Yes, sometimes we come to this point when we keep on hearing the tinkling go on and on, and here you are wondering should I put a step forward and move? Or, stop and keep this sound getting into my hear. Patterns of trapping my soul are keeping happening as if the tinkling sound is not happy with my movements in life. Being willing to see and understand the big picture and not being a prisoner of life anymore. How many of us questioned the meaning of their lives? And how many gave authorities to the outside to control the way you see yourself and the way you see the world around you? Unanswered questions as you are not counted as a human. You are not invited to real life. Delivering untrue picture about reality, causing that confusion and isolation far away from reality. How many of us witnessed how much have been wasted in the wrong places and not the right group. The more you are trying to scratch your way even with your difficulty of breath, here small windows are trying to show you what real life means.
Do not be sad or frustrated as situations reflect the true human nature we are surrounded with. Do you say I love you, I did not get it as your actions completely are saying something else. A stab at the back, holding me back to understand and learn what true life means. Life taught me hard lessons, not everything is being said is real or the full truth. We live in a very twisted world. Multi-layered of complexity. No one can deny that. If you would like to see the crust, you will not feel the suffering really well. I wish I have that sense of understanding the crust of life only. That would have saved me lots of troubles I had and still facing till the recent moment. I have never been satisfied with the crust. My hunger for learning and understanding put me in a real trail and my life on edge most of the time. No rest yet it became a source of discomfort for those who around me. What is seen is not the reality. There is a big scenario behind the scene.
No deny of the existence of the coalition within groups of societies, and the more the common interest has multiple elements, the more the success of coalition is . We are in a culture where individual stand out , not on the list. As it said if you don't have a specific group to be identified with, the community won't be able to admit your presence within life as you do not match the norm and can not be controlled or being used till the last drop of your life. No identity, no presence, using the the strong power of coalition impact, to silence any effort your trying to make, silencing your presence, silencing your existing, keeping track of your faults, waiting the chance for any fault you do and catch it, and bring this disappointment over and over on the table ,the discouragement card ,the success card. The key to bring you back to the point zero, the railstop and that tinkling sound to resay quit, run away, you are not wanted here, you do not belong here, waiting and waiting and the sound does not want to stop, closing all gates that may exist so your breath wil become more and more short, no strength, no life no existence and farewell.
Wait a minute is this God's plan or your worldly plan that is being used over the centuries to feel the power and sovereignty over certain race or particular mindset. I admit my mindset is not easy to deal with as my deal is with God who made me the way I am amd the way He meant for me to be. Wow How many times God said the final word. I am saying said as in my deep bottom of the heart He already did it and it is all about me to be willing to say Yes LORD with no speck of doubt I am yours. My joy comes from you. My joy rest in you. Over and over, the world is crushing me down and YOU LORD Alone reshaping me, recreating me within to say LORD Yes, Iam all yours. My cry out to you to bring the right people into my life , I totally believe LORD You created me for so much more than what the world keeping putting on my shoulders . It is hard for me to count the stones, I collect them to build my mountain that I will climb and see you face to face. Yes,LORD Iam Yours, Walking with you, gives me assurance that Your power is higher than anyother worldly power.
LORD lead me guide me , I have no clue which path I have to go, lots in my mind . By ME" The Old Ancient Woman "
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