2018 is almost done. With all its lessons nothing to say but, thank you. A big thank you. Whatever it brought, it was an eye-opening to so many realities. Who are you and how do you identify yourself within the present you live in. There is a big uncovering too many truths around. First, you only belong to God. What we see every day goes back to our own perspective of how we see it, interpret it and deal with it. In the real world, there is no true connection, we are all passengers heading to different destinations, yet there are moments we have to be in them together and what is happening in the brain, a sense of longing and scenarios about the destination you are heading to. So whatever responses, promises, decisions may occur during these moments, they are not real, they are meant to keep the flow of conversation and passing moments that sometimes we have no choice in them, we are exposed to them. Whatever you want to believe or take goes back to how mature and understanding the nature of these moments, so you won't get confused or frustrated after that. The train of life has no end as it ends when you say goodbye I am going home. The final destination where your life will unfold in plink of an eye to you and here you will reach the full truth of everything you have been through.
Understanding the journey save time and lives as well. Understanding may be costly or it can come within by the help of the holy spirit within you. When realities say things to break you down, crush you as again many perspectives are around, the enemy won't give up and will try everything to beat you down, that is his plan. He won't you have an easy life since you are chosen and brought with a price. yes, a price, sometimes it is a physical price and many times it is Godly price paid on the cross even when you didn't even exist. Your price was paid in advance. The true Jesus loved you so much that He gave his life so you may have a life. Jesus knew and understood the fierce battle was set up for us in advance to, Jesus had mercy and pity on his own people. Jesus knows the cruelty of unsaved soul and what can it do for his people. Jesus knew it so well. Here comes our own limited nature and understanding. The world voices are so loud that we are caught up in them. Do this as many do it, say this as may say it. that is the way it works. Loops of illusion and deceit in a vicious cycle of in vain battles only cost the joy of life. Battling these battles with a heart filled with longing to God's grace and favor may leave you more and weaker. The body has limits to take in. We are not a story written in a book. We are not an object that is being controlled by the cruelty of the world. We are not priceless. We are The King of kings and The Lord of lords possessions, crowned by His endless love that gives us every moment of breath. Have you thought about it what life means without a breath, a healthy breath? Being caught up within the loud voices of the world, one day you wake up and realize how short this breath is, sure it is the toughest moment you can live as you can not go back the same you were one day. Oh! Jesus thank you for your love to us, you do understand very well the cruelty of the world upon us and our lives.
Once you come to know where you are and how much you took in, you breathe his grace, not your own strength or the voices that were loud one day, gradually these voices fade, not loud anymore, you see how distant you became for this world. Walking the road of silence and a deep belief that you truly belong to The ONE who made you from the beginning. So true, the walk of silence allows you to see more clear, seeking His wisdom as He is The ONLY ONE who can walk you through this, understanding that you are more than story on the papers, knowing your worth and desires, walking with confidence and peace within that He is God who knows and sees so what else we can long for?
Waking up every morning, with a smile of thankfulness for He is enough, He is good and faithful. God what a joyful conversation I have every single day with you Abba, daddy, You caring love to me carries me through the unknown and that is where my heart is, so forgive me as my heart is so filled with God's love to me and every day I am giving my life to Him, He is trustworthy and never say something and means something else. My God is a straightforward God, His love never shaken or changed through the days. He is aware of each battle I face. He is aware of every scheme against me. It is all comes back to where your heart is? By: ME"The Old Ancient Woman"
Sunday, December 30, 2018
Tuesday, December 25, 2018
Wondering
so interesting how do we see everything around us differently from one year to another, from one phase to another. So strange, the same places I go or see most of the days, now look so different to me. Things I used to do, I wonder how this could happen one day. As a child taking everything in its raw form. No layers or multiple meanings, usage and interpretation. A big sigh for all the moments I couldn't stand my ground and say this is me and do not ever try to fix me. As you break me and it happened. Standing broken unable to do what I used to do or once I thought this is the way to live and be alive. A big sigh to this childish soul that once exist within me. Wondering why do I have to learn it the hard way to grow up. Jesus said to keep the heart of a child and here it is smashed into million pieces as this is not the true life or the true world we live in.
Standing on top of the hill, looking at the green wide meadows that reflect the endless horizon of God's free gift to us. Looking at the still water at a frigid temperature and only stillness comes back to you with such freezing wind to wake you up from the hardness of life. The world is wide, yet with our limitations as humans, we only see under our feet. Like an elephant despite its size, it can only see under its feet. Elephants wander together, depend on each other, may communicate loudly, yet not too much to accomplish. Being trapped in the physical limitations and fears of facing a fierce wild animal they couldn't fight back. Oh! Jesus why I always go back to the jungle culture and philosophy? Am I unable to see true humanity or my vision is confused and limited that I can not see farther than under my feet?
Walking with caution as the next sting is unpredictable, the next punch in the face I do not know who is going to do it. Walking with a step forward and ten steps back, as a tired fighter of the useless game. I am, not a wrestler so why? Walking unsure of the smiles, are they authentic are they true? My head is full of questions to wonder what all this is about? With everything, I do take responsibility for all the decisions I made. Limitations and ignorance can take your life to a deep fall unless you realize that. So scary to trust where you shouldn't, to step in where you shouldn't. What is true and where you can live it and be just you, the true you where your humanity is not on a scale for sale?
The year is ending and I feel a completely different person. Unable to speak, yet what I see does not worth to say a word. Wondering what all this about and when we can live true to ourselves with no question of each one worth. Standing on solid ground that we all belong to THE ONLY ONE GOD, The ONE who gave you everything you need without any question or a plan to beat you down.
All the way long I turn to HIM, My creator, and my defense, HE made me the way I am so please honor that or move on and change your direction as it will be a detour with NO ENTRY sign on it.
God Thank you for creating all this beauty within. By: ME" The Old Ancient Woman"
Standing on top of the hill, looking at the green wide meadows that reflect the endless horizon of God's free gift to us. Looking at the still water at a frigid temperature and only stillness comes back to you with such freezing wind to wake you up from the hardness of life. The world is wide, yet with our limitations as humans, we only see under our feet. Like an elephant despite its size, it can only see under its feet. Elephants wander together, depend on each other, may communicate loudly, yet not too much to accomplish. Being trapped in the physical limitations and fears of facing a fierce wild animal they couldn't fight back. Oh! Jesus why I always go back to the jungle culture and philosophy? Am I unable to see true humanity or my vision is confused and limited that I can not see farther than under my feet?
Walking with caution as the next sting is unpredictable, the next punch in the face I do not know who is going to do it. Walking with a step forward and ten steps back, as a tired fighter of the useless game. I am, not a wrestler so why? Walking unsure of the smiles, are they authentic are they true? My head is full of questions to wonder what all this is about? With everything, I do take responsibility for all the decisions I made. Limitations and ignorance can take your life to a deep fall unless you realize that. So scary to trust where you shouldn't, to step in where you shouldn't. What is true and where you can live it and be just you, the true you where your humanity is not on a scale for sale?
The year is ending and I feel a completely different person. Unable to speak, yet what I see does not worth to say a word. Wondering what all this about and when we can live true to ourselves with no question of each one worth. Standing on solid ground that we all belong to THE ONLY ONE GOD, The ONE who gave you everything you need without any question or a plan to beat you down.
All the way long I turn to HIM, My creator, and my defense, HE made me the way I am so please honor that or move on and change your direction as it will be a detour with NO ENTRY sign on it.
God Thank you for creating all this beauty within. By: ME" The Old Ancient Woman"
Sunday, December 16, 2018
2018 Reflections
Wow, another year is almost about to say goodbye. With all its experiences, it showed me another window of life. Another year to reveal how far I walked and how much I learned. If I go back to rewind this year, the only thing and person I would rewind is myself. No blame but me, my ignorance took me into many experiences that one day I thought I will never go through them. Wondering God what do you want to teach me here. I am crushed to the point that it is hard for me to believe in anything I see or hear. It is hard for me to believe the same words over and over and expect different actions. When situations occur over and over and conversations occur over and over, why should I believe there will be a change this time or expecting different results? That is foolishness as my ignorance is so clear to anyone deals with me.
By ignorance, I mean that allowing the same conversations and promises that weren't and won't carry out year after year, so clear that the lesson is not taught yet. It repeats itself so I can learn the lesson. Walking alone may be the best choice till I have a clear picture what all this about. Walking alone teaches you that the only true relationship and promises that are made by God not humans. I learned a big lesson not to count on any words being said as they won't be carried out. It is the nature of the true tough world we live in. Many times I say, please don't say something and you know for sure, it won't be carried out. This widens the gaps more and more and more walls are being built. A wall that by the time it hard to be broken. So, train yourself not to count on any words you hear or being said. Move on and count your blessings. Collect all the stones to remind you of the lessons that came your way. Honor God in each step you take. The only one you will hold accountable before is God. He made you the way you are. So interesting when you remember all the valleys that I walked through and experiencing the same situations. The same message is repeating itself," you do not deserve this or that, and the same scenario of being invisible and not be considered as a human being. Controlled life no true freedom of choice. So interesting to find yourself going in a vicious loop and no way out. Coping with this vicious loop is like watching your fall with no strength to fight back.
Each year we are celebrating the birth of the savior while you witness your life as a prisoner of something you have no clue about. Calling out to God," Will you explain to me what all this about, I do not understand and I am tired? With wondering voice that has no answer or clarity what all this about and why me? Walking from valley to valley, shadows of racing unknown faces trying to hold me back with envy and unexplained hatred and inconsiderate messages. Hammering this weak soul until she is beaten and has no strength to fight back, like David calling upon your name, LORD why you left me in this vicious loop with no way out. Like Joseph has no clue why he was sold, mistreated and imprisoned and crushed. Like Job, even the flesh was not well, Like Daniel in the den of the lion. Like Ruth in a foreign land. God, do tell me so clear what do you want to teach me of all of this.
