Sunday, December 17, 2023
Unbiased mind and the flow of life.....
Monday, November 20, 2023
Holiday Season and the uniqueness of each personal journey
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Holidays and all the feelings that come with it, the rush to stores, the busyness of the to-do-list, the stress and competition around, the shows, the delays, the hushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, and the fuzziness of the to-do persona, all come in place with the holiday season. How many are starting their independent holiday season, how many are keeping the old traditions at any cost, and how many are trying to figure it out with life changes all around? How many are just fine with not showing their interest in holidays and all the worries follow, traffic, distance, workload, time off, or no time off, and we are lost with all that the world convinced us how holidays should be, and tied to this endless worries when the holiday season comes rushing in. Even though it looks so pretty to see roads, communities, stores, and no matter where you are the season presents itself without permission from anyone. The one who was not presented is the person within the heart, mind, and soul those are no longer lives with us, those who moved away, those who never considered us part of their lives, and the shadow of the past keeps visiting when we want to move on. However, why all these heavy feelings and emotions are intense in the holiday season? What this time specifically, does it take us to past regrets or the things we missed through the busyness of life, allowing our best years to slip between our fingers like the water.
The holiday season is more about family, belonging, connectedness, and commitment to one another honoring the life that brought everyone together. Yet, family is not meant for everyone, some have to be their own self family and be in peace with that, it is the state of bringing yourself, the true back to yourself to be in coherence with the life you have been given freely. Our expectations from the world may be part of our own imagination, and here frustration and disappointments come into place as our minds have this ideal script about family, yet life realities present a different script. Living a life with no expectations from the world may seem far fetched image, however, it can happen after many detours, and tough lessons to learn. When you reach this state, you will realize that there are millions of scripts the world will present to you every single day, so all you need to do is to take it as it is with no questioning. As questioning will bring more confusion and disappointment. Try to be courageous enough not to question anything about the scripts presented to you. Many times we have no clue why things happen as they do? and why, we humans choose certain behaviors other than others. It is complicated. Getting to the root of the truth is something like a fairy tale so it is better to make your peace of mind a priority or you will be stressed over things out of your control. Life scripts are like a puzzle. When you figure out one piece, you get puzzled with the next piece and the process continues till you have consumed most of your mental energy leading to physical exhaustion, and accumulated sadness as you are feeling more distaned than before. The inner desire to live the meaning of family and belonging which can be tough, and confusing. And here you are faced with overwhelming emotions that may take to to places, memories, and events that left hurtful feelings in your heart and shaped or changed your perception of life. Everytime events triggers these memories. You find yourself in a place that you thought had passed. Each year more understanding is presented that the past will keep knocking on your door to keep you captive in the memories that no longer exist. The past becomes your frenemy that wants to keep you imprisoned in your pain. Your past biggest desire to see you held captive and unable to move forward. It will show itself in places, events, and conversations that will keep reminding you of the past,triggering a trauma response. You have to learn the lesson that the past won't let you go, the past gets its energy of power, and control from triggering your past. An important question you have to ask yourself is what function does it serve you when you listen to past triggers? Why do you give it power over your life, and why do you want to waste more years of your life-giving your past the same response? That may simply reflect Trauma bonding, when we survive on listening to past pain and feel exhausted, taking advantage of, used, abused, and held captive for all the dysfunctional relationships, events, places, and false expectations.
I understand how it hard is to break free from all these false alarms, I understand how hard have you tried to break free, and yet you come back to the vicious cycle of trauma triggers, and responses. I understand your avoidance, disassociation, escape, even aggression, or denying that functional, constructive, nurturing, healthy life ever exists. I can understand all of that and many more. Therefore, I want to join voices with you and claim a different voice that I have sometimes said it loud, "If the whole world gave up on you, never give up on yourself, you are worth it, keep trying to be kind to yourself. If the world denies your rights to life, never deny the right of your being, let it be, let it go, and start your day with the beginner mindset, practice how to be kind to yourself, with no expectations from the world around you, no promises toward anyone but yourself to treat yourself kindly, and have compassion to all have you wished have been done through your life. Each person around you has their own shadow to face, so don't worry, each has their own pain, loss, grief, and portion of life hardships. Life isn't a paradise, it is a journey filled with unwanted chapters and you are given the chance to write the present chapter the way you wished could have happened decades ago. Live life with no expectations from the world and you will reward yourself with the first step of self-care, make the season of the holiday a normal day, which may contain many activities yet not everything happening around us we have to be part of it, create your own that match who you are, where you are in your life journey, and create your own moment of joy, grace, kindness, and compassion with perspective that this is your day given freely from heaven and GOD is the ONE who is committed to your care. Therefore, GOD has given you 365 days each year once you realize this gift, choose wisely and trust HE will sustain you till you break free from all trauma and bondage that keeps tracing your steps, and life with assurance that He will sustain you, so let it be, and live your day purposefully with the intention that He is in control and His will for you is to rejoice and give thanks. Peace!!! By: ME," The old ancient woman."
