Realities VS. Compassion Disconnections

 

        Unfortunately, I have to face my realities where I realize that how you believe, and how you think may oppose how life goes around you. 2021 is adding more hard lessons to learn. a dream for a united world, a world where fairness and justice may prevail. A place where the person is being their true self and have the freedom to be themselves. They are able to speak and have a voice, a place where the person can contribute their ideas, minds, and collaborate with others. I dreamed of a world of ideas where I have clashed with a world of other concepts. Foreign concepts I didn't know about, however, through the years I began to experience and know these foreign concepts day after day including implicit biases, racism, prejudice, hate crime, cybercrime, stalking, gossip, racial discrimination, Psychic games, illegal hacking, virtual bullying, inner circle, exclusion, dramatic events, plotted conflicts, tactical manipulation, and the list goes on. I wonder is it the end of the times when the traumatization of humanity is the key to having control, power, and authority over those who are weak, helpless, ignorant, and have no clue what all this is about. It comes to me like a pool of deep dark energies that see nothing but themselves and how to control. Peace is missing. Harm is the key to reign. I wonder how can humans have a healthy life or mind to do good. I mean true good in the world not fake ones. Fear is the common dominator in actions. Confusion is the player through the day. I started to wonder where God was from all these Psychological turmoils that lead to diseases and sickness along the road. Fake Media, fake names, fake sites, what else is fake? One day I thought technology is made for the good of humanities, however, year after year it turns to be the new plague to rob humans out of their humanity, and no justice as the game is out of control and millions are falling victims in this trap. The world is busy fighting the pandemic, so no time no efforts are available to combat what is happening behind the screens. You start to ask where is the safety? where humans can feel that life is real and not a scheme. Hate turns people into hackers, trackers, and stalkers. What a reality do humans have to deal with and they have no clue how this could happen?  

          Contradictions among the words and the actions, decision making, and plans, nothing is real, all fake, so what you can do? The new phase after covid-19 enables others to take advantage of the weak, the poor, the helpless, keeping them in drastic traumatized environments where growth is not an option. Compassion is only letters, goodwill is a daydream as it will get you into troubles, deep troubles, mind your business and stay in your lane. A fountain of hate lashes will fill your day, if you try to stay out of your lane, dream, take action, or have a wish to be. The heaviness of the load is hard to take. However, this is the new age we are up to. The times are getting tougher, having a simple day is another daydream. Free will, and freedom of speech are far-fetched expressions. No guarantees for anything, even what you see, the loss of hope, and the coming of dep grief, what the reality means for you, is completely different to others, words are no more to be the measurement of complete truth. So stick to what you believe in, nothing is worthy to fight for, do your day, and move on. Hate never built something good, never built lives, never made healthy humans.  By: ME " The old ancient woman" 

Precious Moments to Hold On.....

 

            Being trapped in the bubbles the person formed around them, social bubble, media bubble, career, bubble, and the list goes on take the person through endless constraints. They become tied to the frame of these bubbles and how they should be. The expectations of how they could be and why they want them this way. When the bubble over occupied the person's life, they lose their peace to the race they found themselves in within this bubble, the demeanor of the person reflects their inner attitude and aptitude. The tighter, tougher, and competitive the bubble, the more the demeanor of the person reflects itself in the world, very aggressive, stressful, as a tug a war game. The fraction between the opposites results in social-emotional scars and these scars and wounds lead to the rapture of more values to stand upon. So, interesting to experience such rapture that breaks the bond between the human and their true self, as the person first lost is happening within. They are not losing the outside, in fact, they are losing within. How whole they were, comes to a question. Losing the inner soul leads to more self-doubting and questioning the essence of everything. The view of the world becomes a reflection of the degree of the rapture within. The actions come from a place of judgment and labeling everything they face, the world becomes a picture of black and white. Extremes in judgment and action. The person becomes the prisoner of their thoughts, the battle becomes silent from within, no one can hear, however, the actions reveal lots of contradictions in between. The steps become more imbalanced, the feelings become more mixed and confused, the isolation becomes the comfort zone. As the person experiences the discomfort of the rapture within. The history replays itself like a non-stop show, reminding the person of the betrayal, deceit, and lies coated with closeness and pretend. How deep to feel the betrayal and allow yourself the feeling that accompanies it. Oh! God of mercy, only Him knows how it feels and how it changes the person's trajectory of life. However, are those who betray, aware of the impact and damage that has been done? The answer is so simple, they don't know as they acted upon unhealed early wounds, these wounds left hidden under the rug till they manifest themselves in the person's demeanor. However, they don't know or they refuse to face what lies deep in the cave of the mind, and feelings and are left unaddressed. Betrayal of trust and care is the hardest human crime that raptures many bonds, relationships, connections, and truths. As it comes from those we allow into our space, they didn't value this invitation and understood its core value of grace. 

         Oh! God of mercy, only Him can carry the person in His grace. In the darkest moments, and in the midst of the loss and the pain, only Him can bear all the outrage anger that overflow and overwhelm any human being, allowing the person to go through the darkest point of the valley of the shadow of death and know that YOU are there. The rapture forms a thick wall in the person's heart, walking with the grief and loss silently as it is hard to bear in the human world, there is a wall of protection and determination this won't happen again. Even getting up every morning may trigger a piece of the rapture, yet, the person chooses to walk by faith, rejecting all the patterns that remind them of what happened before. The patterns are already imprinted in the brain, it is hard to be erased, however, they choose to be themselves and not someone else, they decided to bear the pain and understand this is their stone to walk away, to be in alignment with their soul and not being wounded by choosing to remain betrayed and lied to, silence sometimes can be the comfort zone that doesn't stir the volcano of anger and sadness within. Yes, the journey is heavy, filled with questions, and refusing to repeat the past and be a slave of human darkness of betrayal and deceit. Each day is a new promise to move on, a step to stand in the glory of God with gratitude, even the journey carries many trials and hardships, only by the grace of God, the person can proceed in life with hope and healing, holding on the simple momenta that are brought through the day, only by the grace of God the person walk through the day, only by the grace of God, the person can enter the endless blessings of His mercy upon their soul. Listening to the whispers of the fresh air, witnessing God's creation in the endless beauty He created, the sound of the trees, birds, and the flow of endless whispers saying" Fear Not, I am with you." These simple precious moments carry the person through. Walking with God, knowing that He can listen, understand what you have gone through. By: ME." The Old Ancient Woman." 

          

Keeping The Space of Beingness

                Year after year, I am drawn to the human condition. The human beingness and existence. The natural immunity of a tribe, and the socioeconomically, political, and environmental factors that change this natural balance from within. Each day is an opportunity for exposure to the human condition. Humans are not operating from an isolated point of affluence. Affluence is the main player behind human behaviors, decisions, relationships, connections, careers, social activity, then the demographic and geographic outcomes. The impact grows harder when affluence is controlling a big spectrum of the population. Two populations are the social capital for affluence to take place either stability of challenge that is elderly and children. The elderly population is growing, their limitations grow greater as well especially when they were constricted to specific patterns of lifestyle and connections, jobs, and income, here it depends on the numbers that are upfront to manage the rest of life. The numbers determine the outcomes how the end of life could be, again it may be smooth, or again the struggle and suffering will be the common dominators for an increased level of cortisol, stress, blood pressure, elevated level of glucose, obesity, belly fats, heart diseases, diabetes, and increase chances of strokes. That draws the attention to how the more humans grow affluence and health are tied together in modern life or especially in the industrial and capitalist communities. That is the real truth of human conditions, how humans do in life will determine their health outcomes. The competition gets tighter, the stress is more chronic, and the human condition increases the rate of diseases and deaths. Chronic conditions at the top Cardiovascular diseases, stroke, diabetes, obesity, and kidney failure, and others mainly are the outcome of the biochemistry processes through the circle of life. 

