holiday Season and the uniqueness of each personal journey

 

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    Holidays and all the feelings that come with it,  the rush to stores, the busyness of the to-do-list, the stress and competition around, the shows, the delays, the hushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, and the fuzziness of the to-do persona, all come in place with the holiday season. How many are starting their independent holiday season, how many are keeping the old traditions at any cost, and how many are trying to figure it out with life changes all around? How many are just fine with not showing their interest in holidays and all the worries follow, traffic, distance, workload, time off, or no time off, and we are lost with all that the world convinced us how holidays should be, and tied to this endless worries when the holiday season comes rushing in.  Even though it looks so pretty to see roads, communities, stores, and no matter where you are the season presents itself without permission from anyone. The one who was not presented is the person within the heart, mind, and soul those are no longer lives with us, those who moved away, those who never considered us part of their lives, and the shadow of the past keeps visiting when we want to move on. However, why all these heavy feelings and emotions are intense in the holiday season? What this time specifically, does it take us to past regrets or the things we missed through the busyness of life, allowing our best years to slip between our fingers like the water. 

    The holiday season is more about family, belonging, connectedness, and commitment to one another honoring the life that brought everyone together. Yet, family is not meant for everyone, some have to be their own self family and be in peace with that, it is the state of bringing yourself, the true back to yourself to be in coherence with the life you have been given freely. Our expectations from the world may be part of our own imagination, and here frustration and disappointments come into place as our minds have this ideal script about family, yet life realities present a different script. Living a life with no expectations from the world may seem far fetched image, however, it can happen after many detours, and tough lessons to learn. When you reach this state, you will realize that there are millions of scripts the world will present to you every single day, so all you need to do is to take it as it is with no questioning. As questioning will bring more confusion and disappointment. Try to be courageous enough not to question anything about the scripts presented to you. Many times we have no clue why things happen as they do? and why, we humans choose certain behaviors other than others. It is complicated. Getting to the root of the truth is something like a fairy tale so it is better to make your peace of mind a priority or you will be stressed over things out of your control. Life scripts are like a puzzle. When you figure out one piece, you get puzzled with the next piece and the process continues till you have consumed most of your mental energy leading to physical exhaustion, and accumulated sadness as you are feeling more distaned than before. The inner desire to live the meaning of family and belonging which can be tough, and confusing. And here you are faced with overwhelming emotions that may take to to places, memories, and events that left hurtful feelings in your heart and shaped or changed your perception of life. Everytime events triggers these memories. You find yourself in a place that you thought had passed. Each year more understanding is presented that the past will keep knocking on your door to keep you captive in the memories that no longer exist. The past becomes your frenemy that wants to keep you imprisoned in your pain. Your past biggest desire to see you held captive and unable to move forward. It will show itself in places, events, and conversations that will keep reminding you of the past,triggering a trauma response. You have to learn the lesson that the past won't let you go, the past gets its energy of power, and control from triggering your past. An important question you have to ask yourself is what function does it serve you when you listen to past triggers? Why do you give it power over your life, and why do you want to waste more years of your life-giving your past the same response? That may simply reflect Trauma bonding, when we survive on listening to past pain and feel exhausted, taking advantage of, used, abused, and held captive for all the dysfunctional relationships, events, places, and false expectations. 

    I understand how it hard is to break free from all these false alarms, I understand how hard have you tried to break free, and yet you come back to the vicious cycle of trauma triggers, and responses. I understand your avoidance, disassociation, escape, even aggression, or denying that functional, constructive, nurturing, healthy life ever exists. I can understand all of that and many more. Therefore, I want to join voices with you and claim a different voice that I have sometimes said it loud, "If the whole world gave up on you, never give up on yourself, you are worth it, keep trying to be kind to yourself. If the world denies your rights to life, never deny the right of your being, let it be, let it go, and start your day with the beginner mindset, practice how to be kind to yourself, with no expectations from the world around you, no promises toward anyone but yourself to treat yourself kindly, and have compassion to all have you wished have been done through your life. Each person around you has their own shadow to face, so don't worry, each has their own pain, loss, grief, and portion of life hardships. Life isn't a paradise, it is a journey filled with unwanted chapters and you are given the chance to write the present chapter the way you wished could have happened decades ago. Live life with no expectations from the world and you will reward yourself with the first step of self-care, make the season of the holiday a normal day, which may contain many activities yet not everything happening around us we have to be part of it, create your own that match who you are, where you are in your life journey, and create your own moment of joy, grace, kindness, and compassion with perspective that this is your day given freely from heaven and GOD is the ONE who is committed to your care. Therefore, GOD has given you 365 days each year once you realize this gift, choose wisely and trust HE will sustain you till you break free from all trauma and bondage that keeps tracing your steps, and life with assurance that He will sustain you, so let it be, and live your day purposefully with the intention that He is in control and His will for you is to rejoice and give thanks. Peace!!! By: ME," The old ancient woman."

    

Mindful Reflection and Navigating through a Troubled Mind ...

 

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         It is almost another year is about to close. A lot has been going on internally and eternally. Humans are not only impacted by how to manage their lives at times of uncertainties, but, the turmoils are going either politically, or socio-economically with accelerating AI technology, and a growing population that hard to get the attention they once gave to the world.  Intergenerational environments with separations of the mind Gen Z who is determined not to repeat the hardships their parents face, and take calculated steps which will bring the most benefits in less effort, and how to intelligently avoid the chaos around with keep their eye on the prize, millennials challenges with overcoming some of the past lessons and try to make up for the wasted time around doing like what others around them do or repeating the familiar path of life as being advised by either Gen X or baby boomers. it is a complex equation when it comes to those who got trapped by the vulnerability of their weak nervous system, trauma, stress, infections, heavy metal toxins, poor diet and sleep, smoking, sugar, refined and processed foods, negative relationships, and antimentor mentalities who projected their stuckness onto those with more vulnerable weak nervous systems. Human beings in a whole sum are a calculation of electrical waves, frequencies which are tied to the chemical interactions that occur on every millisecond within the body, and nutrition, sleep, movement, level of education, environment, sun exposure, pure air inhalation, and nurturing and attachments patterns are the fuel that orchestrate this state of the body homeostasis. Therefore, we humans are an electrophysiological mega computer fed upon the input and output of the context, and content of all elements mentioned about orchestrating the cell function. It is a highly defined equation stats in the Utro. By means fetus carry the foundation of these electrophysiological, and biochemical activities from many generations before, shaping their genetic predisposition for illness and sickness which can be identified earlier when there is a registry for family medical history and be discussed to see what type of interventions to reverse these genetic predispositions though the same elements mentioned above and having an open mindset for better health. 

      Unfortunately, seeking survival during wars, and economic depressions allowed commercials to find their way to humans, gradually forgetting about whole and natural food, and seeking the cheapest product presented through marketing, and invaded each pantry and house to survive by focusing on shape and taste, yet how this product will compromise the human body biochemistry and resulting in the disruption of their electrophysiology was not in the calculation. Redirecting consumption behaviors toward what is presented and eliminating the mind to think how this product will add value to my biochemistry? How much do I know about my body and its reaction toward each product? What are my deficiencies, vulnerabilities, predispositions, triggers, and things I choose, use, take, or utilize to stay within my budget? Yet, the consumption mind got attached more to social influence, and peer influence directed by the marketing psychological strategies to follow without reconsidering the outcomes, or the results a year from now or a decade from now, through acting and behaving as everyone around to attain social acceptance, fitting in, and have false sense of belonging. Even the consumption of the person's emotions in the wrong places, with wrong people that consume, drain their identity and create a troubled mind that is full of fear, doubt, anxiety, depression, and finally changing the cell function setting a good environment for physical symptoms and disease. Forgetting that your way of life, feelings, emotions, and consumption lifestyle brings health outcomes. 