Monday, November 13, 2023
Mindful Reflection and Navigating through a Troubled Mind ...
Sunday, October 29, 2023
The Forgotten Truth and the Line in Between
Days, months, years, or even decades pass and there are moments in between that are forgotten, yet when memories come back, they are still alive. Memories don't die or fade away, sometimes we intentionally choose to disassociate, ignore, or put them in a closed place where no one can reach them. Or that we, humans think it will. Furthermore, sometimes we forget that memories can run the present when realities become delusional and triggers manifest in the present actions and behaviors. Humans become more overloaded with life stressors, past trauma exposure, violence, and betrayals. Some choose to deny all that happened and store their emotions, and others shut down while others become hypervigilant, hyper-aroused, aggressive, and violently, defensive against whoever reminds them of their past trauma. Hence humans become trapped in the past and their actions impact their present harshly. Relationships fall down, maladaptive behaviors become the numbing, the escape of their overwhelming emotions, and another truth to be reminded of that the eye collects mostly 80% of sensory somatic sensations and messages. Whoever or whatever surrounds them is seen with the lens of past trauma, the sympathetic, autonomic, and limbic reactivity projecting on the present. The Psychophysiology of trauma is complex as no one on earth hasn't gone through traumatic events either in their childhood, teenage, or even adulthood. Trauma dwells in the cell membrane changing the gene expression, and the physiology of the human being, and physiology influences mental health allowing incoherence in thinking and actions. No one is immune from trauma exposure whether at home or work. Humans carry their negative experiences within them wherever they go. If we deny the role of trauma in relationship dysfunction, the high rate of workplace turnover, chaotic communications, cornering one another, and impulsivity are the norm in facing situations. Trauma manifests itself in heavy drinking, overeating, insomnia, irritable bowel syndrome, autoimmune, hypertension, and even infertility. Trauma presents itself in high violence rate, poor decision-making, or even slight headache, vomiting, nausea, or even punishing oneself. Trauma is shown in risky behaviors, inability to complete work day, or relate to anyone around. The human connection becomes either a heavy burden, avoidance, or toxic as projection in place, power struggle, conflicts, unsettled environment, and dysfunction continue till the breakdown point.
However, on the other side, there are those who realized how trauma destroys human life and battered self, unable to stand up for themselves, yet there was a loud cry within that had the power to break this pattern of dysfunction and start to heal and restore the stolen days, years or even decades. Yet, the journey of healing is faced with new challenges as the desire to heal and restore don't align with the majority who live on traumatizing and retraumatizing those who don't have the power, authority, or materialistic standard which the world normally evaluates humans with. Their voice becomes a threat to whoever wants to keep the cycle of retraumatization as they feed on that feeling of oppressing, suppressing, and humiliating others as once done unto them. Hence projection is in place until the human themselves realize this pattern of trauma projection and influencing their life the way they don't wish to be. The voice within is more rebellious than ever, as life is a gift from God. God is the only owner of our lives, so why do humans assign themselves owners over others' lives? Again trauma manifests in relationship dynamics, choices, and decision making. Body language tells a lot about whether the person is a dominant or subordinate, the oppressor, or the oppressed, the abuser or the abused, and with every motion the eye is the data collector to sends it back to the brain to analyze the patterns and the body execute the behavior, action, or even the language earned to survive, maladapt, and stored anger from the past, and their trauma exposure. Hence, safety, trust, and rapport aren't in place, and the humans either fight, fight, freeze, or feign. The arrhythmic tone of voice, body language, and facial expression all are projecting the past not the present, taking away the hope installed within. The journey of healing brings to us the forgotten truth to control the present and delay the process of healing. However, once the pattern is identified there has to be a plan of action, determination to overcome this defeat of the past, and bring the self into the moment of the present moment and slow down, then move with steady steps no matter how slow it could be, day by day it will change the course, and will be the discourse for the future to be attentive and in coherent with your thoughts. It takes lots of determination and willingness to heal to let it be, the moment of anger, rebellious, dissatisfaction, discontent, grief, sadness, or anxiousness to be, and move on, don't deny, store, or seek numbness, let the emotions to be and acknowledge them, let them be free out of your body, thoughts, and soul and walk, keep walking it will be worth it. To acknowledge the trauma requires an inherently nonclinical relational approach prior to any further step toward resolving past trauma. While adults have to take personal responsibility to address their unresolved trauma, younger ones require someone who is ready to listen, be present, and understand where they are at, what environment they are in, and what triggers by other humans or physical environment control the day. Acknowledging trauma projection in daily communications is essential to understanding your approach to standing for yourself, don't expect someone will stand for you when you are surrounded by a trauma projections environment, and there are unresolved traumas in place, it is a lost battle. Understand your own, work on resolving them, and make sure you are not the one who is projecting onto others and retraumatizing others with no fault of their own. Seeing the world through the lens of Trauma-informed care will be a good start. Peace. By ME, "The old ancient woman."
