Trauma and Memory how it can change human perception about the world a round them

 

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       It has been mentioned before that the whole world already inherited the cell memory of trauma 14 generations backward, from hunter-gathers, manual labor, famines, pandemics, epidemics, wars, conflicts, separation, violence, even witnessing all challenging events, storing them in each cell of the body not only the brain. Cellular memories of adversity and stress are shaping a pattern changing the human perception of themselves and the world around them. While the emotional brain activates the fight, flight, freeze, fawn, faint, or collapse response. Even if we try to understand why stress becomes an embedded factor in modern life, it will go back to the inherited cellular response to trauma reflecting guilt, shame, fear, anger, avoidance, withdrawal, aggression, or even disassociation and delusional perception of realities. 

    Simplicity is something foreign and may sound weird or questioned, while the world operates from points of conflict and unrest. The energy passes from person to person at a distance of one mile. Here, the electromagnetic, energetic field holding humans to earth, and not falling against gravity, absorbs all energies around them, facilitating trauma response, depression, anxiety, and unexpected stress response, changing the body's reaction to the event. The fluidity of energy becomes frozen and disrupts healthy communication across the cells. The brain does not know whether this is the past, present, or future; the memory is what is alive in the body, and the mind activates from the interaction among different molecules, chemicals, and conducting waves toward stress response. The tension within each mile passes through those already experiencing prolonged trauma over time. The body keeps the scores the same as the mind, the racing mind within the density of competition, barriers, and never-ending demands that shape the great overwhelm. Some humans struggle internally until they reach the point of nowhere with no sense or direction to keep going. Their trauma shapes their neurophysiology, orchestrating the milieu of societies, groups, or even the world. For some, their world is only their family or community. Yet, within each interpersonal interaction, there is a chance for trauma response, either with emotional arousal or shutting down. The body understands what to do in the time of prolonged state of stress. Stress impacts your gastrointestinal tract, heart, and brain. It changes the molecular metabolism of whatever happens at each moment of your life, writing a new code for health and disease. 

  Civility becomes foreign, and self-doubt is the role. It may seem like normal reactions or behaviors, but they change the person from the inside out. The restless, aggressive, anxious, angry, fearful, intimidated, disassociated, avoiding the absent person in front of you, there is a history of trauma running different equations will determine the coming two years, five years, or many years of health and disease. The sound of a million scenarios, past and present, takes the mind and the body in a battle that will exhaust the brain. The turmoil of endless events, dialogues, and experiences is preventable and vivid and won't disappear. The struggle is beyond the vulnerable soul that once through it will be ok, and here they are, passing through the past and the present in a meaningless format of pain. The meaningless journey of yesterday, the dream that faint away. Stretching arms to the length of invisible past and present traces. It is the game of a world that pays no attention to the racing mind, the exhausted body, and the brain. No matter how old they are. Modern life assigned to age as all has its share of endless wasted dreams, racing minds, and wandering thoughts trying to connect some dots, make sense, or comprehend what all this is about when the soul loses its essence of inner beauty and chases delusional portraits of unreal stories, lives, or faces. The collective trauma assigned a portion for everyone on earth, each based on their destination, hopes, and dreams. However, will the humans wake up and be conscious that all that causes suffering and pain by the end is nonsense? Only humans made it to keep the game. Unless self-liberation and rising from the ashes find their life path, trauma response will decide the trajectory of the past, present, and future. Unless humans see their value and don't have to carry this suffering all the way through their journey, justice may occur. Understand themselves and attach to nothing. Live in the wisdom of those who rejected the world's humiliation to their soul. Live in their shadow to breathe, to find a way into liberation, and see the value in you as you are fearfully and wonderfully made; peace!!! By: ME, "The olde ancient woman." 

The captivity of human weaknesses and the voice to overcome

 

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        No female on earth hasn't experienced a point of her fragility in the face of adversity, leading to shifting their perception about who they are, what the world means to them, and the presence of others around them. Some decided to be the opposite of this point of weakness, either to be the most challenging person you ever know or the avoidant, the hostile, the rebellious, the charming, people pleasure, or even the other me personality attitudes. However, at a specific point in their lives, adults change their perspective about themselves and how they are perceived, controlling every experience situation through their development and showing up in the world. Their fractured self becomes the point of attraction to each lousy player with a different name, face, age, race, or ethnicity. Interestingly, when the adult figure should be the protector and care for those who are vulnerable and naive, the opposite happens. They become the hunters of how to shatter this vulnerable, fractured self in front of them. Starting with the honeymoon phase, sweet words, and charming personality for the fracture, she thinks she has found the savior to her wishful life. The Nativity and the ignorance of the other drive the process of taking the bait, not knowing they are doing the same to many others, and that is how their lives revolve around shattering the fractured self in front of them. 