Stopping and doing nothing, taking a step back to understand, waiting at the shore to understand and see if the water is safe to cross. No more believing what I hear or see, only putting my trust in you LORD alone. Nothing is worthy if we are not honest with ourselves first. No sugar coating no hiding not to say the truth. LORD, you are the greatest mind of all. LORD, you are the Mighty and able God to change the situation for your glory OH! LORD. With my weary soul, I put my life again in Your hand LORD, let you will be done not mine. Search my heart Oh! lord and guide my steps and guide my heart. I have no clue what to do next or which way to go all I know that You will carry me through this , 2018 thank you for all the lessons you brought me to, as they all reflect the broken heart and the shorthand of hatred and impure hearts that trust only in the flesh, not God. God thank you for revealing to me many truths and keeping me in your hand. LORD waking in life with a question will you show me the way? By: ME" the old ancient Woman"
By ignorance, I mean that allowing the same conversations and promises that weren't and won't carry out year after year, so clear that the lesson is not taught yet. It repeats itself so I can learn the lesson. Walking alone may be the best choice till I have a clear picture what all this about. Walking alone teaches you that the only true relationship and promises that are made by God not humans. I learned a big lesson not to count on any words being said as they won't be carried out. It is the nature of the true tough world we live in. Many times I say, please don't say something and you know for sure, it won't be carried out. This widens the gaps more and more and more walls are being built. A wall that by the time it hard to be broken. So, train yourself not to count on any words you hear or being said. Move on and count your blessings. Collect all the stones to remind you of the lessons that came your way. Honor God in each step you take. The only one you will hold accountable before is God. He made you the way you are. So interesting when you remember all the valleys that I walked through and experiencing the same situations. The same message is repeating itself," you do not deserve this or that, and the same scenario of being invisible and not be considered as a human being. Controlled life no true freedom of choice. So interesting to find yourself going in a vicious loop and no way out. Coping with this vicious loop is like watching your fall with no strength to fight back.
Each year we are celebrating the birth of the savior while you witness your life as a prisoner of something you have no clue about. Calling out to God," Will you explain to me what all this about, I do not understand and I am tired? With wondering voice that has no answer or clarity what all this about and why me? Walking from valley to valley, shadows of racing unknown faces trying to hold me back with envy and unexplained hatred and inconsiderate messages. Hammering this weak soul until she is beaten and has no strength to fight back, like David calling upon your name, LORD why you left me in this vicious loop with no way out. Like Joseph has no clue why he was sold, mistreated and imprisoned and crushed. Like Job, even the flesh was not well, Like Daniel in the den of the lion. Like Ruth in a foreign land. God, do tell me so clear what do you want to teach me of all of this.
Stopping and doing nothing, taking a step back to understand, waiting at the shore to understand and see if the water is safe to cross. No more believing what I hear or see, only putting my trust in you LORD alone. Nothing is worthy if we are not honest with ourselves first. No sugar coating no hiding not to say the truth. LORD, you are the greatest mind of all. LORD, you are the Mighty and able God to change the situation for your glory OH! LORD. With my weary soul, I put my life again in Your hand LORD, let you will be done not mine. Search my heart Oh! lord and guide my steps and guide my heart. I have no clue what to do next or which way to go all I know that You will carry me through this , 2018 thank you for all the lessons you brought me to, as they all reflect the broken heart and the shorthand of hatred and impure hearts that trust only in the flesh, not God. God thank you for revealing to me many truths and keeping me in your hand. LORD waking in life with a question will you show me the way? By: ME" the old ancient Woman"
Wednesday, December 12, 2018
Fixing Our Hearts
Almost every year I am losing someone I have met in my journey in the battle of cancer. Each one of them left a mark on my road of life. Remembering their welcoming spirit and smiles, their words of encouragement for me to be strong and brave and learn new things. Yes, their impact on the lives of others that what will be remembered. In a world of dividedness and continuous struggle to snatch out of the hands whatever possible in a world that it is hard to believe the talk while actions show something else. In a world that is filled with conflicts over authority, power and money and who is in and who is out. We lose precious souls. They are the only ones who see the truth now. Maybe their spirit will still live and roam around us, yet, they are in heaven aware of the true meaning of this life.
We walk through life with all its bumps, we learn from those who insist on hurting us wondering what wrong you did or do to them. Some choose to walk with a heart filled with hate and prejudice no matter what that is how they see the world. I have to get what I want or no place for others or conflicts never end. Turning the gift of life into a piece of hell.
We learn from those who use us and see us as an object, not humans. Ignoring the fact that we are from ashes to ashes and from dust to dust. When compassion and kindness are taking advantage of, you have to skill office politics and walk between the lines or you will be crazy and not a human. In a world that is draining your cup and does not want to stop and think why all of these destructive and disruptive energies you question what is the worth of all of that and if life truly what is being delivered to you.
We stand our ground when we are rejected over and over and the cycle does not want to end. Wondering why the world is looking for deficit, lack, shortage and never been enough. In a world that is looking for stains to cover you with, to fill you with shame, belittling and outcast, I wonder who wants to live in a minute in a world like that. Oh! my God, each soul is carrying a heavy burden of shaming others, bullying, disrespect, humiliation, and unrested angry souls. Looking for conflicts each minute of the day.Oh! Jesus, I am sure that is not from you, the world absorbed the souls that it is hard to come to the core of our foundation THE ONE AND ONLY GOD. God, it is not about you, nope.
We survive in a world that is based on pragmatism. If you do so and so for me, I will do so and so in return till the business is done and then walk in the world like strangers. I got lost between what really true means? Or how you build your life upon. For me, I took Jesus literally. I don't mix the flesh with the spirit. Or by means I am a human as Jesus came to be tested, I am exposed for that too. One day I said and promised God I am your servant, now it reflects how hard it is. I am sliced every single day with judgment either physical or mentally. When you see every soul as God's given gift and understand when you are appreciating this gift that honors God and makes Him pleased with your perspective. It sounds like I am in my la La land and that is not how the world is functioning.
We come back to the vicious cycle that does not want to end, as what you can offer is not accepted, it is being judged to the deepest point. Seeking kindness, compassion and transparency are words in the books or commercials only. As they are tools to be used for particular targets that will serve the world agenda and scenarios. Forgive lord I am seeking hope in all things to understand, to reach a solid ground, not a shaken one. I am trying my best to understand why all such hate toward a person like me? Searching for the truth, all I sow is coming back to me in lashes, no mercy. I wonder why we choose to load our hearts with such humongous hate, prejudice, and racism when we are having the free will to choose to walk in God's acceptance for all of us all. LORD my soul is weary life is short and lots of things are happening all around us, why still we choose to hate? unanswered question till Jesus comes back again and each one of us run their own race. Jesus walk me through this I am weary It is hard to believe is such world we live in,by: ME The Old Ancient WOman"
We walk through life with all its bumps, we learn from those who insist on hurting us wondering what wrong you did or do to them. Some choose to walk with a heart filled with hate and prejudice no matter what that is how they see the world. I have to get what I want or no place for others or conflicts never end. Turning the gift of life into a piece of hell.
We learn from those who use us and see us as an object, not humans. Ignoring the fact that we are from ashes to ashes and from dust to dust. When compassion and kindness are taking advantage of, you have to skill office politics and walk between the lines or you will be crazy and not a human. In a world that is draining your cup and does not want to stop and think why all of these destructive and disruptive energies you question what is the worth of all of that and if life truly what is being delivered to you.
We stand our ground when we are rejected over and over and the cycle does not want to end. Wondering why the world is looking for deficit, lack, shortage and never been enough. In a world that is looking for stains to cover you with, to fill you with shame, belittling and outcast, I wonder who wants to live in a minute in a world like that. Oh! my God, each soul is carrying a heavy burden of shaming others, bullying, disrespect, humiliation, and unrested angry souls. Looking for conflicts each minute of the day.Oh! Jesus, I am sure that is not from you, the world absorbed the souls that it is hard to come to the core of our foundation THE ONE AND ONLY GOD. God, it is not about you, nope.
We survive in a world that is based on pragmatism. If you do so and so for me, I will do so and so in return till the business is done and then walk in the world like strangers. I got lost between what really true means? Or how you build your life upon. For me, I took Jesus literally. I don't mix the flesh with the spirit. Or by means I am a human as Jesus came to be tested, I am exposed for that too. One day I said and promised God I am your servant, now it reflects how hard it is. I am sliced every single day with judgment either physical or mentally. When you see every soul as God's given gift and understand when you are appreciating this gift that honors God and makes Him pleased with your perspective. It sounds like I am in my la La land and that is not how the world is functioning.
We come back to the vicious cycle that does not want to end, as what you can offer is not accepted, it is being judged to the deepest point. Seeking kindness, compassion and transparency are words in the books or commercials only. As they are tools to be used for particular targets that will serve the world agenda and scenarios. Forgive lord I am seeking hope in all things to understand, to reach a solid ground, not a shaken one. I am trying my best to understand why all such hate toward a person like me? Searching for the truth, all I sow is coming back to me in lashes, no mercy. I wonder why we choose to load our hearts with such humongous hate, prejudice, and racism when we are having the free will to choose to walk in God's acceptance for all of us all. LORD my soul is weary life is short and lots of things are happening all around us, why still we choose to hate? unanswered question till Jesus comes back again and each one of us run their own race. Jesus walk me through this I am weary It is hard to believe is such world we live in,by: ME The Old Ancient WOman"
Saturday, December 1, 2018
Rail Stop
Yes, sometimes we come to this point when we keep on hearing the tinkling go on and on, and here you are wondering should I put a step forward and move? Or, stop and keep this sound getting into my hear. Patterns of trapping my soul are keeping happening as if the tinkling sound is not happy with my movements in life. Being willing to see and understand the big picture and not being a prisoner of life anymore. How many of us questioned the meaning of their lives? And how many gave authorities to the outside to control the way you see yourself and the way you see the world around you? Unanswered questions as you are not counted as a human. You are not invited to real life. Delivering untrue picture about reality, causing that confusion and isolation far away from reality. How many of us witnessed how much have been wasted in the wrong places and not the right group. The more you are trying to scratch your way even with your difficulty of breath, here small windows are trying to show you what real life means.