Wednesday, October 25, 2023
Wonder and looking through the unknown
Growing older can bring with it the wisdom of the years or the forgotten self along the journey filled with races, competition, and many other schemas of the human condition. How many are tuned to themselves and not allowing intergenerational conflicts and dysfunction in relationships to rule their lives? Regardless the race, ethnicity, color, age, sex, gender, and culture that brings with it rules and the blueprint of each tribe and group. Some realize that the more you grow older all that once you believed is the law of the land is no more, and facts project the complexity of dynamics and specific flow of events around humans. for myself the more I grow older I see how humans' daily schemas are nothing but delusions humans installed in their minds to govern their existence. Many times I tell myself nothing is worth it. When sickness and pain control the human conditions, pleasures become more painful and ache and meaningless. Humans chase even their shadow thinking it is something to get and no one else can get. Wasting the most beautiful gift given freely from heaven is life. The human mind is still in its infancy for science to understand, how a mind can create, invent, and change the world around them and others, and is able to carry dizzelion of schemas that harm one another and all within the chaos of overwhelm.
Walking the path of the unknown, experiencing things that bring many questions with it. How come those who don't know you, judge, and create a grand story about who you are, even you, you don't know exactly who you are, you are the sum of your heredity, upbringing, environment, culture, ethnicity, race, color, age, sex, gender, beliefs, or religion. All these labels weighed down the human soul, brought aches and pain, no peace with all of these labels. The more you grow older, the more you want to put down each of these labels as you seek the purification of the soul, the oneness with GOD, the simplicity of your day, and the clarity of your mind.
The human race spoiled many beautiful things in human life. even alienated the soul from the SELF. A sigh of wonder and looking through the unknown, how come all was, and is happening represent a complexity of sophisticated design named, human condition from health to sickness and vice versa. The human condition provided us with wonder how humans are able of all these phases of the good and the bad. The more silence brought into the moment, the more reflection on the past, present, and in between. The more I grow older, the more I see the value of the day, and the blessings GOD has made for us without harm or hurt. I come to realize that everything good is from GOD, and human aggression is nothing but a rebellious voice that the human wants to escape being in the body, life, and dysfunctional relationships they found around them or brought into their lives. The human heart is capable of carrying lots of both joy and bitterness, grief, sorrows, and peace, acceptance, and resistance, and no one is aware that these emotions change the human body on a molecular level, and change the structure and function of the heart, making it like the octopus head. The more you grow older, you understand that nothing of these competitions is worth it. You may win something, yet,you will lose yourself, and then the world has control over you and your life.
God's promises never fail for He is a good God. From the first story was told till this moment of endless conflicts, fights, and useless races among humans. God invites us to listen to His whispers in the middle of chaos, He asks us to be still and know that He is God, to rejoice in His name, and know that HE is the ONE who restores all things even the broken heart. Peace. By: ME, " The old ancient woman."
Friday, October 6, 2023
Can you feel your breath? Are you receiving the right messages? Or there is something require examining?
Saturday, September 23, 2023
Scribble----- Scrabble..... find the meaning to know the truth.... keep on searching
Friday, September 8, 2023
Brokenness and its power - A choice to make either to fall or rise ......
Friday, August 11, 2023
Promoting a Culture of Health and Healing
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Imagine a life that feeds you, renewing the mind-body and soul. A life that plants a seed of doing good and thinking good thoughts. Imagine a life tuned with your own essence of consciousness, leaving behind all the depleting energies that feed on you. Imagine waking up and seeing the unconditional creation of heaven and earth freely made for you. Imagine how much God loves you. He created everything for you, so how rich and wealthy you are in your soul, mounting a foundation of cultural health and healing. A culture that cares about a healthy cell, a healthy mind void of all ailments of the modern world that feeds on conflict, creating restlessness and fatigue. Words are sharp weapons that can destroy or heal, so it is a choice. However, humans got diluted in the history of pain, hatred, and racism. History did not leave humanity a flourishing life and a path filled with nurturing or guidance. It created an endlessly repeated story of Gone with the Wind movie. Racial actions appear in many ways in old and modern life, as if there is a hidden agreement of no reconciliation. This led to a culture that infuses division rather than unity, separation, togetherness, walking on eggshells, and no peace. As the common saying remind us," No Justice, No Peace."