           Many are still focused on nutrition and food as the way to heal. However, life has a wider scope than this. There are primary foods that are being swiped under the rug for the complexity of their dynamics and require a higher level of honesty, authenticity, transparency, and accountability including Career, Relationships, Physical Activity, and Spirituality. As no matter how healthy you are eating, what the top-notch diet you are following, if your body homeostasis is in jeopardy, food is going the hurt you, your biology will act against you, your metabolism will impact your gut-brain axis. The human condition is an Ecological system, more than just food, diet, and sleep. When the life circle is imbalanced, humans will keep getting the same results the loop and mostly the blame goes to the person in charge rather than starting to have a comprehensive understanding of the circle of life including Finances, Career, Education, Health, Physical Activity,  Home Cooking, Home Environment, Relationships, Social Life, Joy, Spirituality, and finally Creativity. The highlighted areas may consume more than 75% of the human attention as social animals. However, the other components are camouflage factors hardly to find honesty, clarity, guiding, and accountability among humans to build a healthy strong community able to sustain everyone included within s here lies the beliefs, attitudes, and the inner circle's competitiveness to include only who along within the mainframe of the greater vision in favor of designated population, color, and race. Inclusion and diversity are still conditioned. And the health outcomes are more threatening to human life than ever. It feels like less population on earth principal has to work for the top 1% and disease and death is the way to reach this goal. 

         That is leaving humans to think about the children generations, are they going to inherit this equation, a child can not determine which tribe they have to be in, this is part of their destiny. However, the imbalance starts earlier when they reach 12 years old and start to question more why and why not, their limited understanding of what is waiting for them is gradually putting them in a heavy mental struggle that is beyond their capacities, they don't own the affluence to switch their lives to the outcomes that put them on the 1% mind frame. They start to throw themselves within any groups that at their understanding will save them no matter the belief, attitude, and the demographic factors, and many lose their identity while thinking they are solving their problems and challenges they are bringing harder challenges. The vision is vague, mixed messages, confusion, and the body is collecting all these data and shifting the DNA, unhealthy diffusion of the cell and the road continue the loop of cell disruption, more personality disorders, more chronic illness, and disease. The mainframe is built upon designing chaos and disruption of relationships on career and personal level, in favor of few, the human condition misses the shared responsibility and accountability to honor the human beingness and needs. Humans are identified either with or against. and this determines the outcomes of the human conditions. 

            The formula toward healthy communities and human conditions goes back to reconsidering where humans are in the circle of life. Educate young people about it and how to reach the balance to be. It takes a higher level of consciousness to be self-aware, and honor the beingness and the space that human existence is allowed to reach the optimal results to honor their beingness regardless of how they look like, what they wear, what they eat, where they live, how they believe, and restructuring the main corners toward a stable human being. It takes beyond awareness of the tribal beliefs to consider the human condition as the focus toward a healthy community. Which world are we leaving to the new generation? Repeating the same loop and getting the same results, or are we going to reshape what we teach and how this teaching is considering the human condition as the core of the formation. Looking for a place of beingness where my identity is being celebrated and counted for, a place of removing the obstacles that lead to illnesses and diseases, a place where all the inherited and accumulated biases are diminished and embracing the humanness in each one on earth, start with you as if you want change to happen start with you, look at your circle of life and where you want to work on, and what is holding you back, be honest, accountable, kind to yourself, as the world is getting tougher than ever. Connect with the soul of beingness and let it be. By: ME," The Old Ancient Woman" 

Conscious Awareness in the Uncertain Times

 

            It doesn't matter what theory do you believe about the origin of human beings, and how they developed through ages. The question will still stand and repeat itself in multiple forms and faces, that is" How humans can have the gift of conscious awareness?"  Many times through that difficulty and struggles I come to this point as it is a definite act of human nobility to rise above all the bad behaviors around and rather choose peace, and self-respect.  Still this background knowledge since high school biology class about the Darwinian theory, I didn't stop questioning about human behaviors. For other mammals they are not complex as human beings regarding their behaviors, they are mostly built upon the 4 F's Fight, fleeing, feeding, and mating which mainly functions through the brain stem and cerebellum. Animals have a limited capacity of the brain driven by their instincts of survival and highly activated amygdala in the face of threat, they attack to defend their survival.  However, human beings are gifted with higher capacities of the brain beyond the brain stem that put them in a position of authority, power, and being co-creators in the divine design of life. They are gifted with the ability to choose differently when it comes to sin, relationships, networks, running the resources entrusted with, relating to cultures, religion, beliefs, norms, values, attitudes, and most of all valuing and respecting human life.  That put a huge responsibility to these conscious creatures, higher and more challenging when it compares to other mammals purpose of their existence on earth. Humans are the most difficult equation that has been established on earth. Where evil can be covered with goodness, the highest degree of deceptions manifested by humans, the highest rate of being able to dishonor human life is done by humans. The greatest socioeconomically, political, Psychoneurological harm is done by humans. The urge for selective groups is shown through all the human conflicts around the world. Multigenerational trauma and bad economics are shown through the devastating approaches taken by humans to survive. 

           The perception of human beings is highly multilayered with the level of authority a human can be given on earth to have life. a simple behavior mostly agreed upon by social norms, the personal attention and loyalty, conditioned loyalty are targeted toward who has the most authority in place, who is in charge, so gaining their level of performance depending on who is in charge, more dependent on pleasing those who are in charge. The focus switches from the task to subjective matter, and it changes with the change of the personnel in charge, there is no solid value in place. whoever is in charge, the humans follow. dropping the essential gift from God given free;y that is conscious awareness. Who am I? What is my purpose in life? Is what I am doing adding meaning and value to my existence? Am I doing this to gain approval, or please others, or hide from my reality, or am I feeling worthless so I have to keep busy doing something, by the end of the day, I am exhausted, I want to spend my day no matter what I do. This internal dialogue hardly humans can stop and run it to be self-aware, know thy self. the majority go with what others do, no matter if this will add value or cause harm to others or self. If humans stop and start to dissect the life they live, many questions will arise to the surface, there will be a shock when conscious awareness is considered. The busyness type of life, the crowd comes, the crowd goes, noisy backgrounds with obligations, unfulfilled promises, a race to compete, a race to have more how it doesn't matter. Humans have come to an age where nothing is predictable or uncertain. Fear is dominating the reactions or actions, subconsciously driven, old patterns keep running. 