Do not be sad or frustrated as situations reflect the true human nature we are surrounded with. Do you say I love you, I did not get it as your actions completely are saying something else. A stab at the back, holding me back to understand and learn what true life means. Life taught me hard lessons, not everything is being said is real or the full truth. We live in a very twisted world. Multi-layered of complexity. No one can deny that. If you would like to see the crust, you will not feel the suffering really well. I wish I have that sense of understanding the crust of life only. That would have saved me lots of troubles I had and still facing till the recent moment. I have never been satisfied with the crust. My hunger for learning and understanding put me in a real trail and my life on edge most of the time. No rest yet it became a source of discomfort for those who around me. What is seen is not the reality. There is a big scenario behind the scene.
No deny of the existence of the coalition within groups of societies, and the more the common interest has multiple elements, the more the success of coalition is . We are in a culture where individual stand out , not on the list. As it said if you don't have a specific group to be identified with, the community won't be able to admit your presence within life as you do not match the norm and can not be controlled or being used till the last drop of your life. No identity, no presence, using the the strong power of coalition impact, to silence any effort your trying to make, silencing your presence, silencing your existing, keeping track of your faults, waiting the chance for any fault you do and catch it, and bring this disappointment over and over on the table ,the discouragement card ,the success card. The key to bring you back to the point zero, the railstop and that tinkling sound to resay quit, run away, you are not wanted here, you do not belong here, waiting and waiting and the sound does not want to stop, closing all gates that may exist so your breath wil become more and more short, no strength, no life no existence and farewell.
Wait a minute is this God's plan or your worldly plan that is being used over the centuries to feel the power and sovereignty over certain race or particular mindset. I admit my mindset is not easy to deal with as my deal is with God who made me the way I am amd the way He meant for me to be. Wow How many times God said the final word. I am saying said as in my deep bottom of the heart He already did it and it is all about me to be willing to say Yes LORD with no speck of doubt I am yours. My joy comes from you. My joy rest in you. Over and over, the world is crushing me down and YOU LORD Alone reshaping me, recreating me within to say LORD Yes, Iam all yours. My cry out to you to bring the right people into my life , I totally believe LORD You created me for so much more than what the world keeping putting on my shoulders . It is hard for me to count the stones, I collect them to build my mountain that I will climb and see you face to face. Yes,LORD Iam Yours, Walking with you, gives me assurance that Your power is higher than anyother worldly power.
LORD lead me guide me , I have no clue which path I have to go, lots in my mind . By ME" The Old Ancient Woman "
Do not be sad or frustrated as situations reflect the true human nature we are surrounded with. Do you say I love you, I did not get it as your actions completely are saying something else. A stab at the back, holding me back to understand and learn what true life means. Life taught me hard lessons, not everything is being said is real or the full truth. We live in a very twisted world. Multi-layered of complexity. No one can deny that. If you would like to see the crust, you will not feel the suffering really well. I wish I have that sense of understanding the crust of life only. That would have saved me lots of troubles I had and still facing till the recent moment. I have never been satisfied with the crust. My hunger for learning and understanding put me in a real trail and my life on edge most of the time. No rest yet it became a source of discomfort for those who around me. What is seen is not the reality. There is a big scenario behind the scene.
No deny of the existence of the coalition within groups of societies, and the more the common interest has multiple elements, the more the success of coalition is . We are in a culture where individual stand out , not on the list. As it said if you don't have a specific group to be identified with, the community won't be able to admit your presence within life as you do not match the norm and can not be controlled or being used till the last drop of your life. No identity, no presence, using the the strong power of coalition impact, to silence any effort your trying to make, silencing your presence, silencing your existing, keeping track of your faults, waiting the chance for any fault you do and catch it, and bring this disappointment over and over on the table ,the discouragement card ,the success card. The key to bring you back to the point zero, the railstop and that tinkling sound to resay quit, run away, you are not wanted here, you do not belong here, waiting and waiting and the sound does not want to stop, closing all gates that may exist so your breath wil become more and more short, no strength, no life no existence and farewell.
Wait a minute is this God's plan or your worldly plan that is being used over the centuries to feel the power and sovereignty over certain race or particular mindset. I admit my mindset is not easy to deal with as my deal is with God who made me the way I am amd the way He meant for me to be. Wow How many times God said the final word. I am saying said as in my deep bottom of the heart He already did it and it is all about me to be willing to say Yes LORD with no speck of doubt I am yours. My joy comes from you. My joy rest in you. Over and over, the world is crushing me down and YOU LORD Alone reshaping me, recreating me within to say LORD Yes, Iam all yours. My cry out to you to bring the right people into my life , I totally believe LORD You created me for so much more than what the world keeping putting on my shoulders . It is hard for me to count the stones, I collect them to build my mountain that I will climb and see you face to face. Yes,LORD Iam Yours, Walking with you, gives me assurance that Your power is higher than anyother worldly power.
LORD lead me guide me , I have no clue which path I have to go, lots in my mind . By ME" The Old Ancient Woman "
Sunday, November 18, 2018
Within The Mystery Of Life
Almost 2018 is going to say goodbye. How fast days, years pass. With each day, you pass through a piece of life mystery. We are running millions of races and no stop to breathe and ask ourselves," What all this about? and Where am I going? and Can I see the road so clear or still is a mysterious loop? Anyway the harder the race, the more images it can reflect on the character you see. Mostly, you will be surprised at how different we are. Many elements shape this among them: Culture, gender, color, race, religion, lifestyle, socioeconomic, health, disposition and above all mindset. Most of these elements are mentioned in the Bill of right that we are equal. My greatest apology this is a script, not alife. Like an article in the newspapers, you have the choice to read it or not or take a fast peek and move on.
What makes this combination or formula of reaction reflect the true life, that we are humans, we are living things, not robots. Our mindset controls every aspect that we deal with or control. So, if my mindset is established on not considering certain race equal to my level, here we go, no matter what person is doing, All my decisions will be based on my beforehand mindset. And this mindset I will pass it to my children and everyone in my circle of control. So, this way we duplicate the patterns that move from one generation or another. Here young ones became a reflection of what we passed to them.
Sometimes it is really hard to pass the good values to the young generation as it opposes the principle of the fixed mindset. So why we ask ourselves, what is going on here? Or I can not believe this is happening. Or I am shocked, cannot take it anymore. We are going in a cycle of inner destruction. Destruction of the values that respect and honor any human. Teaching young people to respect and honor everything in life that will switch the fixed mindset into a whole new different version of a growth mindset.
It all starts with the adult modeling values to the young ones who have a limited view of the world. They are not able to see above their feet according to their height. There is no mystery. We are what we see, say and do. Yet it is a hard equation to be applied or taken as an example of life. No matter what we do still our biases control everything, every idea, action, choices, decisions, even what I wear, eat, drink, live or who is invited within my circle and who is not. Always modeling reflect the true picture of what is in the heart and here it is passed to the young generation even without direct instructions. No mystery, it is the choice, our choice what do we want to pass to our children. So,what is your choice? By:ME" The Old Ancient Woman"
Sunday, November 4, 2018
The Silent Killer
We all go through life with hopes and dreams. Like many others one day you dreamed the big dreams. You thought that you are the beautiful image of God. Looking at His indescribable creation that surprises you every single moment of your life, a breathtaking of His awesome beauty. Telling yourself, yes lord my inner beauty comes from you. I feel it each day you give to me. Yes, Lord, my simple principle of life goes back to my understanding from the deep bottom that you are the owner of everything. Yet, God, you created this dream of my heart that you made me the way I am for a reason. Yet, the actual world is ready with its surprises as well. From the perspective of a human made by God, full of life, using each strength you created lord in me to do as much as I could. I only look at you, you are my father, master, and guidance. You revealed yourself to me since I was little, You brought me from death multiple times as if my life is always about facing the shadows of death and here over and over, picking me up and bringing me back. Something within me desire to live, to be normal one day. To experience a regular day like any normal person.