Humans are sorted according to what feeds the conflict, and there is no peace. The energy of the mind becomes a struggle for those who seek peace at a time when peace is taken as weakness, cowardness, and making fun of, forgetting all those who paved the way to bring peace into the world; however, peace is the greatest enemy of the world. The conflict has to persist in keeping the outsider outside, keeping the unwanted away from growing and prospering, and keeping the old race for control running from one generation to the other. The clues get tired of the extensive amount of energy consumption in conflicts. Only humans created a race for the survival of the fittest and short gains. The loud noise of conflicts deafens the hearts, and souls, tumbling and mumbling becomes the norm, and disease is the outcome.
The food will only hurt you if you have inside restless conflicts unresolved. So your toxic emotional load toward others and yourself is sickening your cells. It creates impulsive, compulsive temperaments, attitudes, and behaviors. Humans' cultural blindness created a self-destructive tool for themselves and others. As you are not hurting others by emotional dumping or projecting, the result will hurt you over time. No stories throughout history showed promising results from conflicts; they were created as culture blindness mechanisms for nations, hate nations, groups hate groups, and individuals hate individuals projecting the history over and over from day to day. With every negative projection and attitude toward others, culture blindness is talking and manifesting itself in everyday interactions. Those who fought for freedom, projecting culture blindness on other cultures and races, it is implicit in the through patterns taught at an early age, allowing stereotyping to be expected no matter what. As if denying the fact that creation means change, trillions of cells die, and trillions of cells are replaced automatically with no effort from humans to do, it is automatically designed. Yet, humans deny each other change, refusing the natural truth of God's creation. No matter how much knowledge is available for humans in every life route, history keeps repeating itself; humans did not learn any lessons from the past, and feeding the same old toxic roots, watering them, and striving to ruin every single aspect can reflect peace. It is a battle within; projection is the continuous pattern of interaction. So it is a lost battle if you try to figure it out; conflict feeds on conflict, and peace is a foreign language and may cause severe allergic reactions. The inner beauty may cause a heart attack or kidney failure, so what do you think who created the culture of sickness and disease instead of health and healing? The air or the dust? The answer is yours no matter what; ignoring the truth will result in the continuation of a useless history, its goals only the loss. The battle is yours, the choice is yours, and the outcomes are yours, so wherever you go, what will reflect your inner soul conflict, culture blindness, or healing and peace within, a reconciliation with the SELF from troubling it across the history. The story runs on autopilot, and only you can turn the page. Peace!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman."
Friday, July 14, 2023
Healing Prayers for the troubled souls....
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To the average human who becomes hugely overwhelmed with the amount of suffering they experience in the world, putting them in a state of questioning the presence of God among all this endless struggle and suffering. When faith is interrupted by the socio-economic, political, cultural, and where they thought they belonged, and gradually have to face the truth that they are on the journey on their own, and all that they strived for can't bring the old human they were. When confidence and trust in the physical world allowed the presence of God within the heart, only a matter of precedence, and ritually to please others, to fit, to get what they aspire to get out of the world, the more, the better, the more, the dissipation within a load of excitement, fun, conquering new lands, markets, societies, the more the numbness present itself in choices, habits, communication, and connections, yet, when all of this blind the soul to see through the veil of deception, manipulation, and motives, the human becomes a tool to attain whatever in the minds of the other. Humans stay, after all, with pain and suffering, wondering how that happened? Humans are left with tight corners where choices are limited, and all choice left is hard to take in, as they will conform them to the truth they numbed for decades to faint in the voices of others.
Life has become like a market; noises prevent clarity, and many voices and distractions surround humans more than ever, from the noise to the chaos and decision-making in haste, or excitement, yet when the time comes, and the market is over, the sellers and buyers are left, humans left with choices they made at that time of haste or excitement, leaving them with either wondering, or regret. Emotions accumulate over time, changing the cells' communication, structure, and mechanism. Furthermore, changing the human within to be only a tool in the producers' hands, and becoming a consumer of whatever they are presented with, more change in the human cell, alteration, sickness, or illness due to the haste and chaos. And the older they get, fewer choices are left, anger persists, chaos manifest, and sickness or death. Asif humans are rebellious against themselves, with precedence, and separate from the self. God becomes a metaphor, and humans become the world's Gods. Seeing, doing, perceiving the world from the lens of the seen, tangible, and more.
