Another dot to connect....

A whole year has been so far since the point of falling into the deep point of questioning and realizing that the answer is within. You are you and the body you are in is expressing its rejection to any type of being nameless, aimless, and do not belong. Realizing connecting to the inner you first here sprouts the understanding and awareness of self and your relationship with the surroundings. Chained by fears and doubts brought me to a point of freezing, motionless, invisible from outside to the whole world of meaning and imaging. Picking myself up from the ditch of many lies have been told. Refusing to accept what I see or experience. There is an awakening of how far trauma changed me within.

 Picking myself up to understand and reach the unlimited horizon within. Realizing that surrendering to what we call the norm may be the root of the whole pain occur. What if the norm is the origin where dysfunction begins, disorganizing, detachment and disassociation occur. Understanding may lead to a whole new perspective and no runaway. Facing reality from the point you are in right now, you can not change the past or depict the future, all you have is the moment you are in.

Looking at the facts from the statistic point of view there are three major dominant factors of cultural effect on any social dynamics: Race, Money, and gender. And the more you relate to marginalized groups, the more trauma is considered the norm, where conflict and struggles make it harder to find the point of being acceptance or flexibility within the dynamics of how things can be done. Two Phases are noticeable: Authoritarian or Autocratic. In order to survive, you have to be either of them. To be different and seeking a different route of thinking, here conflict becomes the norm, either you want it or not. Going through the uneasiness of the flow of things. Faced with defensive aggressive attitudes and unexplained chaos. Chained, drained, tired, consumed may become the norm. When you are beaten down, here you witness the cheer around. Again you are not among the right crowd as you don't belong. You came into the world as a stranger and keep walking as a stranger and all this hot beat of unexplained dysfunction, pushing you towards more understanding of the endless complexity of human nature.

From one question to the other, the point that is seeking itself year after year," you are not responsible", with all the studies, research, digging deep towards the truth and nature of a healthy structure for a human mind, body, and soul. For sure when you read the bible, it comforts you to a point that makes you accept what you can not change and hold on these good memories along the way. Coming to a point why am I hated that much? All these negative messages are being designed to change the road map of your genes by allowing them in and here your chronic pain persists. With simple words actions that leave the print within yourr mind, body and soul imprint.

Are we aware of the stressors we are passing to one another? Are we aware of the small crimes have been committed against many living souls in the form of social interaction microaggression behaviors that results in accumulated trauma?

Another question mark, what is all this about, what are the gains behind this? Living in a very competitive world, may result in more and more degradation of human true presence in a more fruitful life, may result in restricted communities, groups, or dynamics. With the perception, interception, and anticipation of a behavior, lie our auto-defense mechanism that acts within milliseconds of an event. So. is our life a big lie, no truth there?

Surviving many events takes me to a point of shaping a route for my present, the moment I am in. For my time is limited so no need for all these unexplained battles,  for sure there are back scenes of each event, yet it is out of my control, all I can control is myself as much as I could, the rest is not mine. Keeping the overthinking, analytical mind won't help when quick actions are needed. Now, the point is the big HOW. By: ME" the old ancient woman"