      It is a social trap within low moral attitudes and behaviors. Intersting the captivity to human weakness is life barriers, cross-culture conflict, discrimination, prejudice, or even punishment. Coercion turned out to be a social norm for manipulating the fractured self. It is a vicious cycle using both males and females to shatter the fractured- self without a trace, which will look like social norms and cultural barriers in the phase of breaking the fractured- self. Females fall into a vicious cycle of life events and adversity. The cycle repeats itself daily, year after year, with no trace; the fractured self becomes exhausted, consumed, and weak. If you try to find your voice or restore yourself, you will be shattered and back to the vicious cycle of breaking the fractured- self with helplessness, worthlessness, and no hope for a change. 

          Captivity to the digital world when the truth is lost, using all tools to capture the body and mind of the fractured self. She feels no value in herself from a young age. The question still repeats itself, How can I find my voice and be free without fears of being shattered repeatedly? Is it my fault? If I were a male, would the same thing happen to them? How can I be when GOD gave us this life for free? Humans control each other because of their desires or revenge for what they cannot get. She lost her voice, strength, and belief in herself and does not know what value she carries. She became captive to the voice that depleted her strength, unaware that they do this to many around. She does not know that within each lousy player is a dark spirit wanting nothing but shattering the fractured- self; they see her wound, vulnerability, and being an easy target to satisfy their dark spirit of shattering and closing the world around her to fit their goals. She was defeated, unable to find her voice and be free. Peace!!!! By: ME, "the old ancient woman." 

Finding the Voice... from dysregulation, regulation, and co-regulation

 

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      In a state of dysregulation, the body goes through an enormous amount of neuroanatomy and neurophysiology changes, changing the communication from cell to cell and from one network to another through excitatory and inhibitory pathways. Furthermore, changing the perception of the world around us. The survival moment of the world is not a safe place and fight-flight response. That is not a joke or overlooking phenomena in trauma response, and the classic words like it is all in your head, why you think, feel, act this way you have too much to be grateful for, and what is wrong with you, you lost yourself in non-realistic approach to life, get back to reality or you are a loser, the world continue putting under the rug the biological memory markers in each cell of the body stored trauma history and its impact on the present moment or situation you go through when the battle is not seen physically, and manifest in sickness- like behavior including anxiety, depression, PTSD, hypertension, Type-2 diabetes, cardiovascular, cancer even suicide. The biomedical model is not designed to measure trauma on the level of moment-to-moment cellular behavioral change when traumatic events occur or when chronic unpredictable mild stress (CUMS) for 21 days occurs. It is noticed due to the cultural expectations to mask our struggle and battle the inner battle of our body-mind. When your voice is being ignored, ridiculed, or overlooked as part of sociocultural norms, who can express their voice and concerns and be naturally attended to through empathy, compassion, understanding, and listening to differentiate what is true and what is not. Lack of trust and safety in the modern world alienated humans, making them run on their own unfiltered core beliefs and work through the state of dysregulation, which can impact the central nervous system on the molecular level, manifesting illness and disease over time. 

     It is estimated that 80% of the population with autoimmune diseases are women. For example, https://www.wabe.org/stanford-research-examines-why-women-are-at-greater-risk-of-autoimmune-disease/ while the societal dysfunction undermines the cellular change based on sociocultural, socioeconomically, political, religious, and adverse childhood experience role in changing the pathopsychophysiology of human function dysregulating the nervous system over time leading to the state of overwhelm, and shutting down, from hypervigilant to hypervigilant slowing the heart rate and the body disassociation from the mind and going into unexplained phenomena by research shutting down.  The sympathetic response shifts from excitation to inhibition from fight-flight to dorsal vagal complex within 20 seconds, which makes it hard for science to trace on a continuum in a natural setting. It is hard to navigate and collect all the facts to understand the body giving up as a protective mechanism. The world is not a safe place to live in. 

     It is a world of isolation and ridicule by societal norms that find the person a target of bullying, gaslighting, and increased exposure to stressful situations, making the person like a lab rat to make fun of. Have you ever questioned why the value of humans, regardless of their age, gender, race, language, belief, or socioeconomic status, has been devalued over time, the collective trauma response and the domination of lack of understanding the human value, existence, and the increased desire of revenge, humiliation, and devaluing one another to satisfy inner wounds? The understanding is that we no longer live in the jungle, chasing the tiger and acting in survival mode. However, modern world complexity inherited the innate response of the sympathetic response activated with each perceived threat situation and each traumatic event asking how much the body can handle unless there are psychopathic tendencies where the small size of the amygdala prevents the absorption of human suffering, and lack of empathy finding joy, reward in hurt, harm, and humiliating others only to get the infusion of seeing the suffering as a source of pleasure. And that is a scary scenario to comprehend while the human experience is denied. Their perspectives are ignored when finding peace or acting from the normal state of existence when the voice is heard, and the words are not misinterpreted or misunderstood. 