With each surprise and challenge threw into my way from the world, it brings me back to the spot of weakness, sickness and crippled, unable to recover easily without that pain that keeps sneaking into my life, body, and soul. A question lord, one day I was full of life and health, everyone envied me for being who I was at that time. Now Lord, what is the message you are trying to tell me? And why am I experiencing all this? Questioning love does not mean harm or hurt. Or Is this the silent killer. Creeping into your day with a mask of love and it is not what it looks physically. Questioning what all this about. Living a normal life seems like a far-fetched dream to come true. With each step Ia trying to overcome such creeping pain, it comes back over and over. Even I try to avoid all its triggers, it surprises me in moments that I do pray to you Lord," will I be able to be normal "
Looking at people from afar, walking with the belief, this is your life, sick person and most of the time in bed, trying to help yourself with homemade remedies to lessen the pain which is not obvious to others. Everything is internal.As I look from the outside that I got it all together, I look stubborn and many times dummy as I do not listen to the many voices that try to pull me in so many directions. Crying from the inside, saying Stop ,You do not see my pain, you do not understand it or feel it or even helping me to understand it, so please leave me alone to hear and listen the voice of God, to understand, to have peace that the battle is not mine, it is the lord, He is in control . I am done with all the judgments and all the opinions that are trying to dissect me as if I am a rat lab, each has their own perspective on what they want to believe about me, not who I really I am. As I reached my 46 years old, I say it aloud enough is enough, God you are in control By" ME, the old ancient woman"
With each surprise and challenge threw into my way from the world, it brings me back to the spot of weakness, sickness and crippled, unable to recover easily without that pain that keeps sneaking into my life, body, and soul. A question lord, one day I was full of life and health, everyone envied me for being who I was at that time. Now Lord, what is the message you are trying to tell me? And why am I experiencing all this? Questioning love does not mean harm or hurt. Or Is this the silent killer. Creeping into your day with a mask of love and it is not what it looks physically. Questioning what all this about. Living a normal life seems like a far-fetched dream to come true. With each step Ia trying to overcome such creeping pain, it comes back over and over. Even I try to avoid all its triggers, it surprises me in moments that I do pray to you Lord," will I be able to be normal "
Looking at people from afar, walking with the belief, this is your life, sick person and most of the time in bed, trying to help yourself with homemade remedies to lessen the pain which is not obvious to others. Everything is internal.As I look from the outside that I got it all together, I look stubborn and many times dummy as I do not listen to the many voices that try to pull me in so many directions. Crying from the inside, saying Stop ,You do not see my pain, you do not understand it or feel it or even helping me to understand it, so please leave me alone to hear and listen the voice of God, to understand, to have peace that the battle is not mine, it is the lord, He is in control . I am done with all the judgments and all the opinions that are trying to dissect me as if I am a rat lab, each has their own perspective on what they want to believe about me, not who I really I am. As I reached my 46 years old, I say it aloud enough is enough, God you are in control By" ME, the old ancient woman"
Friday, October 19, 2018
Multilayered World
Call me a dreamer, my head is in the cloud, not living the reality----etc. Yet, what my eyes see breaks through what is regularly seen by the naked eyes. What I see break through what is being said or seem true. So, I am reading unseen messages through my day. I can't say each message or explain to them when it is hard to be believed. Traveling within the souls and spirits around. We are not flesh in a human body, we are spirits. And what your spirit energy bring to the place, tells more than you can imagine, more than what you say or trying to say. When promises are broken, when we fluctuate in making our message straight or consider all the aspects may interfere with what we experience.
It is a complex world with what we were used to doing, gained through our communities, groups, faith and the true journey of your life. All form a completely different perspective each time you are faced with a change. keeping repeating a cycle, mostly occur when you do not learn what the situation wanted you to learn. So, the universe takes you in a journey of the unknown and exposes you to things you haven't see or heard before. With each step of the journey, you have a package of the question and a search for the truth. Unsettled spirit, unsettled soul. Through the struggles, through the pain, questioning what all this about.
A tiring Soul, a tiring spirit within the multilayered world of untruth ByME" The old ancient woman"
It is a complex world with what we were used to doing, gained through our communities, groups, faith and the true journey of your life. All form a completely different perspective each time you are faced with a change. keeping repeating a cycle, mostly occur when you do not learn what the situation wanted you to learn. So, the universe takes you in a journey of the unknown and exposes you to things you haven't see or heard before. With each step of the journey, you have a package of the question and a search for the truth. Unsettled spirit, unsettled soul. Through the struggles, through the pain, questioning what all this about.
A tiring Soul, a tiring spirit within the multilayered world of untruth ByME" The old ancient woman"
Wednesday, August 29, 2018
Wednesday, August 8, 2018
Bottom Line
Walking with a package that is collected through the years, is not the right choice a person can make to have a true meaningful life. It is not a nice feeling, a person would love to experience each single day. It tears you down internally that day by day ,it takes you away from being in touch with reality. Your mind is in cycle, trying to repeat the same same old patterns and that brings you down into tears. Your life has been robbed away and you are walking like a shadow on the earth, can not be touched, can not be seen.
And here there are moments that hit you so hard. Trying to walk you up , letting you to pay attention to how awful your life is turned out. You are in shock ,you are in denial. Your ego is trying to say a big no, this is not me. So true ,as your choices to load more and more packages on your shoulders wherever you go, that what made the person you are in shock to face right now. It is a very truthful moment and here how willing you are able to receive it, that what will determine your next step. It is a moment like facing death, even it is a reality , many try to deny it. It is that moment that you lose yourself in trying to replay the scenario and how you got there. What makes you in acceptance in what you see. It is the moment that you realize how deep was and is your wounds that you permit yourself to soak in your bleeding and no response. There was no action on your side to heal or stop your bleeding. You allowed it to flow as in deep down yourself, you are refusing to live, you are happy to go in your coma ,even there were many voices that are trying to keep you alive. I do not know how to describe it more than you are willing to say goodbye and give up with no regret. As living in such deep pain ,no one like it. Thinking that when we say goodbye is the norm. You do not feel anything around. Yet, God is keeping you alive and does not want you to go. So weird ,isn't it?
Each day your questions never stop, why God? And what is all this about. I do not understand. Iam truly do not feel alive, my breath does not come easily. Iam falling down deeply with no resistance and a silent voice. And here again ,another awakening moment, more voices are trying to keep you alive and turning your attention to His presence. Your questions go deeper and deeper and no end. More choices to make to hold onto pain and never let go. This is me, and this is where I go every single time, the darkness is trying to pull you more to her side. You sense that you support her in her desire. No hope or no other way, this is your life and that is how, I collect more and more packages through the way and refusing to let them down. Long time and long way ,carrying these packages with all the bleeding and the scars within and outside. How hurtful is that? To be in a place of martyrdom not alive. It is said that we Middle Eastern by nature are destined to be emotional and controlled by their emotions more than many races as we see through humans and how they look like. We see the heart and mind working together and what is beyond that. Being unable to express your voice or even what does it mean to have a voice. A voice that will give you the power of choice and to express these choices.. And if anyone understand that about you, it will become the norm that along the way ,you are not allowed to express your voice and choice.
So, it becomes culturally mindset interactions. According to where you came from and how the common lines how women are being treated and your status builds up the way how others will treat you and here comes the undeniable point. That if you did not have a voice, why are you thinking to have one now and what do you know about it and who told you there could be a voice and a choice? so, When something different is created within you, here comes the power conflict. No subjectivity here. By means ,a common standards to deal with a person no according to how they were treated in the past and shapping a pattern of disrespect and discrimination against the person since you can not control him or her ,so God is not in that. It cross-cultural power conflict. The attempt to change the norm. The desire to establish a standard agreement. Iam not my past, Iam not my background, Iam not my race, Iam a creation of ONE GOD just like you. What is your dreams and desires that you are asking God for and if you have them, why you do not believe that others can have theirs to? And what is the point of shaming others of their past deliberately to keep them down.
It is this moment when you realize that there is no difference in human nature, no matter the language you speak, what you wear , where you live, how we think are so much alike. What serves our interests we go for it. And here power conflict never end. To live and let me live is an idealistic standard , hard to be reached. The norm is not changing from place to place. You find yourself chained in the same old patterns of the common understanding about how culturally a person is being dealt with. Human Rights come to be a job not a true call, Justice in question as how the society is trying to frame your life ,is something stronger than you own limited power. Your eyes and mind are trying to find clues and go back to yourself and address how you come to this point and how you allowed yourself to be there. It is you in the bottom line. Choosing to surrender to your coma and no choice to resist. And when resistance come to your mind, everyone is in a shock, what? Are you crazy? who give you the right to resist. You feel the pain more deep within like a sword breaking through you and you still alive. Oh! Jesus. I imagine myself , standing among the crowd, saying no, I want that voice, I am proud of my choice. To stand for who Iam, not what you want me to be, submissive and voiceless. He wants me alive for a reason , not invisible, not an open ground for disrespect and alienation. Let's be honest, what all this about and calm down this meaningless conflicts within first and go straight forward to the mission to build something here on earth . Life is not a job or a promotion that many no last for long. Life is a mission of good works and giving Him all glory for what He has put within you . I may let you to put me down all the way, yet, you did not do God's will in respecting each human as a creation in God's image. Imagine that we honor every soul in honor to God, do you think we still can find hurt and pain on earth?
It is all come back to you , what do you allow into your life .And how you give honor to God in each choice you make. All the bleeding and the scars, you allowed them ,so if you have the power to allow the bad into your life, why not choosing to give it a chance for the good to come. Allow yourself to resist the patterns of the past to determine you present. It is the inner power to choose honoring God in each step you take, I may look bad in your eyes, yet, I am following the voice from above, that is telling me I want you alive as you belong to me and I made you this way. An opening conversation with The Mighty ONE who is asking me to follow His voice and it is scary as you do not understand what does it mean. For tens of times He is asking me to trust in Him ,even I do not understand. Say sorry to yourself and the person you are facing now. Telling her Iam so sorry that I let you go through all of this. Forgive me and let us start over again with consciousness that God is there. With His endless merciful loving heart is carrying you through. To reconcile with yourself ,this where you have to start, healing starts within you taking the first step and to love the person you are right now, no matter what. The beating voices will never stop putting you down, it is all go back to you if you are going to keep inviting them back in,or say sorry I have someone to take care of that is me ,the one God made just as He made you too. With a smile on your face, say Hello to the new you within.BY: ME" The Old Ancient Woman"
And here there are moments that hit you so hard. Trying to walk you up , letting you to pay attention to how awful your life is turned out. You are in shock ,you are in denial. Your ego is trying to say a big no, this is not me. So true ,as your choices to load more and more packages on your shoulders wherever you go, that what made the person you are in shock to face right now. It is a very truthful moment and here how willing you are able to receive it, that what will determine your next step. It is a moment like facing death, even it is a reality , many try to deny it. It is that moment that you lose yourself in trying to replay the scenario and how you got there. What makes you in acceptance in what you see. It is the moment that you realize how deep was and is your wounds that you permit yourself to soak in your bleeding and no response. There was no action on your side to heal or stop your bleeding. You allowed it to flow as in deep down yourself, you are refusing to live, you are happy to go in your coma ,even there were many voices that are trying to keep you alive. I do not know how to describe it more than you are willing to say goodbye and give up with no regret. As living in such deep pain ,no one like it. Thinking that when we say goodbye is the norm. You do not feel anything around. Yet, God is keeping you alive and does not want you to go. So weird ,isn't it?