         The level of suffering depends on the sum of the input and output of physiological, psychological, emotional, physical, environmental, and imitating the cultural influence reflected on personal consumption patterns to name a few that change the whole trajectory of medical and mental health, increasing the nervous system compromisation, weaken the immune system and sluggish lymphatic system, messing up the endocrine system and each organ of the body causing the tsunami on cellular level and chronic illness. When the cell function is compromised the electroneutral messages are slow, disrupted, or allowing confusion to all molecules, and receptors to go to places they are not supposed to go to , like a wandering body, doesn't know what to do under wrong messaging. 

      When we say is it medical health or mental health, which comes first? it is one of the chicken or the eggs questions and a good foundation for a research question. However, they are intertwined, Behavior is influenced by both how you feel, and meeting your biological needs by using food as fuel for energy. It looks good and smells good while using personal care products that are loaded with harmful chemicals messing up the cell function, it is building a modern house to show your accomplishments while loaded with EMF (Electromagnetic frequencies/field) due to technology) which weakens the nervous system messaging and makes people more irritable, distracted, and developing flares over their body due to overcharges within the body. It is the consumption of synthetic materials and increasing the electrostatic field disrupting the body function that may cause cancer or fragrances that increase the inflammatory response . A few examples of how human consumption behaviors and choices can set the stage for the physiological, and psychological tausanami. Physiology is not separated from the psychological factors they are together and can lead to the underlying causes, association, causation, and correlations, and allow us to consider the confounders in the equation as well. Health is a value worth investment, and making it a priority may be by taking a simple step to pay attention to the troubled mind through the input and the output of every day. How do they serve you? Do they add value to your day? Do they guide you through optimal health? or you don't want to silence the troubled mind that you got attached to the fear of no belonging or being rejected from the group? More important how do culture and group attitude have more power over your choices and decisions? And does this help you silence the troubled mind, and heal? Are you afraid to be left alone, or behind, or are you afraid to lose the fake realities that give you this delusional sense that you belong? A troubled mind creates a troubled body and deviation from what God meant for us to be. Therefore, I invite you to take time to yourself and reflect.. give yourself a change to reconnect with yourself first, to be the sound you, so you can reconnect with the right like-minded who together can guide each other to the journey of better health. Peace!! By:  ME, "The old ancient woman." 

The Forgotten Truth and the Line in Between

 

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          Days, months, years, or even decades pass and there are moments in between that are forgotten, yet when memories come back, they are still alive. Memories don't die or fade away, sometimes we intentionally choose to disassociate, ignore, or put them in a closed place where no one can reach them. Or that we, humans think it will. Furthermore, sometimes we forget that memories can run the present when realities become delusional and triggers manifest in the present actions and behaviors. Humans become more overloaded with life stressors, past trauma exposure, violence, and betrayals. Some choose to deny all that happened and store their emotions, and others shut down while others become hypervigilant, hyper-aroused, aggressive, and violently, defensive against whoever reminds them of their past trauma. Hence humans become trapped in the past and their actions impact their present harshly. Relationships fall down, maladaptive behaviors become the numbing, the escape of their overwhelming emotions, and another truth to be reminded of that the eye collects mostly 80% of sensory somatic sensations and messages. Whoever or whatever surrounds them is seen with the lens of past trauma, the sympathetic, autonomic, and limbic reactivity projecting on the present. The Psychophysiology of trauma is complex as no one on earth hasn't gone through traumatic events either in their childhood, teenage, or even adulthood. Trauma dwells in the cell membrane changing the gene expression, and the physiology of the human being, and physiology influences mental health allowing incoherence in thinking and actions. No one is immune from trauma exposure whether at home or work. Humans carry their negative experiences within them wherever they go. If we deny the role of trauma in relationship dysfunction, the high rate of workplace turnover, chaotic communications, cornering one another, and impulsivity are the norm in facing situations. Trauma manifests itself in heavy drinking, overeating, insomnia, irritable bowel syndrome, autoimmune, hypertension, and even infertility. Trauma presents itself in high violence rate, poor decision-making, or even slight headache, vomiting, nausea, or even punishing oneself. Trauma is shown in risky behaviors, inability to complete work day, or relate to anyone around. The human connection becomes either a heavy burden, avoidance, or toxic as projection in place, power struggle, conflicts, unsettled environment, and dysfunction continue till the breakdown point.

       However, on the other side, there are those who realized how trauma destroys human life and battered self, unable to stand up for themselves, yet there was a loud cry within that had the power to break this pattern of dysfunction and start to heal and restore the stolen days, years or even decades. Yet, the journey of healing is faced with new challenges as the desire to heal and restore don't align with the majority who live on traumatizing and retraumatizing those who don't have the power, authority, or materialistic standard which the world normally evaluates humans with. Their voice becomes a threat to whoever wants to keep the cycle of retraumatization as they feed on that feeling of oppressing, suppressing, and humiliating others as once done unto them. Hence projection is in place until the human themselves realize this pattern of trauma projection and influencing their life the way they don't wish to be. The voice within is more rebellious than ever, as life is a gift from God. God is the only owner of our lives, so why do humans assign themselves owners over others' lives? Again trauma manifests in relationship dynamics, choices, and decision making. Body language tells a lot about whether the person is a dominant or subordinate, the oppressor, or the oppressed, the abuser or the abused, and with every motion the eye is the data collector to sends it back to the brain to analyze the patterns and the body execute the behavior, action, or even the language earned to survive, maladapt, and stored anger from the past, and their trauma exposure. Hence, safety, trust, and rapport aren't in place, and the humans either fight, fight, freeze, or feign. The arrhythmic tone of voice, body language, and facial expression all are projecting the past not the present, taking away the hope installed within. The journey of healing brings to us the forgotten truth to control the present and delay the process of healing. However, once the pattern is identified there has to be a plan of action, determination to overcome this defeat of the past, and bring the self into the moment of the present moment and slow down, then move with steady steps no matter how slow it could be, day by day it will change the course, and will be the discourse for the future to be attentive and in coherent with your thoughts. It takes lots of determination and willingness to heal to let it be, the moment of anger, rebellious, dissatisfaction, discontent, grief, sadness, or anxiousness to be, and move on, don't deny, store, or seek numbness, let the emotions to be and acknowledge them, let them be free out of your body, thoughts, and soul and walk, keep walking it will be worth it. To acknowledge the trauma requires an inherently nonclinical relational approach prior to any further step toward resolving past trauma. While adults have to take personal responsibility to address their unresolved trauma, younger ones require someone who is ready to listen, be present, and understand where they are at, what environment they are in, and what triggers by other humans or physical environment control the day. Acknowledging trauma projection in daily communications is essential to understanding your approach to standing for yourself, don't expect someone will stand for you when you are surrounded by a trauma projections environment, and there are unresolved traumas in place, it is a lost battle. Understand your own, work on resolving them, and make sure you are not the one who is projecting onto others and retraumatizing others with no fault of their own. Seeing the world through the lens of Trauma-informed care will be a good start. Peace. By ME, "The old ancient woman." 

