De- Cluttered

Overwhelmed by the huge amount of instructions , details and control , even power conflict . Wondering first what is going on and what all of this may mean , coming out that it is all about who is fighting to rise . Not rising above the self -centered and egoistic nature of humans . Not rising above any shadows of negativity may be around .Not rising above our weaknesses and trusting that in our weaknesses , His strength arise . None of all of these . 

It is the rise of control and power over one another . The ones who are on fire to get it all , not caring about their actions or feelings of others. Those who mastered the art of trouble making to rise and push anyone else down .It is this hunger of power to have control everyone around and using anything possible to get what they want. It is the rise of a whole new generation that know what they are doing and where they are at. Actions are opposite to the world , using manipulation to get what they want . 

It is real , you won't be able to identify them as they use all tools to get their way out , you can't compete with their extreme extrovert nature and loud voices . Looking for making trouble from the beginning of the day till the sun set . Day after day , year after year , you are around such toxic environment you lose yourself and you have no power over whatever is happening .Their focus is not focusing and revealing the good around and pass it on .No , their focus is to find fault in you , seeking any mistake around , twisting words and stories to fit in their target , stabbing you at the back , offending you, attacking you , and nothing is right in you , so no good is coming .And that is not life you want to live or being around for along time . It drains you and rob you of your identity . Their main goal is to rise above anyone else as they know what gain they are getting and how making troubles , make them in control of everything around . You live the contradictions between words and actions ,using any tool to get what they want and that is alive volcano , never cools down , burning everyone comes near it . Unless you are another alive volcano and then you can be fed on each other toxicity . 

That is a real picture of life we can experience and when you are not ready or lack understanding of the nature of toxicity , you will be sliced into piece and to wake up requires a whole different process to be healed . If you are lucky enough , God will open a door for you to walk away and save the rest of you , if something left .Look how deceit and unfaithfulness can drain us as humans and make us wondering what a human being means if we live imitating the animals lives ? 

Putting the pain and hurt that is left inside of us , is something that will allow us to step forward towards understanding and standing out for yourself . Remembering how Jesus dealt with the pharisees , doing God's will and prayers . When you face such hard hearts that are hungry to be fed on others hurt and pain , is a life trial , traumatic environment , no healing in such environment , no sympathy or understanding . Another mountain of faith to climb as you get to know what the human heart could be about .

when words contradict actions and when actions reflect the patterns of betrayal and stabbing at the back , here faith stands out and telling you , it is time to wake up and declutter  . yes, this is how I can put it , Negativity , stabbing , trouble making , these are the food of the evil , they strive for the pain of others and sucking any resources to themselves not anyone else , even their words tell you something opposite or something you are desperate to hear . Watch out for false voices , vain promises , and deceit . Watch out for those who are trying to burn you out . Watch out for those who envy you despite all your loss. even your smile they don't want to see it ,and this is part of the evil and how the world works .Watch out for those who pretend to be friends and they are not . Watch out for those who don't believe in your value as a human and who you are in God's eyes as their eye sight unable to see God's grace all they see the materialistic appearance around . Watch out for those who look like doves and attack like wolves . 

The list goes on that makes you to stop and say , hey ! something doesn't seem right here . What is going on ? Wait and try to understand and seek clarity and guidance .Ask God to open your eyes for what is true and what is not . The serpent is still alive and never stops her envy on us . It comes into our lives in so many ways and being too much trusty is not the right option . Declutter everything , anything that allow the evil to work in your life ,this is not the will of God in creating us on this earth , move on , even be alone and reflect on everything went wrong for sure you have part in it , take responsibility of allowing the serpent to control your life . Reflect on the reason why you are created and where God wants you to be and what He wants you to do. Come to a point to be reunited with God , for Him we belong and to Him goes all the glory .All the false voice will go vain at the presence of God , invite Him to lead you and guide you through your journey of de-cluttering all the burden you carry and the guilt that you are feeling that there is something wrong with you ? He created you in His image for something to do , it never been vain when He created you . 

Watch out for the false voices that envy your creation and your existence on earth . Watch out for anything that may hurt you on purpose of robbing you of your humanity and your worth in God . Watch out for all the distractions that is from the evil not from God , so before you step into the conflict of control of power ask yourself a question what is the cause I am doing this . For all those who strive for troble making and conflict of power , they won't change , they will continue the game of hunger towards their endless ambition , hunger of power and authority over others. You don't have to follow them, you have to follow who created you and to Him you belong . 

