Women........ Man Up

I don't know as many times ideas come my way through everyday experiences and challenges. How many of us don't like maneuvering and mary goes round daily tactics in order to manipulate a situation or somebody? I totally understand this will sound really odd. Yet, in a tough world we live, to do your day, walk through your personal battles and trying to get the best of your presence within the day. For many life is a counted breath, so they know so well that every day is a precious gift from God so no need for any type of mary goes round tactics. As they deeply understand what they see in front of them so when they do something, they are fully aware why they are doing it, be yourself no matter what.


In a world that is filled with unhealthy patterns of thinking and belief where self-perception and emotions are the main control of the day. Layers of accumulated misperceptions, decision making and a reputation built up. In a moment when you realize that being you is more than what the world is trying to chain you with. In a world that is controlled by women emotional packages, blockages, if you don't go with the flow, so only the mercy of God will walk you through. Everything you do, say, or breath or even taking a breath in or out will be judged.

So, our day turns to be focused on how to beat out this of the flow. Testing the waters, going through lots of experiments and experiences, there come to the patterns and what follows is hard judgment, it won't end. So, you become the one who will do the CPR for herself. I hope you got what I mean. The black duck, the outsider or please go away shout behind your back. So, let's see what is going on here?

When we face two forces into our day and we become so driven by them, here conflict won't end. When the battle between the External locus of control where everything is out of my control and things happen to me and will keep happening to me, blaming, finger-pointing, shaming, being guilty, excuses, accusing, judging, gossiping, hating, angry , functioning in the world as  a victim and trying to take control or going through the mental game through the inferiority complex . So, to gain the battle you have to have a protagonist in the schema to be the focal point of the personal agenda. Somebody has to wear the robe of unwanted and keeping collecting or building the pieces of evidence that will support the schema and this is so clear in many work environments. Who will be thrown away and who will take place. On a minor level of any political upheaval when groups takedown systems, governments, leaderships, and people since they don't align with the hidden agendas. or like a coup, using influence, power, and authority to bring a certain agendas to reality. So we notice in this maneuvering tactics who doesn't fit, has to be outed. Using all mind games and looping in words, actions, and attitudes to kick the person out.

On the other side, we are faced with an internal locus of control, where you tell yourself Iam in control, it all comes back to me, Iam my choices, decisions, and Iam responsible for any detours, crisis happen in my life. Iam not influenced by the world package trying to push on me. Here lies more emotional stability, and the wise mind can do its job of thinking and respond when challenges come to a point don't make sense. How many of us are allowing their internal locus of control reign?

It's hard to go through life controlled by our emotions, it is draining, unhealthy and toxic in the long run. When it comes to working, it is all about what is the vision, goals, values, and aspiration. What do you want? Looking at each one as an individual value, and addition, a contribution, an expert in a specific area and be trusted in this area, no emotions there as it is business you are an added value to the complete picture as there are dizzellion competitors out there, so it is all about what makes you stand out as a community builder and contributor?

Here comes the importance of the work culture and what makes people love where they are. Treating each individual as a specialist, each is really good at something so invest in this spot of specialty.  No place for personal judgment or personal perceptions that lead us to a vicious cycle of devaluing one another. Here comes the role of work culture in building up their individuals as they do believe and trust in the value they add, yet when it comes again to reactions and emotional lead souls, balance in the place has no place. Instead of being at peace about what is in my hand, here emotions take over to stir endless tactics to get rid of the protagonist and flip the coin. Being subjective not objective brings no good especially with those choose to be who they are and be true to themselves.

When we are realistic about what we want, we may become honest with ourselves first then others, so women... Man up and don't be part of demolishing another woman, be part of lifting them up.  Emotions are getting us nowhere but losing one another for vain gains .... emotions trap us in our limitations ...Man up By: ME" The Old Ancient Woman"

Moments of Authentic Joy

Have you felt one day that you are walking in the dark? Losing the sense of joy within, questioning what is next? All you have to do is to keep moving. You have to do what you have to do. You have to stop thinking at this time and breathe, look at the spacious beauty in nature around. Listen to the flow of water from the water fountain. The stillness of the trees around. What beautiful scenery to focus on. Each time you give yourself the chance to realize such beauty, the more peace comes within.