      Human identity becomes more questionable. Many times the human judgment is built upon stereotypes. Commonalities, generalizations, and repetitive patterns, that is why most humans experience the same outcomes. Ignoring the individuality, lifestyle, education, the change over time that occur to humans when they change environments, relationships, aging, where they stand in life, what are the experiences that help them shape who they are right now, their belief, political, spiritual, economical, social affiliations. All these factors result in the person that is here and there right now, not only genetics, genes are not the final determinant of human behavior. No doubt in the face of disasters, crises, humans reach their utmost outcome of the extremes, they reflect other phases to reality, the common may be victimized more than ever due to their ignorance of the changes in realities. Humans may experience a more clustered culture more than ever for survival and protection. However, the true identity is hidden due to the circumstances humans have to go through and they are continuous as part of the new norm. Justice is hard to take place to protect the higher up. Bubbles are increased due to fear and worry, what will happen next. Humans are expecting life to go back to normal, however, that is not the design for human evolution. Humans are the greatest experimental design for systems to take place. 

       so, it goes back to structuring and establishing systems within systems for human life to be, and who you are? you are left in a complex matrix of human behavior, hidden identity, shocking outcomes, more chronic stress state, more diseases, more natural deaths from the despair, and helplessness that are shaped within humans living among us. However, it is beyond their comprehend why their lives have to be the way they are and bottling up their fears, worries, stress, anxiety, trauma, hardships, challenges that gives a fertile soil for diseases to grow and the majority go noticed, unaddressed and being accepted as the social norm. So, in order for a few to strive, the majority has to fight to survive. Ambiguity is the rule, confusion and disarming individuals are the best strategy, ignoring those who don't follow the line to be more attentive to the main goal to thrive. Imagin human life now is like a train stuffed with humans driven by fear and uncertainty, and the train is a high-speed train, every second someone has to be dropped off for the rest to continue the route, till the last one will be the driver and who is driving? the simple truth is "FEAR" So, what fears are covering and masking your conscious awareness? A question fro thoughts and may become a moment to reconsider what your life means to you? By: ME," The Old Ancient woman" 

Coherence and Finding Balance within Imbalanced Complexity

 

          One day I thought life is one straight line. Known stages and stops in any person's life. So, going through life with this mindset has its own saying that most of the time takes me by surprise, spins my mind to a degree that I start to reconsider the meaning of life over and over. So interesting when this happens at a young age, the person has many opportunities to understand and build experiences that reclaculated. However, this is considered a shock and mind paralyzing when the person crossed the developmental stages already physically and biologically. So when life happens the over time collected experiences and lessons bring the reflection of the thoughts, decisions, and familiarities with the pattern, and most of all the emotions and feelings the person has lived once and become alive as if they are happening right now at that moment. Unconsciously the body acts upon the old within the present situations, that what mostly been identified as trauma stored in the body. That is why many keep repeating the same action over and over when they are faced with the same experiences that repeat the same cycle or story within the person's mind. That is the moment of most crucial vulnerability in the person's journey and unfortunately, it requires honest, trusted, and safe places and people to contain this moment with the person and walk through it safely. However, when trauma reoccurring it paralyzes the frontal lobe, disabling the person from seeing things clear that will lead unconsciously to repetitive self-harm either physically or emotionally, or even socioeconomically for not being able to think for themselves at that moment, and it may be more difficult if the person is not surrounded by the right people to redirect and empowering the person to move safely from the state of overwhelming to a state of clarity, safety and moving forward. 

         That is a hard lesson to learn, to identify the triggers, the pattern that is being used, normally tactical strategies to bring the person to the point of overwhelm then defeat and waking up to face the results which are mostly harming and lack a common sense, why things have to happen this way. However, that is what brings me to the imbalance complexity with the facts that there are prepared groups, unprepared groups, and the ones that have to learn through hard experiences to bring them to a point of seeing the imbalance within. When the person hasn't built these strong foundations in relationships that matter, there will be a great chance that person will be used and unable to choose a healthy environment that is supportive, reciprocal, mutual, balanced, healthy, honest, and wise relationship. The person gets stuck in a vicious cycle of abuse and misuse, drama, depleting energy and continuum struggles, an endless cycle of negative experiences, and ends up with physical and mental illnesses. The internal battery is being used to burn the good seeds and allowing the bad seed to eat away their capacities, being misled, giving more than receiving, not speaking their truth, accepting things they don't like to do, or being the good girl or good body, completely ignoring their own needs to please the world around them. The person comes to a point that their own need is completely ignored and denied either by them first then by those around them who aren't used to expecting that they will advocate for their needs at any given time. If the person comes to a point that their energy already burned out, that is not expected as well as if they are inhuman or super creatures that run on high frequencies that go on and on. 

          Another reality comes to the mind that with all that is going on in the world after the pandemic, it opens our eyes to look at what really matters, to witness the human behavior at its maximum when power rises and powers go down, voices rises, and voices go down, beliefs change, values change, a new set of expectations rise up, the new paradigm that requires the inner circles to be more closed off and protective for what they accomplished, more tightness in clarity how things go, who is who, and how. Humans seem like a figure within a show, is seen for a limited time, and disappear. Technology becomes the master player in shifting the world whether good or bad. Understanding is only kept for inner circles. The rest of the world is going through the same repetitive cycle of exposure to life events. More mental disruptions, It is hard to understand the reality and who is a friend and who is a foe. Many times you put your trust in the wrong places and people, nobody to blame but yourself since you have to learn the lesson which is so complex. Your desire to change the world becomes impossible and draining. Things happen that way they are, as the master plan doesn't include your plan.  You have to be of a certain race, ethnicity, color, religion, beliefs, socioeconomic status, marital status, culture, shape to the plugin. When you have a different look, voice, and beliefs here you experience what has been for many years racism and discrimination, passive-aggressive violence, harassment, gaslighting, doubting your beliefs, doubting your confidence, and doubting even yourself. This mind game is the outcome of the pandemic that not only brought the world to a health crisis but to character crisis as well, a challenge that every person has to face in the face of adversity and complexity the humans brought themselves to. In that time of great trial, I choose my silence, to move on. Humans won't stop hurting one another with any way or tool they could ever have and that is the imbalance complexity within and I have to keep my sanity and move on. By: ME" The Old Ancient Woman" 

On the diverge for a change

 
 Being around others is an essential cue for socializing and maintaining the connection and balance in human life. Those who live in a tribal setting maintained their rituals for social life, they lived longer, they were more healthy. Their relationships were more stable, arranged, in more harmony. Each one of the tribe knew who they are, their role, responsibilities, and how things can be done without overwhelming others with what is going on. Maybe the demands in life were limited, specified, simple and they are contented with their life. They celebrate well and mourned well. So, their emotional process was so scientifically based by nature due to their high connection with the spirit. They did believe in signs and the higher force that guide them to make the correct and wise decisions. Their rituals in defeating bad spirits which disturb the harmony and coherence within their daily lives. There was sort of discipline and as I said before contentment. They were hunters and gatherers who replicate lots of work, danger, and sacrifice. However, the more stable the tribe was, there was a chance for facing battles with their maybe neighboring or far away tribes. Which makes sense the battle between the light and the dark. It is rooted in human existence. It takes multiple forms and shapes. Despite the race, color, gender, or ethnicity. Humans have to face the challenges or the battles to exist. 

       Thousands of years later, modernization, urbanization, and the lavish desire to look better, feel better, do better, and have it all together, changed the dynamic of how things have to go. Lots of disruption to the social, cultural, and behavioral norms. The changes brought nothing but more disruption to the inner core of stability to human life. Competition, racial marathons, inner and outsider battles, humans created and have to deal with it. Some may the individual have control on, others they are out of control.    The equation for life and relationships becomes so complex.    Lots of options, choices, temptations, and greed to be the best not better as before. And to be the best differed from person to person. The way it is done is also different from prison to person. However, the competition brought the worst in human nature.    How to climb the ladder and who they will step on to climb this ladder. It becomes about how to tear others apart more than what is acquire to be done. You will start to experience secrecy in the dialogue, confusion, what is seen is not what is really inside. The game does accomplish its goals, however, more souls are being torn down. The pride and the feeling good when the person has pushed away from each competition away is highly rewarding and the game continues.  Competition is the rotten fruit that spoils anything good.    Racism becomes the norm, discrimination is the silent killer for any ambition or dreams, as long as the individual is not aware of the competition game. The more attitude, The looking good regardless the means are used.    YOu will start to witness how the socioeconomically dynamic make some arise and others faint. It is the power battle that may look too heavy to deal with as it carries lots of toxicity to human life that impacts health and well-being. The competition of being the best now is turning to the risk factor for chronic illness and diseases. The individual uses all the competitions tools to be upfront and at a sudden, their bodies protest, and the individual never considers their behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, values with their health outcomes.    