Each day your questions never stop, why God? And what is all this about. I do not understand. Iam truly do not feel alive, my breath does not come easily. Iam falling down deeply with no resistance and a silent voice. And here again ,another awakening moment, more voices are trying to keep you alive and turning your attention to His presence. Your questions go deeper and deeper and no end. More choices to make to hold onto pain and never let go. This is me, and this is where I go every single time, the darkness is trying to pull you more to her side. You sense that you support her in her desire. No hope or no other way, this is your life and that is how, I collect more and more packages through the way and refusing to let them down. Long time and long way ,carrying these packages with all the bleeding and the scars within and outside. How hurtful is that? To be in a place of martyrdom not alive. It is said that we Middle Eastern by nature are destined to be emotional and controlled by their emotions more than many races as we see through humans and how they look like. We see the heart and mind working together and what is beyond that. Being unable to express your voice or even what does it mean to have a voice. A voice that will give you the power of choice and to express these choices.. And if anyone understand that about you, it will become the norm that along the way ,you are not allowed to express your voice and choice.
So, it becomes culturally mindset interactions. According to where you came from and how the common lines how women are being treated and your status builds up the way how others will treat you and here comes the undeniable point. That if you did not have a voice, why are you thinking to have one now and what do you know about it and who told you there could be a voice and a choice? so, When something different is created within you, here comes the power conflict. No subjectivity here. By means ,a common standards to deal with a person no according to how they were treated in the past and shapping a pattern of disrespect and discrimination against the person since you can not control him or her ,so God is not in that. It cross-cultural power conflict. The attempt to change the norm. The desire to establish a standard agreement. Iam not my past, Iam not my background, Iam not my race, Iam a creation of ONE GOD just like you. What is your dreams and desires that you are asking God for and if you have them, why you do not believe that others can have theirs to? And what is the point of shaming others of their past deliberately to keep them down.
It is this moment when you realize that there is no difference in human nature, no matter the language you speak, what you wear , where you live, how we think are so much alike. What serves our interests we go for it. And here power conflict never end. To live and let me live is an idealistic standard , hard to be reached. The norm is not changing from place to place. You find yourself chained in the same old patterns of the common understanding about how culturally a person is being dealt with. Human Rights come to be a job not a true call, Justice in question as how the society is trying to frame your life ,is something stronger than you own limited power. Your eyes and mind are trying to find clues and go back to yourself and address how you come to this point and how you allowed yourself to be there. It is you in the bottom line. Choosing to surrender to your coma and no choice to resist. And when resistance come to your mind, everyone is in a shock, what? Are you crazy? who give you the right to resist. You feel the pain more deep within like a sword breaking through you and you still alive. Oh! Jesus. I imagine myself , standing among the crowd, saying no, I want that voice, I am proud of my choice. To stand for who Iam, not what you want me to be, submissive and voiceless. He wants me alive for a reason , not invisible, not an open ground for disrespect and alienation. Let's be honest, what all this about and calm down this meaningless conflicts within first and go straight forward to the mission to build something here on earth . Life is not a job or a promotion that many no last for long. Life is a mission of good works and giving Him all glory for what He has put within you . I may let you to put me down all the way, yet, you did not do God's will in respecting each human as a creation in God's image. Imagine that we honor every soul in honor to God, do you think we still can find hurt and pain on earth?
It is all come back to you , what do you allow into your life .And how you give honor to God in each choice you make. All the bleeding and the scars, you allowed them ,so if you have the power to allow the bad into your life, why not choosing to give it a chance for the good to come. Allow yourself to resist the patterns of the past to determine you present. It is the inner power to choose honoring God in each step you take, I may look bad in your eyes, yet, I am following the voice from above, that is telling me I want you alive as you belong to me and I made you this way. An opening conversation with The Mighty ONE who is asking me to follow His voice and it is scary as you do not understand what does it mean. For tens of times He is asking me to trust in Him ,even I do not understand. Say sorry to yourself and the person you are facing now. Telling her Iam so sorry that I let you go through all of this. Forgive me and let us start over again with consciousness that God is there. With His endless merciful loving heart is carrying you through. To reconcile with yourself ,this where you have to start, healing starts within you taking the first step and to love the person you are right now, no matter what. The beating voices will never stop putting you down, it is all go back to you if you are going to keep inviting them back in,or say sorry I have someone to take care of that is me ,the one God made just as He made you too. With a smile on your face, say Hello to the new you within.BY: ME" The Old Ancient Woman"
Saturday, June 9, 2018
Seeing The World From A different Lense
It is a big sigh and aha moment when you realize for %100 that you are the cause of all this chaos around you. For so many reasons and I have to admit it. Once I had a very fancy protected life. Everything is paved so I used to live my day like la la land. My heart is still like a child, has no feelings of envy, covet or jealousy towards anyone. When you live a life that you have more than you need, you grow differently,all you desire that others feel the beauty of the universe around them. Yes, i grew up with a dreamer heart and my world is my mind and heart. I used to see the world from a different lens. Many told me that I have a big heart, Iam extremely generous and each time i could understand what they mean. Year after year, I couldn't exactly understand what do they mean by this. Living my day, asking one question ,lord what do you want me to do with my day today. It is the priceless gift that is freely given to us. This breath that holding us together and allow us to do wonders. It is a portion of God's breath. How wonderful and powerful is that. I am carrying a portion of God's own existence. My heart is beating His voice of His unconditional love to us.
Many told me that my smile that is God's gift for me as well. Which I couldn't understand as well. So many things others see in me and I couldn't see them. For my, What you do and create that what present you to the world and give meaning to life. And Here came the unexplained battle into my own life.That projected itself year after year and each year I come to understand a piece of it. When you come to know that with your natural you, I gave the opportunity to be controlled. I came to realize that I am being dealt with as personal property. Who can control my steps is the owner of me. That was a shocking fact to receive and comprehend. When you do not own your life, choices and decisions, here you invite certain energies especially manipulative one to shape your day and which way your life has to go. All of that is not in God's will for us as His sons and daughters. Having a broken heart and alienating myself was one of the options for so many years. How this makes you feel when your eyes is open to these realities. Realizing that you lived and live an illusion life,and what you became is not the true you. You gave authority to all of that to happen to you. Giving the world authority to frame and control your life and not be free or practicing the free will right that is given to us from above and here you go , your identity has been robbed and your live is not true.
It is hard to spend most of your life fighting powers are farther stronger than you. Facing giants means ,giving your life to the ultimate risk of losing it. Asking yourself the question,' What is all this about/? and why me ?' Most of the time the answers are so complicated even they are so clear. Is this your destiny or it is you who allowed all this to happen and living such kind of life on the edge of falling apart each time, losing everything, three accidents on the third year on the row, repeated patterns of manipulation and untold truth. Walking in the maze of no exit. No strength left to fight back as Iam so tired of all this nonsense. Yes, so true. Being open to the world brings nothing but more break down and bringing me back to square one, no matter what I do.
It is time to see the world from a different lens. Pray, Pray Pray ,LORD I am Yours, allow me to walk in the right path. Iam tired ,iam consumed, I want to be me not what the world is say I am. Allow me to be born again and take shelter in your grace, and walk away of anything that does not reflect your truth and show me who is true and who is not. Iam walking in a path that is filled with thrones and my whole body is bleeding looking for hope of mercy and truth in all of this. By: Me" The Old Ancient Woman"
Many told me that my smile that is God's gift for me as well. Which I couldn't understand as well. So many things others see in me and I couldn't see them. For my, What you do and create that what present you to the world and give meaning to life. And Here came the unexplained battle into my own life.That projected itself year after year and each year I come to understand a piece of it. When you come to know that with your natural you, I gave the opportunity to be controlled. I came to realize that I am being dealt with as personal property. Who can control my steps is the owner of me. That was a shocking fact to receive and comprehend. When you do not own your life, choices and decisions, here you invite certain energies especially manipulative one to shape your day and which way your life has to go. All of that is not in God's will for us as His sons and daughters. Having a broken heart and alienating myself was one of the options for so many years. How this makes you feel when your eyes is open to these realities. Realizing that you lived and live an illusion life,and what you became is not the true you. You gave authority to all of that to happen to you. Giving the world authority to frame and control your life and not be free or practicing the free will right that is given to us from above and here you go , your identity has been robbed and your live is not true.
It is hard to spend most of your life fighting powers are farther stronger than you. Facing giants means ,giving your life to the ultimate risk of losing it. Asking yourself the question,' What is all this about/? and why me ?' Most of the time the answers are so complicated even they are so clear. Is this your destiny or it is you who allowed all this to happen and living such kind of life on the edge of falling apart each time, losing everything, three accidents on the third year on the row, repeated patterns of manipulation and untold truth. Walking in the maze of no exit. No strength left to fight back as Iam so tired of all this nonsense. Yes, so true. Being open to the world brings nothing but more break down and bringing me back to square one, no matter what I do.
It is time to see the world from a different lens. Pray, Pray Pray ,LORD I am Yours, allow me to walk in the right path. Iam tired ,iam consumed, I want to be me not what the world is say I am. Allow me to be born again and take shelter in your grace, and walk away of anything that does not reflect your truth and show me who is true and who is not. Iam walking in a path that is filled with thrones and my whole body is bleeding looking for hope of mercy and truth in all of this. By: Me" The Old Ancient Woman"
Monday, May 28, 2018
Tangled In The Land Of The Unknown
long time since I posted my thoughts in this place. A place that I created to shape many define moments in my journey of the unknown. You hear the heart beat is getting faster and your steps are shaking. Why am I here and what am I doing? Wasted years ,time and life. Your confidence has been robbed brutally,right.t now.,you are weary, tired and done that what defines you right now. Waking up after the turmoil, not knowing where you are and why are you here? how could you allow all of this to happen to your life? Truly, nothing is real. Am I living in a big lie or am I being misused? That is a terrible spot to find yourself in and you have to take responsibility in all of this as the storm was so clear,many ran away from it. And you told yourself ,I am not going to run away, I accept the challenge. Again the Utopian mindset that I dream of, does not exist by all means. There are factors and these factors are the ones that determine the course of events.