It was one of my weekends, I had my plans, yet surprises happen, the meeting was canceled. And as a fixed planner, I haven't checked any updates so I headed to where the meeting will be, my mind is wandering and asking myself cool will you make it on time? Or anyway Iam here. When I arrived, facts came in my face. The meeting was canceled, checked the calendar and here yes it is true.

Walking around in the place and here next door I saw a group of ladies and children are around them. My curiosity led me to knock the door and say, " Hello! Iam Sarah, what is your gathering is about?" With a smile on her face, she replied, " we are here to dance." Aha, by the way, the group of cheerful peoples are from India' cultural community. Since my teenage, I am fascinated with Indian movies, songs and the way they dress. Beauty is reflected in each piece you are surrounded with, a spirit that no other way, you can't be sad or miserable with such happy hearts. Working with many from an Indian background, all they care about is service and family connection.

So, gently I asked her if I can attend and watch the performance. She went to talk with other ladies who I came to know later they are the dance instructor and the lead lady, then she came back right away and invited me to join them. She directed me where I can sit and from this moment I was surrounded with very humble cheerful wise hearts, from teenagers who came to sit next to me and explain what the performance is about and what they represent. Say it is a spiritual-cultural performance. So, it is deep and symbolic. Lots of articulated movements and suddenly a fact struck my mind. All the dance movements, work on brain integration, midline and how frontal cortex looks in real life and actions. That gave me why certain cultures are more self-aware, self regulate and balanced, they live in the centered balanced self. That is not an exaggeration, from a reflective analytical mindset, I discovered that I was meant to be present at this time, at this place with such a wonderful group of wise talented people. I called it a divine appointment. When God wants to reveal to you what a healthy relationship looks like. They didn't know me, I didn't know them so none of us were pretending to be something they are, no hypocrisy or deceit in the situation. It is really authentic and fluent. It came from a place of self-awareness who they are and what their vision and mission as a group, one body acting in unity and coherence. This moment Iam experience a really welcoming environment. From time to time, they stop and ask," How am I doing? And if I understand and like to be there?" We exchanged our information and I asked their permission if it is ok, if I write about the event? Absolutely, their generous spirit replied "Yes". I remember back then, Once I got home I reflected on my experience of true joy on a facebook post, short snapshot share. Yet I hadn't had the chance to write about it in my blog. And here Iam as I promised. Thank you www.Tana.org for having such wonderful committed, passionate team spirit who work in unity and the young are learning from the old with complete humility. I came back home, since then knowing that good people do exist. No power struggle, judgment, building one another, lifting one another, understand the power of unity. It was a very spiritual inspiration for me. Thank you for each one I met with that day. Blessings and grace upon you

When you are nobody.......

We all seek to be identified by a certain title, position, family, group, society or race. That is part of human nature, hard to deny. All the Psycho circuits revolve around such persistent urge to be identified. As if a human has no existence without all these identifications. That creates the inner conflicts and misconceptions about what do you want? Truly, what do you want? The inner battle many see themselves going within, to look like somebody, to connect with certain patterns like somebody, to measure your prestigious highly tower status with somebody. So, in many minds, there is this shadow of somebody to be like.

This persistent picture I get through my daily life right away triggers the stress hormones within which naturally induce cortisol that subsequently leads to lots and lot of chemical changes within you and change your neurophysiology.  The trap that many fall within. You can't see it till the tower collapse and everything around falls apart. Wake up what do you want? Again the same question strikes itself. What do you want?


Which may lead you to either more struggling, confusion of losing yourself within the illusion of the societal breakable untruthful images. Or we can call it the delusion of the mind that may drive a person into the untruthful journey, doesn't belong to the true you, walking, carrying multiple persons within. Oh! my goodness, this blows my mind.