It may take decades till the state of the chronic stress that is built over time to manifest itself in chronic illness or disease. sometimes it may be curable, sometimes it may become a terminal state. And what the individual gained from the competition and the hunger to have more and more regardless of the tools never been considered as they want to bury all their actions under the condition they are facing at that time.  I feel sad about where humans brought themselves to where we are right now. I came to a point when I notice the pattern of competition is playing in place and detach myself, as how much toxicity is thrown into my way is overwhelming.    Competition is becoming the agreed-upon social-cultural norm.    It is not worth it. It makes the person lose their lives, and those who they may get in connection with.   I totally understand how a person who comes from a very poor conflicted environment has built this wild desire to become right when they grow up, grouping with those who will help them make it happen, regardless of the means of how this could be. The popular phrase," I was brought very poorly, we struggle to get this or that now......" They can't see other stories that their struggles may be different from them, however, they are battling to do their day.   The biased eye is looking for the same pattern, tribe, group, and undeclared agreement of language. Social and cultural factors are the needle to shift things to the way the new tribe is seeking to prevail and declare. It is not based on equality, inclusion, and true diversity within the mindset and backgrounds. It is based on inequality, racism, and discrimination with the goal of craving the way to those have similar stories that echo the same,    which will lead those who have a different story, and voices to seek the change, and walk their own diverge journey toward real change to what they believe in. Competition is the true pandemic . By: ME." The Old Ancient Woman"                                                                                                                   

Addiction to Drama and Trauma

           Health starts with how you feel. Feelings drive molecules to interact and communicate a certain message. Whether a message will add up to individual health on a cellular level, or leads to malfunction on a cellular level. I have this urgent thinking to reflect on the vital role of how humans interactions contribute to such dynamic. An individual being isn't an isolated structure, it is linked to heredity, social and economic, cultural, and environmental factors. All this load impact health and manifest itself in the individual overall well-being. However, what caught my attention is human communications and interactions that show the blueprint in why things happen the way they do. Even though humans face biotoxins from the food they eat, care products they use, bio fumes, lead in the paint, mercury in Tuna, copper as bi-product of lower-level zinc in the body, electromagnetic frequencies from all the wireless gadgets, the chemicals in the drinkable water, so individuals already have a mountain of bioenvironmental load that over time, reflect itself in enormous diseases even cancer. 

       Despite all these human and non- human-designed toxins that influence the quality of life.  The cultural factor is playing an overdose to fasten the malfunction of human life on a cellular level. An when I mention culture I want to reflect on the survival laws among the tribe. group, or community. Survival to the fittest, natural selection, where power dynamics accomplish the continuity of the tribe existence and to get what they want especially if the target is vulnerable and easy to use divide and conquer, distractions, manipulation, and so much more driven by survival defenses using whatever power to reach what they want, cortisol and adrenaline-driven life that leads to more malfunction on a cellular level. That may reflect itself in small conflicts among the parties involved in the scenario, causing ambiguity, secrecy, recruiting minor players to be the eye of the master player, networking to sabotage the target, putting the target in a state of micro stress to chronic stress boy reaction through the drama scenarios are being put in place. The group knows its target so well that they understand their triggers and responses, attitudes and reactions, so the scenario is well designed to put the target in the drainage state where the body keeps building momentum of the traumatic events and over time it manifests itself in diseases. 

           It can be referred to as disappointment by design. As the group is well organized, educated and their goal is agreed upon. The hierarchy among the group is so predictable, like a template repeating itself over time, how a person behaves, interact, relate, wear, live, work. It looks like a magnetic force as the language is familiar, mostly the same. The main thing is are they aware of the image imposed on the world around them or there is no self-consciousness to address to understand the uniqueness of the world? or because the dynamic is working well and regardless of the opposition to them? the focus on the agenda, the focus on the continuation of what they gain, the focus on higher status among humans for deep-rooted cultural trauma that leads to such undeclared collective dynamic. Creating chaos and drama is the main feature noticeable within the environment to weaken the opponents. It is unhealthy addiction to drama and trauma. It is engrained from one generation to the other as it works to higher goals the tribe or group seeks to maintain. It is that felt of sadness to the weakening of human consciousness. It is an unspoken, undeclared crime against human life and their rights to express their minds, their views, their identity, and their presence as a component of a wholistic tapestry of the universe. 

       That explains a lot about why things happen the way they do. Cultural drama and trauma is an undeclared epidemic, however, it is felt, seen, and lived. And unfortunately no law no authority can address it as it's all related to human behavior, and what are the common agreements among groups. It is that shaky protocol to be used whenever needs and for whatever goal needs to be attained. It is complex and many when they are exposed to such dynamic either remain silent, engage, or leave with no comment. Many either try to protect their position, withdraw, or being the trouble maker among those who choose to put the blindfold on whatever is happening, and the harm continues and becomes a social norm, being agreed upon metaphorically.  I wonder if humans don't have all these fortunes, possessions, positions, authority, power, and influence, will they remain to relate to each other the way it occurs on daily basis? Will their life dynamic be different, with they adopt authenticity, honesty, clarity in their communication, will they stretch hands to others without expecting something in return? will it be a safer place to live, work, and play? Will there be no higher rates of crime, suicide, mental disorders, chronic diseases, fatal diseases, pandemics? Will there be a peaceful world? As Anyone can see all these questions are the result of man-made drama and trauma. May this gives a glimpse of where we are at right now and how much needed cultural trauma-informed communities, to educate, advocate for healthy communities, families, and individuals. However, is the individual ready to give up their greed and maladaptive traumatic past and present? By: ME" The Old ancient woman?" 

Solid Ground Even when It is all shaking around you....

 

The human condition is a state of being. Within a world that is about to contain 8 billion people, with the deep secrete of endless conflicts, and the state of unrest, human vibrations start to reign all the energy surrounding us. Peace only exists in mountains tops, in places that are not inhibited by humans yet, whatever human touch it turns into shaky ground as there are other elements controlling the scene. There are no seen truths or realities, it is all man-made in a continuous state of unrest. A state of instability, a state of ambiguous routs to be on a quest. even some are trying to survive, yet the unsettling forces of conflict don't want life to flow with ease. A restless ocean of contradicting messages and actions, there is no straight line for things. Humans find themselves walking in a labyrinth. If you try to select a path, it is blocked and you have to find your way back especially if you're a woman. Life taught me no matter where you are, the image of women's freedom has no difference, it is conditioned, and restricted, even unexplainable, women have to fit within a specific frame or they are outsiders, outliers, and misfits. No matter how you express your dream of freedom, there is mocking about your definition of freedom. It is restricted unless... and unless can contain whole hard scenarios to tell.  From mountains to rocky soil to dry ones, all touch an essence within. A limit to be shaped, ignoring her voice of choice and accepting her only if she goes with the norm. especially when a woman comes from a specific culture so she is expected to behave a certain way, her life has to be formed in a certain way, and be treated in a certain way, ignoring her voice of being. In any place of the world authority and power has a role to play to make things be directed the way the society wants to be, individuality is a threat, and not considered. Humans are humans anywhere, the race over the more justifies the method is being used, with no regard to others' voice and choice. So, you have to scratch your way in a dry land. Standing your ground is echoing only to yourself. Justice I do believe has no meaning on earth. It is a dictionary word, it has no existence on earth. If you believe we are in heaven, then can be justice that is the only condition the word has meaning there. On Earth don't consider it. The only thing that a person needs to consider is the day they have been given freely from heaven as a gift and do the best on it. Still, as a woman, I am fighting to be, to exist, and breathe, while in the world I don't exist as I don't fit. The list is still the standard of choice. The image, the grandiose explanation of self. So, no matter you are walking on shaky ground within you know who made you like this and He will take it away. Seek and you will find and he never breaks a promise, He is the truth, and I still believe. The world will keep on shutting you down, however, keep on going, shaking is awakening. By: ME." The Old ancient woman" 

The Tough Reality.....