     Why are females shaping the majority of autoimmunity that is embedded in prolonged stress exposure, abuse, discrimination, and misuse of their being due to sociocultural restraints? Few find their ways; however, they must have a solid protective community around them. The inner concept of human behavior is complicated unless we come to an inner agreement to investigate why I think the way I think, do what I do, and feel the way I feel. The examining process develops gradually till you reach a state of coherence and awareness that the perceived threats are embedded within the cell membrane activated by life events, and finding the voice to express and release this tension of stored trauma requires a highly civilized mind to give the space. Time for healing without stirring the memories or provoking experiences that trigger the past trauma; it is embracing the wounded human soul that manifests in the wounded mind and body when oxidation injures the tissue and from lesions and scares. 

   It takes a collective united effort to reshape the culture in understanding how trauma changes neurophysiology and how to reshape experiences through creating a community based on human strengths, not stressing their weakness, the wounded soul, and the wounded perception of the world around them. It requires finding the voice during the dysregulation, carrying the person into the positive social experience to reconnect them with life, and understanding their neurophysiological response to stress, which won't get away. Modern life is compact with internal and external stressors, which urge humans to be selective of what is considered their own load to deal with and what is not considered their load to push it away from their perception of stress response that evokes a traumatic memory or event. It requires bringing humans back to honoring the mind-body connection in handling stressful situations and restoring trust in themselves when they were ripped off one day. The elevation of human suffering starts with honoring the creation of GOD within and understanding that not everything in the world belongs to our day. We must take it in, absorb it, and allow it to destroy our internal mechanisms to degrade the life within. It requires finding the voice where trust and safety can be restored and tuning into the inner strength of overcoming. Peace!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

The Tangled Web of the Unknown....

 

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     The schema of ignorance, and absence of understanding, the state of accumulating tension surface, and the moments of no other option rolling in a circle of the tangled web of the unknown, especially when the unknown is adding up to past trauma, which sounds does not want to end, and the vicious cycle of despair hovering around to act as the protective belief old systems of being stuck, helpless. There are closed circles of human suffering. The deep inner mirrors of societal complexity, unaware of being held in a place of clarity and awareness. It is not a good place to be in, and this image of far away comprehension why things happen this way? The old blame, guilt, and shame visit with confirmation that they have more understanding than yours, and you are wrapped in the cycles of overwhelm. When it is said knowledge is power, you must understand what kind of knowledge must be presented at each moment of your life. Generalized knowledge is like standard information experienced when known or shared. Accustomed knowledge based on the situation's content, context, and nature differentiates results from left to right. Ignorance is the cornerstone of many hardships when you think you are doing the right thing, and it is perceived as a fault when you think life is a normal thing to go through regardless of age, gender, race, ethnicity, language, or color. However, experiences put you in different equations, sometimes hard to believe when your perception differs from everyone else, when misfortune haunts every decision, thinking you are doing the right thing. Conflict is not the choice to do life, however life present you with millions of conflicts and the challenge is getting harder. You question what it means by a balanced, better, and honorable life and how it could happen from how you have experienced life and how you are challenged to manifest. You come to the realization that when you are in pain, you should not express this pain as the average person; you have to keep it to yourself and move on. 

     The complexity of what is right and what is wrong, but you are sometimes in the pendulum state, and at the right moment of drifting down the mountain you try to climb, the fall can not be described, battering your mind, body, and every single cell in your body. The heaviness and pain that can not be overcome in one day have to be carried on and open the understanding of new knowledge that was missing in the business of what you thought making life. The facts present a whole different chapter in life, a chapter you used to witness and hear about, and some told you about through their painful journey of navigating life. The naive perception of the world no longer exists, and the case opens a new gate of knowledge to navigate through the tangled web of the unknown and how life indeed looks. Is fear present? Absolutely, yes, as the case this time, it not only includes you but millions around. How do they do it and struggle through it, and what life may look like for them through pushing through the tangled web of the unknown? Life presents a higher mountain to climb in understanding the human condition when challenge is the norm, ignorance is in place, and nativity leads to complex outcomes. UTOPIA is an idea in the mind. 