What if you identify yourself as nobody, a dash, an empty page of unwritten story, a blank space to be created. That sounds a crazy little bit. For me no, Caging ourselves within the prideful image of the society in order to exist, millions don't fit in. Since by all means, the can't compete with the standardized societies. They are who they are and they know it. Defending themselves is a lost battle. As they by any means won't match with somebody. So the equation of somebody has no relation with them. They are not going to pretend to be somebody or imagine somebody. They accept themselves the way they are, "Nobody" no shape, no color. So the materialistic image doesn't fit with them. They have a whole complete different neuroception, connect them to a different realm is not identified by the societal complexity and they are happy to know what they want yet to come, it doesn't happen yet. By: ME" THe old ancient woman "

AHa! How cool is that!!!!

The point when you come to burn out mode. Foggy brain, too much is going on and doesn't make sense. Have you ever felt this way? The moment you realize that you have taken too much on you and ignoring these beating rhythms that telling you to stop and take a deep breath. You are a human being, not a robot machine. When our feet can't step one more step forward. Freezing mode, call it this way or the trauma after a turmoil or within the turmoil. Asking yourself, how I brought myself to this spot? Your voice is only echoing to you, no support and being left in the cold.

This is the time that is screaming at you to pay attention to you, witnessing how far you have neglected to take care of yourself. Losing ourselves for the common good, yes it can happen. Yet, when it happens in the wrong places and wrong environment you never fit in or measure up or feeling welcomed. This is called putting your life into suicidal mode by your own hand. That is the best way to put burn out mode in this frame of an image of aloneness within a crowd doesn't even see you.

You can exist around people, yet you don't belong or fit in, you fight your own battles on your own since you don't fit in the socioeconomic, racism, cultural mindset around. That talk about diversity, welcoming those who are different from them, welcoming. When you arrive at the gate, where there is a thorough screen test, background test, personality test, Psychological test to see if you fit in. Since, you won't pass as from the beginning as I said you are different, out of the box, the result will repeat itself, " DON" T FIT". You won't make it through the filter of undeclared standards, unspoken, uncompensated checklist. Let's face it environment and cultural aspects are common dominators now for any society dynamics.  we have to have a common goal, common interests, common mindset. So diversity only comes as a number and added color for the written policies and front page of Media. Publicity and when we dig deep there are millions of restrictions on divergence.

In any place we are not communicating academics, we are communicating beliefs, temperaments, past experiences, biases, prejudices, conflict of interest, being uncomfortable to speak out and stand for ourselves. We take advantage of other circumstances,   which are controlled by lots of negative biases, seeking fault and weaknesses.

It is a heavyweight or picture to walk through in the 21st century. The pride of self-esteem cut people off. So interesting to learn that self-esteem is the root of comparison which will lead to the point that those who don't fit are not good enough no matter their achievements or accomplishment. Strong self-esteem leave the person in the bondage of you don't measure up which leads the person into the deep depression, stuck and here our societal and cultural burdens lead people to either break free and watch the tower collapse before their eyes and start over away from all this dishonest identity of a person or giving up their lives.

Here we come to a question, Is our identity determined by the illusion of self-esteem, perfectionism, false beliefs which are the equation of all human crisis we face. Or our identity is already there even before we were born, God is the one who made our identity. Bring it to the light. when the picture is shady, mysterious and dishonest, we lose faith, hope, and trust. And here the world keeps beating the person asif humans are made to hammer each other if they are not comfortable with each other. That is like children aggression and not aware of the tragic outcome. Since the world of children is egocentric, here we find ourselves in the same frame egocentric and coating it with adult speech. Yet, the behind the scene game is still far away from what has to be done and face the reality of the baggage the societal cultural environmental biases has grown within and it is complex to navigate through each one of them unless you have the magic wand, which makes it more and more complicated as the fight will never end, do you see this with me?  All children will fight to have the magic wand and it breaks as a result. Then we come back to where we begin...... By: ME" The old ancient woman in the wilderness"

In the wilderness of nowhere

When this is going to end .... cool down, it won't end. Welcome to the world