Wonder and looking through the unknown

 

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        Growing older can bring with it the wisdom of the years or the forgotten self along the journey filled with races, competition, and many other schemas of the human condition. How many are tuned to themselves and not allowing intergenerational conflicts and dysfunction in relationships to rule their lives? Regardless the race, ethnicity, color, age, sex, gender, and culture that brings with it rules and the blueprint of each tribe and group. Some realize that the more you grow older all that once you believed is the law of the land is no more, and facts project the complexity of dynamics and specific flow of events around humans. for myself the more I grow older I see how humans' daily schemas are nothing but delusions humans installed in their minds to govern their existence. Many times I tell myself nothing is worth it. When sickness and pain control the human conditions, pleasures become more painful and ache and meaningless. Humans chase even their shadow thinking it is something to get and no one else can get. Wasting the most beautiful gift given freely from heaven is life. The human mind is still in its infancy for science to understand, how a mind can create, invent, and change the world around them and others, and is able to carry dizzelion of schemas that harm one another and all within the chaos of overwhelm. 

     Walking the path of the unknown, experiencing things that bring many questions with it. How come those who don't know you, judge, and create a grand story about who you are, even you, you don't know exactly who you are, you are the sum of your heredity, upbringing, environment, culture, ethnicity, race, color, age, sex, gender, beliefs, or religion. All these labels weighed down the human soul, brought aches and pain, no peace with all of these labels. The more you grow older, the more you want to put down each of these labels as you seek the purification of the soul, the oneness with GOD, the simplicity of your day, and the clarity of your mind. 

    The human race spoiled many beautiful things in human life. even alienated the soul from the SELF. A sigh of wonder and looking through the unknown, how come all was, and is happening represent a complexity of sophisticated design named, human condition from health to sickness and vice versa. The human condition provided us with wonder how humans are able of all these phases of the good and the bad. The more silence brought into the moment, the more reflection on the past, present, and in between. The more I grow older, the more I see the value of the day, and the blessings GOD has made for us without harm or hurt. I come to realize that everything good is from GOD, and human aggression is nothing but a rebellious voice that the human wants to escape being in the body, life, and dysfunctional relationships they found around them or brought into their lives. The human heart is capable of carrying lots of both joy and bitterness, grief, sorrows, and peace, acceptance, and resistance, and no one is aware that these emotions change the human body on a molecular level, and change the structure and function of the heart, making it like the octopus head. The more you grow older, you understand that nothing of these competitions is worth it. You may win something, yet,you will lose yourself, and then the world has control over you and your life. 

     God's promises never fail for He is a good God. From the first story was told till this moment of endless conflicts, fights, and useless races among humans. God invites us to listen to His whispers in the middle of chaos, He asks us to be still and know that He is God, to rejoice in His name, and know that HE is the ONE who restores all things even the broken heart. Peace. By: ME, " The old ancient woman."

Can you feel your breath? Are you receiving the right messages? Or there is something require examining?

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     How strong is your central nervous system infrastructure? Have examined how far it is impacted by what is going on around you? Or tried to hide by adapting to various coping mechanisms only to survive? Allowing the surviving brain to be overloaded with the negative messages, and misperceptions of reality around you. The human condition is the most complex case ever found on Earth. Having a regulated nervous system is like a rebirth of the newness of life. Vulnerability from the womb will build up more complex vulnerabilities with the trillions of sensory, somatosensory, and motor sensory encoding and decoding influencing the whole physiology of the human condition, gene mutation, and environmental influences that can change the life of a person. A wakening the tiger, and changing gene expression. So why we can't stop and try to understand what is happening within us to redirect our discourse instead of it being too late? How far culture, and do as they do attitude will deny the existence of a healthy cell, and a healthy human able to belong, relate, and connect. 

    How many times have you allowed your emotions to control your actions? how many times do you give in to the negative influence? how many times the other voice was louder and had to follow that voice? Will technology be the solution for correcting the course of the human condition or it is adding more to its vulnerabilities, fragile nervous system, messed up homeostasis, compromised hormones, glands, and organs, all goes back to the state of mind, and its interaction with the world inside and out. It became a complex human condition that requires deeper investigation, and examining to the root causes of how humans got trapped in this negative cycle of influence. If the inherited mutation, and dysfunctional combined with social, environmental, emotional, and economic stressors, thus will lead us to a matrix that requires the dedication of minds to decode this complexity. 

     The human condition can be messy, exhausting, draining, depleting, and destructive due to the uprooting of the good soil, and placing manufactured artificial one. Anything artificial has no life within, it may look pretty, tidy, and all together yet with no life in it, and it is still no change ever occurs or interacts with the world life, it is lifeless. However, the world is filled with many artificial things that prevent the human condition from being alive, breathing, feeling, and believing. The dilemma has been for ages. the state of sickness became the norm, someone has to suffer or the stillness takes place, and everything turns to be artificial. When stillness replaces liveness, the breath, the beat, and the voice dissipate, we can't see the human within or in front of us. This changes the structure and pathophysiology of the human condition, becoming more sich and separated from life. It is tiring to witness the state of the sliding slope over time.  Will be an awakening, openness to the new ways of thinking or the stereotyping, and encoding more misperception of the world around? 

     It is overwhelming to witness the declining state of the human condition day in and day out. Where to start, what to fix, or can to change like trying to swim in the deep layer of the ocean without safety or oxygen to survive. The measurement of the stress amount imposed on the human condition is unbelievable, there is no peace within, and intergenerational trauma is controlling the human condition without a clue where to start, and what can you fix. Wait is it fixing or mending, or replacement, or patching or renewal? Once you understand a piece of the matrix here comes new pieces that mess up everything, and you own nothing but to keep on trying, examining, and trying to refill the gaps to make sense of the human condition, yet you have no idea where to start? and what you can fix, going through the loop of stillness. By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

 

Scribble----- Scrabble..... find the meaning to know the truth.... keep on searching

 

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        At a point in our grown-up life, we go through this rumbling and chaotic sense of life around us. As if we see the world for the first time as if the child's perspective about the world around us has scattered into millions of unsorted letters, creating this state of wondering, and questioning, 'What is all this about? how can I find the words that make sense of the unsorted pile of letters that don't make any sense?' Have you ever heard of the phrase, 'exit freedom has a price'? Particularly for women who have untraditional life journeys, and the majority of their lives, they fight battles that aren't their own, yet, they make them their own till the moment the only voice can be heard is theirs echoing back to them. Watching themselves in an empty arena of voiceless thoughts, feelings emotions, and unsorted letters. The words once made meaning, fell apart, the phrases that were the text to shape communication turned to be fault, and the presence of their energy became unwanted, avoided, and questioned. So, welcome to life after middle age when women reap the accumulated outcomes of unfulfilling experiences, trauma, aches, disadvantages, failures, and loss in the chaos of useless experiences, time flew by within the times of the most essential times of their lives and trying to chase nothingness to find nothing but exhaustion, consumption, and stillness of their voice. imagine with me this rebellious state of not wanting to be, or escaping all of this leaving everything behind to find nothing but another chaotic life. All scenarios presented nothing but negative, toxic, and tearing the soul apart, finishing the task of consuming them through the toughest trials. They find themselves at a point when they can't say anything anymore as they discover the wasted life. Chance to rework life from the beginning is an imppssible mission, and they see the scars within and out, misshaped, misfit, and left behind....... The shock made them more silent and all the weight loaded upon them that they couldn't leave their shoulders or eyes to see what already happening, distancing the mind, and traveling at no point of meaningless wasted time. Many fell more into the trap of depression, withdrawal, or even the senseless existence of a shadow, unable to make sense of their day or whoever they are surrounded with as they witnessed their fall day by day and didn't do anything about it. 