   I often believed that I was hated and that my utopia brought more suffering than justice; I usually think that when ideal thinking tries to find its way within the chaotic and troubled world, it reflects ignorance and nativity, while reality means a whole different thing. Rewriting the Odyssey of modern life when advancement presents nothing but a tangled web of the unknown. The complexity of the unknown and the challenge to push through it is the new formula of modern life; however, how many pieces of information have you understood so far, or with each piece, you are wrapped in a more tangled web of the unknown, and how you can push through. 

     From a simple morning, having your coffee with a piece of bread so content, and working on feeding the mind when the mind has no value or place within the tangled web of the unknown, bringing challenges to navigate through, pressing the dreams that are living within you, to be to have a life with dignity, and respect, chasing the storms with bare feet and hands, and what you think is the solution becomes the problem. The mountain is getting higher, trying to trap you in the tangled web of the unknown with a sense of scratching the surface for a breakthrough. The bare feet bring life to the tire feet, to the exhausting mind pushing through the tangled web of the unknown; the challenge is another window to understand the density of the waves and how many things happen for another lesson to learn the hard way, and a sense of being with those who care, however, the ignorant have to push through and learn through the way... Peace!!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

The survival state of action through intergenerational trauma

 

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     When it is said that humans are born with the innate instinct of survival, it is a fact. First, humans were supposed to look for food, find shelter, and be strong enough to face the danger they presented back to them from a primitive standpoint, creating innate survival mechanisms within the group, having the sense of fight-flight, and chasing the wild nature of natural threats. The inherent fear response exists to protect and seek protection or live within the given scenario to survive. However, living means reproducing more humans, teaching them the survival mechanisms within the wild, and the cycle continues, leaving the fear and threat response embedded within the human DNA, adding to the complexity of human evolution to the changes in the gene expression and how the world is perceived from the survival mechanisms. It is a wild world, even if it is different in how it looks and how far technology is advanced, till the primate's innate survival response manifests with each perceived threat, lack of safety, and fear of the unknown. Humans can not live without striving for survival reaction activation that controls each aspect of life. Quietness and calmness are for a bit, yet survival requires continuing the fight-flight response from one generation to the other. The continuous battle of mind-body networks. The separation of the mind and the body, while the body controls to protect. 

     Many hear the words stress, manic, panic, paranoid, or depressed as the identity representation of modern humans, ignoring the body's protective mechanism when hope is lost or fighting to figure it out in the survival world of primitive body response which drives the chaos, disassociation, dissipation of the mind in a state of overwhelm. Perception of the world is not a safe place to live, and there is a fear of continuous chaos and loss of sense, whether humans act from fear, recklessness, selfishness, or trying to win it all at any cost. In contrast, the perception has changed from that child who does not understand the meaning of chaos, disorganization, dysregulation, or being safe and taking in the wrong messages from the universe, storing them in their body in each cell. The cells store the autobiographical memories of each emotion, feeling, sensation, and experience of chaos manifesting over time when experiences look alike, sound alike, or even feel alike. The storage of experiences shapes how the moment and events are perceived. Sometimes, it sounds like humans never left the moment of chaos they first experienced, accelerating the fear response and increasing stress levels. It sounds like everyone acting from their own stress response, different worlds yet shared outcomes from dysregulation to chaos into calmness and soon back again to the dissipated state of mind and the control of the body until it shuts down. No more response, no more pushing forward to suppress the state of overwhelm. From the point the world is not a safe place to live in, to numbness, disassociation, and even complete coldness and alienation from the body, admitting "I can't take it anymore, silence, and escaping to nowhere where life comes to stillness till, this one response from the sound of empathy, compassion, and no agenda brings back the body to life with extreme pain hard to fathom and requires time to overcome. 

      Trauma overloads the pure minds, taking chances of their inability to comprehend or respond to the state of ignoring the human within. It takes a toll on humanity and societies within collective trauma response toward one another; it is encoded with each human gene expression, putting them vulnerable to disease and illness. It has been said that we have to identify our reactions, whether they are coming from trauma or only experiencing natural stress responses that faint in a short amount of time and do not stay for long. We have to ask ourselves how we are connected to the self and the body and understand the body-mind connection in trauma and stress response? Stress response has become part of the evolution of human condition, however trauma became the turning point of civilizations, societies, and nations when fight-flight, fawn-faint, freeze-collapse becomes everyday life functioning within the world. 

