Coherence and Finding Balance within Imbalanced Complexity

 

          One day I thought life is one straight line. Known stages and stops in any person's life. So, going through life with this mindset has its own saying that most of the time takes me by surprise, spins my mind to a degree that I start to reconsider the meaning of life over and over. So interesting when this happens at a young age, the person has many opportunities to understand and build experiences that reclaculated. However, this is considered a shock and mind paralyzing when the person crossed the developmental stages already physically and biologically. So when life happens the over time collected experiences and lessons bring the reflection of the thoughts, decisions, and familiarities with the pattern, and most of all the emotions and feelings the person has lived once and become alive as if they are happening right now at that moment. Unconsciously the body acts upon the old within the present situations, that what mostly been identified as trauma stored in the body. That is why many keep repeating the same action over and over when they are faced with the same experiences that repeat the same cycle or story within the person's mind. That is the moment of most crucial vulnerability in the person's journey and unfortunately, it requires honest, trusted, and safe places and people to contain this moment with the person and walk through it safely. However, when trauma reoccurring it paralyzes the frontal lobe, disabling the person from seeing things clear that will lead unconsciously to repetitive self-harm either physically or emotionally, or even socioeconomically for not being able to think for themselves at that moment, and it may be more difficult if the person is not surrounded by the right people to redirect and empowering the person to move safely from the state of overwhelming to a state of clarity, safety and moving forward. 

         That is a hard lesson to learn, to identify the triggers, the pattern that is being used, normally tactical strategies to bring the person to the point of overwhelm then defeat and waking up to face the results which are mostly harming and lack a common sense, why things have to happen this way. However, that is what brings me to the imbalance complexity with the facts that there are prepared groups, unprepared groups, and the ones that have to learn through hard experiences to bring them to a point of seeing the imbalance within. When the person hasn't built these strong foundations in relationships that matter, there will be a great chance that person will be used and unable to choose a healthy environment that is supportive, reciprocal, mutual, balanced, healthy, honest, and wise relationship. The person gets stuck in a vicious cycle of abuse and misuse, drama, depleting energy and continuum struggles, an endless cycle of negative experiences, and ends up with physical and mental illnesses. The internal battery is being used to burn the good seeds and allowing the bad seed to eat away their capacities, being misled, giving more than receiving, not speaking their truth, accepting things they don't like to do, or being the good girl or good body, completely ignoring their own needs to please the world around them. The person comes to a point that their own need is completely ignored and denied either by them first then by those around them who aren't used to expecting that they will advocate for their needs at any given time. If the person comes to a point that their energy already burned out, that is not expected as well as if they are inhuman or super creatures that run on high frequencies that go on and on. 

          Another reality comes to the mind that with all that is going on in the world after the pandemic, it opens our eyes to look at what really matters, to witness the human behavior at its maximum when power rises and powers go down, voices rises, and voices go down, beliefs change, values change, a new set of expectations rise up, the new paradigm that requires the inner circles to be more closed off and protective for what they accomplished, more tightness in clarity how things go, who is who, and how. Humans seem like a figure within a show, is seen for a limited time, and disappear. Technology becomes the master player in shifting the world whether good or bad. Understanding is only kept for inner circles. The rest of the world is going through the same repetitive cycle of exposure to life events. More mental disruptions, It is hard to understand the reality and who is a friend and who is a foe. Many times you put your trust in the wrong places and people, nobody to blame but yourself since you have to learn the lesson which is so complex. Your desire to change the world becomes impossible and draining. Things happen that way they are, as the master plan doesn't include your plan.  You have to be of a certain race, ethnicity, color, religion, beliefs, socioeconomic status, marital status, culture, shape to the plugin. When you have a different look, voice, and beliefs here you experience what has been for many years racism and discrimination, passive-aggressive violence, harassment, gaslighting, doubting your beliefs, doubting your confidence, and doubting even yourself. This mind game is the outcome of the pandemic that not only brought the world to a health crisis but to character crisis as well, a challenge that every person has to face in the face of adversity and complexity the humans brought themselves to. In that time of great trial, I choose my silence, to move on. Humans won't stop hurting one another with any way or tool they could ever have and that is the imbalance complexity within and I have to keep my sanity and move on. By: ME" The Old Ancient Woman" 