De-clutter every thing takes you away from your union with God. Come to know Him personally and you'll be reunited with the whole universe that you are part of it .   

The Month of June 2016

It is really interesting that I have not written anything before that named by a month of a year . And the question is what is remarkable about this month , that I am no longer care how others see me or think of me and having a renewal in my foundation in who I am found .Jesus Christ . Renewing my vows and commitment with him who gave his life for me on the cross so I may have life . A life of grace and peace .To stand my ground knowing he is with me and watches over me .No more lies of the world to deceive me .He washes me over and over with his endless loving grace .Jesus , my joy and my salvation .He truly save .


Comparing how I faced the past tribulation with anger and resentment and how I face the present tribulations by coming back to him asking him what He wants me to do . As he carries the price for my life and knew why he did that willingly , his love to me . Living each day in his endless love to me ,seeing him in each thing around me and rejoicing my heart by his name . I live my love story with Jesus with new understanding of my salvation . What does it mean to belong to him and how he makes you different from others . Despite my complicated life and each trial I face daily ,Jesus is helping me to carry on .


Yes, I did mistakes by trusting the wrong soil , minds and hearts .I admit it ,I own it . There were a price to be paid when I accept Jesus and invited him into my life and my ignorance of another price I have to pay to belong to his body . Yes , my ignorance and zero social emotional skills . To be thrown in the ocean of life , the outside life , the real world with my nativity and ignorance that took my away from all the academic life I lived before . life is not in the books or stories in movies or in between the sealed walls of protection and high influence . Life is not in the fashion shows or the more you have , the more you are to be . Life is not looking down on others because of the type of work they do or the way they wear. Life is not what was taken from you .Or what you are now and the world expectations of all negative actions they imagine you do ,due to your socioeconomically status .


How many stories had been told about me and how many trials I have to go through . Whatever happen , I ran to Jesus my fellow and my partner in each breath I take . Yes , I admit my mistakes of believing many lies about myself and allowed them to spread into my life that they affected the way I act and react .I own it and admit it .

June 2016 giving me a new chance to see the true me and seeking to be who I am not how others want to see me . The word I don't care really sounds so great. My mission is with Jesus to reflect his love , acceptance and kindness to us all . I don't know how others use my name and why , each have their own agenda that doesn't belong to me .And God won't allow any harm to happen unless He wants to teach me something and acknowledging His presence in my life over anything else .How beautiful the sense when you know who gives you life and who you are living for ? To show his kindness and not be stepped upon as many loves to do . To put me down this is not from Jesus .To frame me , that is not from Jesus . To reject me , Jesus accept us all and he is the only one who deserves to be followed .    

So interesting when someone hurt me and saying sorry , I couldn't feel it as the harm has already been done and Iam carrying its consequences as I carry my cross through my journey with Jesus . Yes , sorry is meaningless to me , it doesn't weight anymore . The wound is still open . Jesus blood covers me all , feeling his pain on the cross for me . Feeling his compassion even on those who nailed him ,father forgive them for they don't know . For eight years now in tribulations , I forgot the professional side of me and who I used to be, believing that I don't know anything and Iam not capable of learning anything due to my ignorance and lack of confidence , Yes I allowed the devil to conquer my peace and here God care surpass any power on earth to put me down. Jesus is keeping to carry me and leading me to the truth .

How hard to feel the same situation as Judas betrayed Jesus for few rubies and how he felt how much the pain to understand what he did to Jesus .Yet , the example of others to condemn others without realizing what they actually doing ? that is our real life, it is hard to avoid this hurt as it happens ,each have their motives which all vain . I feel the pain of Christ knowing who betrayed him , yet he knew this is God's will that leads me , Jesus please will you allow me to understand your will for me through my pain? And why we waste each others lives in such schemes and stories .It affected my body and mind and here Jesus is holding my hand again not to be drawn into the dark hole of the world and trust in Him with all my heart , mind and soul that everything will work out for our good as He never breaks a promise .

June 2016 carrying my cross once again , knowing he is always there for me .