     Not only did collective trauma and individual trauma bring the world into a state of high vulnerability to sickness and illness, but they also created a state of alienation, disassociation, and a state of overwhelm, asking, am I safe? Can I survive? Am I a human or being seen as a subject in the wild kingdom of survival? The picture of the pure child disappeared, and the image of chasing through the wild kingdom activated the fight-flight response, which takes mostly 20 seconds of activation, causing prolonged damage to the cell, tissue, and mind-body connection, leading to disease-like behaviors with valid biomarkers. Presenting the gap between true-negative diagnosis and false-positive diagnosis. The neurobiology of trauma is camouflaging in the cluster of manifestations of disease and illness, leaving the trauma unprocessed, unresolved, unhealed, and running the show of a chain of sicknesses and disease-like behavior. The question is, are we noticing the difference between the stress response and the trauma response? Can we be educated about the differences and how to identify them? If you have a task to complete and experience a sort of anxiety, that is natural stress; however, if you have a task to complete and you get triggers by time and place with a manic or panic episode, that is a trauma response the body read the input and acted accordingly based on the history of experiences, are we prepared to respond in both situations still it requires a collective action to differentiate both pathophysiology, environmental, and behavioral state. The human condition is a complex state that presents us with many challenges in how trauma drives disease-like behaviors with valid biomarkers. Peace!!!! By: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

Trauma and the Human Condition.... How can we find our way out with respect and dignity?

 

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      Have you questioned why specific individuals are chosen to be in the vicious cycle of Trauma and hardships? Have you asked yourself how most chosen are females, women, single, young, or middle-aged? Have you ever noticed that either of these chosen ones was able to break the chain of Trauma and hardships? Most whites attained some level of education or advanced stages of education. However, how they seek to break the chain of Trauma, hardships, and suffering does not align with the world around them, which can stir anger and fightback attitudes. Their initiative to take responsibility for their lives is not accepted as the checklist of the world around them couldn't accept the free will of their choices and decision-making. The question is, why do females have to be gaslighted, traumatized, and hated? Why do they have to be opposed to seeking all life with respect and dignity? Why must they be on the verge of harm whenever they try to stand up for themselves? 

    

    The Western Culture is founded on independence, on the individual ability to prove their responsibility, make decisions on their own, and plan for a life that is based on achievement and accomplishment. Literature across cultures defines explicitly the requirements of the individual in Western culture. However, realities reflect a whole new story of the mix-up of Western cultures. Non-western brought a new paradigm when independence is designed for specific social classes, not the chosen ones, for being the main topic of hardships, drama, Trauma, and escalation of suffering due to either sociocultural, religious, political, race, ethnicity, or color. It was perceived that in Western culture, once the individual proves independence, they are given opportunities and chances to grow and exist. However, the literature must reflect on the subcultures and inner groups' conflicts of interest, presenting the blindspots for the outer groups to be caught. It is like the fishing net; the water reflects nothing but one piece of topography and geography; however, the outcomes vary from one person to another.

       Moreover, the goal of the naive individual taking the book by heart is entirely different from the experts in the inner net and bolts within the culture. What is seen, written, or spoken is altogether different from actions, especially when it comes to female women, specifically those who have a trauma history, their gateway to be used and abused when the opportunity presents itself, serving far beyond different goals from what is familiar. You have heard that oversharing can be a critical player in abusing someone and causing harm to their life when we speak about our plans, hopes, and dreams. Never know that some are looking for their opportunity to destroy all your hopes, dreams, plans, and even life, bringing you back to the vicious cycle of drama, Trauma, and no trace. It is all your fault and how dumb you are about life. Therefore, thank you for allowing the wrong players to orchestrate the harm with no trace or evidence; it is all in your head. You are not mentally correct, and you need to check yourself. Trauma is the lead of a scenario of deciding who is in and who is out and the human nature of having control over anything you can imagine. Your struggle, stuckness, and suffering are your fault as who do you think you are to have hopes, dreams, and plans to make life and work toward that, the humiliation of each step you take, each effort you make, each step toward your dream is being seen small, not good enough, and unachievable, you are daydreaming. You deserve the suffering and going into this vicious loop of Trauma with no way out. Each time you try, you will be punished for returning to square one. You thought taking step one would be supported and valued, not knowing that other players are excellent at causing harm with no trace, particularly since you have all the characteristics to be used. It will generally be seen and perceived as your lousy character, behavior, manipulation, and abuse of others. It will be the perfect framework to be isolated and more frustrated, as no matter what you try, square one is designed specifically for you. That is the modern hypothesis of the weak white race or the tyrannical white female who manipulates others with behaviors that look like lousy decision-making and challenge the whole. Many left the world without telling their side of the story, and many lost faith that there is something like independence and having the opportunity to change their dreams as they were denied their dreams a long time ago with societal silence and support for the whole. 