On the diverge for a change

 
 Being around others is an essential cue for socializing and maintaining the connection and balance in human life. Those who live in a tribal setting maintained their rituals for social life, they lived longer, they were more healthy. Their relationships were more stable, arranged, in more harmony. Each one of the tribe knew who they are, their role, responsibilities, and how things can be done without overwhelming others with what is going on. Maybe the demands in life were limited, specified, simple and they are contented with their life. They celebrate well and mourned well. So, their emotional process was so scientifically based by nature due to their high connection with the spirit. They did believe in signs and the higher force that guide them to make the correct and wise decisions. Their rituals in defeating bad spirits which disturb the harmony and coherence within their daily lives. There was sort of discipline and as I said before contentment. They were hunters and gatherers who replicate lots of work, danger, and sacrifice. However, the more stable the tribe was, there was a chance for facing battles with their maybe neighboring or far away tribes. Which makes sense the battle between the light and the dark. It is rooted in human existence. It takes multiple forms and shapes. Despite the race, color, gender, or ethnicity. Humans have to face the challenges or the battles to exist. 

       Thousands of years later, modernization, urbanization, and the lavish desire to look better, feel better, do better, and have it all together, changed the dynamic of how things have to go. Lots of disruption to the social, cultural, and behavioral norms. The changes brought nothing but more disruption to the inner core of stability to human life. Competition, racial marathons, inner and outsider battles, humans created and have to deal with it. Some may the individual have control on, others they are out of control.    The equation for life and relationships becomes so complex.    Lots of options, choices, temptations, and greed to be the best not better as before. And to be the best differed from person to person. The way it is done is also different from prison to person. However, the competition brought the worst in human nature.    How to climb the ladder and who they will step on to climb this ladder. It becomes about how to tear others apart more than what is acquire to be done. You will start to experience secrecy in the dialogue, confusion, what is seen is not what is really inside. The game does accomplish its goals, however, more souls are being torn down. The pride and the feeling good when the person has pushed away from each competition away is highly rewarding and the game continues.  Competition is the rotten fruit that spoils anything good.    Racism becomes the norm, discrimination is the silent killer for any ambition or dreams, as long as the individual is not aware of the competition game. The more attitude, The looking good regardless the means are used.    YOu will start to witness how the socioeconomically dynamic make some arise and others faint. It is the power battle that may look too heavy to deal with as it carries lots of toxicity to human life that impacts health and well-being. The competition of being the best now is turning to the risk factor for chronic illness and diseases. The individual uses all the competitions tools to be upfront and at a sudden, their bodies protest, and the individual never considers their behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, values with their health outcomes.    

It may take decades till the state of the chronic stress that is built over time to manifest itself in chronic illness or disease. sometimes it may be curable, sometimes it may become a terminal state. And what the individual gained from the competition and the hunger to have more and more regardless of the tools never been considered as they want to bury all their actions under the condition they are facing at that time.  I feel sad about where humans brought themselves to where we are right now. I came to a point when I notice the pattern of competition is playing in place and detach myself, as how much toxicity is thrown into my way is overwhelming.    Competition is becoming the agreed-upon social-cultural norm.    It is not worth it. It makes the person lose their lives, and those who they may get in connection with.   I totally understand how a person who comes from a very poor conflicted environment has built this wild desire to become right when they grow up, grouping with those who will help them make it happen, regardless of the means of how this could be. The popular phrase," I was brought very poorly, we struggle to get this or that now......" They can't see other stories that their struggles may be different from them, however, they are battling to do their day.   The biased eye is looking for the same pattern, tribe, group, and undeclared agreement of language. Social and cultural factors are the needle to shift things to the way the new tribe is seeking to prevail and declare. It is not based on equality, inclusion, and true diversity within the mindset and backgrounds. It is based on inequality, racism, and discrimination with the goal of craving the way to those have similar stories that echo the same,    which will lead those who have a different story, and voices to seek the change, and walk their own diverge journey toward real change to what they believe in. Competition is the true pandemic . By: ME." The Old Ancient Woman"