As a refugee one day, as a stranger, divorced, outcast and in a foreign land, each word of these sounds scary, yes, it is. In the big ship of life ,you will be sliced, your ignorance is the factor how thin you are going to be sliced. That's true, at the time of being sliced,you are going in stages of confusion and chaos, so you won't feel the pain right away, your pain will haunt you when you are by yourself. And here you shame yourself more and more that you allowed such pain to happen, nothing can be traced and if you choose to express your words another action will hit you in the face. so, day after day,year after year, you come to know the patterns and find yourself in the same circle over and over. Asking yourself is there an upper hand moving your life in this devastating type of life, emotional and mental turmoil ? if so why? what are the motives and what wrong you have done to them? Is this because of your race,color, background,ethnicity or there is another motives that are far beyond your thinking. Again shame on me to allow myself going in such vicious cycle over and over. Yes ,you have to shame yourself, you have to look directly to yourself and take responsibility of allowing pain to be your life.
For years of my isolation, nothing is getting better, things after one another keeping happening. I am a good catch for anyone wants to move ahead and fulfilling their agendas to be in the spot of light. I discovered that I am good at pushing others forward while I am in the shadow invisible, through using my ideas, insights and simple conversations, since when I offer my advice,I speak from the heart,loving to see a better world can be taking advantage of, and no matter what you do,here your spot of pain keep repeating itself. Being nobody, have nobody next me and at the end if something happened to me who cares? Washing away all these devastating agendas require a deep strong believe in yourself. And When your self confidence and self esteem have been robbed brutally , healing may take a long life journey. When you are tangled in the land of the unknown, only the grace of God can carry you through this deep dark pitch of turmoils. Yes, it is hard to believe again, it is hard to trust or even feel there is hope. Or you may see the light at the end of the tunnel. Watching many come and go in my life ,I feel more isolated, losing the sense of being alive. Still I go to work, do whatever I can to help. Still pushing myself to meet with friends to know what is latest in my life and iam doing right now. Still pushing myself to hear from God as I am getting more and more weary. I truly don't believe that someone will sacrifice their time and life to walk with me this dark tunnel so I have to push myself each single day to keep moving in life.
True life is different from what I live right now. I know what does it mean to be authentic, Through hurt, pain and struggle , you come to know the patterns and see clearly what is true and what is not. Living like a shadow for years , brings you to a more deeper insightful journey with the unknown. by:ME" The Old Ancient Woman"
As a refugee one day, as a stranger, divorced, outcast and in a foreign land, each word of these sounds scary, yes, it is. In the big ship of life ,you will be sliced, your ignorance is the factor how thin you are going to be sliced. That's true, at the time of being sliced,you are going in stages of confusion and chaos, so you won't feel the pain right away, your pain will haunt you when you are by yourself. And here you shame yourself more and more that you allowed such pain to happen, nothing can be traced and if you choose to express your words another action will hit you in the face. so, day after day,year after year, you come to know the patterns and find yourself in the same circle over and over. Asking yourself is there an upper hand moving your life in this devastating type of life, emotional and mental turmoil ? if so why? what are the motives and what wrong you have done to them? Is this because of your race,color, background,ethnicity or there is another motives that are far beyond your thinking. Again shame on me to allow myself going in such vicious cycle over and over. Yes ,you have to shame yourself, you have to look directly to yourself and take responsibility of allowing pain to be your life.
For years of my isolation, nothing is getting better, things after one another keeping happening. I am a good catch for anyone wants to move ahead and fulfilling their agendas to be in the spot of light. I discovered that I am good at pushing others forward while I am in the shadow invisible, through using my ideas, insights and simple conversations, since when I offer my advice,I speak from the heart,loving to see a better world can be taking advantage of, and no matter what you do,here your spot of pain keep repeating itself. Being nobody, have nobody next me and at the end if something happened to me who cares? Washing away all these devastating agendas require a deep strong believe in yourself. And When your self confidence and self esteem have been robbed brutally , healing may take a long life journey. When you are tangled in the land of the unknown, only the grace of God can carry you through this deep dark pitch of turmoils. Yes, it is hard to believe again, it is hard to trust or even feel there is hope. Or you may see the light at the end of the tunnel. Watching many come and go in my life ,I feel more isolated, losing the sense of being alive. Still I go to work, do whatever I can to help. Still pushing myself to meet with friends to know what is latest in my life and iam doing right now. Still pushing myself to hear from God as I am getting more and more weary. I truly don't believe that someone will sacrifice their time and life to walk with me this dark tunnel so I have to push myself each single day to keep moving in life.
True life is different from what I live right now. I know what does it mean to be authentic, Through hurt, pain and struggle , you come to know the patterns and see clearly what is true and what is not. Living like a shadow for years , brings you to a more deeper insightful journey with the unknown. by:ME" The Old Ancient Woman"
Saturday, April 14, 2018
Mental Wars
The hardest and toughest ones a person can deal with or experience. It is weird and reasons are not unfolded. May be, you are the wrong person in the wrong places. May be, you are the huge problem for someone else. May be, you are an obstacle in the way of others. Lots of thoughts come your way. may be, this is the cold way of a human assassin, to bring their mentality to the point that they end their lives by their own hand and shifting all the blame over them. Maybe, again you are a lab rat all what is needed is your body for further medical research and you have no price. Dark spots come your way. Even you seek the simplest ways of life.Mental wars never end. It is a very dark spot to find yourself in. Where is the truth? it is hard to find or understand. How much you can endure? No answer , yet. Witnessing how such mental wars affect your day performance, and shaping blocking spots and you can not see before you even ,your eyes are open. Mental wars cripple your steps through the day. It is a very unclear motives mental war. What drives them and why are you persisting to exist in the same places that do not add to your well being? Instead, draining you spiritually, mentally and then your body declares its cries through unexplained pains. No doubt when it is known that you were being abused , this will be the success tools to be used over and over to rip you out of the last ray of your beingness as human. It is really hard when you can not understand why all this chaos around your life? Sure, sometimes speaking hurt more than benefit. Speaking leads to more and more misunderstanding and layering up the summit of more chaos and complex pain. Mental pressure rips you off what really matters, hold you back from moving forward, keep you in the same spot that you are revolving around for years, trapped circle of keeping you as you are, no change, you try all ways you think about, you face nothing and more damage is being done more than before.
The situation is so complex. What true human freedom means, it now in the place of questioning. Yes, Mental and emotional misuse is hard to prove. it is hard to be detected as there is tactics and strategies are being tested over the time to be used but failure, reach a certain motive within the human life. Are we worthy of life? Are we worthy of being humans? Will our respect be considered not being misused? A single voice may lose its power within the force of groups. A single voice may bring back more crushing to the soul. A single voice is weak and not fully supported. Within a culture looking for more norms and certain patterns to follow through the day, being so much individualistic in your mind set may cause you harm more than it can be a positive force for your existence on the earth.
Embracing the uniqueness of individualistic mindset as we were created by The Mighty ONE , no one is made fully completely the same, so facing your differential presence within the community you are within ,won't be welcomed , on the other side if you are introduced within a certain group and fixed affiliation to a certain believes, motives or structure. Through the history , we have witnessed how much being individualistic mindset, can put you on the front line of endless and continuous conflict and minor wars and by the end the accusation fingers will be always point back to you. You are the problem, you are the wrong, you are not normal ,you are not supposed to be here. The pattern is being repeated over and over with no certain clue for what is all this about.
Nothing make sense, nothing is driving you to full healing and well being as a human being. It drives to the pointless picture of wasting human lives and souls. I have no explanation for all what is going on but, if you couldn't control someone, let them be their own destructive tool through these minor mental wars, they are like the air can not be seen ,yet its impact on your life is huge, you can not have life ,in the absence of the air. As well , you can not have life, if you are targeted with mental wars. And this reflect its picture in a form of sanctions, racism, bias,discrimination, fr-enemies " Those who pretend to be your friend and the hidden motive is to know everything about you, and know exactly how to put you in the same place of isolation and missing up your head." So true , in the new world, it is hard to know what is true and what is not. All you experience in your head is hitting the walls over and over, leads you to brain fog and unable to see clear image before you. Everything is mixed up, nothing in order or bring you peace, the more you are trying the more harder your life becomes and still the motives are not seen, maybe I have to pay a price for a certain race or background who persecuted Christians over the ages and this is the chance to take revenge, It is not a good spot to exist or a true life to be lived..... BY:" The Old Ancient Woman"
The situation is so complex. What true human freedom means, it now in the place of questioning. Yes, Mental and emotional misuse is hard to prove. it is hard to be detected as there is tactics and strategies are being tested over the time to be used but failure, reach a certain motive within the human life. Are we worthy of life? Are we worthy of being humans? Will our respect be considered not being misused? A single voice may lose its power within the force of groups. A single voice may bring back more crushing to the soul. A single voice is weak and not fully supported. Within a culture looking for more norms and certain patterns to follow through the day, being so much individualistic in your mind set may cause you harm more than it can be a positive force for your existence on the earth.
Embracing the uniqueness of individualistic mindset as we were created by The Mighty ONE , no one is made fully completely the same, so facing your differential presence within the community you are within ,won't be welcomed , on the other side if you are introduced within a certain group and fixed affiliation to a certain believes, motives or structure. Through the history , we have witnessed how much being individualistic mindset, can put you on the front line of endless and continuous conflict and minor wars and by the end the accusation fingers will be always point back to you. You are the problem, you are the wrong, you are not normal ,you are not supposed to be here. The pattern is being repeated over and over with no certain clue for what is all this about.