It is a consuming life when suffering awaits at each corner of it. Over the ages, humans learned to torture themselves and one another. The peak of one had to come at the expense of the other. No win-win. It is the loud ego within. We all are guilty of that. The haste and chaos turned humans into targets to satisfy the ego, whether it is the hurting ego, the suppressed ego, the tourmented ego, the greedy ego, the lavish ego, the abuser ego, or the manipulative ego, and there are hundreds of labels, and titles for the human ego that were, are, and will be displayed in the world of haste and chaos.
Leaving a depleted soul, mind, and body. Leaving the cry out of relief, leaving a desire for all the suffering, hurt, and pain to be gone. Who can figure it out after melting within the haste and chaos, conflict, and confusion, the human excellent tools for breaking one another, not loving one another yet breaking one another, the reverse energy of the ego that strives for revenge or more, hate, or discrimination. None of the fruit of the holy spirit is present in this equation that hard to break in modern life. A complicated life and humans are paying the price. Don't wonder how life turned out to be this way. It is the manifestation of the ego or egos within a neglected soul. A life that is void of purpose, and service. A life that is made based on past inheritance of conflict, manipulation, and revenge, like in the old testament, no peace nations fought nations, and humans fought humans. Only how we look, wear, live in, or consume may change, yet the mind is still the same. So interesting, the seen can change its appearance. Yet, the mental inheritance is repeating itself with persistence in hurting one another, the deep motive and drive in the human animal to survive, the DNA inheritance of hunter-gatherer still running the human race, the core of the battle didn't change, or the restless race of rivalry, and revenge, hate, discrimination, and overwhelm within the haste, and chaos. When humans come to a point crying out for rest, peace, and comfort from all of this. May the healing prayer draw your attention to the fact that the race is still present, and the battle hasn't been done yet. May healing, peace, and grace surround your troubled soul. Peace!!.By: ME, "The old ancient woman."
Friday, July 7, 2023
Chasing assumptions and fading realities
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The more the world becomes busy and filled with things to do every single minute and everywhere, the many configure themselves around all these pieces of something taking place somewhere; the mind becomes running a million appointments within the day or like a running wheel till its shape fades with speed, and all you can see is the tire shadow. Yet, you can not come close to stopping it as you may get hurt, and yet it won't stop. However, who steered the wheel in the first place, something will need to be put in place, and the outcomes what take place instead. Forgetting ourselves within the speed of the wheel. Hence, comes the question," Do we contribute to wasting life, or does life happen as it has to happen? How do we alienate our connection with self first, to dissolve within the external voices of being somebody else or chasing something that does not align with you only because we are paying attention to the assumptions and the perception of what we think it should be?
The more technology accelerates the change in social life, it accelerates the human separation from realities. Billions are chasing assumptions and perceptions and are disconnected from realities. I can go to the point of confusion about man-made machines or machine-made men? It is hard to distinguish who influences who at this point in our age humans trust machines now more than themselves. What you wear or consume, how you look, and how you communicate are all tied to the image presented by the machine, void of the sense of reality. Human feelings and emotions are scripted according to what the matching announces; therefore, automated scripts take away the sensation of being human able to feel, think, and reason. What do they want? I have to admit since my isolation for almost a decade now, I did trust the machine to guide me to learn the world I am supposed to relate to. I learned a lot that I often wish I stayed ignorant as I used to be. Assumptions and perceptions can construct an optical illusion, yet no evidence proves it is an optical illusion, so it is perceived as accurate. So how many assumptions have you made that shaped the person you are right now? Are you happy with it? Can you sit with all your assumptions by the end of the day and witness the fruit they brought into your life to elevate and empower you, or are they leading you in a backward direction? Can you feel joy in allowing them into your life? Or you created this restless state of mind? The picture is beautiful from the outside, yet, having a zoom-in, you may discover another world that will connect you with the reality that not everything is meant to be shiny. Life is messy.
Unfortunately, humans get to live with a pure, clear mind, and over time it is intoxicated by the beliefs, culture, and other influences that alienate the first human, the one chasing assumptions and false perceptions and allowing realities to fade. Creating these conflicting parts of existence, and non-ending hate of self, reflecting it to others as punishment for not being themselves. It is not a fruitful, purposeful life; it is a masked life, depending on the situation the matching mask will be put on. Leaving humans exhausted, stressed, and filled with sadness and aches, the closest assumption is machine dependency, creating a more fake world that only exists in the images online. Running from self and fearing listening to what is real within the soul and mind. Chasing assumptions based on unreal perceptions creates suffering, illness, and disease since feelings and emotions are trapped within, creating this biotoxicity within the cell, manifesting in disorders and syndromes. So who made who? And how can we break the fear and face the self? Before it is too late to understand what you truly want and how this will bring back life to the human within. Peace!! By: ME,: The Old ancient woman."