 

 If there are words to describe where I am right now, I can tell I have another mountain to climb. a mountain to face realities, and the undeclared realities. In a world that almost around 8 billion population, you experience such heaviness of the dark side of the world. It brings you to face the inner you, with all the doubts you have that there is a straight line for life. I am almost closing my fifth decade in life, however, the lesson learned made me feel as if I am double my age. There is no denying that in the middle of small joys I am trying to create in my burdened life, trying to take it day by day, around the corner, there is a hidden frienemy who snaps these joys out of envy and jealousy of what is seen. I admit that the heart is the most needed part of the body any person needs to work on. I noticed every year, no matter I am trying to keep myself dignity and recreate my life, there are some waves that are not happy about these choices. I felt as if I am a tool being used and no one cares about what she wants. I felt there is no freedom of choice for people like me. I felt the heaviness of more isolation and not being able to invite anything into my life once again. The lessons are so hard to fathom. So hard to relive the experiences over and over, year after year that truly I don't have clarity around me. I feel I am walking a very ambiguous journey with no clear outcomes. I admit due to each obstacle I face, I do not trust in anything or anyone. I do prefer to keep my limits and boundaries as I am the creation of God who made me the way I am. each lesson I learn is so expensive and tough. I realized that walking the journey on my own is the best solution to keep my integrity and dignity. I am not identified by certain political or religious affiliations, I am God's creation and whatever I do is reflecting God's creation within me. I witnessed the division among humans for multiple reasons social, economical, political, religious, emotional, even without an apparent reason. in the midst of my hardship, I face my realities, asking God's guidance and protection. I learned not to expect anything from anyone. No one is obliged to do something for me as I won't pay back or can afford what is needed to be done. I am more to ground to know that life is not easy to journey, however, I have to do my part. 

Understanding the human conditions, most human diseases are the result of generational traumatic misbeliefs about those who are different from others. I experienced and witnessed the dynamic of human behavior clusters that align with common interests. These clusters shape the mindset, and the older you are, the harder it is to change. Many times we carry inner battles that are inherited from the past. Repeating the same negative patterns that do harm than good.  Understanding these patterns require attention and focus from humans to go back within and ask:" where am II? what is my true identity? who belongs to me and who will have your back if you fall? tough reality to understand that it is hard to understand how I think, feel, and do, and this is so important for me. I learned through the way that in any given situation you are the only one who is going to be judged and criticized. It happens and will keep on happening since there are unconnected two bridges within the mindset. The bridge of perfectionism is where the person has to check all the points on the checklist to have permission to exist and if you are not aligning with this checklist, you are dysfunctional, disqualified, and not accepted or being conditioned to exist. No matter what you do the big sign is the same," No Entry" good job. Thanks for all you do and no more. The bridge of " you are not enough"  where you are measured by where you live, social status, economic status, and your individuality has been denied as if you are incomplete when you don't have someone to be acquainted with. You are a woman, you are not trusted as long as we can see that you belong to someone. The old mindset, women as property, labeled under somebody so she can take the permission to exist.  The big sign is " YOU ARE NOT Enough". Nothing but trials and rejections you get along the way, no matter what your education, or resume, or GPA, you are not enough and out of the social context. Life is made harder for you for who you are. No system or law will be for you as you are not perfect, you are not enough. A mindset that sets conditions on your existence as a human.   You have to understand this reality and all you do by yourself, you are God's creation no matter how many times you are denied, rejected, or put in dark situations, in God's eyes you are enough. Breathe his grace.  The world perception of you doesn't reflect any truth rather the world's own truths that serve a function in repeating stereotypes or prototypes for a vicious cycle is running from generation to generation.  Creating a surrender to dependency, codependency, and resistance against independence and interdependence. The human is conditioned to the functional environment more than embracing God's endless skills, abilities, talents, and unique qualities when He created us in His image. You are a co-creator with God in His will for a life that reflects His own beauty and abundance.   By: ME " the old ancient woman." 

Psychological Safety Gap

                                             

                                                 http://prestosketching.com/blog/

       The more advanced world we live in, with its complexity of technology, expenses, ambitions, how do the person look from the external appearance, methods, strategies, laws, policies, legislations and the list goes on, humans still failing to create a well- being a state of mind. There is this instant state of a battle going on. Humans are wearing the coat of generational traumatic events, battles they haven't been even existing in, however, their epigenetic carry them on neurobiochemical functionality. Many times I ask myself, Are humans aware of the damage they are causing to each other on a cellular level through their past history of toxic upbringing, relationships, interactions, and survival to the fittest or victimhood mentality? Whatever toxic patterns happened in the past they store themselves in the body, once the pattern is repeated the autonomic nervous system jump to react, adaptations mechanisms in early experiences keep repeating themselves in adulthood. So, it turns out that these patterns are the controllers of how a person shows up in the world. How far they are predisposed to repeat the same toxic pattern or being influenced by it?  There will be a negative loop built up in the brain that leads to neuro degradations over time, especially if these patterns are continuously happening. Humans put at the frontline the neurochemicals impacting the hippocampus, amygdala, and prefrontal cortex. Say they how they react to threat, the switch from flat low cortisol to in furious exaggerated stress response. through humans peripheral nervous system that 24/7 collecting information from the environment a person is surrounded by and automatically relates it to past experiences, and depends how far toxic their experiences were, the body will react accordingly. It may look like irritation, agitation, screaming, yelling, crying, whiny, till aggression, violence, and even suicide or homicide. Each individual in such an environment is contributing to the escalation of the threat response directly or indirectly. 

       Directly when the dysfunctional social dynamic is carried to the work environment, where competition, envy, journey, racism, or segregation roots are being developed from early upbringing so whatever reminds me of these unpleasant experiences, the subconscious will react accordingly through negative behaviors may be led to harm those who remind the individual of what they are subconsciously resentful for, using all power the sabotage that person or the presence of this threat that triggers past trauma. Negative loops of behavior will come in form of opposition, complaining, belittling, disrespect, reckless fights, defensive patterns of behavior, and when it becomes overwhelming, humans either fight back or quit. Directly through diseases and illnesses, so it reflects itself through the dysfunction of the body. Both indirect and direct can be traced back to lack of psychological safety, Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), and the build-up of generational trauma. 