        It doesn't matter how many people you are around, as there may be thousands, yet their impact on their lives is nothing but chaos, disaster, and destroying the mind, yet many embrace such culture, especially against women. It is easy to break a person, yet it is hard to build them up or bring them back to life. How many witness these scenarios and do nothing, the powerful suppress the weak and the able disable the powerless. The fallen have nothing to do but rewind what had happened in their moments of silence and discion of no-existence state of hopelessness, and weighted down. Not every woman had to go through this journey. It destined to those who first believed in the world around them, yet they couldn't read or understand "the behind the curtain', the little secrets that grew over time of the choice to please others, to give more, to accept to be invisible, to go voiceless, to allow life to happen to them, thinking they will survive. Survival brain and maladaptive when it comes to fawning it destroys nothing but the person themselves as the abuser is enjoying this mind game of destruction. The words I use may be more negative than positive. Yet this is the reality that many don't want to talk about it or say anything about it due to fear, intimidation, or getting along. 

     

        It comes to my awareness that women's rights have to be taught at an early age, as early as one year old. Being female, being a girl, being a woman isn't permission to be invisible, used, and abused. Specifically when adverse childhood trauma is in place which became a ticket for more use and abuse and many societies are silent about it. No wonder 7 out of 10 neurodegenerative diseases are women, 4 0ut of 10 experienced discrimination, 21.7% lived with chronic pain, 44% with Cardiovascular disease which is associated with the development of neurodegenerative diseases, 4%  high increase in stress, 2X experiencing trauma, 23-31 % experienced domestic violence, and intimate partner violence from age 14-49 of years, 46% experienced compromised workplace safety, 4% have at least on autoimmune disease, moreover racism which is identified as public health issue added another burden of disease particularly CVD and lack of quality of life. That is not all the statistics that present themselves on how women are seen, heard, and exist, modern age created this culture that "women are not protected by their community, groups, or environment", which raises the alarm of how to define a healthy culture from year one, at a very early age, empowering girls to be safe, protected, and cared for their well-being. Despite the advanced high tech, the human moral compass on a large scale is falling apart. Few can be aware, understand, and create the nurturing, and empowering culture of equipping girls and women with a safe world to be. Are societies pushing specific women groups to the havoc of chaotic life? to what advantage this is happening? Is it a collective phenomenon or are women themselves required to take things into their own hands, educate themselves, be informed, and be empowered so they are not left behind, and cursed within the moral compass of the community? How can we identify the vulnerable among the herd so they won't silently fall apart, or behind? How we create a sense of agency to be a transparent, motivator, and empower those who got lost in the chaos to resort to the letter and create meaning out of it? It is a new phenomenon communities are facing with a growing old women population, how can they be empowered to reorder their life purpose, and use their choad as an unfair advantage to create something new? How that can have an impact on stress levels, quality of life, and finding a new voice? I think you have to scribble scrabble till you find the meaning you were born for, and the purpose you are meant for... Put your fears aside, and others' intimidation about your voice to be heard, and embrace yourself as you are, with no expectations, and keep on searching, peace, ME,' The old ancient woman." 

Brokenness and its power - A choice to make either to fall or rise ......

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          How many walk through life accepting the the external world of their character, behavior, attitudes, beliefs, and their perception of themselves from the lens of others? How many allowed this perception to let them shrink in a deep sense of unworthy, don't measure up, or never been enough? Allowing the projection of others pain, hurt and failures to replicate human brokenness. If we are honest with ourselves, we can look closer to the shadow we participate to create. In one way or another no one is whole, no one got it all. Yet, perception controlled the way we allowed to see ourselves with the lens of "The Other". How many have the habit of selection the wrong "The Other". How many got lost in the gyser of the other projecting their brokenness into ourlives? How many trusted without questioning the motives behind all the ambiguous situations added into our lives? Deviating from the core, and looking at the smog, vapor, and fake flame of the other. In fact human perception of reality starts to decline from 25 years old of age. Hence, we have to ask the question if our perception of reality is declining since 25 years of age, so does our current perception of reality present the whole truth, and the real world or it is a scrapbook from collected past experiences ,and the meaning or label put untothese scraps. Hence , the brain already has a storage of scaps of memories whether are good, or hurtful they form the original version of macro film stored in the different parts of the brain ,and through the senses, specifically the sight this macro film has been recalled according the the present situation, maladaptive, or adaptive behaviors to cope are projected automatically once the stimulus matched the code stored in the brain resulting into the same behavior, attitudes, and beliefs. It is not an easy spot to navigate through as long as experiences accumulate, and over time they become our reality, the lens where we see, feel, listen, and relate to the world around us. Confusion occurs when many fallacies present themselves into the human mind. 

           Therefore, the older we get, the deeper  human lose their way to face their own realities that once they escaped from. Escape can occur through withdrawal, self- medicate, numbness, denial, or even accept the robe of shame and guilt putting themselves into this loop of worthilessness, helplessness, victimhood, and many toxic patterns of behaviors, and beliefs. If you can believe that you are your thoughts, no wonder, they controlled your life, and allowed others to control them by projecting their unwanted thoughts, troubles, confusion unto you. And here, humans found themselves in a place where understanding the joy of life, is a foreign concept, as confusion, ambiguity, and struggle are the common dominator. Misery loves company, hence, then bad thoughts, restless thoughts love company attracting the same frequency your thoughts are leading you to an endless agroument of worthilessness. Your thoughts become your physiology, your thoughts become your emotions, your emotions become your uptodate biochemistry, thoughts, feelings, memories are shaping your biochemistry affecting each cell of your body. Never understamte the power of thoughts. Research shows that exposure to toxic relationships lower the person IQ by 30%. Sono wonder how we allowed the incomplete perception of reality to be rule number one in conducting life. No wonder the declining level of literacy in math and reading. No wonder human healthy relationships are far fetched imagery. No wonder self control is a joke as mockery the new smart, the more humans mock one another the more they see themselves smart, yet unable to see the power of mockery in reflecting the broken soul. Mockery is a scape from facing our own true self. Mockery is the sarcastic form of hidden pain, yet pride deprive the person from showing their own feelings, emotions, and thoughts. The fear culture that allowed humans to deny themselves to hide in the brokenness of others. Hence, the result is the fall of that delusional perception of reality, maybe earlier in life or later where there is no way back. 