Saturday, June 17, 2023
The forgotten Truth in Spaces of confusion, and false realities !
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The clock of life goes back and forth, bringing me to the times of early age when curiosity and questioned what everything means around me. You come to know the first line you belong to, who are your neighbors and community, and how this community is expanding along the way you grow, yet, you completely unaware that is not all the story to tell. Each of us has a terminal story that starts to grow from one spark of an event or incident; it could be traumatic or nurturing, distinguishing everyone in the room wherever we go. Have you ever asked yourself if you could read the room you are in or have a baseline about the approach of those around you? Suppose you are brought up in a nurturing environment. In that case, you will be seen differently, far-fetched, and goal-oriented, have self-awareness, and know your people, boundaries, and exactly what you want. Therefore, your internal compass guides you toward those that align with your values, principles, and goals. You understand the value of giving life and purpose seeking, elevating your life, and that like-minded others are related to your inner circle. The smaller the circle, the high impact on each one's life, as there is no time to waste with drama and other distractions the world is filled with everywhere you go.
In times when the dysfunctional dynamics of humans who missed the nurturing environment and healthy relationships, the confused identities, and struggle to be seen, heard, or understood. The definitive moment in each child's life that only requires God's grace to walk them through these dungeons they may be exposed to. How many in the world faced that moment. Nearly 99%of the world, that is truly shocking to realize everyone in the room had this moment of shaking, confused identities, no matter how old they are, trauma talks through their daily interactions, communications, decision making, and the outcomes that not only they struggle with but everyone involved, or present in their circle. No matter their sex, gender, age, race, ethnicity, socio-economic status, political affiliation, or community they related to. I say related to not belonging to, as belonging occurs only when confused identities do not exist, the person is comfortable with who they are, how they think, what they want to do, and who can be in their circle, and mostly owning their emotional maturity, and responsibilities.
The true soul vanished within the accumulation of the collective dysfunctional, maladaptive survival patterns of negative relationships that formulate a false perception of life, realities, and conditioning on toxic patterns of relating to others. Conditioning turns the true soul into a profound loss of self, disorganized cell functioning, and overdrive to risky behaviors to survive. It leads to self-destructive patterns that hide all truth and present only false realities, shaping a different perception about what they want from life. A chaotic sense of life, a world full of drama, trauma, and hurt instead of balance, peace, and well-being. It is a place of discomfort and enslaving humans into conditioning; if I need to feel this way, I must act this way or do it. And the conditioning never leads to satisfaction, calmness, and contentment; it leads to overdrive dopamine craving. Conditioning leads to the tolerance of the maladaptive behavior that is no longer enough; therefore, humans tend to do more, use more, and consume more as normal has never been enough at that moment that humans turn to a tool of what conditioning, whether toxic relationships, hate, revenge, or even self-destruction. The point is that humans become dangerous not only to themselves but to others as well, and here, we come to the common saying that hurt people hurt people sure to their overdrive dopamine craving to feel euphoric. However, it is a short-span feeling that takes the life out of the human and becomes conditioned by the excessive use or act. You don't see a human anymore. You experience a far-away reality from being human. The maladaptive dysfunction reflects on every aspect of their lives, even in the simplest common sense.
Here, through experience, you know they hurt you because they are hurting. They desire to scratch anything that does not look and suffer like them. The body's biochemistry became so toxic that negative perceptions and actions come naturally. They haven't experienced anything different from anxiousness, anger, fear, hate, envy, jealousy, or hard feelings that can drive disease. Not only physical diseases but spiritual ones too, the disrespect for anything or anyone they come intact with. That is trauma in action. Trauman is embedded in neurobiology; the body is in a reactive mood to survive and pronounce its existence through high-risk behaviors. Their deep longing for authentic connection and real life wasn't met through their first line of connection, family or relative. Their second line of connection is community, school, then work. They seek more dysfunctional relationships to continue the vicious cycle of insecure attachment, a window of opportunity for all those who prey on humans like this. They did not know how to be safe or trusted. All they know is defensiveness and hurt from their deepest fears that they will experience betrayal and lose their sense of belonging wherever they go. So they put the identity of the rebel, disobedient, troublemaker, or even the villain.