Nothing make sense, nothing is driving you to full healing and well being as a human being. It drives to the pointless picture of wasting human lives and souls. I have no explanation for all what is going on but, if you couldn't control someone, let them be their own destructive tool through these minor mental wars, they are like the air can not be seen ,yet its impact on your life is huge, you can not have life ,in the absence of the air. As well , you can not have life, if you are targeted with mental wars. And this reflect its picture in a form of sanctions, racism, bias,discrimination, fr-enemies " Those who pretend to be your friend and the hidden motive is to know everything about you, and know exactly how to put you in the same place of isolation and missing up your head." So true , in the new world, it is hard to know what is true and what is not. All you experience in your head is hitting the walls over and over, leads you to brain fog and unable to see clear image before you. Everything is mixed up, nothing in order or bring you peace, the more you are trying the more harder your life becomes and still the motives are not seen, maybe I have to pay a price for a certain race or background who persecuted Christians over the ages and this is the chance to take revenge, It is not a good spot to exist or a true life to be lived..... BY:" The Old Ancient Woman"
Saturday, March 24, 2018
Walking within the Shadows
Even it is not clear yet. Even it is hard to know. Even you feel deep down that something is not o.k. Even the truth is keeping running away from you. You sense it. You see it within your heart. Maybe, you can not put all the pieces together to make sense. Yet, nothing make sense. Will conflict and struggle be the norm of your life and why all this is happening and keeping repeating itself with different faces and names? The big question is: Is this what life mean? Is this the real world anyone can live? Or There is something deeper beyond your understanding? Anger ,spoken and unspoken words are controlling the day of the human being. Certain behavior patterns are continuously being projected through the day.
It becomes like a big package for someone to carry on daily basis. How many am I going to insult? How many am I going to demeaning? How many am I going to sabotage? How many am I going to control? How many am I going o deceit? How many am I going to use? How many am I going to manipulate? How many am I going to inbox? How many am I going to confuse? How many am I going to stab at the back? How many am I going to spoil their work day? How many am I going to let fail? How many am I going to label? How long am I going to spy on? How many am I going to gossip about? How many am I going to crush them under the bus? the list is so long to end. what kind of life is that ? Are you a human or appointed by the devil to rule over the earth?
The list never ends as each day ,each hour something will be added on. So hard to live a day like that. It is so hard to feel you have dignity and value on the earth. What am I made for? and why am I in this place? The world drives you to insanity that nothing around can make sense. When people focus on people , nothing will be build as it takes only one bad apple to spoil the whole harvest and nothing will make sense. It takes one word from the devil to turn life into hell. Closing the vision and building thick wall among you and the grace of God that is found all over around. Yet, your package blackened your eyesight that you ca not breath. Fear dwells in each corner of the place. Truth never been told, and when it reveals itself ,you only hate yourself as you never imagine how hard it feels and change you for ever, you will never be the same. Walking with a broken heart will be the norm and who cares. First Jesus died from a broken heart. He came with salvation and here the story is keeping repeating itself even after thousands of years after Jesus death. The roots of evil lies within the seed of sin that still dwell in our flesh. Rising above the flesh is hard to grasp or believed within the world that still controlled by tangible things, and sparkly world where it can take you? I can not tell.
Walking with a broken heart is the norm, who hears or feels the real pain within. How many broken hearts around? And who sees the cause that was built in through words, actions, attitudes and stories being told. How many anticipate in that global suicide of human souls? No wonder the evil on rise and no sound for those who walk with broken hearts to the unknown and not believing even in themselves. Allowing the world to crush our soul this means giving the right of God to the evil with no resistance or raising voice. We are surprised shockingly when something happen and end lives of hundred in many different ways, forgetting the part we play to fill this evil action with loads and loads of human junky actions forgetting what we sow at the end. Never mind. Iam not a saint or a prophet ,Iam only a person who looks the the world with a different eye.
Seeing and witnessing God's goodness on the Earth even to those who do not believe in Him. We are either specks of fire or goodness. Both exist and it will never end. I as a person take responsibility of my choices and words I say. I take responsibility of my personal boundaries and how to handle life even everything around is crushing me in . It is too much to be explained in one page. It is our human scenario that keep repeating itself over and over and the lesson never been learnt. Our life is a journey, may be it is filed with thorns or smoothly flat that takes you to a whole different realm of experiences and shocking facts, that you never expect they could exist.
Days and years pass, and still there is no definite answer to all of this. A big burning fire that consuming any beauty around or within. If you can see what am i talking about,we all will be united to push this away and not allowing the evil to destroy whatever goodness does exist on this earth. If you can understand, if you can believe that each one of us play a part in any big results are seen by the world ,then you will stop and ask yourself what is my part in this? Is it good or...... then I have to evaluate and reevaluate my presence here on Earth, feel the truth of yourself, from ashes to ashes, from dust to dust we are.What is in between , it all comes back to you , do not blame anyone else , even you walk with a broken heart, keep fight for the good .BY: ME" The Old Ancient Woman"
It becomes like a big package for someone to carry on daily basis. How many am I going to insult? How many am I going to demeaning? How many am I going to sabotage? How many am I going to control? How many am I going o deceit? How many am I going to use? How many am I going to manipulate? How many am I going to inbox? How many am I going to confuse? How many am I going to stab at the back? How many am I going to spoil their work day? How many am I going to let fail? How many am I going to label? How long am I going to spy on? How many am I going to gossip about? How many am I going to crush them under the bus? the list is so long to end. what kind of life is that ? Are you a human or appointed by the devil to rule over the earth?
The list never ends as each day ,each hour something will be added on. So hard to live a day like that. It is so hard to feel you have dignity and value on the earth. What am I made for? and why am I in this place? The world drives you to insanity that nothing around can make sense. When people focus on people , nothing will be build as it takes only one bad apple to spoil the whole harvest and nothing will make sense. It takes one word from the devil to turn life into hell. Closing the vision and building thick wall among you and the grace of God that is found all over around. Yet, your package blackened your eyesight that you ca not breath. Fear dwells in each corner of the place. Truth never been told, and when it reveals itself ,you only hate yourself as you never imagine how hard it feels and change you for ever, you will never be the same. Walking with a broken heart will be the norm and who cares. First Jesus died from a broken heart. He came with salvation and here the story is keeping repeating itself even after thousands of years after Jesus death. The roots of evil lies within the seed of sin that still dwell in our flesh. Rising above the flesh is hard to grasp or believed within the world that still controlled by tangible things, and sparkly world where it can take you? I can not tell.
Walking with a broken heart is the norm, who hears or feels the real pain within. How many broken hearts around? And who sees the cause that was built in through words, actions, attitudes and stories being told. How many anticipate in that global suicide of human souls? No wonder the evil on rise and no sound for those who walk with broken hearts to the unknown and not believing even in themselves. Allowing the world to crush our soul this means giving the right of God to the evil with no resistance or raising voice. We are surprised shockingly when something happen and end lives of hundred in many different ways, forgetting the part we play to fill this evil action with loads and loads of human junky actions forgetting what we sow at the end. Never mind. Iam not a saint or a prophet ,Iam only a person who looks the the world with a different eye.
Seeing and witnessing God's goodness on the Earth even to those who do not believe in Him. We are either specks of fire or goodness. Both exist and it will never end. I as a person take responsibility of my choices and words I say. I take responsibility of my personal boundaries and how to handle life even everything around is crushing me in . It is too much to be explained in one page. It is our human scenario that keep repeating itself over and over and the lesson never been learnt. Our life is a journey, may be it is filed with thorns or smoothly flat that takes you to a whole different realm of experiences and shocking facts, that you never expect they could exist.
Days and years pass, and still there is no definite answer to all of this. A big burning fire that consuming any beauty around or within. If you can see what am i talking about,we all will be united to push this away and not allowing the evil to destroy whatever goodness does exist on this earth. If you can understand, if you can believe that each one of us play a part in any big results are seen by the world ,then you will stop and ask yourself what is my part in this? Is it good or...... then I have to evaluate and reevaluate my presence here on Earth, feel the truth of yourself, from ashes to ashes, from dust to dust we are.What is in between , it all comes back to you , do not blame anyone else , even you walk with a broken heart, keep fight for the good .BY: ME" The Old Ancient Woman"
Sunday, February 11, 2018
Critical Moments
So vain if you think that life can last for ever in our temporary home. So fragile to think that getting what you want at the expense of others lives ,is the true image of powerful life. So dummy to think that the world is going to be handed to you in a silver platter without understanding is this truly you. Every moment in our lives we are exposed, faced with critical moments. Whether to trust or lost trust. Whether you feel safe or being on the fringe of losing your life. Again the sweet voice and words may hide the most dangerous scenario could ever happen in a person's life. It is a hard equation to understand , especially if you by accident drift into the world of intelligence and you are being monitored as a threat or an asset.
It is not a safe life, even the sparkle of this world is not true. Nothing is true, everything in it equals money not life. Being a garbage man, maybe a safer type of life than being in such delusional hypothesis. Such hypothesis drives persons to be drawn to each other even the hardly know each other and the consequences may Using your weaknesses and struggles to play the game of vain savior, till the mission is done and the person may be lucky to live. Humans made such scale of a person, it is not from God. It could be due to a lavish life style or struggling to death type of life. Using the drought and taking advantage of such struggles. Sharks are so clever in such a game , looking everywhere for gold fish to eat. Poor the person who could be a gold fish. As optical illusion, there is water at the end of hot dry desert, and nothing bust another mile of hot dry desert.