        Lack of Psychological Safety within the work environment can lead to hazards, ambiguous conflicts, and either emotional trauma or physical hurt. It takes these incremental build-ups stressful situations to let the body react. Work environments care more about building maintenance, revenue, task to task completion, disregarding social capital maintenance on a level when wellness mindset is a priority. When an employee sense threat to their psychological safety, they will be accused that they are not right in their mind. Emotional trauma can not be traced, it is hard to work with it, it required a well non-biased educated mindset to address it, and start constructive pieces of training towards culture shift, what does it mean by psychological safety in the workplace, and why we care about it, and its impact on the health, and well being of social capital within the business they are considered part of it. Are we open to adopting an open mindset toward addressing the hard root causes of Psychological safety lack, since humans spend mostly 2/3 of their time at work, more time they spend with their families, friends, and doing what adds quality into their lives? many work two jobs, some three, in a constant state of stress that leads to the increased level of irritability in communication, putting the blinders not to see or address real issues. Looking for someone else to put on them the frustration, disappointment, disguised grief for what is lost, not achieved or accomplished or unable to obtain, and looking for a target for emotional dumping, blame-shifting, judgment, or plotting for revenge, intimidation, threat, and the negative loop leads to neurotoxicity, neuron loss, incapacities in the frontal cortex, slightly to the dysfunctional human within the world they exist in. Humans are facing a moral pandemic. It is depleting to human capacities, leads to brain drains, many quit and look for more positive environments to work for or go remotely since human proximity leads to more over stress simulations. Any workplace is a potential for human elevation or human degradations. if any workplace is unable to educate their staff of the changes in their lives on a neurochemically level, the negative loop will keep repeating itself, which I consider is taken away from human rights to feel safe, protected, and cared for. 

     Providing the basis of psychological safety in a workplace requires sincere efforts that care for the health and well-being of social capital as a route toward equality and quality of life. Addressing that each individual react differently to stressors. Identifying safety zones, and how to know that you have healthy social support to help the person to be, regardless of their race, color, age, gender, ethnicity, or where they come from or where they live. A healthy positive mindset requires a deep journey to build humans, not institutes. By: ME, " The Old Ancient Woman." 

Cultural Wounds

 

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The visual world even though it is framed, designed to represent the concept of the environment around it, has been interpreted differently. Humans come from all different routes and cultures around the world. They carry both sides of their experiences, knowledge, and fame. Yes, fame, the one that represents the other side of the story on their behalf. They don't have to retell it or explain it to anybody. It already proceeds their show up in the world. The common story or knowing about a culture becomes part of the individual inheritance. They don't have to ask for it. Hence, decisions, actions, behaviors are built spontaneously on keeping retelling the same story over and over, from one generation to another. However, these inherited stories that shape the world's perception of each other culture carry the positive and negative affect. Take an example, when we hear, this culture is so generous, yet they are aggressive, impulsive, no courtesy. Hence, the generous part will fade to allow the other side of the story to determine their role within the community they show up in. Being aggressive, impulsive, no courtesy will determine what role may be available for them in any place of the world they live, work, and interact with. A conflict will arise if individuals start to prove or act differently from what they have no fault to inherit, the cultural fame. This conflict is the seed of planting more wounds in the way of feeling, thinking, behaving, and relating to other humans. It creates this surface tension that you feel like wrong things are the common rule in place. The person who has been labeled or stigmatized culturally will start showing the signs and behavior of cultural wounds. When the person starts doing passive-aggressive actions against the ones they trigger these feelings or emotions in their lives. They start to get professional in hiding these actions or admitting they are doing them. Since they are subconsciously built in the brain and the body is automatically doing the harmful action to others once these feelings or emotions are triggered. 

         These harmful actions start to influence their relationships at home and at work. At home we may label them as abuse and neglect, gaslighting, narcissism, racism, biases, domestic violence, and homicide or suicide.  The animal brain is controlling the mind and its actions to feel satisfied, or fill the cultural wound that has been left unnoticed, unaddressed, unidentified, or even turn the other side of your face and ignore it, Humans become to state when they tolerate harmful actions done around, they become numb. Everyone wants to be identified by the good deeds, of saying hello, good morning, how are you? and the common famous global lie the answer: "I'm fine". We all know it is a lie. It is not the truth. Though I don't trust you enough to let you know how I truly feel. Cultural wounds allow mistrust, distance, avoidance, and ignoring to be the top behaviors in human reactions. I did unjust to a person, the shock of my action made the person wants to ask me why you did that? what we say confrontation technique. However, I choose to avoid, ignore, stale my presence and the chance to give this person an answer since I know from the deep bottom that my cultural wounds revealed themselves in my actions against this person. And the loop goes from one activity to another without confrontation or acknowledging the harm that has been done to this person or a group of people. 

       Cultural wounds are the hardest part of any justice system since it leads to confrontations, discomfort, and shaking the underlying causes of the harmful actions. It is a multi systematic family. Its parts are complex political, religious, race, gender, age, color, economic, environmental, whatever dominator reigns in this multi systematic family needs to be addressed and that requires resource, either humans or funds and whatever included dealing with the truths, not sugarcoating things and setting on a can of worms all the time. It is a transformational movement. Since all subsystems have to put down their overprotective on their systems, stop fingerprinting, protest, causing more harmful actions, and stop, notice, validate, rethink, acknowledge, and talk the uncomfortable talk, or by means to mature and grow up and rise up to the level when my opinion, views, emotions, and feelings are respected, considered, and heard. As it is said, open a window for verbal economic. I express my mind not to accuse or shame or blame you. I express my mind so we both can acknowledge the elephant in the room then what can we do about it to make the world a better place for you and me. And the required maturity in thinking. the majority are grown up physically, yet still acting with what happened to them when they are little. Time to mature from high school culture to well-respected valued human beings' culture. By: ME." The Old Ancient Woman." 

Crossing The Great Falls

  

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                                 The rocky road may bring a person to notice, to observe, and to make a rotation of remodification of how they see things. sometimes I ask why toxic thinking exists in the first place? why heavy energies accumulate over time, and there is no awareness about its impact on creating healthy communities. If I read the logo:" Stronger Together" and I want to see it in action, it gives me a whole different dynamic, that I experience a different nature of the action. It gives me that there are undeclared rules for this logo to be a reality. first, a person has to prove a complete surrender to how things have to go. A person has to be willing to deviate from what they consider their core value and melt within the common dynamic to get things done. Outsiders are kept at bay, as they are considered prideful with their level of expertise or knowledge which may cause discomfort around the overall frame. So, they have to be doubted with each input they try to make. Giving them the impression that what they do is completely unacceptable, disorganized, meaningless, useless, and not worthy to listen to or consider. They have to be surrounded by blockers who will make sure they are kept where they want them to be, no further truth to be provided, create battles of division, smoke screen, shadow boxing. to make sure things go as supposed to be. For a person who does not understand all these heavy energies in place, a sense of fear, and intimidation will be in place, walk next to the wall, avoid being in contact with the outsider, even though they see how things are going. Yet, there are many other elements to the equation. Paying bills, having a job to provide for themselves, and their families, the economic state that the world is going through. So, do not expect to have allies on your side if you are the outsider. All your efforts will be pressed against, so you will look like a crazy person, doubting your mental capacities, and the overall policy will make sure to set up all the actions that will prove this. So, it is a losing battle, many unfortunately lose their mental capacities when they are faced with these heavy energies. especially when these energies do hold a position of power, authority, money, and have the socio-political, social-economical support that keeps the validation for all their decisions. The outsider is only a zero influence within the dynamic, and mostly they are being pushed under the rug till it makes its impact, so like a monopoly game. Millions lose their lives and existence within. 