Conditioning and masking become the perceived realities everyone acts from. Someone out there will get me, so I have to get them first; survival of the fittest and natural selection based on the reptilian, mammalian brain, the actual human disappeared. The sense of inner beauty is a foreign language; having knowledge, skills, and abilities are hypocritic words and don't belong to life. Loss of self-value and others' value is the norm. Understanding how much they are loved by God is taken ironically, and more indulgence in their dopamine craving becomes the true God. Trusting in the external provides temporary delusional feelings and forgetting the inner soul suffering from humans wandering in a world of cravings and desires to hurt others. A world that may lead to the forgotten truth of the soul, separating the true self from the real world that God created for us to prosper, learn, educate, and thrive for God's goodness in doing good. To take your soul to a level of honor and dignity as sons and daughters of the King of Kings. We are called to have meaning and purpose in life, to witness the fruits of our work, and to thrive to elevate the soul to a place of nobility and respect. If you see your true self, you will owe a massive apology for wasting your life in so many detours and hurting yourself and others; you will start to see the good God wants for you. You will have an authentic life and sense of belonging before it is too late to do so. I am filled with sadness each time I witness the false realities that humans accept to be in to survive and lose their inner souls. Each adult starts with themselves and knows that whatever you see is only a perceived reality, not the real one. Peace 🙏 By: ME, "The ancient old woman."
Saturday, May 27, 2023
The Self between separation and connection...
With almost 8 billion people on earth still human soul is struggling to find its way into self awareness, empathy, compassion, kindness, and conscienscience. Urbanization, modernization and all the ,"tion, ion" expressions found their way into the industrialized, materialized ambition of human being. The more it is upgraded, humans elevate their egocentric nature into another level of separation. Increased state of conflict internal and external as human physical capacity is sort of limited , the giant times have passed where they exceeded all the measurement of modern life, however they were not many.The history keep telling the story as a ysmblosim of challenging powers, for example Goliath and David, Simmson and Jezebel. Physical characteristic formed a picture for generations that physical features are more important than spiritual, and the search for the authentic self. Physical appearance became the focus in measuring human worth, how much you accumulate is the determinatal rubrics to size people up. And societies rules are written. The more physical, materialistic rubrics added, the wider the separation becomes. The separation of authentic self faint in racing the rubrics, and how much you are ready to play hard for this, the outcome will be most of the time,"It depends", the hidden giants of the modern world are not seen by naked eyes, they are thoughts, feelings, habits, lifestyle, or even natural or no-natural influences from peer pressures, social pressures, natural disasters, and man-made conflicts.
Humans defence mechanisms turn to be with protective factors for reasonable or lavish life, or risk factors for self-destruction. Unfortunately, humans are the subjective matter in these mechanisms, and how much awareness within human life, it determines their way of life which will turn their desriptive matters. some are seen, others are battling the sense of erusion within the soul separation ,and subjected to the external influences. it is the human battlefield for survival, shaping their central nervous system ,and entric nervous system. Al ink is ignored to shed the light on , to understand as humans thoughts, feelings, emotions and experiences are changing this make-up metabolically, and functionally , manifested in behaviors and diseases. The human giants are micro organisms, that are waiting for the right formula to cause the havoc in human life, altering their way of thinking, living, doing, and acting. It is a complex mechanism. Unfortunately, the Self separation, means the whole person connection is altered by the seen, and unseen giants that manipulate and control the human life. The fear, and stress response is embedded within humans DNA, cell membrane, and here instead of reversing these unwanted biologic inheritance, humans sought more wildly experiences to increase the suffering of the soul, and increase the layers of confusion, dysfunction, and sickness. Deviation from the authentic self to rediscover the Self ,and connect with it to fulfill its purpose and meaning. I hope you tune into the wasted life in seeking the external approval ,and chechinking all the boxes of the rubric, and listen to the yearning soul to connect with your authentic self first, then you can understand the how, and the why? Peace. By: ME, "The old ancient woman."
Tuesday, May 16, 2023
The non- linear journey of healing trauma
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Why don't I want to stop separating myself from investigating and exploring the trauma-healing journey? The journey reveals much about the human soul, the core essence of beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, and actions or reactions. Many are showing in the world with the traumatized self, reflecting in their actions, communications, and interaction with the world building these perceptive assumptions about one another. So interestingly that many also think that healing trauma can be done in a 12, or six-week therapeutic journey and wonder why this experience keeps falling short of meeting with the soul,and redirecting the person into their authentic self, taking responsibility for their part of the tests, trails, or challenging experiences, identifying the setbacks, detours, overwhelm, distress, and the attitudes when the person is struggling with lots of stressors into their day, or life in general, the time the person sought help, or contemplating about getting help. Ignoring the role of the biochemistry of the mind-body connections and its role in changing gene expression, the role of inflammation, mitochondria decline, gene mutations, and environmental factors come into play with the person's internal and external makeup. It is said that our emotions are traced back into 14 generations embedded into our DNA. Hence, fight-flight-feeze-fawn are already designed within our DNA, and the environment allows these reactions to keep showing up through the build-up environment, triggers, and repeated negative experiences.
