From an early age, when I couldn't practice talking and communicating with those around me due to physical and neurological onset from age four, Years proved to me that the written word is my channel toward self-expression and sharing with those who can relate or are challenged in any way or form. Through time I understand how humans waste a lot of time and lives due to misjudgment. The cultural stereotypes that run from one generation to another neglect those who have unique experiences and are not equipped physically, neurologically, psychologically, and socially -emotionally to be on the same pace as those who didn't face such uncontrolled challenges. Freedom of expression is another unique experience as long as it goes in the flow of the soul. When the body is trapped within the constraints of the world around them. I started to ask myself why a whole life can happen within a film and picture a competition for emotions and schema to attract the audience. At the same time, reality includes a more complex story that no script or screen can express as it happened and the overwhelmed social-emotional state that only humans can go through. Many think of the scarifial role as a will of service, while it is an adaptive skill for survival. Society witnesses the outcomes when the body can't hide anything anymore till the body falls apart. Life allowed me to witness the story of decades of neglect of the welfare of the human soul. It is said in medical school that you have to be like a wall not to take the world's pain unto you, or you will burn out, get sick, and can't even take care of yourself or others. However, even if they can be like a wall, the human condition surpasses all possible boundaries that can be built. Still, our bodies pick up on the energies around us, and the more vulnerable the build-up of the human body, the easier it absorbs more draining energies, impacting how they perceive the world around them, internalizes it, and project their understanding around. That perceived reality can bring more conflicts and misunderstandings as many operate from their own perceived reality, activating the autonomic nervous system for more reactivity, defensiveness, and impulsivity. That aligns with their internal perception of the world around them.
Finding my voice within the written word allows me to form this authentic dialogue to process millions of messages I receive daily, even if the misunderstanding occurs in the outside world; I promised to allow myself this space of requestioning everything and filtering what is wanted and removing what is unwanted. However, there is this fine line to differentiate between what can be true and what can be put aside and move on. This filtration process allows me to reform my words and reshape my reality. It is a complex process. However, it gets more complicated when it comes to those who are at their developmental age and can't find that nurturing, supportive environment to allow them to shape their realities. The build-up is fragile; they shake for the last challenge. Extrovensioism shaped the world. The more the person is outspoken, the more they move forward. Those with unique experiences get lost in this outspoken world, get overwhelmed, and their trapped voice starts to shape another world within their heads, moving to the heart, increasing their burdensomeness, or thwarted belonging to listen to the unworthiness and alienation from the world. Instead of forming a voice, they started to take on all negative scenarios that would toxicate their lives at an early age, leading to many diseases and ailments.
The load among generations is overwhelming. The young are lost in the questions of no end, the older are battling the race of either more, pay their due, or the competitiveness of endless zones, and the elderly are fighting till the finish line to be; their lives tell the story of being for everyone around not themselves. Idusterialism and capitalism built cities, not humans. Humans are drained by the race they have to run. Where is true life? I don't know. However, there is a fine line. How to see and understand it, that wisdom only granted to some. The only thing I can see is the breath, So breathe and be real for a moment. By: ME, "The old Ancient Woman."
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