            On the other side, we find those who were courageous enough to face their false perception of reality, and extract the beauty from their brokenness. Broken mean, there is reshaping, repurposing, and reinnovating the scap version of many delusional, confusion perception of reality. It is concise in one question simple and easy as is that,"What do you want?" not what the world want me to do or think or uptake into mylife. How many wasted years to do what others want them to do? Was it successful? Did it help them to honor, respect, and protect their life? Did it make them stronger in seeing behind the fallacy? Or did it bring to them the reality that when they face it, they won't regret, or wish it couldn't happen? did it bring to the a fall or a rise? False perception of reality led to many hurtful judgments, and brought nothing but more suffering into the human life. The brokness is a mere thought, it is an idea can be used to mend, or to separate more in a way that destination is unknown. The soil has to break in order to the seedling see the light, the sun, to grow, and prosper. Once we have the courage to admit our brokenness and see it as a god's given task to let His wonderous work to work through you, within you, and for you, to reflect His Mighty power over any other power want to forcefully put the robe of shame and guit upon you for their own jealousy, and restless soul. So, wake upand know who owns it all,He won't see brokness, He sees work in progress, a piece of art in process to reflect new image, new function, new purpose, and new life. Look at you brokenness as your guidance to where best to utilize. Pick up the piece and start mending your own master piece where no other copies can be created at once, yet it is a master piece of faith ,for we walk by faith not by sight. Peace!!! By: ME."The old ancient woman."

Promoting a Culture of Health and Healing

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    Imagine a life that feeds you, renewing the mind-body and soul. A life that plants a seed of doing good and thinking good thoughts. Imagine a life tuned with your own essence of consciousness, leaving behind all the depleting energies that feed on you. Imagine waking up and seeing the unconditional creation of heaven and earth freely made for you. Imagine how much God loves you. He created everything for you, so how rich and wealthy you are in your soul, mounting a foundation of cultural health and healing. A culture that cares about a healthy cell, a healthy mind void of all ailments of the modern world that feeds on conflict, creating restlessness and fatigue. Words are sharp weapons that can destroy or heal, so it is a choice. However, humans got diluted in the history of pain, hatred, and racism. History did not leave humanity a flourishing life and a path filled with nurturing or guidance. It created an endlessly repeated story of Gone with the Wind movie. Racial actions appear in many ways in old and modern life, as if there is a hidden agreement of no reconciliation. This led to a culture that infuses division rather than unity, separation, togetherness, walking on eggshells, and no peace. As the common saying remind us," No Justice, No Peace."

       Humans are sorted according to what feeds the conflict, and there is no peace. The energy of the mind becomes a struggle for those who seek peace at a time when peace is taken as weakness, cowardness, and making fun of, forgetting all those who paved the way to bring peace into the world; however, peace is the greatest enemy of the world. The conflict has to persist in keeping the outsider outside, keeping the unwanted away from growing and prospering, and keeping the old race for control running from one generation to the other. The clues get tired of the extensive amount of energy consumption in conflicts. Only humans created a race for the survival of the fittest and short gains. The loud noise of conflicts deafens the hearts, and souls, tumbling and mumbling becomes the norm, and disease is the outcome.

       The food will only hurt you if you have inside restless conflicts unresolved. So your toxic emotional load toward others and yourself is sickening your cells. It creates impulsive, compulsive temperaments, attitudes, and behaviors. Humans' cultural blindness created a self-destructive tool for themselves and others. As you are not hurting others by emotional dumping or projecting, the result will hurt you over time. No stories throughout history showed promising results from conflicts; they were created as culture blindness mechanisms for nations, hate nations, groups hate groups, and individuals hate individuals projecting the history over and over from day to day. With every negative projection and attitude toward others, culture blindness is talking and manifesting itself in everyday interactions. Those who fought for freedom, projecting culture blindness on other cultures and races, it is implicit in the through patterns taught at an early age, allowing stereotyping to be expected no matter what. As if denying the fact that creation means change, trillions of cells die, and trillions of cells are replaced automatically with no effort from humans to do, it is automatically designed. Yet, humans deny each other change, refusing the natural truth of God's creation.  No matter how much knowledge is available for humans in every life route, history keeps repeating itself; humans did not learn any lessons from the past, and feeding the same old toxic roots, watering them, and striving to ruin every single aspect can reflect peace. It is a battle within; projection is the continuous pattern of interaction. So it is a lost battle if you try to figure it out; conflict feeds on conflict, and peace is a foreign language and may cause severe allergic reactions. The inner beauty may cause a heart attack or kidney failure, so what do you think who created the culture of sickness and disease instead of health and healing? The air or the dust? The answer is yours no matter what; ignoring the truth will result in the continuation of a useless history, its goals only the loss. The battle is yours, the choice is yours, and the outcomes are yours, so wherever you go, what will reflect your inner soul conflict, culture blindness, or healing and peace within, a reconciliation with the SELF from troubling it across the history. The story runs on autopilot, and only you can turn the page. Peace!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

Healing Prayers for the troubled souls....

 

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             To the average human who becomes hugely overwhelmed with the amount of suffering they experience in the world, putting them in a state of questioning the presence of God among all this endless struggle and suffering. When faith is interrupted by the socio-economic, political, cultural, and where they thought they belonged, and gradually have to face the truth that they are on the journey on their own, and all that they strived for can't bring the old human they were. When confidence and trust in the physical world allowed the presence of God within the heart, only a matter of precedence, and ritually to please others, to fit, to get what they aspire to get out of the world, the more, the better, the more, the dissipation within a load of excitement, fun, conquering new lands, markets, societies, the more the numbness present itself in choices, habits, communication, and connections, yet, when all of this blind the soul to see through the veil of deception, manipulation, and motives, the human becomes a tool to attain whatever in the minds of the other. Humans stay, after all, with pain and suffering, wondering how that happened? Humans are left with tight corners where choices are limited, and all choice left is hard to take in, as they will conform them to the truth they numbed for decades to faint in the voices of others. 

             Life has become like a market; noises prevent clarity, and many voices and distractions surround humans more than ever, from the noise to the chaos and decision-making in haste, or excitement, yet when the time comes, and the market is over, the sellers and buyers are left, humans left with choices they made at that time of haste or excitement, leaving them with either wondering, or regret. Emotions accumulate over time, changing the cells' communication, structure, and mechanism. Furthermore, changing the human within to be only a tool in the producers' hands, and becoming a consumer of whatever they are presented with, more change in the human cell, alteration, sickness, or illness due to the haste and chaos. And the older they get, fewer choices are left, anger persists, chaos manifest, and sickness or death. Asif humans are rebellious against themselves, with precedence, and separate from the self. God becomes a metaphor, and humans become the world's Gods. Seeing, doing, perceiving the world from the lens of the seen, tangible, and more. 

              It is a consuming life when suffering awaits at each corner of it. Over the ages, humans learned to torture themselves and one another. The peak of one had to come at the expense of the other. No win-win. It is the loud ego within. We all are guilty of that. The haste and chaos turned humans into targets to satisfy the ego, whether it is the hurting ego, the suppressed ego, the tourmented ego, the greedy ego, the lavish ego, the abuser ego, or the manipulative ego, and there are hundreds of labels, and titles for the human ego that were, are, and will be displayed in the world of haste and chaos.