          The tactics do eat away the spark within the outsider, leaving them chopped with no wings to fly. Secondly, another question comes to mind, Is it worthy to use all the energy given to a person in sabotaging, depleting, erasing the outsiders? And why are they called outsiders? if the goal is creating profit, successful community, well-experienced teams, why not reaching common grounds, redirecting the toxic heavy energies into more productive, healthy, and promoting energy for good actions for all. Why exclusion has to have the final saying? I find myself in an endless set of whys? which leads to nothing but another waste of time, and energy. For God's word-heavy energies won't disappear from the earth as this is the battle for humans on earth to go through. By means, humans are not living in Utopia. The evil convinced Eve to eat from the tree playing on the sting of knowing, power, authority, and the more law, the first betrayal committed and planted the fire seeds of heavy energies within the human soul, which becomes the nature element to exist of earth, survival mood, fighting for survival, argue, conflict, struggle, battle after battle and by nature the human likes it as it proves who is in control, and it is a good feeling. I conquer, I win, I gain, I reign, I am in control feels sooooooooooooooooo good, more, please. As if it is King Lear on the show over and over, who is going to win regardless of the actions, regardless of who is going to be hurt, shredded into pieces. Yet, it is not the person, it is the seeds at work, the monster does not think who they will be going to be their meal, all they are occupied by is satisfying their hunger which has no end. They are in a constant state of filling this hunger. expecting the monster will be satisfied sometimes, is a lost battle. So, choose wisely, when authority and money are more important than a human, it is a losing battle since the outsider will be eaten on the way.  

      Thirdly, If you want to create a healing community, you have to recognize the presence of the monster, and reach a resolution of acceptance, yet, move away, and pick your battles, God is seeing it all, and He is allowing the presence of the monster for a reason, and purpose. Heavy energies will not disappear, they are like a weed strengthening the soil.  So, Healing will take place only if a person becomes aware of the piece of the world around, and its function. It is a deep journey, some are being chosen to go through, understanding how this changes the DNA of humanity. If we truly want to reach a healing world, we have to allow things to serve their function, walk with God, search for His wisdom,  He sees you,He hears you. No matter the rocky roads you are walking through, they are there to serve a purpose, it is a journey of many aches, only to tell you who is really crossing the great falls with you. Do not expect to have allies, or have a crowd around you. As an outsider, you have to go through the valley of the shadows of death to give proof of who reigns over the world and the universe. He reigns. have comfort, and join His presence as He is crossing with you the great falls. He picks you up, disciplines you, changing you in His image, so, Rejoice, and walk with Him Confidently, He is smiling at you no matter what. Imaging He is already there next to you. How this will make you so proud? Rejoice. By: ME" The Old Ancient Woman" 

why some favor the Solo Journey?

 

                                                                      shethepeople. tv 

                            Have you ever question why the universe is in a resistant state to what beautifies the soul naturally, and long for, chase all that is outside the soul?  Have you question if a person can be governed by the rage coming from the outside? Sometimes it is hard to look within in a world that is asking you nothing but chasing perfectionism, gaining satisfaction from a materialistic, unending line of requesting you to put all your guard, lose yourself in what you put on you, it is a void journey, it takes the soul into a severe conflict within, to doubt your reality if you are enough. The heavy requirements from the outside, do not ever show how a person will deliver these requirements or are they connected to reality, or why are these requirements made first place? It brings me to a point of the cultural conflict which based on socioeconomic, sociopolitical, even beliefs. Humans are created to inherit the earth, to build a life, to be stewards to keep what God has given for free and multiply. It gives me the image of a builder, a farmer, a reformer, a healer, a teacher, a nurturer. If these are some of the main purposes of humans here on earth, so even they do exist, why this turmoil in exploiting of the human soul to struggle and suffering?  If God's will for us to do good? why we choose otherwise? 

                    When human life turns to be hurting rather than healing, a person has God's permission for the person to walk on their own with God. Since being with other humans is adding more trauma to the human soul. For pleasing the world, a human choose to plant division, separation, unrest, conflict, and many other forms of turning others' lives into a hard place to be. It comes to a state of surviving from one to the other. a person starts to question whether it is good anywhere? And what this good mean to them? When the person falls into the endless requirements of the world, it becomes out of their control that they become slaves to the mercy of the outside world to get what they want and do what are they asked to do, even if it is at the expense of others rights. Here the true purpose of humans on earth, the heavenly bond is broken. 

              Now it is a bond among humans to a human who draws their outlines of how the world has to go. From person to person, family to family, society to society, community to community, till we reach from country to country, countries to countries. And for the life to run, there have to be classifications on anything is handled by humans and its outcomes. When a person is more dependent on the world to provide for them from day to day, here the conflict is getting higher and higher tight since it is the exposure of both beliefs, and the undeclared rules the nature of life. It is a passage that sometimes brings the hardest parts in the person weaknesses, to be exposed, or being played. It turns to be retraumatizing over and over, leading to the struggle on the biological level, changing the functionality of mind and body, due to the struggling soul to comprehend why this or that? The soul longs for peace, unity, and a life with compassion. If the conflict becomes overwhelming, making the person sick, withdrawn, avoidant, powerless, the soul urge the person to walk away from all this dysfunctional cluster of struggle, to connect with God, to find the peace, unity, and compassion on a higher level to understand that humans will keep their dysfunctionality to meet the requirements that have no end till the day come to understand non -of all they fought for, lost to get it, hurting others on the way, will mean anything, when the person comes in a place to find nothing but God who is waiting for them asking, how did you find your journey that I got the ticket for you, for free, all I asked you is to pray, call upon my name, glorify my name, plant the seeds of goodness, let your light shine, let my name known, live an abundant life in my name, reflect my image in you and your life. And so many other truths to be recalled, remembering from ashes to ashes, from dust to dust, and from glory to glory. 

         Choosing the solo journey is a call for soul purification, finding the meaning and purpose of life only God knows about it. When the soul struggles, finding serenity is the salvation to the light to keep shining, living by the spirit, it is not an easy journey as a person will put down mostly all the flesh desires, disciplining your soul is the hardest test from God to walk into. You make God your only source to teach, to guide, and seek His wisdom. Everything is possible with God, If a person chooses to believe so, and unite with God's voice and whispers to lead you in this ambiguous journey. By: ME" The Old Ancient Woman"

                                                     

The feeling language. The language that divides

 

Seen a world that is moved within by a wild rage of contradiction, differentiation, and unsettled waves of feelings about one another.

In the modern world, it is hard to see one ethnic group or culture, The world is pouring into people's lives multiple races, languages, cultures, history, beliefs, approaches on how life has to go or should be, giving humanity a challenge to pick from. Here lies the importance of choice. The voices a person can make align with what they believe in. Sometimes these choices come upfront of cultural, ethnicity, and gender alleviated feeling language that runs the back scene of the outcomes. It is cool to see pictures, hear songs, read books about unity, inclusion, diversity, tolerance. It is feeling good when we read, listen or watch a movie or TV show that reflects this paradigm. It is the feeling-good impact that increases dopamine fusion. It is the quick fix of the culture around. it is a short-term feeling language as at a certain moment a person has to move away from this or it happens, it is done, you have to go back to reality. It is you as a person, how you normally feel through the day,  how far you are connected to yourself, not waiting on things to happen, to make you feel good. The alignment with the core beliefs is not impacted by feeling the outsider when you don't feel you belong to any group around, and something different about you. The way you look, talk, behave, act, interact, doesn't tell that you do belong to a specific group. You are feeling different energy. 

The feeling language of not being liable to any label is put on a person to walk in the world with. Throwing all cultural norms, breaking through the inner soul reveals more than the spoken words. Only use the inner compass within to feel the world around you. As long as we have barriers, boundaries, limits, restrictions, side talks, background scene scenarios, and free ourselves from all that, especially when you are a woman who refuses to be controlled, and you are fighting for your free soul that is being unwelcomed, unaccepted, pushed away from the true life, being an outsider. You begin to read feeling language which surrounds the physical human energy. You start to sense what is unspoken which might scare you and takes you in another world of listening to the unspoken that is reflected in the way the other approaches you, you sense the scared heartbeat, the stress level, the discomfort, the wandering eyes, the unsettled bodies, the buddy system since the fear of standing alone and be their own voice is not an option, so you feel the mind games that drains humans capacities, drive them away from the reality, living in the feeling language world. 