     Unfortunately, suppose you think your journey will be respected and honored, live, and let live. In that case, you are naive enough to be the chosen one in being within the game of vicious cycle of Trauma, drama, abuse, gaslighting, and suffering as it brings joy to whoever found the perfect match for their narcissistic abuse, fear of loss of control, restricting the life of the chosen one's majority white females. Independence is mentioned in the books. However, it has different real-life shapes based on social norms, culture, beliefs, religious rules, politics, race, ethnicity, color, or language. It is beyond the land. The land is the perfect gift given by God. However, the human psyche is scary and brings suffering into the lives of others. If we truly live in a Godly world, harm won't exist. If we truly follow the foundation of GOD's hopes for us, there will be live and let live. However, we live in a world of compact agendas, schemas, and hardships by design. 

    However, Trauma prints a whole new DNA within the body; it is the path to disease, illness, and breaking down human lives, which becomes the joy of the bad players to use without a weapon as the traumatized person based on their ability to persevere differ, the hypothesis provides the concept that the white gender is weak and easy to be broken down. Moreover, those who were not immune to understanding the end goal of the wrong player to break the woman down and go after the other one, the series of social injustice when there is no cure for hate, competition, jealousy, and the strive to control others that way they satisfy the harmful player harm without a trace as GOD is not in the picture from the beginning. However, can a different story be written differently from the classic scenario of no hope, independence, dreams, and goals being punished? Seek GOD's guidance and provision, and Iam sorry that you were born as a white female with a different view of the world and different aspirations that conflict with the interest of the whole... We may seek GOD's guidance and still seek the answer, for HE is good. Peace!!!! By: ME," the old ancient woman." 

The Journey of One Thousands Miles.......

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        When you think of the life given freely by God, you believe that is how everyone thinks. You may walk through life with a naive, limited, or restricted scope of living, or not fully aware of the whole picture, and understanding your surroundings. Life is a complex manifestation of human expansion. However, this expansion messed up the point of the main purpose of life, and the life of the other. The peak of competitiveness and intergenerational trauma drive the perception of so limited scope of life. While some seek a piece of bread, and salt to be fed and preserver, others seek the indulgence of an endless list of gluten and have never been satisfied. The cards are mixed when the existence of humans in a tight conjunction of competition confuses what is what, and why? The tunnel vision of the moment and the overwhelm of life-given challenges lead to choices that can change the day dramatically. 

     Sometimes I observe the world from a point that may look different from how others observe it, the unknown, the increased density of competition, and chasing after useless perceptions. Stretching the mind into the endless list of unanswered questions. What, how, when, why, and why not? are only the equation that keeps being messed up, lots of confusion in place, and clarity is something foreign. The road is ambiguous, going back to the question about the value of life, and the value of humans despite their race, ethnicity, language, color, or age. The main thing is how can we honor the choices, and decisions that are made without constricting them into a specific tribe group, race, ethnicity, or the endless battle of in-group vs out-group dynamics. The suffering is shared, no matter what you try to pretend, the piled mountain of intensity will come to a point when you can not carry it anymore, the silence breaks down, and the suffering is shared. Is it the human condition to keep walking the same road of ambiguity, silence, challenges, and confusion where things are going somehow into a zone of nowhere? The heaviness of ambiguity takes the wandering thoughts, and minds into the land of millions of thousands of stories to be told far away from reality based on the accumulated perception of the unknown. Shattered dreams, hopes, and miles of trying to do what is right, yet challenges are peaking without understanding whether that is a reality and not a perceived reality. 

     The naive, La La land is broken piece by piece, revealing how life is perceived, revealing realities that you think, is it too late to comprehend, or there are other possible alternatives to honor the gift of freely given life from God. Modern life presents its complexity through an unreasonable narrative of human suffering. One day the voice was taken away, trapped in a foreign land, leaving no choice. It made the day harder without clarification, or the right to be, questioning whether is it the will of GOD, or the will of humans how people have to live? It is the betrayal at the moment of trust, it is the shock when it is unexpected, the decision to take more than you can handle, seeking peace, and having this constant dialogue between you and GOD when humans create harm, GOD uses it for good that what His promise says, yet the complexity of life present you with more challenges to a state of overwhelm. The blindness of jealousy, envy, hate, and the energy to stop you from moving on show you nothing about what the world around looks like, and which point it acts from. 

