Reflection of A Mind

 

With a deep sigh and wonder at this time of the year and what is more important and unique, as we are in the middle of COVID- 19-2020 a historical paradigm to reveal the inner soul of human beings, what we stand for, who is around us, and how our survival mechanism tells more about human beings, a different story from what it has been told before and what it has already been experiencing. At this time of the year, the holiday season, it is a different year for the rest of the world, yet it is not different for me, for years I have been alienated from real life, true connection, deep conversations, or being normal as before. This year it adds up to the number of years I am on this journey of self-discovery. No more caring how I am being perceived by the world from me, as it won't change, what changed is you, where you are at on personal and spiritual level, how far you ar understanding of the whys, and more open to the opportunities that help you grow. 

Yet, the holiday season this year has more of maturity feelings that you hold no expectations from the world around you. Normally, our codependency on the world to make you happy, to understand you, and be helpful is the easy way to drag your life down, the short cut for frustration, disappointment, pain, anger and so many other consequences that reflect itself on individuals being blamers, complainers, drainers and depleting, and the shamer, as you notice life becomes a nightmare lived, which reflect itself on our mental and physical health, taking a toll on your life, a dead life, no healthy seeds there. Not waiting on somebody or something to make you happy and make your life move, as on doing this, that what breaks the human body and soul. The mind becomes occupied by thousands and thousands of negative thinking that leads to negative decisions, actions, and consequences. You can not control the world, all you can control is you and your perspective on life. What do you want, how you see your life within this moment not tomorrow, or next year. Each moment count in this life, your moment is the breath that you take in and let out.  

As humans are formed by the culture around us, the family is the culture, work is the culture, friends, acquaintances, community, Education and the circle goes wider and wider and if the human doesn't have a strong foundation of self-awareness and self-care, they will get swept in the swirl of unmet expectations that cause more harm than benefit. The loss of self, identity, and the deep downright breakdown of the human soul and your life integrity. The expectations of, if I have this---- this will happen, if This happens---- I will...... neglecting that millions around you fell in the same vein vicious cycle the awaiting on materialistic tangible evidence to validate you as a human being, being controlled by expectations takes humanity to more problems than solutions, undeclared expectations or mind-reading are the deep roots of falling down, not moving forward, creating within a bombshell of anger that declares itself in many ways, implicit bias, racial equality, economical imbalance, crises, challenges, storms of sudden denial to human integrity. Human behavior between two brinks of disaster, lack of transparency, disorganization, fear, stress, abuse of rights and powers, the foundation becomes rotten, so we are faced by a concierge structure leaving human soul depleted, till it disappears. The sick structure is present within the elements that feed the sickness to get worse, is a reality lacks the courage to be confronted or faced, looking at the deep root of intentions and expectations that lead to the current state. It's a journey no one desires or wishes to walk. Though it happens, and when it happens all we want to do is to cover it and pretend everything is ok. And here the fall turns to be faster than you think,   and it becomes impossible to control what is happening. And that is the human cycle for centuries and thousands of years, we humans who cause the harm and we are the ones who have to see it clear, take the courage and responsibility to turn this around. Till you have this courage to face your mistakes and take responsibility for them, you won't be able to get rid of the anger, blame, drain, deplete, shame or judge anyone around you, the toxic bombshell gets bigger and bigger till it becomes the norm. And this is a hard spot to be in. Acknowledging what you truly want, will lift the weight upon your shoulder that suppresses anyone else. This time of the holiday season, occupy my heart, mind, and soul to write, to keep on writing all that comes to my mind and gives me a piece of understanding and growth. Being informed about the reality of your world, gives you a window toward what is the next step you hope to take or change you want to see in you, I say it once again, it is not about the world expectations from you, it is who you truly are and what makes you feel you, forget about any other any expectations outside of you, and reconnect with your mind- body and soul, appreciate you, and value you, honor you, invite God's kingdom to reside within you, rediscover yourself as it is a journey worth walking, welcome you to your reality and life, get to know you as you are missing each other a lot and stop giving each other hard time, separate from one another and relying on the outside expectations, you deserve it so you can be the best of you and your contribution to the world do count, so thanks 2020 for all the lessons you introduce us to... By: Me"The Old Ancient Woman"