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Humans are the only creatures on earth equipped to use spoken and written words. It is a powerful tool or the most powerful tool. It brought nations up and nations down, and the same on the micro and macro levels of human communication and interaction. Words directly influence the brain's messaging and signaling on neuroelectrical and chemical pathways. The accumulative language over human life shaped many behaviors and even framed populations into categories. Have humans started to investigate the role of words on where they are right now? How did it serve them or harmed them? What do they like about it, and what do they wish to change? Did their words come before their thinking? Or do they take their time to process all input in the situation given? It is a fact that humans are emotional beings since they are in the Utero till twenty-six years of age, and by shaping their experiences through emotions and words, patterns present the combination of any personality you come across. The human electromagnetic field gathers all environmental messages in a range of five feet. Imagine being surrounded by different personalities around you with additional messages crossing, and words carry emotions and feelings and accelerate thoughts. Thoughts drive actions, leading to more words, feelings, emotions, thoughts, and actions. It is a loop in human communication and interactions. However, the content and context influence the person. Based on past experiences, education, beliefs, and attitudes can expose those who are more prone to absorb all vibes and bring blocking in processing heavy words or interactions, activating stress response, anxiety, discomfort, dis-ease, tiredness, high blood flow, or even defensive phase and words are the driving factor in the situation.
When the emotional state spikes, it puts trauma on the line, and it depends on the adaptive mechanism; fawning can be a trauma response as an attempt to please the abuser. It can grow with the person as their second self. When faced with heavy, sharp, and hurtful words, agree with the person no matter the damage to you. Even when the abuser intends to harm others as well by bringing their self-esteem and confidence down. The process becomes more complex as the person ages when intimidation, blaming, yelling, belittling, bullying, and gaslighting others become the adaptive mechanism for getting what they want or satisfying their ego. It is a tricky equation for human beings since it is rooted in a culture based on groups, societies, and communities who are traumatized or exposed to violence through their upbringing. It is challenging when those who are not aware of their self-worth and value open up to abusers who betray their vulnerability and confide in the wrong places. Creating this cycle of self-doubt, fear, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, questioning everything you do, and you lose the sense of self, need, and wants to become a tool in the hands of those who lack the sense of honoring God's creation, and satisfy their ego through the usage of sharp, hurtful words toward others to get what they want or sabotaging others peace due to their lack of sense of peace within.
The long-suffering of power struggle, pride, ego, greed, racism, and lack of self-love brought humans to endless inner conflict and outer conflict. How much do humans lose on such negativity and restless souls? How much has such toxicity broken down humans and their lives? Do you deserve to be treated like this? What type of authority is the abuser given to damage human souls? Going back to childhood experiences with adults who were abusers themselves, no role model was presented to modulate healthy relationships, healthy communication, healthy interaction, and healthy living. Fawning becomes most the situation, the easy adaptive response to survive. This leads to unhealed wounds. The wounds bring nothing but pain, struggle, suffering, and unresolved trauma, which can be projected on others through emotional dumping, projection, disrespect, humiliation, and extreme pride. The more the person carries their wounds and scares within, the more toxic patterns of interaction manifest. Aggression is a sign of a wounded person who can not face their pain or work through resolving it. Physical aggressiveness is a sign of weakness in the soul.
In contrast, the adaptive response is only to show others your aggression. To be intimidated brings fear to the situation, so fawning will be another trauma response. We have all heard the saying, "Hurt people hurt people." That is true. Not only that, but they hurt themselves too through their violent, angry, aggressive actions, which deplete the pathophysiological organs' functionality. Therefore, gradually, they become sick, and often, it is too late to reverse anything.
Moreover, words can heal and can harm both in a psychopathological way. Living in a diverse, complex world brought humans to a state of struggle to find a healthy frame of words to stretch out with empathy toward others where compassion, kindness, and respect are looked down upon and considered weaknesses; therefore, the person becomes a target to be abused or belittled. The main thing to remember is that the abuser is a wounded and hurting person who is masking their own issues with aggressiveness or violence. They couldn't handle the healing work as it brought them to times, events, and experiences they wished they had never had or experienced. More importantly, try to think from the beginning how did you got to this point of pleasing the abuser as an adaptive response to survive? One day, I wish the world would open its eyes to see GOD's goodness and the life He gave us for free. I want a world filled with peace and people helping people. I wish there was a world where the words race, ethnicity, age, and gender are not twisted to meet socioeconomic and political agendas. I wanted the question each child was asked: "What would you like to be when you grow up? Comes true. Many of the children grow up with the burden of adult trauma dumped on them, and all their hopes and dreams are scattered. We live in a world where the majority carry the pain of shattered dreams, shattered dreams, and loss of trust, confidence, safety, and peace.
Most of the inner conflicts come from the deep pain within. No matter where the wounded person is, words, experience, and the surroundings can activate the stress response due to the loop. Some survive conflict, some survive by putting others down with their words and actions, and some survive by saying yes to all the hurtful words, thoughts, and actions. It is the mental prison humans kept building for themselves and others decade after decade. It is a hard place to live in or get in contact with. It doesn't bring any good to human life; it is filled with toxic vibes that increase the range of disease and restlessness. Vulnerability can be a tool against the person. Vulnerability requires nobility in actions, not betrayal. It is a challenging world where it is hard to differentiate the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is a world of confusion and distractions. When some do not like to see something good happen in others' lives, this flame of envy, jealousy, and restlessness leads to complex words, thoughts, attitudes, and actions. I wish there was free will, freedom of choice, and understanding that each person on earth has their own journey assigned to them, not anyone else. I wish there was a world where people become vulnerable and talk their hearts; they won't receive lashbacks, plotting, and many schemas to expose their vulnerability through complex judgment. A world of scattered dreams and a shattered self removes the sense of being and free will.
Many choose to isolate themselves from all the negativity in the world. They are exhausted and depleted. There is confusion between the good and the bad. Which can you trust, or will you be judged, disrespected, or humiliated? What is the benefit of all this struggle? It doesn't make sense. This brings the alignment of the willingness to walk alone and take your time to figure it out. The desire to work on your own unresolved issues and see away through them. The willingness to face your pain, struggle, and suffering and learn from them. Make them your teacher to see the lesson in between. Pushing against walls of intergenerational trauma is an endless struggle. However, the willingness to acknowledge this challenge and accept its existence is not getting into your words, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and actions toward others. And that takes courage.
Since the defensive or adaptive trauma response will be so much easier than working through the unresolved issues. The loop will deviate only when there is the willingness to ask the tough questions and understand the answer. The loop will dissipate when adopting healthy coping mechanisms, which assign the time to work with the self and the inner wounded person inside of you. There is no magic wound, and no one person can fix you but you. You know you and the experiences you went through. So take courage and be willing to start your own tailored journey of healing designed only for you. Peace !! By: ME." The old ancient woman."
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