The New Deal

Wandering and wondering of who you are and what are you meant to be ? sure , a question never left my mind . Daily thinking and digging for the deep truth within you ? Sure . This is yes and that is no , making choices and decisions that may work ? why not , this is the human in me and I'll let it be .

To know the deep voice inside of you ...... to listen and be still to understand , that is the hard part in my life .... in a rage that makes the weaves within my mind and soul clash together to form such outrageous ways of thinking and vision to the world around me . why not , let it be .

To clear my mind from all negativity that may hinder my brain from seeing God's grace around me .Yes , that happens alot . That is the conflict between the past that keep chasing me in my dreams and day and my present which I choose to be present in it no more past , no more dragging myself into the same dark hole of unchanging hardness of minds and hearts . Bringing myself into the present , no matter where I start I know He is creating something within me and allowing me to draw closer to Him .

To know my wants and needs .To understand what God meant for me ..... to open my eyes to the truth that He is with me and He will never forsaken me nor leave me ..... to try to accept what I couldn't change .... have no control on or not my choice . To take a deep breath and inhale His gracious goodness and embrace the Holy spirit within my day , body , mind and soul .



Knowing the facts make it easier to understand which way I will go and what steps needed to be done.

Believing in God's presence and strength within me . Inviting Him into each day action and a step towards healing and revealing His plan for me . I am not a number or nothing in the universe .I am His creation who created in His image . How beautiful to think of that and act upon that and declaring His wonderful work with me . Yes, He is with me and will never leave me to the snare of the Fowler or deceit of the enemy .I am His wonderful piece of art that is shaped within me in my heart , mind and soul and that is what make me alive . To be His awesome creation that carries His wonders to the universe I exist in . Yes ,That is me .

God never meant for us to suffer , God is good , faithful and Right .It's me who needs to understand her wants and needs and what she wants to do with her life , what difference am I going to make .... Should I write a book about my day dreams ... or going in more deep water of exploring other places on the universe to understand the complexity that is created within human beings ....... or write and write till it is being published one day and present a new message to the minds and hearts and souls for those who can understand me .... or keeping on studying as a life student and never stop discovering more and more about how marvelous brains are created ....... or keeping on taking it day by day doing what I don't understand most of the time as a caregiver and receiving all these breaking feed backs that brought me into a world of limitation and isolation ..... Is there a reason when you receive lashes  and you have no control over it ? By all means , I'll keep moving on , I'll never stop till one day my purpose and reason for assistance will reveal itself so clear to me  .

who knows maybe all my dreams come true for someone ...... it may become the fantasy world for somebody to read about it ....... why not it is all human imagination that has no limits and reflects His Mighty power in creating us this way . Accept me the way I am or not this is the deal ,I'll keep moving on . , Say Hello or not I don't care anymore . By: Manal Eweis

The New Deal

Wandering and wondering of who you are and what are you meant to be ? sure , a question never left my mind . Daily thinking and digging for the deep truth within you ? Sure . This is yes and that is no , making choices and decisions that may work ? why not , this is the human in me and I'll let it be .

To know the deep voice inside of you ...... to listen and be still to understand , that is the hard part in my life .... in a rage that makes the weaves within my mind and soul clash together to form such outrageous ways of thinking and vision to the world around me . why not , let it be .

To clear my mind from all negativity that may hinder my brain from seeing God's grace around me .Yes , that happens alot . That is the conflict between the past that keep chasing me in my dreams and day and my present which I choose to be present in it no more past , no more dragging myself into the same dark hole of unchanging hardness of minds and hearts . Bringing myself into the present , no matter where I start I know He is creating something within me and allowing me to draw closer to Him .

To know my wants and needs .To understand what God meant for me ..... to open my eyes to the truth that He is with me and He will never forsaken me nor leave me ..... to try to accept what I couldn't change .... have no control on or not my choice . To take a deep breath and inhale His gracious goodness and embrace the Holy spirit within my day , body , mind and soul .



Knowing the facts make it easier to understand which way I will go and what steps needed to be done.

Believing in God's presence and strength within me . Inviting Him into each day action and a step towards healing and revealing His plan for me . I am not a number or nothing in the universe .I am His creation who created in His image . How beautiful to think of that and act upon that and declaring His wonderful work with me . Yes, He is with me and will never leave me to the snare of the Fowler or deceit of the enemy .I am His wonderful piece of art that is shaped within me in my heart , mind and soul and that is what make me alive . To be His awesome creation that carries His wonders to the universe I exist in . Yes ,That is me .

