The clock of life goes back and forth, bringing me to the times of early age when curiosity and questioned what everything means around me. You come to know the first line you belong to, who are your neighbors and community, and how this community is expanding along the way you grow, yet, you completely unaware that is not all the story to tell. Each of us has a terminal story that starts to grow from one spark of an event or incident; it could be traumatic or nurturing, distinguishing everyone in the room wherever we go. Have you ever asked yourself if you could read the room you are in or have a baseline about the approach of those around you? Suppose you are brought up in a nurturing environment. In that case, you will be seen differently, far-fetched, and goal-oriented, have self-awareness, and know your people, boundaries, and exactly what you want. Therefore, your internal compass guides you toward those that align with your values, principles, and goals. You understand the value of giving life and purpose seeking, elevating your life, and that like-minded others are related to your inner circle. The smaller the circle, the high impact on each one's life, as there is no time to waste with drama and other distractions the world is filled with everywhere you go.
In times when the dysfunctional dynamics of humans who missed the nurturing environment and healthy relationships, the confused identities, and struggle to be seen, heard, or understood. The definitive moment in each child's life that only requires God's grace to walk them through these dungeons they may be exposed to. How many in the world faced that moment. Nearly 99%of the world, that is truly shocking to realize everyone in the room had this moment of shaking, confused identities, no matter how old they are, trauma talks through their daily interactions, communications, decision making, and the outcomes that not only they struggle with but everyone involved, or present in their circle. No matter their sex, gender, age, race, ethnicity, socio-economic status, political affiliation, or community they related to. I say related to not belonging to, as belonging occurs only when confused identities do not exist, the person is comfortable with who they are, how they think, what they want to do, and who can be in their circle, and mostly owning their emotional maturity, and responsibilities.
The true soul vanished within the accumulation of the collective dysfunctional, maladaptive survival patterns of negative relationships that formulate a false perception of life, realities, and conditioning on toxic patterns of relating to others. Conditioning turns the true soul into a profound loss of self, disorganized cell functioning, and overdrive to risky behaviors to survive. It leads to self-destructive patterns that hide all truth and present only false realities, shaping a different perception about what they want from life. A chaotic sense of life, a world full of drama, trauma, and hurt instead of balance, peace, and well-being. It is a place of discomfort and enslaving humans into conditioning; if I need to feel this way, I must act this way or do it. And the conditioning never leads to satisfaction, calmness, and contentment; it leads to overdrive dopamine craving. Conditioning leads to the tolerance of the maladaptive behavior that is no longer enough; therefore, humans tend to do more, use more, and consume more as normal has never been enough at that moment that humans turn to a tool of what conditioning, whether toxic relationships, hate, revenge, or even self-destruction. The point is that humans become dangerous not only to themselves but to others as well, and here, we come to the common saying that hurt people hurt people sure to their overdrive dopamine craving to feel euphoric. However, it is a short-span feeling that takes the life out of the human and becomes conditioned by the excessive use or act. You don't see a human anymore. You experience a far-away reality from being human. The maladaptive dysfunction reflects on every aspect of their lives, even in the simplest common sense.
Here, through experience, you know they hurt you because they are hurting. They desire to scratch anything that does not look and suffer like them. The body's biochemistry became so toxic that negative perceptions and actions come naturally. They haven't experienced anything different from anxiousness, anger, fear, hate, envy, jealousy, or hard feelings that can drive disease. Not only physical diseases but spiritual ones too, the disrespect for anything or anyone they come intact with. That is trauma in action. Trauman is embedded in neurobiology; the body is in a reactive mood to survive and pronounce its existence through high-risk behaviors. Their deep longing for authentic connection and real life wasn't met through their first line of connection, family or relative. Their second line of connection is community, school, then work. They seek more dysfunctional relationships to continue the vicious cycle of insecure attachment, a window of opportunity for all those who prey on humans like this. They did not know how to be safe or trusted. All they know is defensiveness and hurt from their deepest fears that they will experience betrayal and lose their sense of belonging wherever they go. So they put the identity of the rebel, disobedient, troublemaker, or even the villain.
Conditioning and masking become the perceived realities everyone acts from. Someone out there will get me, so I have to get them first; survival of the fittest and natural selection based on the reptilian, mammalian brain, the actual human disappeared. The sense of inner beauty is a foreign language; having knowledge, skills, and abilities are hypocritic words and don't belong to life. Loss of self-value and others' value is the norm. Understanding how much they are loved by God is taken ironically, and more indulgence in their dopamine craving becomes the true God. Trusting in the external provides temporary delusional feelings and forgetting the inner soul suffering from humans wandering in a world of cravings and desires to hurt others. A world that may lead to the forgotten truth of the soul, separating the true self from the real world that God created for us to prosper, learn, educate, and thrive for God's goodness in doing good. To take your soul to a level of honor and dignity as sons and daughters of the King of Kings. We are called to have meaning and purpose in life, to witness the fruits of our work, and to thrive to elevate the soul to a place of nobility and respect. If you see your true self, you will owe a massive apology for wasting your life in so many detours and hurting yourself and others; you will start to see the good God wants for you. You will have an authentic life and sense of belonging before it is too late to do so. I am filled with sadness each time I witness the false realities that humans accept to be in to survive and lose their inner souls. Each adult starts with themselves and knows that whatever you see is only a perceived reality, not the real one. Peace 🙏 By: ME, "The ancient old woman."
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