The feeling language determines the decision-making. The stories we tell ourselves impact the outcomes we want to see. What if all these stories hide another truth, the subconscious mind that stores lots of bringing brainwashing about life and how it has to be. The sense of control, the narcissistic ego to break down what is blocking the way. To gain control over the real interests which give more dopamine feeling good short term, quick fix feeling language. Which become addicted, the person who fell in this trap can not see the truth behind this like the addiction of feeling good takes over the mind, the body becomes a hungry beast for more feeling good language, consuming the biological storage of something that is created to benefit our lives, yet ends to be a harmful thing for the long term. When you are in a room where your seat is specified, your zone of thinking and acting is predetermined and the outcomes are clear. No one is able to reveal your subconscious feelings, motives, reactions, or actions, you are limited. It is different when you are given the freedom of movement, and acting, here the feeling language takes control, the perception, the old beliefs, the attitudes are in place. It is not what you wear, it is the body language, facial expression, tone of voice, heartbeat, wandering eyes, the posture, the clench of your fist, the steps you take, the breath you take, how you stand, sit, move, all is the interaction of the force of the human magnetic field that clashes when the energies are conflicting each other, here you feel the heavy energy in the place. In the short term, if this energy is not healthy, it has its unhealthy effect on the human psyche, dignity, respect, value, and draining the human true capacities. That what is leading to lives to be compromised and at sudden hard things happen, since the unawareness of the feeling language is playing in place, we as humans become the true enemy of ourselves. 

In my experience and journey, the feeling language does run the world of power and authority. You bring all that you believe, sense, and perceive into action even though what we wear is different, the subconscious belief that if I have the power if I have the authority if I am in control if conditions that followed by decision making and how you want the world to see you, takes over, it is a losing battle that cost the human soul and being trapped in a toxic cycle of the dysfunctional limbic system that only feeds the human ego. It is unhealthy to live in the feeling language, it is so important to identify it earlier and start working on your true self, not the layer of toxic beliefs that may lead to a betrayal to your own self. Feeling language thank you for being there to remind me of what I have to work on, and identify the true self, silencing the voices of disbelief, and confusion that leads humans to lose themselves. By: ME " The Old Ancient Woman." 

The moment I can see........

 

                                                            Driving Mountain Roads

Before traveling any road, a person would love to have a map in hand or be familiar with the road they are about to take. It gives a clear picture of what to expect, destination, time, and the situations may arise. My journey has no map, it presents itself to me, leaving me with the options take it or leave it. No previous discussion, or asking about what do I think or the journey falls into my personality, responsibilities, and skills. What it will add to my skill set? will it help me move forward or keep stuck? How much growth will be obtained in this journey? To empower somebody, they have to have the clarity, transparency, of why I have to do this or that? It builds trust, and accountability that the person in safe hands. Using the element of surprise with vulnerable people aim only at one thing, gaining control over them, and controlling how their life has to be, as we say the vicious cycle. The human mind does not want to surrender to the point of being straightforward. 

A vulnerable person sometimes travel the journey with good intentions, expecting the good in everyone, every road they travel. When they kept taking by surprise, all previous wounds surface themselves up, turning the moment  of belonging into a moment of exclusion, outsider, opponent,  stranger danger, divide and attack, alienation, upset, frustration, and shock. The moment turn to be an emotional turmoil and here when the scenario starts to take place, the aim is to disarm the vulnerable person so they have nothing to lean on, and the action is taken. When your vulnerability is seen and known, power take place to push you more and more down, silencing your voice, and bring you back to the box. it is the impulsive roadmap of being unsafe on both sides. Acting out of power is a sign of deep inside fear.  

If I couldn't control you, I will control how the world sees you, universal rule, even you don't know the other on a personal level, here comes back my concept is seeing the human as an idea, and since this idea is opposing my overall plan, or causing imbalance, or disturbance, the idea has to be broken down , or go away, or end. The question is why? brings itself again on the scene, why things happen the way they happen , and how can we break this vicious cycle of taking advantage of the vulnerable,  or not considering their presence, voice and action in the journey? Why they have to be invisible, vanish or disappear? Is it gaining more power, authority, money, wealth, or prestige? why enough is not enough? Why the iron hand has to have the final saying? Using fear, threat, intimidation to oppress ,and here bad things keep happening. A mountain of suppressive emotions and unspoken words within the vulnerable till they do something wrong to confirm the world views around them. The bottom of the iceberg of building tension, fear, intimidation, accusation is not seen, what is see is the wrong doing, as if it is a step in the built-up scenario of the vulnerable person profile. Emotional tactics do exist or as we say the psychological element of building the ring of tension around the vulnerable person till they reach the moment of break down do exist, and it leaves no mark behind all what is measurable is the wrong action the vulnerable did? Manipulation in words, and messages, you notice the contradictions and yet it may be explained from the other perspective the way they would like the journey to go?  

This brings me to another concept of free will? what do we mean by free will and where it stands in the world of power, authority and money, the haves and the haves not?  When the mind is trying to make sense of what does not make sense? I find myself only standing at the road looking as far as I can see, the roads are made for us to travel through, they don't move, they are stable, and being maintained to keep their purpose. even it looks like a whimsical lane still once the person reach a point it looks straight. Can this view be applied to our ideas about each other. I see uncomforting situation, I see foggy roads, unclear outcomes, or what am I up to? I sense an existence of rocky intentions? I see ignoring of the voice. I see imbalance in power and discussion making. I see conflict, drama, negative bias, threat to my existence, competition, lashes under the belt. I see power struggle, I see concepts of modern slavery, the slavery of the minds, the control of balances and checks, I see implicit biases, all these mental images and battles a vulnerable person scenarios going on  since their psychological safety is absent. To be who they are, true self in any environment without being judged, as safety doesn't take place at first, their trust is completely damaged.  Leading us to the world of misunderstanding and confusion where the person stands, how they show up in the world, and how they are perceived by the world and others around them. Am I wrong? and If I am wrong, will you be able to explain to me? Explain to me in an honest manner ,since a vulnerable person has developed a compass to detect whether you are honest or not, here the walls will get higher and higher since allowing others into their space adds wood to the fire, it's damage more than it reclaims. So, welcome to after math trauma, which carries lots of defenses, and spikes to push away anything or anyone they don't feel safe around, even it may be not. I don't think any other creature can use this build-up strategies to diminish another creature but humans, and this reflect how far humans are ready, equipped to use the animal brain more than the human brain. it is a cycle going on and on, when  the voiceless has no voice or asked to have no voice. I realized this warfare is a continuous road map for the same battlefields a human can travel through. faces may change, names, status, location, yet the main scenario has been announced among the other to be carried out. You become the target, and the target can be traced, tracked, and circled to reach their point of completed weaknesses then vanish from the earth. It is a warfare if your voice is different from the crowd or cause unrest to the crowd. And here the crowd succeeded to make you a target of negative attention which distract everyone else from what is truly going one. Like putting a piece of cheese in front of a mouse, while the game is behind their back and lack of attention and that is the worst place a person can be. We live in a world of the absence of psychological safety which leaves communities, organizations in a state of resources depletion, and the main resource is the human capacities. So, not only natural disasters, pandemics, recessions, it is also a mental war over the existence of ideas. keeping the problem persist to exist. I feel unsafe of unclear travelled roads, I feel Iam lacking my psychological safety, correct me if I am wrong while Iam searching for answers why things happen the way they do? Still searching for my voice in a globalized existence. By ME" The Old Ancient Woman,"