God never meant for us to suffer , God is good , faithful and Right .It's me who needs to understand her wants and needs and what she wants to do with her life , what difference am I going to make .... Should I write a book about my day dreams ... or going in more deep water of exploring other places on the universe to understand the complexity that is created within human beings ....... or write and write till it is being published one day and present a new message to the minds and hearts and souls for those who can understand me .... or keeping on studying as a life student and never stop discoving more and more about how marvelous brains are created ....... or keeping on taking it day by day doing what I don't understand most of the time as a caregiver and receiving all these breaking feedbacks that brought me into a world of limitation and isolation ..... Is there a reason when you receive lashes  and you have no control over it ? By all means , I'll keep moving on , I'll never stop till one day my purpose and reason for assistance will reveal itself so clear to me  .

who knows maybe all my dreams come true for someone ...... it may become the fantasy world for somebody to read about it ....... why not it is all human imagination that has no limits and reflects His Mighty power in creating us this way . Accept me the way I am or not this is the deal ,I'll keep moving on . , Say Hello or not I don't care anymore . By: Manal Eweis

Stand For The Human In You

We are what we think , interpret and receive from the outside world . We are a combination of multi layer formula of hidden  buried desires whatever they are . We are mixed combinations of us and others , we are not a fine line of one harmony shaped once by The Mighty One who created us in His image . Have you ever stopped for a while and think about that ? Have you noticed His Mighty creation and you are a piece of this creation how beautiful that could be ? Since we started to build authorities and layer after layer of socioeconomic designs , things are getting more complicated and incomprehensible , we got lost in the dark waves of haves and have nots . We got lost to see ourselves in others , never being content or satisfied of who we truly are . Pulling each other in a ditch of resentment and anger. The hidden volcano that is awaiting for triggers to erupt .Have you sensed this volcano inside of you  one day? When you have accumulated lots of receptive unwanted actions and emotions? Thinking that by demolishing this amount of anger through aggressive reaction , here , the storm will come to an end and here we go ,you are declaring to the world the beast that exists within you .


The law of the jungle where tearing flesh is a way of victory and power . Here we are the beasts not humans . Here we express a lower creature into our self existence . The law that doesn't listen to the sense of compassion and empathy or self awareness of who we truly are . It is the law the driven by instant desires controlled by brain messages and our receptive prospective towards them , to suppress the burning desire of hunger and blood . It is not a desirable picture to imagine a human in a beast nature .  No pleasure in seeing other creatures lifeless and covered with their blood . Not even for the animal after bringing their desires into reality . Not a nice picture to imagine . Watching the Medieval stories in movies and TV shows all bring this beast out to life. Being surrounded by other beasts . Being in circles of helplessness and see no hope around , bring the beast to life . Greed , brain washing , false beliefs , bring  the beast into life. Believing politics propaganda and their hidden agendas , bring the beast into life. Poverty and ignorance , lack of awareness and education , bring the beast int life. Believing that through tearing flesh ,we can bring justice, bring the beast into life. Falling in the trap of brain delusion , bring the beast into life . Despair brings the beast into life.


Everything passive and aggressive feed the beast and let him awake from his own sleep . Nurturing him through all these negative daily doses of news , views , putting more and more obstacles to reach the possible . Looking for authorities as the single hand to make everything right and even by doing nothing , they have to do something , putting the blame and shame on authorities and forgetting ourselves who we are and what we really want out of our lives ? By keeping looking for something to be done , imagining that the whole world knows what does it mean to you . Or waiting on someone to do it for you , or believing fake broken promises . In  a world talks more than doing ,we got lost into the law of the jungle in the modern age. We got lost believing that I deserve more than where I am or I have . We got lost in the materialistic sense of life that surrounds us everywhere we go where things became more important than the human in you . The human in you got drifts by the capitalism and imperialistic structure of the world around you . We got lost in the fake glamorous promises made by kings and queen of the jungle . Allowing you to forget the true human in you .

