A question that has no answer...

She knows that this is the day, no more back up or fear, she has to go through this. A year and about 3 months after her hand accident, the moment that changed her for ever. She no longer seeing the world as before, no trust or deep belief as she used to have. This open heart that once trusted now it is a million piece . Since then she decided to walk with more determination to fight for her life. The existence as a human being, created on God's image. She is walking this journey with assurance that God is with her, for her and gifted her with this breath she breathes every single day.

With all  the circumstances that insist on beating her down, ripping her soul of any hope, seeking fault in every word, action or even gesture she makes. To the point the environment is not lifting her up, the word hate is repeated, boring, don't like you, don't listen to you, all negative messages are thrown at her as if she is not a human being. Imagine how powerful the words are on us as humans. No matter you hear the question comes back: what all this about? Any way she has to move on. For the gift of life that has been freely given to us is more more worth to nurture it not to diminish it.

She collected her thoughts , this isn't the time to look at these negative messages to confuse and bring self doubt into your life. She started her early morning shower then meditation, walking in her imagination in the pasture of peace. The peace that can't be explained, seeing her worth in the eyes of God not humans. Starting the day with the belief, you will go through this. Take the step and don't think anymore of the same question what all this about?

She questions a lot. Her sight forever changes...... many times she asks herself" what does it mean to live a normal life? . She started to remind herself again ,please stop questioning at the right moment, move on..... to have an open mind, is eating her away. She has to tell herself stop. Move on since mystery is all around.... stories are built around her are enough to push her away at the borderline . Outsiders remain outsiders only because of who they are. So that is the status quo, hardly to change since the same pattern is being used over and over and results are guaranteed. Outsiders remain outsiders.



Now , she can see clear things she can't control. Now ,she only can control herself and walk in peace. Keep the leftover of her beingness alive. She continued her day going through the toughest point her nerve test, what has done is done, she can't see a point of knowing the result as what she care more about is a meaning of her life, she has no prejudice, biases or hate to anyone. Her eye only focused on a meaning for what is left in her life. If you have been one day at a point of nowhere, so welcome and don't give up , give it a try to search deep and understand who truly you are. It is a point in the ocean of life, from the crisp of a new leaf to the falling branches ,you have gone through each phase so keep moving on, don't look back , take a deep breath and say this too will pass, no matter the steep cliffs you pass .By: ME" the old ancient woman"