     The more you learn about the hard realities, the more you strengthen your conversation with GOD. Your journey with HIM, the moment you stepped out of the false realities that only seek to make you weak, helpless, and living the day with more restriction, the reality schema of wall-less prison of mental schemas, captivity to the desires of the flesh and not seeking GOD's purity, and honor to walk the walk of loving the way you are created regardless the trials and tribulation you go through to stop you from walking the walk. while the human mind can take them into selfish battles with the flesh, GOD can protect, and guide them to the path HE designed it for you. Ignoring the power of GOD is the most clear sign of the ill-fruit of the spirit. Here, you have to remind yourself of GOD's presence despite all the trials put through the journey. Leaning on GOD is the only thing you can trust. HE is the truth, the way, the life, and HE knows you by name. Put all your trust in the ONE who made it all... move on. Peace!!!! BY: ME, "The old ancient woman." 

Understanding the SELF-self.....are you connected or do you want to reconnect?

 

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   Hello stranger.

      How often do you sense the destination within? How frequently are you challenged to face the self? How frequently have you experienced contradictory thoughts, feelings, and actions that either do not align with the self, or you are surprised you could ever think, feel, and act in such a manner and complexity? How often have you tried to escape from confronting the self and sought to hide behind a set of pretend, fake, and go-with-the-flow energies to do whatever others do without rethinking how this can relate to the true you, what will be the consequences, and how will it impact tomorrow's decision making? Here is the person who looks got it all together, who is going in circles. Here is one who is controller, explosive, jealous, destructive, envious, and hating on whoever demonstrates something they wish to have or prevents others from having it. That's the destructive trauma in action. Trauma is a lineage from one generation to the other, and how it will manifest is what societies play an integral role in promoting trauma for the sake of control and survival of the fittest or the biological rule. From the moment using food, shelter, sex, and manipulation to move around in the world to the philosophical principles of creating a better world to elevate from the human-animal brain to the human-human brain and finding the balance between both manifestations of the theoretical and practical instinct that control human dynamic the theory of jealousy, and love complex emotions that control my group's dynamics to serve a goal in the survival of the fittest approach based on the level of the gain. Complex emotion paradigms are increasing in societies that attain more power than they can imagine. Complex emotional schemas work gradually and spread within communities till they shift the focus from the self onto the others as opponents must be taken down; the psychological and mental schemas change the perception of realities and redirect the thinking and feelings, followed by actions that confirm these schemas. 

    Complex emotional schemas are the most challenging phenomenon to understand from the biopsychosocial model. The cognitive coherence among social norms, beliefs, behaviors, and actions is complex within the schema of the perceived self in contrast to the perceived world around the person. The foundation of inherited trauma facilitates the environmental and behavioral triggers to promote the interactions between what we know, how we know it, its validity, and reliability when it is compared by in-group and out-group rules blueprint, and what is accepted from biopsychosocial when it is controlled by socioeconomic status (SES), low income, unsafe environment, learned helplessness, and emotional conflicts between the wants and needs on micro, and macro level. Through the turmoil of events or adverse life events, people shape their perception of their life and the world around them, whether controlled by the whole world against them or the entire world is made for them to explore and learn how to navigate. However, I hope it is as simple as that since where the person is born influences their relationships and whether it is healthy or unhealthy to build what is called resiliency, grit or survival mode, maladaptation, and learning through initiation of the behavior of the strongest within the group, and here lies the most impactful or may be dangerous point of influence when the strongest person in the group promoting malfunctioning, abuse, destructive, risky behaviors that harm others, and increase the destructive attitudes from one generation to the other. Unfortunately, destructive behaviors change the neuroelctochmeincal networks and functions across the lifespan. Unhealthy relationships, behaviors, and actions become the norm, and even crime becomes a game of joy and survival. 

  When the person normalizes unhealthy behavior like gaslighting, bullying, anger as a source of social justice, harm physically and emotionally, and abusing position or social status, to name a few, for the person, it is the norm. They have not been exposed to or learned different behaviors; hence, to be strong, you have to abuse others and your power; thus, you attain satisfaction or existence despite the voices that understand that this is destructive trauma talks. Unfortunately, it is depleting and exhausting when the group interacts from a destructive trauma lens. It is a power struggle, gaining control over everything around, abusing power to maintain the sense of control, and getting it all in place. 

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     The conflict between the self and the perceived world is fragmented; anger and frustration drive actions deep inside. The body language, facial expression, and tone of voice can tell a lot about whether the person is acting from a destructive trauma perspective or the philosophy of creating a better world regardless of the chaos around. However, the complexity of emotions, beliefs, values, and sociopolitical influences shift perspectives about what is real? What is true? And what is perceived? Increasing the external and internal conflict within the environmental settings and human interactions. Humans do not live in silos anymore. The internet, the flow of means of transportation, the media, and the internal information dissemination, knowledge, closed- groups and open communities are followed with an extensive amount of information that can cause confusion, disruption, or conflict of interests and increase the tension surface across different groups with different goals, and intentions. Coating realities with misinformation can be a destructive tool of individual existence. At the same time, emotional complexity revolves around control, manipulation, and a sense of exclusion that is a human survival mechanism for control. The weakest and most vulnerable persons will easily fall victim under the pressure of the emotional complexity mechanisms when it is fully aware of the person's trauma, weaknesses, and vulnerability triggers that can create surface tension in place and win the scene. 