Few stands out for their humanity and the human aside of them .   Refusing to be deceived by the game of the modern word.  Where human became less value than things. It is hard to stand out for what is right as doing what is not right is easier and has a powerful impact all around and yet , no one will regret but you . If you truly understand who created you , you will understand who you are and listen to the human in you . You are made to do something , something good , something filled with His love to us all who will make everything right in His own timing . You have the power that He put in you to stand out for the human in you . You are the most wonderful creature He ever made on earth . Call upon Him to help you to stand out for yourself , knowing even with the simplest daily actions , you are doing it . Listen to what he created in you to do it . Be His masterpiece that you will be proud of. It is you not anyone else to bring the human in you and say " NO to the beast inside of you." God is good and He never made anything wrong . In His grace , we can stand out and bring back the human in us .By :Manal Eweis  

The Moments That Switch Our Vision Of Reality

walking the path of life can be some how tricky and not what is meant for you . Sometimes you come to a point to distinguish the illusion from reality and what things really are . Who hasn't been in a detour or a set back ? Who hasn't been broken by the storms that our complex life brings into the middle of our dreamy moment . Here you go , planning , thinking logically and envisioning how it could be . Spending days , months or even years , believing that yes that how things have to be or how you understand it should be .Reality and true life has something absolutely different from our beliefs and illusions .

For years since I landed a foreign country that open its doors for me . A broken and completely not functioning . Going through the awake after the hurricane ,believing many voices and faces of what you hear . It is the status of inability to judge , the crashed sounds keep playing in your ears , hindering you to see what it is real and what is not . It has been a very rough journey , when wolves come into your life in the clothes of lambs and you are unable to understand till the attack happens and you feel your bleeding , you can't bring it back this ability of clarity and understanding . The pain of the attack takes you by surprise that year after year you lose sense of the life of living human beings . It is a battle in the dark not the light so you can hardly be able to describe it or being believed as it is all about warping you in the frame of unstable mentality and criminality . Why , you wonder , I fled my own country for my freedom of faith and choice so what is going on ? Going on a psychological pain and inability to understand what is really going on. All you know that something doesn't seem or look right . Something wacky is being warped around me , taking me into the life of non-living and taking away the human in me . Why? you ask yourself hundreds of times I didn't give me life for this ? I didn't leave everything behind for such burden to be added into my life . Crying out to Jesus to lead me and guide me as He is the only one who owns me .You know from the deep bottom , year after year that there is something wrong and why me ?

Talking about the situation , turned everything to worse . Standing where you are and shouting enough is enough .There is a human in me that is created in the image of God . This creation has to be respected and honored for we are His own as we give to Him all honor and glory we are not a private property , puppets or lab rats . So hard to see yourself a piece of an experiment no value and here you stand and say it over and over " Enough is enough" ,He paid it all for me on the cross so I can have life , an eternal life . Putting me down is not Jesus way , judging me is not Jesus way , warping me   in the frame of mental instability is not of Jesus way .He heals , He embrace us as we are , with him no condemnation no judgement .He welcomes us the way we are .Knowing our flaws and we are not here on earth to categories one another and decide who is in and who is out . Who can live and who can not . In Jesus I am alive and I am adopted ,Iam accepted and healed and redeemed . Putting me in that isolating environment , putting fears into my life , this is not the way of Jesus . Jesus asked us to be His witnesses on earth , till He comes back we are live witness on his unconditional love for us , his acceptance , his kindness , his mercy and never want us to be like those who were controlled by demonic powers and Jesus healed them , restoring many years of helplessness and torn out wit pain and grief .

Once Jesus touches our hearts ,He heals us and put this hope inside of me to stand strong in Him to know that He is the way , the life and the vine . If we are going to end each others lives for the sake of fame , authority , power and money .I have to stand for my life and say " enough is enough " and blessed is the one in Him I am found .Blessed is the one who lives in me .Blessed is the one who restores me . Blessed is the one who is leading me into the path of His righteousness . For 8 years in a journey filled with tears , trials and wandering ,He is leading me where He wants me to be . In Him we are united and are one .If we know that Christ is the only thing to hope for  , no pain will be caused . No harm will be done to one another . No more tears, no more suffering .Rejoicing in his name , declaring His mighty power into our lives who makes beauty from the ashes .In Him I learn how to listen to His whispers and keep moving and never look back .

In Him no condemnation