Our human flesh sometimes surrender so easily as it grows weary. Seeing death everywhere and in every step, make the person wondering, it is all have the same end, so to surrender means giving her/his life voluntarily to the shark and the permission to be eaten. Admitting the power of the shark and his/her weaknesses to survive in a world is hardly sense to be true. You may consider this is the delusion of a weary soul, and yet it is a true life. Our paths in life take us into the wilderness to discover more about the darkness in the world. Wondering is there a true light. And where God from all of that. Vain battles draw us back to the second sin committed by Can & Able. Bothers and yet two different hearts they carried into the world. And in your journey of life ,you will live or witness the same story repeating itself due to the envy and jealous eye and heart. Think about it, what makes a person envy or being jealous of another even they hardly know each other. The devil won't stop putting such seeds within the hearts that are willing to be the master players of the game and gaining vain glory on the earth. In a competitive world nothing is real or authentic, all are running for their own personal gain. Where is the mission, it lost its essence to be true or be believed.
You see the world from a different lens. No more believing whatever you see. Seeking a deeper relationship with God as He is THE ONLY STRENGTH to trust and lean on. You are faced with critical points to ask yourself what are all these battles about if we really understand why hate , envy, jealousy could ever exist. If Iam made from nothing but dust. From dust we came and to dust we go back. In between there is a mission to be accomplished. To multiply and being fruitful in the land that was created for us, here on earth. And here comes the question how to multiply and being fruitful? According to God's will or the world will? We are faced by two wills and critical moments which to pursue. It all goes back to your heart, what you do truly want earn the world which will leave you once it is done from you either reckless , weary and helpless or prisoner or dead? That is the only end the world is giving , nothing eternal is promised, all temporary sparkle. All are vain. Or choosing the hard way to do YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER will, which is the toughest journey a person could ever have, nothing is rosy on this side, bleeding externally and internally till your final rest with YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER, figuring HIM smiling at you saying, WELCOME BACK HOME.
The choice may not please you in both ways there is a price to be paid. And You are faced with these critical moments of making a choice , both are hard, both have promises, both look easy at the beginning, and yet once you stepped there is no way back. One of the prices to may pay if the risk and exposure to danger anywhere any time. Thinking of these critical moments, as today while working my part time job , the busyness around made me break a glass and the glass scattered , I cleaned everything around, so strangely by the end of the day, I told myself OH! I haven't finished my coffee, and here instead of drinking it as usual before I leave,I decided to dump it and here i found a big piece of the broken glass in my coffee ,how it jumped into my mug? have no idea, That was a moment of heavenly protection and intervene again over my life, even I feel iam not safe where I am ,He is watching over me, each breath I take is glorifying HIM. Connecting my body, spirit ,Soul with Him , Even in the midst of my pain I see Him my HEAVENLY FATHER who I only trust. BY: ME" The old ancient woman"
It is not a safe life, even the sparkle of this world is not true. Nothing is true, everything in it equals money not life. Being a garbage man, maybe a safer type of life than being in such delusional hypothesis. Such hypothesis drives persons to be drawn to each other even the hardly know each other and the consequences may Using your weaknesses and struggles to play the game of vain savior, till the mission is done and the person may be lucky to live. Humans made such scale of a person, it is not from God. It could be due to a lavish life style or struggling to death type of life. Using the drought and taking advantage of such struggles. Sharks are so clever in such a game , looking everywhere for gold fish to eat. Poor the person who could be a gold fish. As optical illusion, there is water at the end of hot dry desert, and nothing bust another mile of hot dry desert.
Our human flesh sometimes surrender so easily as it grows weary. Seeing death everywhere and in every step, make the person wondering, it is all have the same end, so to surrender means giving her/his life voluntarily to the shark and the permission to be eaten. Admitting the power of the shark and his/her weaknesses to survive in a world is hardly sense to be true. You may consider this is the delusion of a weary soul, and yet it is a true life. Our paths in life take us into the wilderness to discover more about the darkness in the world. Wondering is there a true light. And where God from all of that. Vain battles draw us back to the second sin committed by Can & Able. Bothers and yet two different hearts they carried into the world. And in your journey of life ,you will live or witness the same story repeating itself due to the envy and jealous eye and heart. Think about it, what makes a person envy or being jealous of another even they hardly know each other. The devil won't stop putting such seeds within the hearts that are willing to be the master players of the game and gaining vain glory on the earth. In a competitive world nothing is real or authentic, all are running for their own personal gain. Where is the mission, it lost its essence to be true or be believed.
You see the world from a different lens. No more believing whatever you see. Seeking a deeper relationship with God as He is THE ONLY STRENGTH to trust and lean on. You are faced with critical points to ask yourself what are all these battles about if we really understand why hate , envy, jealousy could ever exist. If Iam made from nothing but dust. From dust we came and to dust we go back. In between there is a mission to be accomplished. To multiply and being fruitful in the land that was created for us, here on earth. And here comes the question how to multiply and being fruitful? According to God's will or the world will? We are faced by two wills and critical moments which to pursue. It all goes back to your heart, what you do truly want earn the world which will leave you once it is done from you either reckless , weary and helpless or prisoner or dead? That is the only end the world is giving , nothing eternal is promised, all temporary sparkle. All are vain. Or choosing the hard way to do YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER will, which is the toughest journey a person could ever have, nothing is rosy on this side, bleeding externally and internally till your final rest with YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER, figuring HIM smiling at you saying, WELCOME BACK HOME.
The choice may not please you in both ways there is a price to be paid. And You are faced with these critical moments of making a choice , both are hard, both have promises, both look easy at the beginning, and yet once you stepped there is no way back. One of the prices to may pay if the risk and exposure to danger anywhere any time. Thinking of these critical moments, as today while working my part time job , the busyness around made me break a glass and the glass scattered , I cleaned everything around, so strangely by the end of the day, I told myself OH! I haven't finished my coffee, and here instead of drinking it as usual before I leave,I decided to dump it and here i found a big piece of the broken glass in my coffee ,how it jumped into my mug? have no idea, That was a moment of heavenly protection and intervene again over my life, even I feel iam not safe where I am ,He is watching over me, each breath I take is glorifying HIM. Connecting my body, spirit ,Soul with Him , Even in the midst of my pain I see Him my HEAVENLY FATHER who I only trust. BY: ME" The old ancient woman"
Thursday, January 4, 2018
New Year, New Chapter
Another year has passed. Time went so fast. Lots to do and no time is enough to finish one task . Words come to my mind. I wonder if I will be able to do my day. My body is changing and I am feeling Iam chasing time. I know there is something wrong with my immune system and I am no longer like before. Thanking my Creator for the breath He gives me each time. Even I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, wondering if my life does matter, or if my existence does matter. I put before my eyes always two things" I was made from nothing but ashes and dust." The other," The whole world was created for me.:It's a Jewish tradition and I love to follow.
With all the competitive spirits I see around me, changing others to take the first seat, I always ask myself what this mean. I seek my peace within the little things I make. Praising Him The Mighty ONE. I don't give an ear anymore for any fake words. Hurt will happen and the main thing how we trust ourselves. So sad when I experience how humans belittle or dehumanize one another. To treat each other with respect, that is a tough thing to find anywhere you go. Yet, you have to stand your ground and be sure to who you do truly belong. You are not here on earth to glorify your name, you are here to glorify His name and reflect His awesome work He has created within you. Your heart ,your mind and your body is living for Him as One thing .The body may get weak ,yet your soul still alive and getting its strength from Him. Witnessing how we are like objects being used for little and once it is done the first thing to get rid of is "you" . So, hard to have a voice within a world that is controlled by money and power. who are you? You are nobody , in a world filled with figures never end. Having a dream , may lead to you end.
Even the worldly battle never ends, still there is this voice that is pointing me back to Him ," From ashes to ashes, from dust to dust" So choose your battles wisely and never stop to trust. Trusting Him for the day He is giving to you. Trusting Him for the work you do. It is all back to Him , all the worldly glory is vain one, only what is meant for Him will last. I am sorry Mr. World your standards are not mine. I have a higher standard than you. It is my Heavenly father standards . They are everlasting ones. They are the ones that nourish my soul and no other.
Carrying all my hopes and dreams to the new year 2018. My dear 2018 maybe I am weak in body so far ,yest my soul is still longing to a real true life here on earth . A life that reflects His mighty works in a frail body just like me. So, if you do not mind , lead me to the right path not the mysterious ways I walk through everyday. From ashes to ashes and from glory to glory . Holding so tight to the hope I found in Him. By:ME"THe Old ancient woman."
With all the competitive spirits I see around me, changing others to take the first seat, I always ask myself what this mean. I seek my peace within the little things I make. Praising Him The Mighty ONE. I don't give an ear anymore for any fake words. Hurt will happen and the main thing how we trust ourselves. So sad when I experience how humans belittle or dehumanize one another. To treat each other with respect, that is a tough thing to find anywhere you go. Yet, you have to stand your ground and be sure to who you do truly belong. You are not here on earth to glorify your name, you are here to glorify His name and reflect His awesome work He has created within you. Your heart ,your mind and your body is living for Him as One thing .The body may get weak ,yet your soul still alive and getting its strength from Him. Witnessing how we are like objects being used for little and once it is done the first thing to get rid of is "you" . So, hard to have a voice within a world that is controlled by money and power. who are you? You are nobody , in a world filled with figures never end. Having a dream , may lead to you end.
Even the worldly battle never ends, still there is this voice that is pointing me back to Him ," From ashes to ashes, from dust to dust" So choose your battles wisely and never stop to trust. Trusting Him for the day He is giving to you. Trusting Him for the work you do. It is all back to Him , all the worldly glory is vain one, only what is meant for Him will last. I am sorry Mr. World your standards are not mine. I have a higher standard than you. It is my Heavenly father standards . They are everlasting ones. They are the ones that nourish my soul and no other.
Carrying all my hopes and dreams to the new year 2018. My dear 2018 maybe I am weak in body so far ,yest my soul is still longing to a real true life here on earth . A life that reflects His mighty works in a frail body just like me. So, if you do not mind , lead me to the right path not the mysterious ways I walk through everyday. From ashes to ashes and from glory to glory . Holding so tight to the hope I found in Him. By:ME"THe Old ancient woman."
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