    

    The most challenging war is not weapon wars; it is the socioeconomic, mental, psychological, emotional, and closed groups' schemas and strategies to control. While socioeconomic and political conflict increases, the vulnerable diminish, and they are left behind. It is no longer about individual influence but the actions of the closed group. The individual is not considered in the equation. Some call it the anthropocentrism cluster rather than the ecocentrism perspective. Opinions are only opinions, not values or facts; hence, the lower socioeconomic status, the more opinions influence closed groups, limit others' perspectives, lack respect for disagreement, and increase surface tension. Suppose you ever asked why I am treated this way. In that case, you have to go back to the roots of anthropocentrism, conflict of interest on a closed group level, age, gender, race, language, level of education, income, familial history, and the environment that controls the group dynamic. It is a lifelong journey of self-discovery; why am I treated this way if you want to differentiate? And who am I? What is my purpose? How can I connect with the self first and reverse the go-with-the-flow mechanisms, bury my voice, and fake it till I make it, or I have to do what others are doing even if it is immoral, injustice, and causing harm to others physically, emotionally, psychologically, socio-economic, and controlled by global political views, and mass media misinformation. 

      The destructive trauma layers have been building another human within the human, separating them from themselves and allowing the external to see the other as the competitive opponent, unwanted in the place, excluded, and disrespected. The narrative of destructive trauma is the most challenging complex within the psychological phenomena. It is like a matrix of maladaptive behaviors, habits, and social norms passed from one generation to the other. 

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  The highest moment is when years pass, the person faces realities when expectations do not meet the outcomes, the psychosocial paradigm challenged with learned helplessness, the world happened to me instated of what lessons I will learn here? How did I get here? Goes back to the first moment the other perception is put onto the person's perception of the other; it is cyclical and 360 degrees, operating from the subconscious mind of no way out. Iam trapped, and Iam what happened to me conflicting with moments of 90 degrees hemisphere of back and forth of complex emotions, the pendulum effect back and forth, there is a way out, there is no way out, the psychosocial, emotional impact that makes contestant vibrations of shaking the conscious, emotional mind with instability, and overwhelm loading the body with chemo toxins, and changing the neurocircuits, and the pathophysiology of the human anatomy. However, it is leaving the person battling this psychosocial toxicity effect on an internal level, reflected in behaviors and maladaptive decision-making externally influencing the well-being, health, and interactions among one another. It is not only about what you eat, where you live, and work; it is about the toxic load of destructive trauma that leads the way groups think, behave, and act. It is a tornado in a bottle ready to explode in the face of whoever opposes how they feel, behave, and act. It has a triple impact on the individual stress level, triggering past trauma, leading to malfunctioning groups from within, and reflecting on the outside world.

 

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     As long as it took generation to generation to bring the same outcomes to the new generation acting from the same point of destructive trauma to whatever triggers the emotional pain within, the case is lost. While defenders become accusers, and offenders become the leading players in the arena of life, driving the closed groups' inner force toward chaos and disruption and shifting the direction to all maladaptive psychosocial, emotional, political, and environmental functioning forgetting about the respect of human subject, caring for individuals welfare, equality, justice, and the freedom of voice, and choice, conflicting what is being said and what is already done? My apology, stranger; you are in an era when disruption is the norm, chaos is the way out, and neglecting human rights is part of the complex emotional schemas in a challenging world, exaggerating conflict and laughing at peace. Whenever you find something in this article that resonates with you and your journey in life, take a moment to reconnect with the self and ask, is there a different way to live and let live? Is there something I have to work on? Why am I so defensive toward others? Why I collaborate in bringing chaos into others lives? What kind of person this made me, and what type of person I used to be? Reflect on self-perception in the right of generational trauma, the connection between the perceived beliefs and the genuine connection with the self, relationships that enabled the destructive trauma to be the social norms, and how to take a stand if this brings more conflicts and diminishes the inner peace. Understanding that each group around serves only the inner-group interests, protecting them, and acting from a survival point of view to remain in control, existence, and power within. Understand that destructive trauma not only deforms the perception of life around you but also the interaction and perception of the other and the world around you. I wish you well and hope you will stop for a second and change one thing at a time to reconnect with the SELF to restore the self. Peace!!! By: Me, "The old ancient woman."