No one has time to trace their DNA traumatic experiences for 14 generations. However, this knowledge is a double-edged sword. it can be suitable for discovering new biomedical solutions to treat human suffering or being used to target specific races and ethnicity to design experiences to increase the body's traumatic response leading to the persistence of the vicious cycle of grief, morbidity, and mortality, and that is where AI danger lies. It goes beyond applying knowledge and having it in the hands of those who understand such algorithms. Therefore, controlling the human species only by designing environments and experiments to either allow them to flourish or destroy them by impacting their genetic predisposition. It is another ambition for those with the knowledge and power to manipulate the human genome by using their neurobiology and targeting antibodies.
History has many experiences when science was intended to do no harm and contribute to humanity and when the same intention is used to destroy humanity, for example, Alfred Nobel and Fritz Harber. Can the fear of AI control lie in promoting the predictable outcomes of human makeup in the coming 50 years? So, why do I mention AI, human genetic sequencing, and the highly equipped algorithm in science and medicine relating to trauma? I hope you will get the image that traumatic experiences can start at a primitive level depending on the knowledge and motives of the offender and their awareness of doing harm on somebody, starting from bullying, gaslighting, monopoly, sanctions, torture, depriving someone or group of their rights, polarization, discrimination, till highly sophisticated, intelligent macro impact of human species through AI. Media and social media have reached their limit to changing the psych neurobiology of humans since countermeasures are built to protect humans from its negative influence on human capacities. AI has no boundaries, and it's a machine that has no emotional parameters or is able to navigate through the soul of humans. It can cause unpredictable harm to humans, specifically the vulnerable, who are depleted by all sources of targeted psych neuro tactics through built environments and experiences.
In addition to the complexity of healing trauma, we must pay attention to our inner built-up. Have you considered inventorying your vulnerabilities, weaknesses, and setbacks to extract the pattern that brought you down and depleted your energy and resources? Where can you define yourself in the new world classification of humans? Are you classified as an ally, enemy, potential, dead-end, outlier, candidate, point of attack, point of entry, target, frontline, rising star, or commander? There are many classifications to humans in the outrageous, unpredictable changeable matrix of the socio-economic, political, and religious frame utilizing science and technology to keep the race toward the top of the world in power. Unfortunately, no regard for the human soul as it is seen that some nations have to rise. Others have to be put down, yet, the human equation in terms of healing and reconciliation within the real humans regarding their life and their needs to have a balanced life full of clarity, intention, and meaning. Unfortunately, many changes on the level of the human soul occur among few groups that believe in the right of humans regardless of their race, color, ethnicity, language, faith, or political affiliation, as their core value is to alleviate suffering, reach the human soul to heal, create, and contribute to one another. Take your inventory, and be honest with yourself. If you are not honest with yourself, don't expect the world will be honest with you. The world that you are seeking to discover. The world of healing doesn't allow space for more drama, dishonesty, games, and manipulation.
Take your inventory, reflect on it, and ask yourself if you are satisfied with the results you came to. If you are pleased, why? If you aren't happy, why? What can you do differently? What experiences do you want to expose yourself to so the healing can take place? And make a list of these experiences, find where they are, and start your microdoses of healing with no permission from anybody. As it is your own unique journey, it may surprise you how much you were blinded by the state of overwhelm, reacting from past trauma, trapped in the time of significant events that allowed to dwell in your cell membrane and separate the mind and body, creating a conflicting soul, disrupted, and overwhelmed. Be aware that generational trauma will try to stay with you as the protector of your identity, yet it is fake. It creates misconceptions and assumptions and manipulates us into a world of delusion, not the truth.
You will become aware of distinguishing the voice of truth and fakeness on the healing journey. By asking questions, the human soul will be revealed to you. Be more observant than a reactant, and that requires practice. You will understand many are joining the game of classification, yet only some are working on their healing. You will realize that opening your heart and mind to connect to the truth is entirely different from engaging in quick-fix delusional realities, which will leave you high and dry, more depleted than before, more consumed, and that is the designed built-up environment, and experiences that target the DNA multigenerational trauma pattern in you. Covid-19 updated the target DNA Bank, and it won't be the last since decades ago with the Spanish flu, for example. Peace!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman."
Tuesday, May 2, 2023
Alleviating Human Suffering.... The complex equation of social justice and the predisposed realties
