           Leaving a depleted soul, mind, and body. Leaving the cry out of relief, leaving a desire for all the suffering, hurt, and pain to be gone. Who can figure it out after melting within the haste and chaos, conflict, and confusion, the human excellent tools for breaking one another, not loving one another yet breaking one another, the reverse energy of the ego that strives for revenge or more, hate, or discrimination. None of the fruit of the holy spirit is present in this equation that hard to break in modern life. A complicated life and humans are paying the price. Don't wonder how life turned out to be this way. It is the manifestation of the ego or egos within a neglected soul. A life that is void of purpose, and service. A life that is made based on past inheritance of conflict, manipulation, and revenge, like in the old testament, no peace nations fought nations, and humans fought humans. Only how we look, wear, live in, or consume may change, yet the mind is still the same. So interesting, the seen can change its appearance. Yet, the mental inheritance is repeating itself with persistence in hurting one another, the deep motive and drive in the human animal to survive, the DNA inheritance of hunter-gatherer still running the human race, the core of the battle didn't change, or the restless race of rivalry, and revenge, hate, discrimination, and overwhelm within the haste, and chaos. When humans come to a point crying out for rest, peace, and comfort from all of this. May the healing prayer draw your attention to the fact that the race is still present, and the battle hasn't been done yet. May healing, peace, and grace surround your troubled soul. Peace!!.By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

Chasing assumptions and fading realities

 

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       The more the world becomes busy and filled with things to do every single minute and everywhere, the many configure themselves around all these pieces of something taking place somewhere; the mind becomes running a million appointments within the day or like a running wheel till its shape fades with speed, and all you can see is the tire shadow. Yet, you can not come close to stopping it as you may get hurt, and yet it won't stop. However, who steered the wheel in the first place, something will need to be put in place, and the outcomes what take place instead. Forgetting ourselves within the speed of the wheel. Hence, comes the question," Do we contribute to wasting life, or does life happen as it has to happen? How do we alienate our connection with self first, to dissolve within the external voices of being somebody else or chasing something that does not align with you only because we are paying attention to the assumptions and the perception of what we think it should be? 

         The more technology accelerates the change in social life, it accelerates the human separation from realities. Billions are chasing assumptions and perceptions and are disconnected from realities. I can go to the point of confusion about man-made machines or machine-made men? It is hard to distinguish who influences who at this point in our age humans trust machines now more than themselves. What you wear or consume, how you look, and how you communicate are all tied to the image presented by the machine, void of the sense of reality. Human feelings and emotions are scripted according to what the matching announces; therefore, automated scripts take away the sensation of being human able to feel, think, and reason. What do they want? I have to admit since my isolation for almost a decade now, I did trust the machine to guide me to learn the world I am supposed to relate to. I learned a lot that I often wish I stayed ignorant as I used to be. Assumptions and perceptions can construct an optical illusion, yet no evidence proves it is an optical illusion, so it is perceived as accurate. So how many assumptions have you made that shaped the person you are right now? Are you happy with it? Can you sit with all your assumptions by the end of the day and witness the fruit they brought into your life to elevate and empower you, or are they leading you in a backward direction? Can you feel joy in allowing them into your life? Or you created this restless state of mind? The picture is beautiful from the outside, yet, having a zoom-in, you may discover another world that will connect you with the reality that not everything is meant to be shiny. Life is messy.

        Unfortunately, humans get to live with a pure, clear mind, and over time it is intoxicated by the beliefs, culture, and other influences that alienate the first human, the one chasing assumptions and false perceptions and allowing realities to fade. Creating these conflicting parts of existence, and non-ending hate of self, reflecting it to others as punishment for not being themselves. It is not a fruitful, purposeful life; it is a masked life, depending on the situation the matching mask will be put on. Leaving humans exhausted, stressed, and filled with sadness and aches, the closest assumption is machine dependency, creating a more fake world that only exists in the images online. Running from self and fearing listening to what is real within the soul and mind. Chasing assumptions based on unreal perceptions creates suffering, illness, and disease since feelings and emotions are trapped within, creating this biotoxicity within the cell, manifesting in disorders and syndromes. So who made who? And how can we break the fear and face the self? Before it is too late to understand what you truly want and how this will bring back life to the human within. Peace!! By: ME,: The Old ancient woman." 

The forgotten Truth in Spaces of confusion, and false realities !

 

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         The clock of life goes back and forth, bringing me to the times of early age when curiosity and questioned what everything means around me. You come to know the first line you belong to, who are your neighbors and community, and how this community is expanding along the way you grow, yet, you completely unaware that is not all the story to tell. Each of us has a terminal story that starts to grow from one spark of an event or incident; it could be traumatic or nurturing, distinguishing everyone in the room wherever we go. Have you ever asked yourself if you could read the room you are in or have a baseline about the approach of those around you? Suppose you are brought up in a nurturing environment. In that case, you will be seen differently, far-fetched, and goal-oriented, have self-awareness, and know your people, boundaries, and exactly what you want. Therefore, your internal compass guides you toward those that align with your values, principles, and goals. You understand the value of giving life and purpose seeking, elevating your life, and that like-minded others are related to your inner circle. The smaller the circle, the high impact on each one's life, as there is no time to waste with drama and other distractions the world is filled with everywhere you go. 

         In times when the dysfunctional dynamics of humans who missed the nurturing environment and healthy relationships, the confused identities, and struggle to be seen, heard, or understood. The definitive moment in each child's life that only requires God's grace to walk them through these dungeons they may be exposed to. How many in the world faced that moment. Nearly 99%of the world, that is truly shocking to realize everyone in the room had this moment of shaking, confused identities, no matter how old they are, trauma talks through their daily interactions, communications, decision making, and the outcomes that not only they struggle with but everyone involved, or present in their circle. No matter their sex, gender, age, race, ethnicity, socio-economic status, political affiliation, or community they related to. I say related to not belonging to, as belonging occurs only when confused identities do not exist, the person is comfortable with who they are, how they think, what they want to do, and who can be in their circle, and mostly owning their emotional maturity, and responsibilities. 

   The true soul vanished within the accumulation of the collective dysfunctional, maladaptive survival patterns of negative relationships that formulate a false perception of life, realities, and conditioning on toxic patterns of relating to others. Conditioning turns the true soul into a profound loss of self, disorganized cell functioning, and overdrive to risky behaviors to survive. It leads to self-destructive patterns that hide all truth and present only false realities, shaping a different perception about what they want from life. A chaotic sense of life, a world full of drama, trauma, and hurt instead of balance, peace, and well-being. It is a place of discomfort and enslaving humans into conditioning; if I need to feel this way, I must act this way or do it. And the conditioning never leads to satisfaction, calmness, and contentment; it leads to overdrive dopamine craving. Conditioning leads to the tolerance of the maladaptive behavior that is no longer enough; therefore, humans tend to do more, use more, and consume more as normal has never been enough at that moment that humans turn to a tool of what conditioning, whether toxic relationships, hate, revenge, or even self-destruction. The point is that humans become dangerous not only to themselves but to others as well, and here, we come to the common saying that hurt people hurt people sure to their overdrive dopamine craving to feel euphoric. However, it is a short-span feeling that takes the life out of the human and becomes conditioned by the excessive use or act. You don't see a human anymore. You experience a far-away reality from being human. The maladaptive dysfunction reflects on every aspect of their lives, even in the simplest common sense. 

