I thought it is over, the triggers, the shadows that are keeping track of my existence in the world. If you keep on remembering the injustice and the valleys in the deep dark of the life of days of the past. Healing is like open heart surgery, casting all your care on Him as you have no strength through this. Walking the roads of the unknown, seeking the light at the end of the tunnel. Are these my fears or the aftermath hurricane within. Wondering can I make it through? and where am I going? Or there is something I can not see clearly yet. Looking for evidence and cues to make sense and trying to make it through. Asking LORD will you allow me to see clearly for my weary soul cannot fathom the exact message you are trying to tell. Mixed vision leads to nothing but confusion. And confusion does not let you look at the way so clear, wondering what you mean lord, shall I stop searching or keep it on? LORD, I love straightforward messages, messages that make sense and lead me to the right path of my life. I am going in loops wasting my days and life in questions have no answers.
Lord, YOU have given me a new year with new days and breath. Help me to understand your will for me. I am crushed in the life of competition and racism. Yes, walking ignorant of what is around and what does it mean, let me fall in deep valleys that took a lot of my life. LORD, I take all responsibility of my ignorance, teach me, lord, lead me as I can not see clearly. search my heart OH1 LORD, I can not do it on my own. Walk me through the valleys. Lead me to the right path. Each day you give to me is a gift, I am your servant and you are my master, show me the walk. Take my hand and walk me through this. My longing to alive filled with joy and grace. My longing to plant a seed in any child I meet. My longing for straightforward honest conversations. My longing for a life that reflects your image within me. Yes, lord 2019 is a year that I cry out to you to reveal yourself to me in ways that I can not fathom as you are the God of miracles. Yes, lord nothing is hard for you, open the gates of your grace and mercy, lead me to the right path with complete confidence that you are my creator, lord of lords and king of kings, shouting your name out loud to praise you and sing a song of joy and grace, Lord make 2019 a year of praise, a year of thoughtfulness to everything around. Lord open my eyes to see the truth.
I did my best to understand and yet I can not get the clear picture, lord help me to understand and do what is right in your eyes and you will be pleased with it, heal this heart oh! lord. Strengthen my body, praying for complete healing to be a witness for your awesome love to me, by ME" The Old Ancient Woman"
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