    Here, through experience, you know they hurt you because they are hurting. They desire to scratch anything that does not look and suffer like them. The body's biochemistry became so toxic that negative perceptions and actions come naturally. They haven't experienced anything different from anxiousness, anger, fear, hate, envy, jealousy, or hard feelings that can drive disease. Not only physical diseases but spiritual ones too, the disrespect for anything or anyone they come intact with. That is trauma in action. Trauman is embedded in neurobiology; the body is in a reactive mood to survive and pronounce its existence through high-risk behaviors. Their deep longing for authentic connection and real life wasn't met through their first line of connection, family or relative. Their second line of connection is community, school, then work. They seek more dysfunctional relationships to continue the vicious cycle of insecure attachment, a window of opportunity for all those who prey on humans like this. They did not know how to be safe or trusted. All they know is defensiveness and hurt from their deepest fears that they will experience betrayal and lose their sense of belonging wherever they go. So they put the identity of the rebel, disobedient, troublemaker, or even the villain. 

    Conditioning and masking become the perceived realities everyone acts from. Someone out there will get me, so I have to get them first; survival of the fittest and natural selection based on the reptilian, mammalian brain, the actual human disappeared. The sense of inner beauty is a foreign language; having knowledge, skills, and abilities are hypocritic words and don't belong to life. Loss of self-value and others' value is the norm. Understanding how much they are loved by God is taken ironically, and more indulgence in their dopamine craving becomes the true God. Trusting in the external provides temporary delusional feelings and forgetting the inner soul suffering from humans wandering in a world of cravings and desires to hurt others. A world that may lead to the forgotten truth of the soul, separating the true self from the real world that God created for us to prosper, learn, educate, and thrive for God's goodness in doing good. To take your soul to a level of honor and dignity as sons and daughters of the King of Kings. We are called to have meaning and purpose in life, to witness the fruits of our work, and to thrive to elevate the soul to a place of nobility and respect. If you see your true self, you will owe a massive apology for wasting your life in so many detours and hurting yourself and others; you will start to see the good God wants for you. You will have an authentic life and sense of belonging before it is too late to do so. I am filled with sadness each time I witness the false realities that humans accept to be in to survive and lose their inner souls. Each adult starts with themselves and knows that whatever you see is only a perceived reality, not the real one. Peace 🙏 By: ME, "The ancient old woman." 

The Self between separation and connection...

 

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    With almost 8 billion people on earth still human soul is struggling to find its way into self awareness, empathy, compassion, kindness, and conscienscience. Urbanization, modernization and all the ,"tion, ion" expressions found their way into the industrialized, materialized ambition of human being. The more it is upgraded, humans elevate their egocentric nature into another level of separation. Increased state of conflict internal and external as human physical capacity is sort of limited , the giant times have passed where they exceeded all the measurement of modern life, however they were not many.The history keep telling the story as a ysmblosim of challenging powers, for example Goliath and David, Simmson and Jezebel. Physical characteristic formed a picture for generations that physical features are more important than spiritual, and the search for the authentic self. Physical appearance became the focus in measuring human worth, how much you accumulate is the determinatal rubrics to size people up. And societies rules are written. The more physical, materialistic rubrics added, the wider the separation becomes. The separation of authentic self faint in racing the rubrics, and how much you are ready to play hard for this, the outcome will be most of the time,"It depends", the hidden giants of the modern world are not seen by naked eyes, they are thoughts, feelings, habits, lifestyle, or even natural or no-natural influences from peer pressures, social pressures, natural disasters, and man-made conflicts. 

    Humans defence mechanisms turn to be with protective factors for reasonable or lavish life, or risk factors for self-destruction. Unfortunately, humans are the subjective matter in these mechanisms, and how much awareness within human life, it determines their way of life which will turn their desriptive matters. some are seen, others are battling the sense of erusion within the soul separation ,and subjected to the external influences. it is the human battlefield for survival, shaping their central nervous system ,and entric nervous system. Al ink is ignored to shed the light on , to understand as humans thoughts, feelings, emotions and experiences are changing this make-up metabolically, and functionally , manifested in behaviors and diseases. The human giants are micro organisms, that are waiting for the right formula to cause the havoc in human life, altering their way of thinking, living, doing, and acting. It is a complex mechanism. Unfortunately, the Self separation, means the whole person connection is altered by the seen, and unseen giants that manipulate and control the human life. The fear, and stress response is embedded within humans DNA, cell membrane, and here instead of reversing these unwanted biologic inheritance, humans sought more wildly experiences to increase the suffering of the soul, and increase the layers of confusion, dysfunction, and sickness. Deviation from the authentic self to rediscover the Self ,and connect with it to fulfill its purpose and meaning. I hope you tune into the wasted life in seeking the external approval ,and chechinking all the boxes of the rubric, and listen to the yearning soul to connect with your authentic self first, then you can understand the how, and the why? Peace. By: ME, "The old ancient woman."  

The non- linear journey of healing trauma

 

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     Why don't I want to stop separating myself from investigating and exploring the trauma-healing journey? The journey reveals much about the human soul, the core essence of beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, and actions or reactions. Many are showing in the world with the traumatized self, reflecting in their actions, communications, and interaction with the world building these perceptive assumptions about one another. So interestingly that many also think that healing trauma can be done in a 12, or six-week therapeutic journey and wonder why this experience keeps falling short of meeting with the soul,and redirecting the person into their authentic self, taking responsibility for their part of the tests, trails, or challenging experiences, identifying the setbacks, detours, overwhelm, distress, and the attitudes when the person is struggling with lots of stressors into their day, or life in general, the time the person sought help, or contemplating about getting help. Ignoring the role of the biochemistry of the mind-body connections and its role in changing gene expression, the role of inflammation, mitochondria decline, gene mutations, and environmental factors come into play with the person's internal and external makeup. It is said that our emotions are traced back into 14 generations embedded into our DNA. Hence, fight-flight-feeze-fawn are already designed within our DNA, and the environment allows these reactions to keep showing up through the build-up environment, triggers, and repeated negative experiences. 

     No one has time to trace their DNA traumatic experiences for 14 generations. However, this knowledge is a double-edged sword. it can be suitable for discovering new biomedical solutions to treat human suffering or being used to target specific races and ethnicity to design experiences to increase the body's traumatic response leading to the persistence of the vicious cycle of grief, morbidity, and mortality,  and that is where AI danger lies. It goes beyond applying knowledge and having it in the hands of those who understand such algorithms.  Therefore, controlling the human species only by designing environments and experiments to either allow them to flourish or destroy them by impacting their genetic predisposition. It is another ambition for those with the knowledge and power to manipulate the human genome by using their neurobiology and targeting antibodies. 

   History has many experiences when science was intended to do no harm and contribute to humanity and when the same intention is used to destroy humanity, for example, Alfred Nobel and Fritz Harber. Can the fear of AI control lie in promoting the predictable outcomes of human makeup in the coming 50 years? So, why do I mention AI, human genetic sequencing, and the highly equipped algorithm in science and medicine relating to trauma?  I hope you will get the image that traumatic experiences can start at a primitive level depending on the knowledge and motives of the offender and their awareness of doing harm on somebody, starting from bullying, gaslighting, monopoly, sanctions, torture, depriving someone or group of their rights, polarization, discrimination, till highly sophisticated, intelligent macro impact of human species through AI. Media and social media have reached their limit to changing the psych neurobiology of humans since countermeasures are built to protect humans from its negative influence on human capacities. AI has no boundaries, and it's a machine that has no emotional parameters or is able to navigate through the soul of humans. It can cause unpredictable harm to humans, specifically the vulnerable, who are depleted by all sources of targeted psych neuro tactics through built environments and experiences. 

    In addition to the complexity of healing trauma, we must pay attention to our inner built-up. Have you considered inventorying your vulnerabilities, weaknesses, and setbacks to extract the pattern that brought you down and depleted your energy and resources? Where can you define yourself in the new world classification of humans? Are you classified as an ally, enemy, potential, dead-end, outlier, candidate, point of attack, point of entry, target, frontline, rising star, or commander? There are many classifications to humans in the outrageous, unpredictable changeable matrix of the socio-economic, political, and religious frame utilizing science and technology to keep the race toward the top of the world in power. Unfortunately, no regard for the human soul as it is seen that some nations have to rise. Others have to be put down, yet, the human equation in terms of healing and reconciliation within the real humans regarding their life and their needs to have a balanced life full of clarity, intention, and meaning. Unfortunately, many changes on the level of the human soul occur among few groups that believe in the right of humans regardless of their race, color, ethnicity, language, faith, or political affiliation, as their core value is to alleviate suffering, reach the human soul to heal, create, and contribute to one another. Take your inventory, and be honest with yourself. If you are not honest with yourself, don't expect the world will be honest with you. The world that you are seeking to discover. The world of healing doesn't allow space for more drama, dishonesty, games, and manipulation. 

       Take your inventory, reflect on it, and ask yourself if you are satisfied with the results you came to. If you are pleased, why? If you aren't happy, why? What can you do differently? What experiences do you want to expose yourself to so the healing can take place? And make a list of these experiences, find where they are, and start your microdoses of healing with no permission from anybody. As it is your own unique journey, it may surprise you how much you were blinded by the state of overwhelm, reacting from past trauma, trapped in the time of significant events that allowed to dwell in your cell membrane and separate the mind and body, creating a conflicting soul, disrupted, and overwhelmed. Be aware that generational trauma will try to stay with you as the protector of your identity, yet it is fake. It creates misconceptions and assumptions and manipulates us into a world of delusion, not the truth. 

    You will become aware of distinguishing the voice of truth and fakeness on the healing journey. By asking questions, the human soul will be revealed to you. Be more observant than a reactant, and that requires practice. You will understand many are joining the game of classification, yet only some are working on their healing. You will realize that opening your heart and mind to connect to the truth is entirely different from engaging in quick-fix delusional realities, which will leave you high and dry, more depleted than before, more consumed, and that is the designed built-up environment, and experiences that target the DNA multigenerational trauma pattern in you. Covid-19 updated the target DNA Bank, and it won't be the last since decades ago with the Spanish flu, for example.  Peace!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

Alleviating Human Suffering.... The complex equation of social justice and the predisposed realties

 

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            Have you wished to live without pain, aches, or struggles one day? Everything around you and within you is flowing, smiles everywhere, music is tuning into your nourished soul, healthy relationships, and all your wishes come true, playing a rhythm only made for you. I wish we could. Since Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden tree, suffering is the companion of the human soul on earth in some way or form. No one is living in the suffering fee zone. Each has their own designed portion of suffering according to the purposes they were created for. Don't say that specific cultures or classes are suffering free. That won't be the meaning of life or a sense of existence within a sophisticated ecological matrix that gets more complicated with human life, their choices, decisions, and environmental pressures, whether internal or external. So welcome to the human suffering nature intertwined with dreaming, doing, surviving, thriving, exploring, and seeking to live. However, what kind of life a human can form is the core factor of how much suffering can result from this formula of living. 

            If you ask me why there are wars? Armed conflicts, socio-political, socio-economic inequalities, and disparities? The answer is broad and goes back to the origin of life and the human tendency to survive, whether through surviving conflicts or creating conflicts for the loop of dominance to remain. It is since Able and Cain and the seeds of jealousy and greed. The hunger for more and owning it all at any cost. That is an endless conflict on the individual level, communities, societies, and globally. Decades after decades, centuries after centuries, social injustice became the social norm for survival and dominance. As if peace is an alien continent that makes it hard to exist. Children from generation to generation witness adult injustice and conceptualize that this is how life must be. The powerful wins it all. Vested interests started to grow among groups, polarizing human existence and living. The club goods started to take place, and grow with vested interest groups, ignoring the core value of the human soul. Justification for wrongdoing started to take a more modernized plateau in the name of group empowerment, and validating maladaptive, oppressive, violent behaviors within the community, bringing a culture of injustice tolerance. Poverty took root, and it is hard to overcome it on a broad scale, disease, and illness-shaped populations, spiritual contamination with segregations, dividedness, and polarization for the public. Suffering becomes a daily norm for those who have been neglected for decades. The emergence of traumatized individuals and communities brought more suffering into human life. Regardless of the natural disasters' challenges and the heavy state of emergencies, leaving humans with unpredictable amounts of losses, grief, feeling trapped, helplessness, hopelessness, and an increase in disease. 

         In constant conflict among the group, implicit and explicit, adds to human suffering, creates ecological imbalances in human functionality, and seeks more external solutions to escape their suffering. This created more unhealthy communities related to choices, decision-making, and relationships contributing to suffering. Tolerance to mistreatment, dehumanization, and the ability to mask the suffering with an outside false self, thinking that submission to the oppression is the only way to survive. Survival can increase the opportunities for maladaptive and running from the truth. Seeking temporary quick fixes to numb the sense of suffering and pain. Repeating the same cycle of abuse and misuse. Why do I keep repeating the same loop of being dehumanized with the socio-economical, socio-political, and abuse of power and authority until the last drop of being? Why does this cycle still exist despite the most significant achievement in science and technology? Why do children still witness this loop of injustice, cruelty, and dehumanization of the human soul? Where is the presence of ordinary justice among the wise, educated, equipped humans to make the change? Is it going to be only individual responsibility when addressing injustice in any environment? Is it still the same reaction to escort whoever addressing difficult questions? Is it common sense to witness and still ignore till suffering becomes the norm. The driving force to feel alive is the presence of suffering. It is hard to address complex regulatory systems that seek the known, the familiar, and the comfort rather than the unknown, the unfamiliar, and step into the discomfort zone. Many sufferings occurred before eyewitnesses, groups, and communities, yet what will I get out of this? Is the proper foundation of detachment, ignoring, and unable to have conversations to address challenging questions and have difficult conversations that contribute more to health and illness rather than the organ system. 

       Addressing the diseases and illnesses that result from human suffering  by having the courage to ask difficult questions, having tough conversations collectively without shying out, and seeing the underlying causation of losing human lives for nothing. Educating communities, and training lay counselors, peer support, activists, and bringing a movement of advocacy to have one voice toward optimal health is a social justice priority to make health a human right as the first amendment, and supported by top-down, bottom- up, and middle out strategies as the new norm of healthy communities, families, and individuals that what we all need to unite for, no left or right, not blue or red, not any forms or labels put to divide, segregate humans from one another due to the culture of club goods what is there for me? And instead of honoring human life, no matter their race, gender, race, color, religion, or any other group classifications, institutionalized human categories, who is who, and who is in and who is out. Instead, optimal health-well-being, human dignity, and integrity are the real cause of living, being, doing, and existing, and that is what makes the true meaning for a nation to honor God and trust in God with goodness, grace and blessings wherever they are, and whatever they do. #United forhealthandwellbieng. By: ME, "The old ancient woman."